It was a dark night and a storm was raging. The streets of Konoha were unsafe to be walking at this time of night but one person defied the storm and strolled down the streets, down the alleyways. The wind was nasty, blowing hard; the rain was stinging, beating down upon you, but there was one who felt none of this. He felt no pressure against him from the wind and no bite from the rain. He only felt the pain within himself.
But above the howling of the wind and the beat of the drums that the thunder and lightning made he heard the sound of the most saddest, yet beautiful, melody. One that tells a tale of heartache and pain. One that his heart was singing now, just waiting for the right person to hear that song.
(Keith Urban – Tonight I Wanna Cry)
Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away
Coming up on training ground 7, the place where this all began, all the heartache and pain just seemed to double upon hearing those words. For how many times has he seen the back of the person he loves just walking away from everything that he was and everything that he could be. He was wondering who could feel this pain that he feels, who has found a way to express what he's going through. So with desperate determination, he found himself running the rest of the way to training ground 7 and stopping in his tracks after founding out who exactly was singing this song. There standing on one of the three posts – that he was originally tied to in the beginning of their genin days – looking up at the sky letting the rain fall down upon his face with his eyes closed was none other than that of Sasuke Uchiha.
(Chorus:)
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry
He was wondering if the Uchiha was really drunk enough to let someone find him singing or that he really just didn't care. He thought it was a little ironic that Sasuke would be singing this for he has never shown emotion – he never wanted to let emotion rule him – and what better way to show that emotion than on a stormy night when no one would be able to tell if you were crying or not.
Would it help if I turned a sad song on
"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way
There was a pain in his heart. It was getting worse the more he heard this song. It sounded as though Sasuke already had someone to love and lost her. It sounded as though he would never have a chance to be with the one he loved – to be with Sasuke. For how can he when Sasuke already has some girl in his heart. Just now, his heart broke even more.
More than when the villagers would scream at him; more than when Sakura would hurt him after a false confession; and even more than when his teammates would degrade him for his failures. His heart was shattered.
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with this pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry
With the end of the song and eyes still closed, Sasuke turns around in his direction. And for the first time, his appearance shocks him. Not because of Sasuke's clothes sticking to him like a second skin or because of the bottle of Jack Daniel's held loosely within his hands, but because of the fresh scars upon his arms that are still bleeding freely. They looked like the same exact scars that were now burning upon his own arms. The same exact scars that were made by his own hand after days and nights of beatings and accusations and of being considered a loser or failure by the ones he calls 'precious friends'.
Slowly, Sasuke opens his eyes and stares directly at him with surprise running across his face. It seems as though either the rain or the song just now washed away his mask. For now he can see the turbulent emotion within his eyes. He looks lost, confused, hurt, and, dare he wish it, hopeful. Lost because of the booze, confused as to how he got here, hurt that someone doesn't seem to understand the pain he goes through day after day of being called a 'traitor', and hopeful for what? What is he hopeful for?
"Sasuke, what are you doing out here? And just what were you singing?" He asked, but he didn't notice his slip-up. Instead of calling him his own nickname for him, he called him by his given name. Something that he only did when in an emotional situation.
Sasuke looks at him and jumps down from the post and slowly walks toward him. His heart is racing ever faster the closer he comes. He sees in Sasuke's eyes the same guarded mask that he puts on in front of everyone and his heart breaks more, though how it can when his heart is already shattered he'll never know.
As soon as Sasuke stands right in front of him no more than a foot away, he slowly reaches his bloody hand toward his face, cups his cheek, and says, "Why?"
He's not exactly understanding of what he's asking of him and say's so. He only responds with, "Why must you be here now of all times? Why must you be here when my mask falls? Why must you torment me every day?"
He never knew that he tormented him. All he wanted was to just be his friend and later one something more. He never meant to make Sasuke feel as though he was the bane of his existence. He never wanted any of that. So with that, he slowly starts to pull way. He pulls away his body, along with his emotions and the pieces of his broken heart to be forever locked away within a steal box with chains and padlock.
Sasuke sees this and shouts with so much desperation while clinging to him that it shocks him, "NO, don't! Don't pull away. Don't become what I am. Don't lock away your emotions for no one to see. Please. Please, don't pull away from me!"
He can't figure out what shocks him more. The fact that Sasuke was freely hugging him while actually nuzzling his neck or the fact that he could feel warm tracks running down his neck as though Sasuke was crying on him.
Slowly, he wraps his arms around Sasuke and says in a whisper, "I love you, Sasuke."
He can feel a smile on his neck and pulls away from Sasuke to see that smile. God, how he wished he had the Sharingon right then. That way he would forever be able to saver the look on Sasuke's face for it would be gone within a second. And he was right, for as soon as he saw the expression it was gone and replaced with a scowl. Here it comes, he thought. Here comes the rejection, here comes more pain. But he could handle it for he saw a semblance of happiness, either real or fake he didn't care, upon the Uchiha's face.
"Dobe, I love you too."
At that moment he didn't care if there were others that Sasuke loved, he didn't care that this could be a joke, he didn't care if this was only a dream, all he cared about was that for a moment he was truly happy and that finally he could be with Sasuke.
