First of all, I'd like to say that the lyrics are original and they are my own. The stuff in italics (that are their own paragraphs like they usually are) are lyrics, just sing them all to the beat of So What by PINK. I'm not claiming I own anything... which reminds me...
Disclaimer: I own nothing (unless you consider the fact that I wrote this versions lyrics). The song belongs to PINK and the characters belong to Rick Riordan who is probably very ashamed that this was written with his characters in it.
P.S- I dare anyone who reads this to sing the song and post it on youtube. (give moi the link of course...) I'd really like to hear someone sing it!
Annabeth Chase and I, Percy Jackson, officially have owned our own apartment together for two weeks. It's so much fun to live with your best friend and -as cliche as it sounds- love of your life at the same time as a challenge. Even though I could describe it right now as I've already started, I should probably explain the situation or, at least, how we got here and who we are.
I am Percy Jackson -as stated before- the memorable and unforgettable savior of Olympus. I'm average other than my stunning looks -*wink wink*- and sadly I'm not the brightest crayon in the box. I am the son of Poseidon -yes, I am a demigod- and Sally Jackson, grandson of Kronos, and second cousins with Annabeth Chase.
Now, Annabeth Chase, is a whole different story than myself. She gorgeous and tall though her smarts outgrow her too quickly. So quickly I'm considering putting her in the 'ole taffy stretcher. She's a demigod, just like myself, and her mother is Athena while her father is Fredrick Chase. I need not say more on her family ties, so, I might as well go ahead and say she was smarter when she was five than I'll ever be -yes, I am saying that now so she won't hit me.-
How did we come to living together you may ask? Well it's simple; we've been dating for three years now and our colleges are luckily near each other, just like any other normal couple. Well... sort of. You see, Annabeth and I counsel at Camp Half Blood, where demigod children are trained and protected from monsters such as a Minotaur. We both needed to be close to camp, as well as our schools, so we decided to go ahead and use all of our life savings -more like Annabeth's- and buy us an apartment.
Now that that is very vaguely and stupidly explained, I need to get on with what's going on now. Don't I? Well, for lack of better words, Annabeth and I are having a fight. Our first fight serious fight about living together over something so serious it might change our lives forever. A couch. Yes, you heard right, we ARE, indeed fighting over a piece of furniture. But not just any; it is my mothers old couch after all.
Number one rule that should always be respected: Never, ever, insult a good gentlemen's mother, even if it is only a couch.
Let me describe this couch that we speak of now so very seriously. Bob, The Couch, (I named her/it) is made of worn beige leather and white cloth lining. The fabric has cuts all in the sides and the cushions are going thin and flat, though are still very comfortable. Marker and crayon -drawn by yours truly- decorate the armrests as well as the kicked thin foots boards, while old crackers and stale dog urine scent the decor.
Let's just say that was the couch my mom had kept since I was four...
Annabeth is insisting it is too eyesore as well as nose to keep in her home, and she's trying to force me to take it to the dump. Not going to happen.
So you know how I solved the problem? I took Bob and pushed him right down the stairs from our third floor apartment and into the shared backyard right by the greenroom.
Minutes ago, I stood over Bob, looking down at her in awe, knowing that at least she appreciates what I give her as well as her surroundings. She likes it here, I thought to myself as I pat her armrest.
Now, however, I am met by a fuming girlfriend and a nice fist to the shoulder. "That is soooooooo tacky! Go get rid of it or I'm going to set it on fire with hairspray and a light. Go. Now," she orders, jabbing a finger towards the stairs I had just finished climbing. Is it that time of month again?
"Well someone has something against her," I mutter, rolling my eyes at Annabeth's rare stupidity. How could call her an it?
"Her? Oh my freaking gosh! You are called it a 'her' now? What? You've lost it," she bellows, face-palming in the process. She has just earned another eye-roll.
"Yeah, lost it to Bob," I smile mischievously, the obvious profanity slipping with every word. What? I'm a guy, cut me some slack.
"Perseus Jackson, I swear, your jokes are anything but funny." That is the end of my attention span, that's where I tune out.
Bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla
Bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla
Bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla
Bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla
"You're so stupid sometimes! Someone's going to come and put a freaking sign on our door saying we blinded their poor child with our couch," I hear Annabeth yell melodramatically.
I guess I just won the tacky award
I don't know how I did it
So I'm gonna call it a touchdown
I'm not gonna wear a frown
"Annabeth oh Annabeth, you're just jealous," I say smugly, slipping my thumbs into my pockets. It's sad really, how she can go from such an amazing girl so someone who's jealous of my couch... well, I'd be jealous of Bob too.
"JEALOUS? PERCY YOU ARE BEING SO RIDICULOUS,"she screams as she smacks my arm lightly before continuing, "GO GET A NEW COUCH!"
Sure, Annabeth is kind of scary, but I am not giving into this one. I'm not going to get a new couch, I'm not being ridiculous, I'm not being stupid or any other thing she may have said while I wasn't listening. In fact, she's being ridiculous in my opinion. I am going to start standing up to her, starting now.
I shake my head no, removing my smug look and fixing in a death glare. "I am going to kill you in your sleep," Annabeth hisses.
"I'm going to go sleep with Bob tonight. Goodbye Annabeth," I call as I make my way down the stairs as quickly as I can, hoping to escape any objects that may be thrown at me. Himph, Bob is better than any bed anyway.
I got a brand new attitude
And I'm gonna wear it tonight
I'm gonna not get a new couch
I wanna sleep tonight
"PERCY! GET THE $$ BACK UP HERE!"
Bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla
I wanna sleep tonight
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
I wanna sleep tonight
Deal with it Annabeth, deal with it.
So, so what, I have a couch,
in my backyard and don't give a damn
And guess what, I'm havin' more fun
And now that it's begun, I'm gonna party tonight
"Bob, we're gonna party hard, with our Sprite and other caffeinated sodas. I'm talking wild party!"
I'm alright, I'm just fine and you're a fool
So, so what, I have a couch
I have a couch in my backyard and don't give a damn
"GET YOUR %#$ BACK UP HERE THIS INSTANT!"
I run over to to the soda machine, Annabeth's wallet in hand -I had it from earlier when we were moving stuff-, and grab a huge wad of ten dollar bills, a smirk playing on my lips. Mwahaha!
After buying out the whole soda machine of every caffeinated sodas, something hits me. I don't have anyway of carrying them.
I rush up to the second floor and to the housekeeping closet, grabbing the closest trash bag in sight. I bag every soda hurriedly after rushing back downstairs, and sprint outside to my lovely Bob, lugging the bag on my back.
*One Minute Later*
While throwing the empty can of my third Dr Pepper into the nearby trashbin, I jump up and on Bob, hair flying in every direction. I can practically hear the joy coming out of her rusty springs.
The coushins fell off of the couch
And fell into the mudd
I guess I shouldn't jump on it
But it's just way too much fun
"NOW THIS IS WHAT I CALL A PARTY B%$CH! YEAH GIRL, WE'RE PARTY ANIMALS," I yell to the window of my apartment as I continuously bounce up and down. I discard of my tenth soda can, laughing evilly in the process. Caffeine does this to me.
"BEST PARTY EVER!"
What if they talk about it on the radio?
Somebody's gonna die
I'm gonna get in trouble
My coushins are about to thigh high
"You son of a *BEEP*! I'm going to kill you! You're going to regret this!" Annabeth says threw the open window. I feel sorry for any nearby children.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
I wanna sleep tonight
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
Yeah, I'm gonna sleep tonight
"Get a lives kids," I hear a random citizen scream from the other side of the building. Eff you.
So, so what, I have a couch
In my backyard and I don't give a damn
And guess what, I'm havin' more fun
And now that it's begun, I'm gonna party tonight
Annabeth- "You're going to regret this! You'll be sorry!"
I'm alright, I'm just fine and you're a fool
So, so what, I have a couch
In my backyard and don't a damn
I now notice a crowd is gathering around the fence and building, watching the scene go down. Wow, this is a better party than I'd thought it'd be.
I party here, I party there
I jump up and down while people stare
I pushed it out, right in the back
I party here and people stare
"Annabeth, go to Hades with your decaffeinated soda!"
So, so what, I have a couch
In my backyard and don't give a damn
And guess what, I'm havin' more fun
And now that it's begun, I'm gonna party tonight
I'm alright, I'm just fine and you're a fool
"Percy, what the heck is going on?" Grover, that had to of been Grover. He was supposed to be helping us move in today.
"I'm partying dude!"
So, so what, I have a couch
In my backyard and don't a damn
I'm alright, I'm just fine and you're a fool
I can hear the window slam shut and stomping coming down the stairs as I chug down my fortieth soda. Why haven't I had to pee yet?
"Ok, fine, whatever, stay outside as long as you want," Annabeth calls as she rushes down the stairs. She shoots me a quick glare before switching to an evil smirk. WTF?
Soon, there she is, jumping right beside me, chugging down her tenth caffeinated soda. That's my girl!
So, so what, I have a couch
In my backyard and don't give a damn
We partied all night long, even after the soda was gone, just jumping up and down while singing like maniacs about Bob. It was the best party ever, but not because of Bob, or because of the soda. Not even because I was featured on the news that night! But because I got to party hard with my best friend and the love of my life... with caffeinated soda.
Bob is still in her home to this day...
