Real

Written by Reincarnated Rat

Disclaimer: Invader Zim is copy written to Jhonen Vasquez

Prologue

Zim walked down a stark white hall. He was wearing the uniform of this institution, also a shade of white like the walls, but more of a dusty, used white that was slowly turning gray. His shoulders were box like, with similar patterns around his chest and abdomen. A helmet was strapped onto his head with a thin piece of leather and sported the same smiley on the front as the rest of the garment. He donned a pair of dark gray gloves that matched the rest of the skin tight clothes under the box-like armor.

Holding firmly onto his well-built wall of confidence, Zim recounted the room number he was looking for. Room 334. Such an ordinary number, nothing suspicious about it. He didn't know who was behind the door. Someone who'd pissed his employer off, to be sure. Someone with a big name too, because he'd paid Zim a lot of money as an advance for offing this human. He'd wanted to see this person's head on a platter just for the knowledge that there was no way he'd be coming back, too. It was just part of this job to not know who he'd be assassinating today. He knew the location and the room number the person was in. The name was kept confidential. His employer attempted to threaten him with the death of his career, but there wasn't much these humans could do to threaten him with their protector out of the picture, short of blowing his base and space station up. He was pretty sure they didn't know about those though.

Chapter One, A Renowned Assassin

He stepped up to the door and looked through the window. All he could see was someone sleeping gently in a bed with the covers over their head. With the key card he'd swiped from the nurses' locker room, he opened the door silently. There was a barred window opposite of the door, a chair next to the window and a bookshelf the had three shelves, but only held, maybe, ten books on it.

Not bothering to be interested in these things any longer, Zim made it way quickly to the bedside of this human. If he had any luck this person was one of the smarter this planet had to offer and had just admitted themselves to The Crazy House for Boys for safe keeping. This was be a great opportunity to take another human that had potential out of the picture. That's one of the added benefits of the profession he'd take up.

It was daytime, but the human was sleeping. Perhaps he was one of those humans that liked sleeping during the day instead of the night, despite their natural desire to be awake during the day because of their ancestral heritage of being prey. Or perhaps the doctors just drugged him up, because he was making a fuss or something... Hmm.

Zim pulled a small bag out from his pak and set it beside on the table next to the bed. He assembled a few small vials of clear liquids and a needle for each of them. He would administer several different drugs to the human and make it's heart explode like it had too many joyful dances with fireworks. It'd look like his heart exploded with joy. After that, he'd play his violent part of the deal and cut it's head off while it's blood was still pumping enough to squirt everywhere! Zim grinned at the idea and nodded a little in agreement with himself that this was a wonderful idea.

Needles were filled and everything was set.

Curiosity , killing the cat again and getting the better of him, Zim looked at the human with the blankets still pulled over it's head. Everything was set to go, but he wanted to see a little information on this human's condition before he did the deed. Walking to the end of the bed, he pulled a clipboard off the hook and hoop tape that stuck it to the bed. From the top it read –

'Jonli Doe

Age: 26

Sex: Male

Ward of Dr. Craft'

Zim skimmed down past all that information to the juicy stuff and read the diagnosis.

'Major Depression Disorder, anxiety, insanity due to neglect as a child and abusive relationships at school, often suffers sudden and sever migraines and optical illusion.

'Notes: The person who submitted Jonli to us requested to remain anonymous. We were able to determine that he suffered from MDD and anxiety three days after he arrived and have him on anti-depressants.

'Two weeks – There is no record of family history and Jonli continues to refuse to talk about his past.

'Three weeks after arrival – I've discovered he obsessed with finding his childhood friend, likes to throw up his medications and suffers from optical migraines. I believe his optical migraines are an imaginary symptom he's created from his illusion of his childhood friend hurting him. Childhood friend has yet to be named.

Four weeks – Jonli has decided to sleep during the day and stares out his window all night. He seems to be waiting for-'

Zim paused in his reading and glanced over at the human still sleeping under the covers. "Damn. You're really messed up in the head human. You must have brain worms..." He said loudly, not worried about being discovered. He continued reading, but skipped down to the bottom. There sure was a lot on this human.

'Six months – All treatments so far haven't shown to be serviceable. Jonli is still losing weight at a noticeable rate, despite the fact that he seems to eat everything he'd given. It's inexplicable why nutrients are not being absorbed properly. In my personal opinion, as a doctor and a father, he suffers from severe loneliness, but rejects any attention given to him. Though he's lost weight since he's arrive, Jonli is very resilient to any affects this is having on his body. I'm surprised.'

After Zim finished reading, he wondered how anyone could find a threat from this insane human. He didn't look like he was getting up to kill anyone or take over their company any time soon. And as Zim looked over the human's body he could see that he was rather slim, much too slim, especially when compared to the fat humans that walked to streets of very day life.

Time to see what this wretched human looked like and then off him like all the rest. Zim snickered softly at the thought of all the blood. That was another benefit of the job. Most of the time he's employers liked blood at the scene of the hit, too.

Zim pulled the blankets back gently, not wanting to be rough enough to wake the unstable human. For all he knew this 'Jonli' person liked to scream at people. At first he had to do a double take, but for sure, as sure as his pounding squeedly-spooch, he knew this human. Zim's eyes widened.

"Fuck!" He screamed and pulled back harshly. Turning around, he paced to the other side of the room and turned around again, looking and at the human that stirred at the sound his visitor's displeasure. "Irk damn it! Damn it, damn it, damn it!" Zim reeled in his anger and took it out on one of the bed's four legs. The bed shifted and tosseled the human in his blankets, making him slide with the force of the moving bed. The bed only moved a short inch, but it jutted and bounce against the back wall then turned at a slight angle. Zim froze and held his breath, unblinking.

The human was now very clearly identifiable by his black hair that looked thin from being harshly tamed with a brush, but stuck up at odd angles from sleeping. He squirmed around in his bed and turned around, heavily hitting the bed with one of his fists. Groaning loudly, he sat there for a moment.

When Zim thought he'd gone quiet again he took a breath and relaxed his stance. He walked across the room and stopped by the bed stand. Damn it. This wasn't something he wanted to do. He glared down at his tools of death with his own death. Zim jumped again as a heavy breath come from beside him.

With another groan, the human spoke with clenched eyes, "What are you going to give me now?" Whining, he brought his arms to curl in front of his face and curled into a ball. The blankets slipped over his shoulders and revealed a white, short sleeved shirt that looked like one of many mass produced for the institution's use.

Zim's throat clenched. No other time more than now had he ever wished to be anywhere else but here. "Ah..." He stuttered out for a moment, finding this really hard to do all of a sudden. "It's a new drug called..." He searched his pak for any name of a drug, hoping it'd be a good one and that the human wouldn't know what it was, despite who he was and his family history, "Phenylalanine." Yes, that sounded deadly. "It'll help you sleep."

The human didn't say anything to that, but Zim could see that wasn't the right answer. Letting his arms down, the human looked up at Zim with disbelieving eyes and glared at him after a moment when he saw who he was. "You're going to give me an amino acid to help me sleep?"

Zim felt a flicker panic fill his squeedly-spooch and slowly let his hand slide toward a needle full of a deadly amount of sedative. He was hesitant to use the needle, but if he needed to defend his squeedly-spooch from dissection, so be it...

"Who are you?" He paused, "And what are you doing in my room?!?" He sat up quickly and scooted across he bed and over the end of it. Yelping, he tipped over the edge and landed on his shoulders. His body slumped down with the excess energy from the fall and he just sat there whining.

Silence passed over them heavily for the next minute while neither of them wanted to move. Zim, because he didn't want to provoke the insane human. And the human because he was in too much pain and embarrassment. Finally, when neither of them decided to move, a buzzing sound come from inside Zim's pant pocket.

Zim eyed the human for a moment, seeing him squirm a little and knowing he was okay after that. He stuck his three long fingers into his pocket and pulled out a cell phone. Such primitive, human devices, but necessary to communicate with his human employers.

"What do you want?" He hissed and glared at the air. There was a pause as he listened to the device for a moment. "What?!? You dare accuse me of being incompetent!" Pause. "No! No, I am going to do the job." Pause. "I don't care what it looks like!" In a fit of rage Zim pulled out a laser from his pak and blew up the camera on the ceiling. "Argh!" Then he slapped the cell phone closed and placed it back in his pocket.

While Zim was distracted the human managed to stand up and was holding his arms out in front of him. Though, his legs were shaking like wouldn't hold him up for long. Glaring hard, even so, "Who are you?" He repeated with twice as much heat.

Zim looked back at the human, his rage slipping away quickly at the sight of him. He looked even skinny now, standing and shaking like an old dog, then he did under the cover of thick blankets. Then he glanced at the needle that moved slightly from his fingers grazing it when he answered his phone. Grinding his teeth together and frowning at the tool of medicine.

Eying the human's swaying form, Zim shuddered. His arms were slowly falling as if they were attempting to hold up a heavy weight, legs no better than their counterparts, and torso leaner then should have been allowed. He didn't want to look into those eyes, so afraid of what he's see, yet assuming what was there before he even looked at them. He knew what they looked like...

Golden brown eyes shimmered with life. He stared incredulously at the other across the room and watched as his hand skimmed over the medical equipment on his bedside table. He just noticed it now, but those didn't look like normal medications of this asylum. Though, he knew his condition. His eyes still lit with defiance even if he couldn't fight back very much.

Just then, coming to a decision, Zim grabbed one of the needles, making sure it was the one which would cause the least amount of harm. Holding it with two hands, keeping an eye on both it and the human on the other side of the bed, he pushed any air bubbles out.

"It's been a little while, hasn't it, Earth-Monkey."

Brown eyes glared accusingly.

"I'd say I've been done a rather nice job of assimilating in with the humans." He flicked the tip of the needle, just to be sure there was no air in it. "I even found myself the perfect job."

The human took a step back and stumbled. He had to place a hand on the wall to balance himself. "Who are you?" He breathed out with a hiss.

"You really must have the brain worms to forget how awesome I am..." Zim took a few steps around the bed and stood in front of the human's stumped form. The shaky, frailness of his body made Zim's stomach twist in disgust. "Agh, what have they done to you...?"

He just watched at his arm was lifted up gently. As the needle was held close to his skin his eyes flickered between it and the asylum worker. What was he doing? Just waiting for whatever they decided to do to him to come? "Uh, Ahuhn..." He struggled, making a lame attempt pulling his arm away.

"Really now..." Zim said in a low, frustrated voice, "Why make this hard on both of us."

"No. I don't want it." The human said, voice weaker than it sounded before, but still holding the same amount of resistance.

"Hmm." Zim glared down at the horrible, sniveling little human worm, thing. "There really isn't much left of you, is there. Just accept the mercy given to you by Zim!" He pushed the needle closer, holding the arm still with a tighter hold.

"Ehh! Uheh... no." He struggled harder and twisted under the pressure. "Stop." He spoke in broken whispers. It was the new drugs the doctors were trying with him. They sapped his energy during his sleeping hours so he could continue attempting to absor the nutrients they provided him. He hadn't yet had the chance to tell them it wasn't working like it was supposed to.

Zim stopped and pulled the needle away. He stared into the human's brown eyes as though he were looking for something. "Hmm..." After another moment, he released his hold on the human's arm and backed away. "Okay." He said with a glare, not understanding completely what he was doing.

Slumping down completely, finally giving into his lack of energy, the human sat on the floor. His back pressed against the wall and palms against the floor, holding his torso up. "Who are you?" He asked, once again, this time sounding tired and confused.

Raising an eyebrow at the human's odd behavior, Zim wondered for a moment. He glanced down at this attire, forgetting what he looked like until at then. His mouth formed an understanding 'O' shape, "Oooh. Yes, well that might not have helped your case much at all." He said with a little amusement. He fiddled with a few things on a contraption attached to his arm and smirked at the result. The box-like costume he'd been wearing flickered and disappeared. Dark, imperfect brown skin turned into green skin, along with it disappeared the fleshy appendages – ears and nose. Antennae stuck up proud and alert. In place of the costume were alien clothes that looked like they tried to merge with the humans – loose knit, striped red and pink shirt tucked under black spandex pants that dawned a heavy, black leather belt with quarter inch spikes on them. He wore the same black gloves as he had all those years ago.

Staring blankly, the human sat there for a moment as he watched the stranger smirk at him with sharp, zipper like teeth. His heart pounded blood through him at an alarming rate, but he just sat there, feeling time move very slowly for him. Then suddenly, after a minute of staring and finally registering that grin, his eyes widened and his lungs stopped. His last breath came out as a short croaking sound.

Zim frowned down at the man sitting on the floor, just staring at him. There was no recognition in those eyes. He must really be drugged up to not see it was Zim, the alien sent to Earth in exile, but thinking he was supposed to take over the planet of dirt and primates. True, it had been six years, but that was nothing. Zim was about to see his hundredth anniversary in a couple months...

He pushed his hands against the floor and scooted back, only to press further into the wall. His lungs started back up after a moment, but only to start hyperventilating. Shaking his head side to side, he refused to acknowledge the information being feed to him now and babbled almost incoherently "No... Myay, shi-! Ba, bah, bah, bah, bah! Hah, No, no, no, no! He-! Zi-Nooo!" And continued like this, whining almost and voice becoming louder as he went on. His legs got into the action of pushing him away as well, slowly pushing him up the wall and into a standing position.

Zim just stood there for a moment, mouth gapping and eyes wide with shock. "What?" He didn't exactly expect a response. "What the hell is wrong with you?" He frown over at the human, mouth closing into a tight pressed scowl.

Dib eyes were trained on Zim as he moved his head side to side. He looked for an escape route. There! The window! Disregarding the fact that it was barred and several feet away, closer to Zim and it was to him, he made a daring lung at it. Time slowed down even more. He let his eyes go of Zim and watched as the window came closer into view, reaching his fingers. Then he watched as it moved up the wall and gasped needily at it. He felt nothing with his fingers and slammed hard onto the cold tile floor below. Time sped up again and his face hurt like someone kicked him repeatedly.

"Dib!" Zim yelled in a shocked voice.

Finally his feet moved and he kneeled down next the human. He wasn't moving, but the sounds of pain coming from him were still promising. Grabbing his shoulders, Zim flipped the human over and examined his face. Everything was red and swore, but nothing was broken. "What were you thinking? Strike that, were you even thinking at all?"

Dib's tongue flapped about in his mouth, useless. He tasted copper and knew he bit the flat muscle. "Zuthm..." Said as he eyes rolled about in their sockets. Boy, was he dizzy. And why was there a flashy, light bug flying in his face? "You uthuali go awaay, by now... Doc sayths yous noth real." He muttered to himself with his hurt tongue.

"Oh, Dib..." Zim was worried. This was not how a healthy human was suppose to act. Sure, Dib was in the crazy house for boys, but this was also Dib. He wasn't crazy and they both knew it... At least, he wasn't eight years ago. "Ah, what are we going to do with you here now?" Shuffling around a little, Zim looked around the room. He lifted the relaxed human up and carried him over to the bed. "Shit."

He picked up the needle off the ground and put it with the rest. Packing everything up and away in his pak for disposal later.

It would be time for the nurses to check up on their wards soon. Time was running out to do the job. But then, there could be multiply ways of getting the job done. His employer just wanted Dib to disappear. Or so Zim could assume. He looked over at the human who was slowly starting to come around again. Zim didn't know if he'd start blabbering again, or if he'd actually be sentient.

There was still a mission to accomplish. Setting his mind on his end goal, he began again. He turned to Dib and kneeled down on the bed, one leg still on the ground, ready to get out of there. Shaking Dib's shoulder gently he spoke firmly to him, the same way a human would to a fallen comrade, "Dib... Dib."

"Mmm, what's going on?" Dib groaned and put a hand on his hurting face. "What happened?" He asked as he woke up from a short two minute nap.

"Come on, Dib. I'm going to need you to stay quiet for me. Just for a couple of minutes while I get you out of here." He lifted Dib up by his shoulders and place a hand behind his head for support.

"Huh? Zim?" Dib blinked at the green creature near him. His eyes were hazy and incognative "Okay."

Zim frowned down at the human. This definitely wasn't good. "Good." He moved around and lifted the human off the bed gently, one arm around his shoulders and the other under his knees. His head rested against Zim's own shoulder. "Now remember, no babbling, no talking and certainly no screaming." He looked down at Dib to see the human staring up at him with a silly smile and sparkling eyes.

Zim walked to the door, opened it awkwardly with one hand, just enough to stick his head out and looked both ways. No one. Without waiting to see if anyone was coming around the corning he walked quickly. The heavy boots he wore made loud thudding sounds as he walked, but they were better for kicking people's faces in so the trade off was acceptable – especially when he was on a mission that didn't suddenly become a rescue mission. His antennae flicked up as he listened to someone walking in his direction from around a corner. It was then that he realized he'd forgotten to put his disguise back on. In his head, Zim counted down the seconds he had until that person spotted him. Six seconds. Maybe...

Flicking his eyes around strategically, sparing fractions of a second on each direction, he spotted many hiding places. Some of which were probably more beneficial not to enter than to attempt – mainly other wards' rooms. There was a storage closest conveniently placed a few feet ahead of him, but Zim remembered those were usually locked and if block the lock someone was bound to hear and thus their cover would be lost just as soon as it was achieved. He looked down at Dib and watched him as he just stared up at him like a curious child. Come to think of it, Zim didn't know what kind of drugs the doctors had Dib on, or what kind of reaction he'd have once his system didn't have that drug again. It would be best to not hang around longer than necessary.

There was a door twenty-five feet away and there was a stairway sign on it. Zim made a mad dash for it. He didn't look down at Dib, but he could feel the human's grip tighten around his torso and his legs flop around a little uselessly. He heard a quiet giggle that almost made him look down, but out of the corner of his eye he saw the nurse that had been walking down the hall had now stopped and stared at him dumbly. His efforts, already at full capacity, didn't slow down and he made it to the door the next second. His shoes didn't allow him much room to skid, so he stumbled to a stop and hiked Dib's body up on his shoulder to relieve his arm. Opening the door, he left it ajar and raced up the stairs, two at a time, arm going back around Dib's body again.

Another moment passed and the alarm sounded.

"Shit!" He cursed again.

Up one floor and two more to go until he hits the roof level. Suddenly the hospital body guards flooded the doorway below him. Zim didn't bother looking back at them – he know what it looked like to be followed. Now it was just a race to see who could catch what first. They wanted Zim and his captive. Zim wanted his ship.

Zim stepped onto the platform between the third and fourth floor of the building and got a surprise he most definitely didn't like. Up on the fourth floor guards burst through the doorway and stopped, aiming their pistols at him.

"Freeze!" They all shouted, some overlapping others and sounding a bit like untimed frogs. Four of them ran half way down the stairs and stopped to either point their guns at him or stare in shock.

Zim stopped and glared at them. His arms pulled Dib closer to his body and held him tighter than Dib liked. A light wheeze escaped the human that sounded little like a squeak and Zim loosened his grip. Out of his pak came a small laser, attached to a metallic appendage from his pak – standard issue for all Irken paks – and aimed at the guards.

The guards that were chasing him up the stairs stopped when they caught up to him, but instead of trying to catch him now they froze up and freaked out. About half of them ran back down the stairs, shouting at those, ones behind them, now in front of them, to go back. To run! There's a monster. The braver ones stood there and glared at him – a total of two. The ones that refused to believe there was alien in front of them, stealing one of their patients, held their ground and aimed their guns – a total of four. That left six out of however many there was when they started. Zim didn't spare much thought for them. They were only hired guards after all, getting paid $9.50 an hour and wouldn't chase after an armed alien.

Zim shot at the guards' feet in front of him and opened his pak again. His pak legs extended out and braced themselves on the walls, floor and the handle bar on the side of the stairway. Within seconds he rose to an impressive height, giving the appearance of humanoid spider. He moved quickly on his spider legs, gracefully balancing on the cracks of the wall and handle bar. He moved over the head of the humans, and 'accidently' kicked one of them in the face as he passed. The small laser gun disappeared back into his pak. They moved down the stairs and out of his way, motivated by fear that had already dwendled their numbers and made some of them release their bowels as they just stood there shaking.

Grinning with the small, yet wonderful accomplishment, Zim scaled the last floor in three seconds easily with the help of his spider legs. "Almost to the ship, Dib." In front of him now was the door to the roof.

He stepped down from his pak legs and let them collapse back into his pak. He shifted Dib once again, put one arm over his shoulder and told him to hold on to his neck. With one free hand tried the door handle. It jiggled, but didn't budge from it's locked position. He put his arm back against Dib's back to help hold him again.

"Damnit!" Zim cursed angrily against the door and kicked it. He glared at the door for another moment then turned again. "Hang on tight Dib. We're going though the window." He said through bared, angry teeth. He really didn't remember that door being locked before... Then again, he also remembered landing his ship on the roof then climbing down the wall to get to the main entrance. He never actually went through that door before.

The pak legs came out again and lifted him high. Dib held on tightly to him and giggled shortly. He muttered something, but Zim didn't catch it. Then Zim flung himself at the window half a floor down and turned so his shoulder would take the brunt of the attack. His pak legs did all the work of launching him forward, just like a earthy spider's would, and they folded out smoothly so they wouldn't be damaged upon exiting.

They hit the window, but instead of the expected fallout, Zim's shoulder only cracked the glass and he fell down the floor with a sad splat. The air was knock out of Zim for a second, but he got it back and growled in utter frustration. Growling fiercely, Zim picked himself up off the floor, still holding tight onto Dib. His pak opened again and the standard issue laser came out again. Turning around, keeping his back the stairs going up, not down, so the guards couldn't sneak up on him. Zim aimed the laser at the window and sliced a large circle for him to jump out. The glass fell out and crashed five floors below, shattering loudly.

Just as he was about the jump out the window, he paused and stared blankly for a moment. His back pak legs were ready to jump and grab hold of the building's outside to carry him up to the roof. Then he blinked and gave a heavy sigh as he rolled eyes.

Leaving the window to it's lonely, breeze filled self now, Zim walked back up the stair. His pak legs went back inside their compartment. Once at the top of the stair again, in front of the locked door, Zim pointed the laser weapon at the door. A moment later the lock fell away, smoking and blacken. With a new circular handle on the door, Zim kicked it out with his foot and stepped out into the natural light.

His ship, a larger, custom made voot cruiser, stood ten feet away. It hadn't been touched by anyone since he'd left it there. Zim took a deep breath of relief and walked toward it.

"Zim. This is a fun new game..." Dib said, nodding his head in agreement with himself.. His voice was full of delirium and his eyes looked a little hazy when Zim looked down at the human. He was smiling too. Like they hadn't just escaped the clutches of weak, pathetic guards, but actually playing a child's game.

Zim frowned down at Dib. He was confused by his behavior. It was too different from what he remembered and almost like that of a normal human he'd meet on the streets – stupid and delirious Before he respond though, something jarred their whole escape and almost made him trip over his own feet.

"What do you think you're doing?!" It was his employer and he didn't sound very happy. "You were supposed to dispose of Dib, not take him away and play 'rescue' with him."

Zim turned around and looked at the man. He wore a doctor's uniform and a badge that read 'Dr. Craft.' Zim glared in confusion. He recognized that name as Dib's doctor now. But then, that meant this man lied to him when they'd been introduced.

Dib just about leapt out Zim's arms at the sight of his doctor. He laughed and waved excitedly at the man, clearly not understanding the exchange between Zim and his doctor. "Hey Dr. Craft! Look at me now, I'm playing with Zim again!"