A/N: This is an AU. Blair and Chuck have been married for six years. They have a five year old daughter named Yale. The song is I Didn't Mean To by Heather Headley. It might help to listen to the song as you read it. I own nothing but the storyline. Enjoy.
It's bordering on insanity
So blurred
So unclear
Then suddenly eyes focus and realize
That this man should not be here.
Blair woozily stretched her arms and sat up in her bed. Her head was pounding and any minute now she may just throw up. 'What happened last night?' Blair thought to herself. Blair feels a familiar stranger's hand stoking her back and that's when reality hits. Fear rises inside her as she remembers how he got here.
Chuck hadn't come home last night. Again. He'd been working late nights everyday for the past two weeks, and although Blair didn't suspect infidelity, she did feel neglect. He had promised her he would cut back on work and spend more time with her and Yale. But unsurprisingly something came up and he was at work again. Serena was dealing with her usual life troubles and Yale was at home in bed while Dorota watched over her. Blair was alone so she went to Victrola, which had somehow managed to stay in business, and drank her sorrows away.
"That's not healthy for you," he pointed out, sitting down beside her.
"What are you doing here?" she questioned bitterly as she nursed her scotch. She never used to drink scotch. That was always his drink. But with his recent absence this was the closest thing she could touch that would give her a piece of him she needed.
"I could ask you the same thing," he returned. "My husband and I aren't the happy couple everyone wants to believe we are and I just-" Blair paused.
"Wanted to get away from it all," he finished. "Yeah, me too."
She stared at him intently. She was so lonely, and he wasn't such a bad looking guy. He was actually kind of cute. He smiled at her gently, and she returned a small smile, while taking another shot of scotch. Before she knew any better they were kissing. One thing led to another and the next thing she knew they were in her bedroom. The same bedroom she shared with her husband.
It's funny how there's no remorse in the moment.
He wasn't rough like Chuck would be after a long night of work. He was gentle; he made her feel special again. They hungrily yet gently ripped each other's clothes off and he laid her down onto her bed. His kisses were so soft almost as if there were feelings involved. But she knew better, it was only lust. As he entered her, she could not escape the pleasure she was feeling. No tears would stream down her face tonight.
But they were shedding nonstop now.
But after it's over you wish you could disown it
As you get up to tell the stranger to leave,
The love of your life walks in
And sees…everything.
"Hey," Blair shoves him frantically. "You have to go now. If Chuck finds out—"
"He'll leave," Chuck answered behind her.
"Chuck," Blair gasps.
"How could you?" Chuck demanded. "I gave my heart to you. I work a few late nights to give you everything you and Yale always wanted and this is how you repay me? By sleeping with Humphrey?"
And of all the things that you could've said, what was in your head? And of all the thoughts running through your mind all that you could find
'I didn't mean to'.
And the pain of losing everything comes over you
And all that you can say is that…
"I didn't mean to," Blair responds feebly.
"You didn't mean to?" Chuck shouts as angry tears stream down his face.
"It didn't mean anything," Dan attempted to explain, now fully dressed. "We were both drunk and-"
"You slept with my wife and it didn't mean anything?" Chuck growls. Before he could answer, Chuck punches him in the face instantly breaking his nose. "Now get out of my house," he orders.
Dan holds his bleeding nose and runs to the door. Before he exits he says only four words. "I didn't mean to."
And it's reality now
Pictures of him and your baby
Smashed in broken glass all on the floor
Chuck angrily slams their family photos off the dresser onto the floor. He grabs a suitcase out of their closet and furiously packs everything of his he can grab onto.
"Why are you crying mommy?" Five year old Yale asks standing in the doorway. Her brunette hair is in two perfect pigtails as her chocolate eyes widen with fear at the scene in front of her.
Before she could respond, Chuck walks over to Yale with a suitcase in one hand and grabs her hand in the other. "Mommy doesn't love us anymore," he tells her, salty tears streaming down his face.
And it cuts like a knife but you can't blame him either
You're a mother, you're a wife but you're also a cheater,
Ooh girl, one silly moment of lust
Just cost you everything that you've ever loved.
Blair's heart ripped in half at his words. She quickly followed them down the stairs, pleading urgently with every step. "Please Chuck. We can work this out. I never meant for this to happen. It was an accident." Blair begged. "I didn't-"
Chuck stopped in his tracks and faced her. Anger, pain and sadness were written all over his face as he said, "You didn't mean to right? But you did." Yale looked up at her mother and at such a young age she already know this could be the last time she ever saw her mother again, as the tears poured down the her cheeks, she waved goodbye to her mother. Chuck and Yale walked out the door and out of Blair's life. Forever.
