"HOGWARTS!"
"Excuse me Hat, but which house?" Asked a man in garish robes with a too long beard.
"As I said, Hogwarts."
Underneath this talking hat sat a little boy. Not just in age, but in stature as well. Looking slightly underfed and a bit skittish, this boy was none other than the boy-who-lived Harry Potter. Although he didn't know this before his 11th birthday.
"Um Hat," Harry said as quietly as he could. "Why aren't you putting me in a house?"
"Well Mr. Potter, as I said twice now, Hogwarts is your house."
"What exactly does that mean?" Said the twinkly eyed affront to color coordination.
"Me. Potter exemplifies all 4 founders and what they stood for."
"Impossible! There's no way anyone as foolish as a Gryffindor could have anything in common with a Slytherin." This was scoffed by man who looked like he had fallen in an oil spill while trying to get out of the sun before any color might mar his skin.
"Why does everyone seem to think Godric and Salazar were rivals?" Asked the sorting hat. "In fact they were as close as brothers."
This was met with complete silence, which was short lived as students in red and green on either end of the great hall started shouting obscenities at the hat.
"QUIET" everyone stopped talking and looked at the Gandalf look-alike runner up.
"While this is a pleasant history lesson, maybe we can get back to the sorting and what you mean Hat."
"Of course, as I was saying Mr. Potter exemplifies all the founders, not so much the houses now, but what the founders actually stood for."
"Another arrogant Potter, just what we need." Was said with a tone of derision by the pallid looking man. This was met by the piercing gaze of no less than 5 other professors.
"Where as Mr. Potter does have the bravery Godric so valued," cheering went up from the red clad group, " it is tempered by the wisdom of knowing when to fight and when to avoid a fight. Which is what Godric's real rival Rowena valued above all else." This was met by a more subdued cheering section of blue clad children.
"He also has the ambition to prove he is the best and to desire to be on top of any situation he finds himself in." No cheering this time, just a lot of sneers with the occasional calculating appraisal mixed in from the green contingent.
"Of course this is tempered by the trait valued most by the one person who truly gave Salazar a run for his money in all aspects, this being the ability to work hard in order to achieve his goals as Helga always did."
This almost caused two different riots. One by the yellow trimmed table in joy at hearing their founder praised, and one by the angry green kids at hearing their founder compared to who they considered inferior.
"SILENCE!" This time the call to quiet came from the hat and not the flabbergasted headmaster.
"Godric never promoted foolhardy behavior, and his brashness came from his bluntly honest behavior. Helga didn't believe loyalty should be given freely to just anyone, but rather earned. However, once earned it should take a life altering event to sway that loyalty."
"Rowena didn't want knowledge just for the sake of knowledge, she knew it was a tool to be used for whatever purpose she was currently acting on. And Salazar was never against non-pure bloods. He just didn't feel that it was safe to leave magical s with muggles during a time when the church was prominent in it's attempt to burn out witchcraft. He would be appalled at the backstabbing and downright criminal behavior that currently occurs in his house."
"That being said, Mr. Potter will be the first person sorted into the Hogwarts house in over four centuries."
