A/N Hey guys. So, it's been a while since I started writing again. My English isn't that great so please forgive me for any mistakes. I do love Naruto. I wouldn't go so far as to say it's my favorite thing in the world, as I'm pretty fond of ramen too! Anyway, this scene is taken from episode 126 of Shippuden ( about 13 mins in) after Tsunade and Jiraiya have been out for a drink. The scripts been altered a tiiiiny bit to accommodate for the story.
Oh, by the way, I don't own anything to do with Naruto. Besides a few legal restraints from Kishimoto.
Without further adieu...
"Please come back alive, Jiraiya." A solemn and shaky voice muttered. " If I were to lose you too. Then I, I don't know..."
Tsunade trailed off in deep thought.
"Are you saying you'd cry for me? I'm glad to hear it!" Jiraiya joked, trying to lighten up the atmosphere. "But I doubt it'd be like the time that Dan died, right?" His smile started to fade at the thought of the hurt he witnessed Tsunade go through for all those years.
"You idiot!" Tsunade insulted, the hurt rising in her eyes.
"Say,how about making a bet with me?" Tsunade raised her head, brows furrowed and lips parted in concern. Jiraiya continued. "You gamble everything on me dying. After all, you always lose your bets, isn't that right?"
A painful noise escaped Tsunade, realization that the unthinkable was very much possible sinking in. Shock began to creep into her eyes as the images of Jiraiya leaving her side forever became almost like reality.
"Promise me." Jiraiya stared helplessly at the ground. "If I do actually make it back alive..." The words escaped him, but as he turned to Tsunade, she met his gaze. His words didn't need to be heard, as his eyes said it all. Seconds passed and felt like an eternity. So much emotion passed through both of them in that moment.
Tsunade could feel Jiraiya's love and passion for her. She could see the years of admiration, that, his feelings for her weren't fake or a phase. She could feel the heat of his determination, even after all these years
of rejection.
This man had loved her, truly loved her for years. He had seen her at her strongest, and weakest point. Witnessed her at her best, and been there for her at her worst. All this time had passed, and she had never
really appreciated him for who he was. Loyal, trustworthy. A fine shinobi. But more than that, he was a good friend.
A small gasp escaped her lips as she realized the extent of what Jiraiya was trying to tell her. But more so for the feelings she discovered in that instant. Things she had been denying herself all her life, were now things she wanted.
Jiraiya returned her stare. His sincerity in the words that escaped him evident in his eyes. He had nothing but love for this woman. His only regret was not being able to show her it enough. But this wasn't a time for regrets.
"Hahahaha I'm only kidding Tsunade! You know, I'm grateful to you." He began to pull his famous Icha Icha book from within his garments. "Rejection makes a man stronger! I believe that you can't call yourself a real man unless you can laugh off all the bad stuff that happens to you. Or at least use it as writing material."
"So a man's only job is to be strong?" Tsunade questioned skeptically. Worry and pain still clearly evident in her shaky voice.
"Kind of. But that isn't the entire story." Jiraiya flashed a slightly nervous grin. "Basically, the pursuit of happiness isn't for us."
A smile finally played on Tsunade's lips. "Stop trying to act so cool! If there wasn't any women around, there wouldn't be any rejection." She poured years of blame for rejecting him into that sentence.
"Well, you do have a point there."
The two enjoyed a moment of silence, admiring the sun setting as birds sang softly in the background.
"Now, I really ought to get going." Jiraiya swung his scroll upon his back.
Tsunade grabbed the corner of her coat for comfort, tears began brewing in her eyes. She was never one for showing tears, but this felt like a final goodbye.
Jiraiya took a few step, slow and full of regret. He didn't have much faith in his return, but it was painful enough for him to know this. He couldn't let Tsunade know he felt that way. Not after losing her brother and Dan.
"Jiraiya!"
Jiraiya turned his head, peering at Tsunade, her slightly reddened cheeks tinted orange by the setting sun. The woman he had loved all through out his life. Chased, been rejected by and admired from afar. The one woman he had failed to woo.
"I can't... I can't let you go." Tsunade looked down, hiding the concern in her eyes.
Jiraiya turned to face her, a puzzled expression plagued him.
Tsunade stood up from the bench the two had been sat on. A lone tear dropped from her still hidden face.
Jiraiya watch the tear glisten in the almost set sun as it landed on the ground, soaking the earth. His puzzled face turned into one of comfort.
"Tsunade..." He began, his voice low and calm.
But words escaped him. He had been trying so hard to brush off the what ifs and leave quietly. He didn't want Tsunade to see his fears, but somehow, she had felt those fears herself.
Looking up to meet his gaze, Tsunade's lips trembled. She wrapped her arms around herself, fear clearly in her eyes as her body shivered uncontrollably.
Jiraiya couldn't help but feel a shooting sensation through his body. This was worse than any Genjutsu he'd experienced. It was like someone had thrown a kunai straight through his heart. Seeing Tsunade like this... It made him want to stay. But part of being a Shinobi was to never turn down a mission. It was his duty to discover the mysteries behind the Akatsuki. He had been spying on them for years now. He was so close to finding out their plans, their purpose. He couldn't let the Leaf down now. Not while he was so close. He had to carry on. For the good of the village, but also for Naruto. Nothing would deter him.
Nothing, except one thing.
Before he knew it, he felt a warmth surround him. The painful piercing feeling from the imaginary kunai vanished. For years he had honed his skills. Endured training like no other. Experienced life's ups and downs. But nothing could prepare him for this. It was as if, in an instant, everything he had learnt amounted to nothing.
And what had caused this sensation? He cautiously opened his eyes in fear that his dream wouldn't be reality. That the warm, tingling sensation taking over his body was that of a dream.
Slowly, his vision became clearer. He could see pale skin with deep rosy cheeks. Warm brown orbs, hidden behind long lashes, creeping open. He could feel unsure lips pressing against his. There was one thing that could make him stay, and this was it.
Tsunade backed off. For the first time in years, she had let her guard down and her feelings had come flooding out. She felt vulnerable and Jiraiya could see that.
He took a step closer, the shock of what had just happened, dulling. Ever since he was a kid, he had dreamed of this. He had tried to replace Tsunade with other women, but, nothing could get the thought of her out of his head. His heart belonged to her, but he could never tell her that. Not before at least.
He knew how hard it was for her to let her guard down, and he had the utmost respect for her, but, he just couldn't help...
"Tsunade..." Jiraiya whispered as he took a step closer to her, shock disappearing from his face and being replaced with desire. He slowly brought his hand up and placed it upon her rose-tinted cheek. The warm, gentle touch made Tsunade relax a little.
He stared into her eyes once again. No longer were they filled with fear, nor doubt. They were filled with dreams. Dreams that he had never seen in them before.
The darkness that once plagued her brown eyes, that had dulled her to the world had vanished. And in it's place was a shimmer of light. Light that danced and sparkled. Oh how he'd missed seeing them sparkle!
Tsunade stared back. She could see straight through Jiraiya's eyes, into his heart and soul. She recalled the times she teased and taunted him as kids. How he would show off to her. He was so bold and clumsy! Back
then, she hated how he would chase her!
But now, now she could see how he'd grown. He still had that childish charm and a confidence she envied. But he'd become stronger, wiser. He'd given her the space she wanted. Supported her when she needed it. He was
a true friend. In that moment, she realized all the time she had wasted. Closing herself off from love... The life she could have led!
Sure, she was Hokage. A great feat to accomplish- and one not to be taken lightly. But, there was always something missing in her life. Something that she had tried to fill with Sake and gambling, but to no avail. And
yet, here it was. The thing she had been searching for all this time was right in front of her. Not just love, but Jiraiya's love.
"Jiraiya..." Tsunade choked. "All this time..."
"Better late than never." Jiraiya whispered back. His winning smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
Tsunade looked back down as tears began to form in her eyes. It was like the world had been lifted from her shoulders. For the first time in years, she felt like a woman. A woman who wanted to be loved, cared for.
To have the wall she had built so high broken and know, no matter what, she would have someone to lean on as it crumbled down.
"Don't cry, Tsunade." Jiraiya gently caught the tears escaping her shimmering eyes.
"If you go..."
"If you want me to stay..."
Tsunade's lips parted. A soft gasp escaped her lips. She immediately looked up to meet Jiraiya's gaze.
His eyes burned with a love she had never seen before. This time she was certain. He wasn't just playing around. He wasn't going to shrug it off with a joke. He really meant it. He really wanted her, forever.
"You've no idea..." Her voice was more stable now, as if it was giving into weakness.
Jiraiya's mouth let out an almost incoherent gasp, shock in his eyes. Was Tsunade finally accepting his proposal?
His eyes reflected his thoughts. Tsunade couldn't help but smile.
'Always keeping his cool.' She thought. But she wasn't going to let him
keep it any longer...
The two Sannin, still stood in place, felt like time had stopped.
All these years of friendship, fighting side by side, growing apart, and back together again. It had all led to this moment.
Yet, neither of them could remember how it all began.
The street lights flickered on, one at a time. The setting sun's glow disappearing from the sky as night crept in.
Parent's calls for their children could be heard in the distance. It was dinner time, and Tsunade could feel her stomach aching for food after emptying it from the Sake she drank earlier on in the day.
"Hey, Tsunade..?" Jiraiya dropped his hand from her no longer rose-tinted cheek.
"Yeah...?" Tsunade's reply seemed half attentive, as if her mind was elsewhere.
"How about we... go to my place for something to eat?" Jiraiya's face was serious. His onyx eyes slightly hardened, waiting for the usual rejection.
Tsunade's gaze met his. She saw the fear of rejection in his eyes. Something she'd not seen in a while. But when did she ever look directly at them in the past?
"I'd love to." The sincere warmth in her voice quelled any negative feelings Jiraiya had in that instant. His heart notiecably skipped beats as he tried his hardest not to ruin the moment with his brimming pervy smile.
But, he couldn't take it anymore. "GREAT!" The Pervy Sage boomed out with his signature enthusiasm and goofy grin.
"But don't go getting any ideas!" Tsunade retaliated just as loud. For a moment, they both seemed back to their normal selves.
Jiraiya turned to face the road as Tsunade took a step forward. They both began to walk, the last few moments still fresh in their minds.
"Jiraiya?" Tsunade started. Her voice low, calm, yet full of fear. "Does this mean.."
"That I'm staying?" Jiraiya kept his upbeat tone. He hated to see Tsunade hurt and scared. He would do anything to see her smile. "Well, Tsunade." He raised his hands behind his head, closing one eye and peeking at her with the other. "You did say you wanted me to hang around..."
Tsunade looked at Jiraiya begrudgingly. She'd shown him weakness, and now he was teasing her for it.
"I ONLY SAID IT BECAUSE I WAS THINKING OF NARUTO'S SAKE!"
Jiraiya caught a glance of Tsunade powering up for a monster strength one- hit- KO. But just as he prepared for impact- and saw flash backs of the time she caught him peeping at her in the hot springs, he felt nothing.
Opening one eye, dreading to see what sight might meet him, he became puzzled.
There was Tsunade, a few steps in front of him. Walking as if nothing had happened.
"Jiraiya!" Tsunade turned and placed her hands on her hips. "It's rude to keep a lady waiting- especially the Hokage!"
Completely confused, Jiraiya followed orders and caught up with her.
'Did that just... But she... Seems today is just full of surprises...'
Side by side, the two shinobi walked the empty streets. The sky had turned a deep blue, lit only by the faint glow of the moon. The air was sweet, much sweeter than the two Sannin remembered.
Lights from the houses soon began to diminish as people retired for the night.
How much time had passed?
"Well, we're here!" Jiraiya interrupted the silence.
Neither one could recall the journey home. They were too lost in thought of what had happened, and what could happen.
"So we are." Tsunade was clearly still in deep thought.
She had rarely been to Jiraiya's place before. She could only recall a couple of occasions when she was younger and had called on him for missions. And even then, she only caught a glimpse of what was inside.
Jiraiya opened the door and let himself in.
The room was very scarce. A simple table in the middle of the floor, big enough for two, seating cushions neatly plumped on either side. A candle sat in the centre of the table, barely used. It was clear that Jiraiya hadn't spent much time here. After all, he did spend most of it travelling.
They both removed their shoes as Tsunade took a seat.
Jiraiya made a few hand signs as a spark flew the short distance from where he stood to the candle on the table. It glowed brightly with an intense passion, lighting up the whole room.
It instantly attracted Tsunade's attention, and brought her back down to earth. The things that were going through her mind, Jiraiya could only wonder...
"Here, Tsunade." Jiraiya placed a delicately decorated bottle of Sake in front of her. He figured, after all that had happened tonight, she might need it to help cope.
"Thanks." Not one for taking Sake lightly, she took a swig of the bottle. There was no usual sigh of satisfaction, nor content smile upon her face. Instead, she looked down in confusion at the plain, ink-stained table.
"So this is where you write your books?" Tsunade tried to make conversation. But it was clear from her voice that she was distracted.
"Sometimes..." Jiraiya was trying to keep the tone upbeat. He hated seeing Tsunade like this. It was like she was fighting a war inside. A war that for years had never come to cease. It made his heart ache and yearn for her more. To be in his arms, for him to protect her from all the bad things in life. "But I prefer to do my work on the road."
"Where there's plenty of places to do your 'research'?" Tsunade was clearly teasing Jiraiya, but her voice lacked the enthusiasm the statement deserved.
"Well, when you put it that way..." Suddenly, it struck him why Tsunade was down. "Tsunade, you know.."
"I'm sorry for hitting you so hard that time, Jiraiya." Tsunade took another swing of Sake.
"Hahaha! It's ok Tsunade!" Jiraiya threw his head back whilst laughing his signature laugh. "You know, I kind of deserved it."
"No you didn't..." It seemed nothing could lift her spirits.
"Tsunade" Jiraiya sat down opposite her, eyes fixated on her saddened face. "I'd take that punishment a hundred times over, just to see that beautiful smile on your face again." Jiraiya's sincere tone was so full of warmth, it couldn't help but bring a smile to her face. "In fact!" Jiraiya yelled as he stood from his seat. "I'd take it a million times over to see that ample bosom of yours!" The thought of Tsunade's rather large chest made him instantly drool.
"YOU IDIOT!" This got Tsunade on her feet and back to her normal self in an instant. But before she could power up to repeat the hot spring incident, Jiraiya pulled her off of the table she had leaped on and into his arms.
Tsunade was stunned, not only from his quick reactions, but also from the intense feelings of warmth and comfort she felt in his arms. All of her doubt, worries, walls and fears. They all crumbled down in an instant.
It was as if she was in a field of blossoms in full bloom. The sweet scent filling the air. The sound of the trees swaying in the wind. Petals dancing to the ground. For miles all she could see was clear skies and nature in its most beautiful form.
All seriousness had returned to Jiraiya's face. His eyes were searching for answers. Stroking a stray hair from Tsunade's rose-tinted face, he leaned in to whisper in her ear.
"I'll never let you go, Tsunade."
She gasped at his words. Tears formed in her eyes. Her grip tightened on Jiraiya's clothes. Placing a hand upon her head, he held her closer, knowing what those words would have meant to her.
Years of pain, of holding onto loved ones who had passed. Shutting herself off from the world. It all disappeared. In those moments she had shared with Jiraiya, he had healed the one thing she believed would never heal.
She saw her brother, Nawaki. His signature grin and peace sign, fade into an almost blinding light. Followed by Dan, the sweetest smile she'd ever seen on his face. She knew this was their way of telling her to move on. To let go. To be free.
Hours had passed. Laughter could be heard throughout the room. The two Sannin had told tales of past. Jiraiya, failing to pass Sarutobi Sensei's test. Tsunade's witty remarks.
The candle had started to burn out as well as the supply of Sake. If there was one thing Tsunade could do right, it was drink!
"It's getting late." Jiraiya commented.
"It is." Tsunade gazed at the soon to be dead flame.
"You know, I may be pushing my luck here..." Jiraiya's childlike grin crept onto his face as he rubbed the back of his neck. "But you're welcome to spend the night here." He awaited the solid fist that would accompany his flirtatious comment. But when he looked, Tsunade was simply smiling the most innocent smile he had ever seen.
"I'd love to spend the night."
"Who are you and what have you done with the real Tsunade?!" Jiraiya shouted, eyes popping out of his head as he pointed accusingly at her.
"What do you mean?" Tsunade tilted her head to look even more innocent.
"The real Tsunade would never agree to spend the night!" Jiraiya backed up his thoughts of an imposter by lifting the table to look under it and the surrounding cushions.
"Calm down Jiraiya!" Tsunade added a bit more authority to her voice. This caused him to stop looking and stare her straight in the eye.
Tsunade crossed her arms, a pout of annoyance played on her lips. She was trying really hard here, and he wasn't making it easy for her. "I'll spend the night here, but don't you go getting any ideas!"
Too late, Jiraiya's mind was already racing a hundred miles a second!
Whilst Jiraiya was drooling away, Tsunade stood up, making her way to what she expected to be the bedroom. As soon as she walked in, she yelped in shock.
"Jiraiya!" This snapped him out of his fantasies. "There's only one bed!"
"Oh, yeah... About that..." A slightly sneaky grin began to form on the pervy Sage's face. But before it could fully develop, Tsunade threw a pillow at him.
"You can sleep on the floor!"
Jiraiya played the puppy dog eyes, but knew that he should really respect the Kunoichi's decision. After all, so much had already happened that night.
He placed his hands behind his head as he laid down on the floor. Eyes closed, he began to recap the evenings events. Who would have guessed? He had every intention of travelling to the Hidden Rain to face the Akatsuki leader. But, seeing Tsunade the way she was. Hearing the things she had to say. That changed everything. He wondered what would happen next. Would they just go back to being friends, or would it be more? But that kiss! He clearly meant a lot more to her than just friends. Or was it some ploy to make him stay? After all, she had lost everyone she once cared about.
But if she'd wanted him to stay, surely she'd have just come out with it? It wasn't like Tsunade to play mind games. She was always the forward, confrontational type. He needed to find out, before he fell even deeper.
"Tsunade?" Jiraiya knocked on the bedroom door. "I'm coming in."
"Yes Jiraiya?" Tsunade had made herself quite comfortable in Jiraiya's bed. The sheets hugged her curvaceous figure, whilst one of Jiraiya's kimonos she'd helped herself to was clearly coming loose, revealing her pale skin in places even her revealing attire covered.
Jiraiya became momentarily distracted, but, remembering the seriousness of his thought a few moments earlier, he decided to walk further into the room. He placed his hand on Tsunade's sheet covered leg, and continued to sit down. All the while keeping his eyes on her, a blank expression on his face.
The darkness made it hard to see. But due to the many missions the two had been on, their eyes adjusted easily.
"What's wrong Jiraiya?" Tsunade was keen to get down to business, after all, it had been a long day.
"Are we... Ok?" Jiraiya's question was very vague, but, Tsunade knew exactly what he meant.
"I don't know..." The silence that followed felt like knives cutting into both their hearts.
"Tsunade, I..."
"It's just been so long! I don't know if I can..." Tsunade was cut off by soft lips pressing against hers. Shock was instantly replaced by desire. She closed her eyes and leaned into the kiss. She could feel Jiraiya moving closer to her. The sheets crumpled and revealed more of her borrowed kimono as he carefully laid her down.
His hand behind her head, the other supporting him above her. She felt like she was in a fairy tale. She could feel his heat burning through the sheets. Their lips disconnected and they both panted for breath. Neither one of them broke their gaze.
Tsunade was first to make a move.
She found herself fumbling for his ties, causing astonishment to cross Jiraiya's face. As Tsunade pulled them loose, both Jiraiya's red jacket and green outer garments dropped on the bed. She'd never noticed before, but Jiraiya, despite his age, was very well-defined. A grin crossed his face as he realized what had stopped Tsunade in her tracks. Removing the last garment between her and his bare chest, he grabbed her once wandering hands and recaptured her lips. He could feel her passion burning through, as she fought for control.
Their kisses were full of desire and lust. It was as if years of restraint had all boiled down to this moment. Jiraiya felt Tsunade's efforts to remove his clothes from his bottom half with her feet. And she was succeeding!
Soon enough, she had fought her way on top of him. Jiraiya couldn't hide the perverted grin trying to form on his face, and it was that smile that send Tsunade over the edge. Without hesitation, she launched an assault on his lips, diverting them down Jiraiya's neck and along his collar-bone, he couldn't help but grab Tsunade's back, encouraging her not to stop. The two had longed for this feeling. It was bliss.
Moments passed as the two fought for supremacy Neither one ready to give in. But just as Tsunade claimed control once again, Jiraiya couldn't help but pause for a moment. With a serious look in his eye, he stroked the stray hair from Tsunade's face. "You're beautiful, Tsunade." The words were softly spoken, but that just endeared their meaning.
Tsunade's eyes shimmered with that happiness he hadn't seen for so long until today. She rolled off of him, claiming a truce, and laid her head upon his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, and gazed up at the ceiling. It wasn't long until Tsunade was fast asleep. Jiraiya's melodic breathing sending her into a peaceful slumber. And it wouldn't be long until he joined her. But first, he wanted just one... more... minute... to...
A/N So what do you guys think? I guess there's room for improvement. But, is it worth continuing?
