Introduction
So you want to know my story? I promise you it will be a rough ride, with more downs than ups. The pureblood life isn't all it's cracked up to be, especially when you're a teenage Death Eater starting your sixth year at Hogwarts. I guess I should tell you a little about myself before I relate my crazy... adventure, for lack of a better word. It is absolutely no understatement to say that I was a typical Slytherin - I was good at worming my way out of situations I didn't like, I was manipulative, all my friends were Slytherins, the whole shebang. I was known for being very open, meaning I didn't hide my true self from anyone. I didn't care what people thought of me, and I just happened to fit in with the worst crowd at Hogwarts. I was a bit on the promiscuous side, as are all the older Slytherin girls. I used to be a bit of a drug addict. I always did have a thing for those awesome Muggle drugs. My parents hated me. My friends abused me. My only trustworthy teacher fucked me, and then fucked me over. And that's just getting started...
My life sucks. Then again, compared to some tortured Muggles or starving people in Africa, my life is a fucking tea party. But putting that little detail aside, things are pretty bad for me. I promise you I will relate all the gory, sick, perverted, and crazed moments. I won't leave out anything. It's all here. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Things really didn't start to get out of hand until my fifth year. My best friend Anna Rookwood and I were the most crazed, slutty girls in the school and that's exactly what we were known for. Nothing could stop us, and we were loathed by most students but loved by our fellow Slytherins. We were part of a very tight nit group of Slytherin fifth, sixth, and seventh years, including myself, Anna, our friend Allia Carrow, Slytherin Quidditch Captain Luke Montague, his best friend and leader of our gang Miles Bletchley, fifth years Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, and Millicent Bulstrode, and the rest of the Slytherin Quidditch team which included Adrian Pucey, Chris Warrington (the only sixth year guy in our group), Damien Derrick, and Aaron Bole. Miles refused to let Draco's friends Crabbe and Goyle into our group, to our relief. He only grudgingly allowed Pansy and Millicent to hang out with us, and we tended to ignore them half the time anyway. We all fucked each other, we fought with one another, we experimented with drugs together - we were inseparable and were looked upon by the rest of the school as the worst of the worst. We were all children of or of relation to at least one Death Eater - most of us had Death Eaters for parents. So, naturally, we were raised to hate Muggles and mudbloods, and we all just assumed that one day we would be Death Eaters just like our parents. How to hate was one of the first things we were taught as kids. Equality is a joke. Never trust anyone. Always put yourself first.
We were simply just a messed up group, and we got away with things that we never should have. Sometimes I regret things I did then, and wonder how in the world we managed to get away with some of the things we did. The sky was the limit. Nothing ever held us back. However, things started to go downhill about halfway through my fifth year at Hogwarts. That lifestyle was simply wearing me down, and soon there would be nothing left of me. I was getting way out of hand – as was Anna – and my parents shunned me as I dug myself deeper and deeper into a giant hole. I was skipping class, consuming mass quantities of Muggle alcohol, having unprotected sex, and God only knows what else. I didn't even fully realize what I was doing to myself – I just knew that I couldn't keep doing it or else I was going to end up getting expelled from Hogwarts or something.
So anyway, it was at some point during the middle of my fifth year at Hogwarts when I was at my lowest low that I met Cho Chang, another fifth year, from Ravenclaw. It's a long boring story, believe me, so to sum it up, I owe that girl my life for how she helped me. Without her I never would have discovered my gift – Seeing – and would never have seen the good side. She became my best friend and my hope. She helped me realize that I didn't need my parent's approval to get through life, that I didn't need the dark side to become successful, that there's more to life than filling a role.
I lost my friends, I lost my family, I had nothing but a small bit of hope that I was doing the right thing. And for the rest of the school year, I was more frightened than I had even been in my entire life, but at the same time I was starting to feel happy. I made more friends – non Slytherin ones – and learned to cope with my parents, who continued to let me live in their house for the sake of the family name, but never said more than two words to me at a time. I even managed to pass my O.W.L.s with flying colors at the end of the school year.
All was well, until that summer, when the Dark Lord returned. Against my will, I was branded with the Dark Mark, and took my place as a Death Eater alongside my parents. My hope began to wither again, and when school started I tried everything I could to keep my spirits up. I put on this synthetic mask of happiness, and struggled with my inner fear and rage. But it took over me, and it was indeed out of fear that I submitted and let the inner demons take hold again. I was disgusted with myself, and it caused me to lose touch with Cho, and all my other friends, and anyone who had ever shown compassion towards me.
These new, blooming relationships ended, and the old ones crept back in. The old me, the monster who should be locked up in a cost, returned. Losing hope can really make a person do crazy things...
And so, without further ado, I present you with my inner demons on ink and paper. My worst year, and nearly almost my last year on this Earth– my sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. When a new relationship formed, one with Severus Snape. It would change my life more than the Dark Mark which burned upon my arm did. No one could have predicted this. If it's possible for someone to have the worst and the best time of their life at the same instant, then this year was it for me. I will never forget a minute of it.
To this day, I still believe that if it had not been for what happened between Professor Severus Snape and I, I may have never recovered from my path of darkness.
