TITLE : DEVINE ANGEL
AUTHOR : jumpyjane18
RATING : M
GENRE: Humour/Angst/Romance
WARNING : slash (male/male), character death, language, mature scenes, angst and not-so-funny author's not-so-funny sense of humour.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter because if I did, well, Deathly Hallows would not have had that epilogue. It thoroughly sucked, by the way. So, that is why you can not sue me, plot is mine. I am quite sure that this sort of plot wouldn't come to J.K.R.'s doorstep.
SUMMARY: When Harry Potter is killed after the war by a disgruntled Death Eater, he (Harry Potter) has some not-so-comfortable experiences and finding out that it hadn't been his time to die and as a compensation being made an angel, well, it didn't really suit his wishes. As if all that wasn't enough for one person to go insane, he was given the responsibility of a small boy's care. Of course, Fate being the bitch that she is, the small boy was none other than Scorpius Malfoy! Harry Potter's life…or rather death just got more interesting.
CHAPTER ONE : DEATH AND IT'S HORRENDEOUS SIDE-EFFECTS
"Fate is a cruel bitch!"
"Severus, really…"
"Oh, shut the fuck up, Snape."
"Honestly, Severus, shouldn't you try to control your mouth? You are in heaven, after all."
Harry Potter's mind, which had been quite dead for some time, listened to the exchange with great difficulty. It seemed the mind was foggy, damp and uncomfortable. Then, rethinking it, he frowned. No, there were no foggy, damp and uncomfortable places in one's mind. Slowly, the voices which he had heard with half an ear, made sense. Well, they didn't but at least, he could understand what had been uttered while he was…unconscious. In any case, the name Severus brought Harry to a reality that shouldn't be a reality. Snape was alive? There were other voices that he was sure he recognised but couldn't quite place them. He opened his mouth to ask something but all he could get out was, "Nrrrgh."
"Ah, I see, Potter, you still haven't perfected the art of communication." A snide voice said, a voice which Harry would recognise anywhere. That particular voice had been torturing him for about…oh, half of his life. Harry tried to open his eyes and found much to his horror that someone had stuck them with glue. He couldn't open them! Ugh! He was going to kill George for this, making him unconscious, creating Snape-like sounds and last but not the least, gluing his eyes shut! He growled a little and the result of that was…a sigh. He was sure he heard a sigh. Harry tried to open his eyes again and to his relief, they opened. Sighing a little, he squinted against the bright, bright light. Who the fuck had a bulb this bright? That person was so going to be sued, he thought absently as he tried to find his glasses. He found them tangled in his hair, and as tried to move it, pain shot through his scalp. Shit, the thing was somehow tangled itself so much that it brought pain to his scalp. As if the pain in his back and legs wasn't enough. Perhaps that Snape-like voice was right, Fate was a cruel bitch. He was trying to untangle the damn thing when a soft voice said, "Oh, Harry, let me. Please!"
Harry stiffened, the speaker was one of those who had voiced the opinion that Severus Snape was in heaven. Harry knew that instantly. He felt hands, soft, dainty hands running through his hair. They tugged at his hair and Harry let out a tiny whimper. Was she trying to help him or hurt him? Then, miraculously, his glasses were exactly where they were supposed to be. He could see clearly, and he wished that the first face he saw wasn't that of Snape's. He grimaced and got glared at from the said face. Then, a vision came into Harry's view. The woman was so pretty, with wide mouth, squeaky clean teeth, pale skin, auburn hair and pretty green eyes. They were so like him that for a moment, he wondered if he was looking into a mirror. Then, his mind recapped. Red hair, green eyes, pale skin, wide mouth? "Mum?"
There was a tinkling laugh and it ended in a sob. Horrified that the woman was about to shed tears, he tried to get up as fast as he could. The pain that shot out of his back was nothing to rival the terror that Harry faced. Tears were something Harry could never handle. He had handled Death Eaters, deaths, funerals, society mothers and Molly Weasley but he hadn't learned the trick to stop the tears. He felt acutely uncomfortable and when the woman sniffled, Harry's breath hitched. Oh, God, oh, God! No, please. No. He hadn't realised he had spoken aloud till a very, very familiar voice said, "Don't worry, Harry, it's just temporary. Thank Merlin! Otherwise, this particular part of heaven would be perpetually flooded with Lily's tears."
It was then that Harry saw who the people were. He was surrounded by them and he could name each one of them. There was Snape with a mild glare ready if Harry happened to look at him, beside him stood Dumbledore with that damned twinkle in his eyes. There was his mother, with her green eyes brimming with tears and the man who was trying and failing to console her. With a shock, Harry noted dully that it was his father. Beside James was Sirius and Remus, both were looking at him with smiles on their faces. This was twilight zone, wasn't it? It had to be, no other explanation would make sense. Then, Harry got up and looked at them with wide, slightly confused eyes. "Err…how come you all are here? Didn't you….?" He trailed off, trying to find a delicate way of saying that they were all dead. After all, he didn't want to offend any one of them. Not Snape because Harry still felt him capable of doing something nasty and the rest, well, just because was enough of a reason.
"Oh, Harry! I have waited to see you for so long a time! Of course, I didn't expect to see you for about twenty years or so but I don't mind seeing you now. I do feel that the Parkinson girl should be in hell for what she did to you. Sneaking around and killing my son, not a very good record. I am betting, she would be in hell. Did you know Harry, that Hell isn't a very good place to be?" Harry could only gawk at the woman who was supposed to be his mother. He didn't know about his mother much and suddenly, he felt that it had been better that way. This woman….well, she was unbelievable and her words had had a jarring effect on Harry. Didn't expect to see me for two decades? Parkinson bitch? It was while he was processing what had been said that suddenly his mind clicked and he stiffened. 'Sneaking around and killing my son, not a very good record.' Her son was Harry and if she said that her son was killed then didn't that automatically mean that he, Harry James Potter, was dead? Oh, Merlin! He was dead. How could he be dead? He was not dead, he was having an hallucination. Yes, maybe he had had a Firewhiskey…or maybe two or three bottles of them. That had to be the reason because the other alternative wasn't really attractive and if he was in heaven why was Snape there anyway? He looked at them; all of them wearing some sort of white robe on which there were golden threads weaved in the shape of….goblets? Never mind that. He closed his eyes, rubbed them, opened them. They were still there, standing looking exceptionally good for people who were supposed to be dead. Then he looked down at himself. He was wearing a white robe as well with those goblet thingies on it. He really was dead.
The historian of the heaven noted that the day Harry Potter a.k.a. Angel of Wishes realised that he was dead, the sound of that particular realisation was enough for Hell to notice it. Yes, they were situated quite near to each other. In fact, they shared a wall. But that was not what mattered. What mattered was that after coming to the realisation that he was dead, he did a very un-deadly thing. He screamed. And screamed and screamed till Snape tried to choke him. Of course, then James Potter tried to punch Severus in the stomach and Lily was scolding both of them and Dumbledore was looking at the whole scene with a serene smile and that damn twinkle in his eyes was a little too bright to be healthy. Remus and Sirius, after watching for about a moment, decided that it was a good time to kiss each other silly. After all, what they hadn't been able to do on Earth, well, they could do it in heaven. Of course, after a while, Harry stopped screaming, Snape was forced to stop choking, James looked morose as if he had been a bad boy and he had to stand in a corner (though it should be noted that Harry couldn't see a corner) and Lily looked a little like what she looked in Harry's album. Normal. Remus and Sirius were in a full-snogging session. Harry goggled at them a moment then turned to Dumbledore. "What the hell is happening? Am I seriously dead? Why? Did Pansy kill me? How come I am in heaven?"
"Ah, such an inquisitive child. Well, Harry, you are dead, I am not quite sure of the intent of your murder and that sounds so…strange. Anyway, yes, Pansy Parkinson was the woman who killed you and you are in heaven because you have been a good person on earth. I think I covered all your questions." It was the first time, James had talked to his son and Harry felt that his father's deep, growl-ish voice wasn't what he had imagined. He had imagined a deep, soothing voice but well…okay, he was okay with deep, growl-ish voice. At least it was deep, not squeaky like Pettigrew's. He shook his head with wonder and then, he felt for the first time, free. Free of anything and everything. He didn't have to worry about his job, he didn't have to worry about his rent or his flat or his life or his lunch or Ginny (who had never gotten over her crush and had been pestering him for a long time). Freedom was a wonderful thing and there was a plus to his being dead. He got his parents, Sirius and Remus (who had, thank Merlin, stopped snogging but were making dreamy faces at each other) and Dumbledore. The minus point? Snape. Well, it seemed that there were worse things that could have happened, right?
"So, this is heaven, you say? It isn't particularly scenic, you know? No offence, of course." Harry said, his eyes looking around with an unimpressed expression. And
Snape said, "What did you expect something exotic? We died in U.K. and we would get to see parts of England. We might see London for a while then it would be…Dublin or some other part of it. We don't get to see Paris or Hong-Kong just because we are dead." Harry found a slightly disgruntled note in Snape's voice and was surprised. He hadn't known that Snape would have liked to travel the world. Or seeing exotic places. That was a pleasant surprise and it brightened him enough to ask, "Then we get to see Cornwall? And…and…the sea? I have never seen sea before. It would be fun, don't you think?" But as he said this, he realised that it was so completely ridiculous. He was dead and he was asking Snape hopefully if they would get to see the sea. Then, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked behind him to see Lily with a soft smile on her face. "It's okay, Harry. You just need to get used to being dead and being in heaven. I was baffled too but thankfully, James was already here to help me. Of course, I didn't want James to be here but I was glad that I wasn't the only one who was dead. That wasn't very nice, was it?"
Her puzzled face made Harry stop and smother the snort. Lily, his mother, really was puzzled if she should be glad that she wasn't the only one dying. Apparently, his father wasn't as tactful. He laughed out-loud and said, "Well, Lily, I don't think that it applies as bad in normal cases but rest assured that I was glad to be with you." Then, the most disgusting thing happened. His parents kissed each other, not restrained, polite kisses either. Passionate, heated kisses. Right in front of everyone, and Snape looked like he had something stuck inside throat. Maybe he was chocking, Harry moved near the man and asked, "Are you okay?" The man snapped his attention to Harry and said, "Am I okay? The love of life is battling tongues with my rival of the school life, making abnormal noises and you are asking me if I am okay? You really are dense, Potter." Snape shook his head and walked away from the kissing couple. Only Dumbledore and Harry noticed this as the two couples were still busy with each other. Harry heaved a sigh and looked at Dumbledore. The man was looking decidedly uncomfortable and as if he felt Harry's eyes on him, he indicated that he was leaving. Thinking it was the most prudent thing to do, Harry decided to leave as well but suddenly there was a some loud thundering and a disembodied voice thundered, "IS THERE A MR. HARRY JAMES POTTER HERE? YOU ARE REQUESTED TO MEET THE GUARD AT THE GATES. IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT YOU FOLLOW THIS ORDER IMMEDIATELY."
After hearing this, he asked his now respectably away from each other, parents, where the gates were. James pointed towards north and Harry took off in that direction. Of course, behind him were Lily and James, along with Sirius and Remus. Dumbledore too. Snape came too, just out of curiosity. Had the brat done something here too that the administration needed him immediately. The thought brought a smile to the former potion master's lips though it couldn't be called pleasant under any circumstances. Harry, with his heart in his throat, walked towards north and hoped that he was going to be transferred to Hell. Merlin, that would be Fate being a cruel bitch because Harry suspected Voldemort as well as Bellatrix Black to be there and wouldn't it be fun if he too was there. They would play together. With those rather morbid thoughts, he neared the gate after walking for ten minutes. There stood a man. Well, Harry was quite sure that it was an angel but well, it sounded funny (not in a humorous way) even in his mind so he didn't voice it. The man seemed seven feet tall and with muscles bulging in all the right places. Then there was that costume or Harry supposed they were his daily clothes but to him, they seemed rather….thousand centuries old. The man looked down at him with a grave look and his almost black eyes seemed rather empty. He said, "Which one of you is Mr. Harry James Potter? There is a matter concerning that needs taken care of."
Harry raised his hand in air indicating that he was the one. The guard took one look at him and looked at somewhere above his head. He said, "Mr. Harry James Potter, it is with heavy heart I have to tell you that your death was a mistake." Gasps surrounded the announcement. The man continued without even acknowledging the gasps, "It has been decided that since you died without a proper reason and not at your time, you would given compensation. We can not return you to the living world as a living being but we have elevated you to the position of being an angel. Generally, it's our policy to make people work for being an angel but higher powers decided that you have done enough in your life that you be granted this boon. I must stress that this position would be hard and though there would training, using your head is most important. Don't mix your heart with your project otherwise things have an irritable tendency to become complicated." Ha paused and then, glaring at Harry, he asked, "Is that clear?"
