?
I never thought that it would end like this…my life…well what semblance of a life that I have lived up until this point. I stare out in the approaching darkness and my chest begins to tighten as I realize that this is not the outfit that I would have preferred to go in. I know that I am going to die, the look on his face lets me know that much, but I much rather would have preferred a more peaceful departure in my sleep, or even after a night of binge drinking. He moves forward with the grace of a panther, quick movements and strides that make his body appear fluid like a dark liquid just oozing toward me. The nervous banter that usually plays out in my head begins to dissipate and the empty lonely feeling creeps over my skin in layers of sweat that makes the hairs on my arm stand on end. I say a small prayer to God, I ask him to give me one more chance to do it over, a chance to not go this way, at least not at his hand. Beads of sweat form on my forehead and my long black hair is sticking to my cheeks in clumps. I begin to feel faint, what on earth is he waiting for? I mean just get it over with already. The moon light over head is thick and cast a silver shine on the leaves in the trees surrounding us. His face is angular and his eyes glow a deep jade green almost as if someone poured toxic sludge into his retina. He stops just a few feet from where I am standing. Waiting…waiting….Sweet Jesus what is he waiting for…
His voice is like the softest satin and permeates the air between us, "I can smell the fear and desire in you, why do you fight me." It's a statement not a question. I open my mouth but of course I am so afraid that no sound comes out. Great, my one chance to say something that could turn this around and I am stuck with verbal blockage. "Come to me" ….the words are distant in the background noise that is my heartbeat. "Come to me"….ok if he spoke again his mouth didn't move an inch. WTF! I am getting angry and finally my temper is beginning to rise. "Leave me alone! Get away from me!" Oh great all the things in the world and I say the two oldest standby's. "Come to me child"….
Ok, I know that people in serious distress or as in my case about to die can experience delusions but why do I keep hearing a woman's voice, and why does it sound so familiar. I begin to scan the trees; there is no one around except this demon standing before me. The voice that I keep hearing is not coming from him so where on earth is it coming from. "Come child this way"….I had become so focused on trying to find the sound of the voice that I don't realize that he is beginning to close the short distance between us. Which explains why I didn't even see the next part coming. In one swift move he grabbed my wrist in his hand and with his other hand he reached around my back and pulled me closer to him. His breathe was heated like the hot air from a furnace, singed with the smell of burnt leaves. His hands are like fire but his chest is like ice. Like a huge block of ice, complete with steam as soon as we touch. I gasp as a scream is rising up from my throat. Out of the corner of my eye the silvery light from the moon bends and a blur of lightning fast light zooms by. It throws me to the ground and takes the demon with it, leaving me panting on the floor and scrambling to my feet. My mind says that I should look to make sure that the demon won't come back to follow me, but my heart is pumping straight fear and I am too scared to even think to look any deeper into the trees. I break out in a run. I run back to my semblance of a life and away from the terror that just moments before would have had me.
****
I opened my eyes. Sunlight spilled through my window like a welcomed hand encouraging me from my plush bed. How dare it. My body on the other hand tried very hard not to let me move. I stretched trying to assess the toll that all my anxieties had earned me from the previous night. I finally felt well enough to stand. Unsteadily I made my way to my mirror. My stones t shirt was wrinkled and faded; it's one of my favorite tees. My hair was an unruly mess sticking at odd angles around my head. I grumbled at the image in front of me. Not that I was weird or not the same, but I was more unnerved than I have ever been and that leaves something unexplainable with you. I turn to head toward my bathroom, passing my running sneakers on the floor. I grab my electric toothbrush with the vibrating action and let the buzz of it sooth me a bit, while I turn on the hot water for my shower. My five minutes are up and I put the brush head back in the casing and run the uv cleaner a bit. That toothbrush is one of the best luxuries I allow myself. Not that I don't have many, but we'll get into that later. My bathroom is my sanctuary, most people that say this have no concept of what they speak, I of course do. I step inside and let the steam hit me. The pelting water feels great on my skin and helps ease some of the kinks out. Sunlight oozes in through the high windows in the shower as I reach for my favorite pear scented shower gel. My arm missed and brushes the marble of the shower at an odd angle sending a sharp pain through my arm. I wince and look down blinking the water from my eyes. It's the arm that the demon grabbed last night. There are blue-purple bruises in almost a bracelet pattern where it touched me. Ick, gross much? I am annoyed but still very grateful to God that I have my second chance, so I refuse to allow myself another look at the unsightly mess that my arm is. I lather up and then spend another ten minutes letting the water rain down on me. My mind began to wander, back to before last night to the note that would eventually lead me to that spot in the woods.
My father had just left for London, one of his usual convention type trips, I was hanging out in the library reading one of my trashy novels for fun, my ipod blasting, when Ms. Claire came in. She had her hands on her hips, which usually meant I was in some sort of trouble. She just gave me what I like to call the face. Now the face basically means that you have done something, either you knew about or that you didn't realize you did, but either way it was some sort of trouble. I was still racking my brain when she handed me a letter made from very expensive stationery. Ms. Claire narrowed her eyes at me; I was still fumbling to turn off my ipod with my right hand as I took the letter in my left. My name was scrawled in perfect penmanship across the front.
"What's this?" I asked trying to sound non-committal.
I had no idea who the letter was from but who ever delivered it pissed off Ms. Claire and I certainly wasn't planning on having to stay in because some troll dropped off a note. I began to open that letter.
"Well you tell me. You've been hold up in this study for days now and all of a sudden your getting hand delivered mail. Is there something I need to know" She said.
I frowned, had I really been in here for days?
"Oh I don't know but I know that a few of the people from the theater department mentioned they'd be having a party sometime after our next opening, maybe it's an invite." She kept her gaze on me searching my face for truth as she called it, I must have passed because she hmph'd me and turned on her heels and headed for the door.
I opened the letter and inside was heavy stock stationery with a beautiful script the note read:
I have been watching you, for a long time. I can't seem to get up the nerve to speak to you. I am trying this before I lose my nerve. You know me, I have no doubt about that since we speak everyday, but you haven't gotten to know me. I would ask you out to somewhere more public, but for what I have to share privacy is much better. I know that you like to go running so if you aren't busy, then meet me at Star books café at 6pm tonight.
The weirdest part of this is of course that the note isn't signed.
I gathered my papers up and headed back up the staircase to my room, trying to mull over in my head who this person could be. Mack, one of my idiot guy friends could be playing a prank on me. I never did forgive him for bubble wrapping my laptop that time. Then again it could really be someone. I didn't want to test fate and take a stab at asking Ms. Claire. That would surely end badly for me, but my curiosity was peeked and I had to know who could have dropped the note off.
Stepping into the kitchen the smell of pot roast hit me; Ms. C is a fabulous cook. I carefully sat at one of the benches at the island and tried to gauge her mood.
"Smells wonderful as always? What time is dinner tonight?" I figured if I started with a compliment she could get too mad.
"The same time it always is, nothings changed. Glad you decided to join the land of the living. What's with you lately, you seem distracted." She said.
Who knew what my problem was, heck I didn't know. "Nothing, just trying to decide what I want to do." That was a fair enough statement and as close to the truth as I could get for now.
"Do with what? Your life? School?"
"I'm not sure, I guess that's why I've been distant. I would have loved to talk to dad but he's always hard to handle and mom's not in the best of moods these days." That garnered a long sigh from her. She finally turned around to face me with that warm face
"You know that you can do whatever you put your mind to. Nothing can stop you, that's cause you still have youth on your side." She turned and opened the fridge and pulled out an onion. "I know that its been hard for you with the divorce but you have to realize that is not your fault. Things got really complicated for them, but it doesn't change how much they love you."
Uh oh, we were delving into divorce convo 202 and I didn't want to do that. I would end with me in tears yet again and her having to clean up the mess yet again. I tried to lighten the mood.
"So, are you going to teach me any of those recipes or are you going to keep them all to yourself?" She laughed a hearty laugh almost bending backwards. Shaking her head she stirred the pot some more. "So I guess you still haven't figured out who dropped off that note, huh?" Busted! I could never in all my life put one over on her.
"Pretty much, do you remember who dropped it off?"
"I sure do."
"Can you tell me?"
"I sure can."
"When? The notes pretty cryptic, I wanted to finish this mystery before dinner."
She took a dramatic turn back toward me. I love this woman, she's uber cool.
"Ok, just having some fun with you. It was that boy Matt, lives up the road. He was jogging and said that some guy asked him to drop it off." "Thanks" The cogs in my mind were spinning a mile a minute. Matt's pretty cute so it wouldn't have been too terrible if he was the one to write it, but someone giving it to him was something totally different.
Hoping up from the island, I said my goodbye's promising to be back by dinner. I had to see if I could catch up with Matt before he left. This was going to be lots of fun.
* * * *
I made it to Matt's in less than 15 minutes which was pretty ease since I sprinted. I'm fast on the turns too, but I won't brag about that right now. Matt's maid answered the door
"Hi, is Matt in?"
"Sure Amaris, come in…" She motioned for me to enter the front foyer. I had just stepped when Matt came strolling out from deeper inside the house.
"Hey didn't expect to see you today."
He cute but don't drool. He's cute but don't drool. I had a crush on this guy for awhile but I knew how to stay calm and collected. "H-hi" – Way to stay cool there.
"What brings you by" – Oh nothing just a cryptic note that you dropped off at my place.
"Oh nothing major, I was wondering if you remember the name of the guy that gave you that note to pass to me, today." - At least you sound human again.
* * * *
Dear old Dad had just left for one of his conferences again. I happened to be sitting on the ground in the atrium, taking in the scents of all of my mom's flowers. I was sulking as usual over their divorce. Her words resonating in my ears, "Sweetie, I did the best that could but honestly, he is a hard man and I can't bear to take his insensitivity any more" She said. I was contemplating why it went that way and if I was holding out hope that he would change. We had always been partners in dealing with the hurricane that was my dad. Her leaving made me empty. I'm 18 but all of the preparation she put into it made me pissed. Pissed at him, pissed at her and pissed at myself for not doing more. "He's married to the job" as she put it and very little would change that. I was pretty deep in thought when Ms. Claire walked in. "Jade, are you in here?" Her sweet voice reached through my mental babbling and shook me. "Yeah over here". I stood dusting grit off my jeans. "Hey kiddo, I wanted to know if you're planning on going to register." Oh shit! I had forgotten all about school. Shit again! "Yea, can you get Andre to drive me? I won't be long." I love Ms. M, she has dried so many of my tears and I could always talk to her about anything. Like the time that Tommy Fuenkhausen put gum in my hair or when I had my first crush but was terrified of telling my parents, she guided me and made me feel less stupid for being a teenager. Now, I should tell her what was going on, but she knew too well all the fights and arguments. Knew just how bad things had gotten. "Sure honey, you coming straight back or going out afterwards?" She said. "Nope, I'm not really up for public consumption, I would probably blow today off if I could, but I guess I have to get an education." She smiled at me and gave me a brief, warm fuzzy hug, looking in my eyes knowing all my troubles like the best form of human lie detector on the market. "They have made their choices, you know that right? This is your time to shine. You don't need to save the world, just make it a better place." Now I smiled. She could always bring things into perspective for me. Always there to wipe away my tears, Jesus when did I become such a whimpering mess? I cleared my head, gave her another hug for courage (yeah right) and went for the main house.
Rich kid U, at least that's what I call it. The actual name is Remington University, sits about 45 minutes away from my house. Its beautiful to look at. The great lawn is a plush green littered with spruces and evergreens further back into the landscape. The sun was high as I got out of the SUV, I told Andre to wait for me and slammed the door as I sprinted in the direction of the main office. Rich kid U is set on about 300 acres of historically Indian land. I only accuse them of this because I looked it up, just like the island of Manhattan is built on Indian bones, so is this place. Its one of the more un respectable aspects of this places history, but hey clearly they aren't embarrassed by it otherwise they would have had it erased from the record books.
[I am still very unsure of where I want this story to go, as a disclaimer, she does go off into a separate tangent but I am not totally sure how she gets there or if I want her to have it at all. Thanks for reading and constructive criticism is welcomed.]
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