Disclaimer: I own nothing
Nobody ever pegged me for a diary keeper, which is a good thing I guess since no one would ever think to look for my diary because of that. Renji doesn't even know I keep a diary. Nii-sama always encouraged this habit, but it wasn't one which I was fond of. At least not until I met you.
Someone told me that if you write something down, you're bound to remember it better than if you don't. Of all my memories, you and the time we had together are the ones I wish to remember the most. Thus, this diary.
At first I felt silly, writing in this notebook about feelings which I couldn't even comprehend. I didn't know why I was writing down everything, why it was so important to get every single detail right, why when I reread everything these butterflies got into my stomach and I suddenly felt like smiling just because I was reading what happened that day.
All that time I wondered, and a while back, I thought I understood. I know how fleeting life is, how easy it is for a person no matter how powerful to die, how things that are there one second, can be gone in the next. I wanted to remember the good times with you, the times when I thought I could be just human too, before I had to go back and become the shinigami me, the Kuchiki me the whole time.
At that time, I thought that the diary was for me to be able to remember everything so I could have some color in the black and white world that is the Kuchiki family. At that time, I suppose, that was my point.
Then I started writing about you more. After a point in time, I realized that almost everything about you that I've learned, I wrote down; and what I wrote down, I read and reread until I could quote my words in my sleep. I thought that this was normal, that since you were such a part of my everyday life, it was natural that you would be the thing I wrote about the most. Then I saw that I wrote almost about nothing else. Oh sure there would be some bits about what happened at school that day, or what type of hollow attacked, but otherwise it was all about you.
I overheard some friends talking about their diaries, and I heard that they more often than not wrote the most about the one they liked. Which made me jump to my next assumption: I like you.
It was a weird assumption, but after thinking it through and rereading everything I've written, it was a logical explanation. An explanation which I would never admit outside of this journal. I am a warrior, and warriors have no time for matters of the heart.
You've seen me be a friend to you and everyone else, a warrior when the need arises, a shinigami almost all the time, a girly girl when I have to keep my cover up, but I've never let you see this side of me, a side which I do not think I should ever have.
I've left this diary here, not because I want to forget you, since I know I never will, but so that when you find this, and read this, you'll remember me. Hopefully, you'll read this enough that you'll never forget me. So when the time comes for us to meet again, you'll remember our adventures together and you'll smile at me and treat me like I never left. Like I was always just here, with you, where I want to be. Where I hope you want me to be.
Another one-shot done. Sorry if it sucked, this was kinda rushed.
Anyway, please leave a review. And feel free to point out grammatical errors or anything I spelled wrong.
Thanks!
