Songfic to Christina Aguilera's song, "Hurt". Since the series ended on adultswim, and all the episodes has been aired, I decided to write this. This takes place after Abel "dies", and Esther witnesses his "death". It tore my heart apart seeing her cry, since she is a sweet little angel, the Queen of Albion. Please enjoy.
Hurt
Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today
Was this true? Can this be real? Can it be, that this priest who gave her life new meaning died? With her tears intertwining with the blood of the crusnik, dissipating like a breath in the cold. That was how he was, and that what his name meant. Just a meaningless breath in the cold. She remembered his goofy smile, one that warmed her heart like no other man could. She remembered the time she found him on the floor, moaning and groaning. She rushed to his side, and took his head in her lap. She asked what was wrong, and only found out he was being overly dramatic...as usual. Now as last time, she finds him on the floor, but this time, he won't ever wake up.
I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
She wails on his lifeless body, calling his name repeadedly. The being that snatched his life away, walks right past them, not giving a care in the world what he had done. Every moment went by as if a whip was wounding her back, blood seeding from her tender flesh. She would never forget what had happened...never. His silver hair was entagled in the crimson substance dying it red...
Esther remembered all the times she had spent with him...when he wasn't travelling or on a mission. He took her out for tea at his favorite teahouse. She ordered one lump, and he ordered...well, thirteen. The waitress was new, and gave him a funny look. He just sported his goofy smile, making Esther giggle a bit. When their tea arrived, he stared at her. Whenever she would look at him, he would quickly look away, hiding his face behind the teacup.
Another time, was when he towered over the balcony, overlooking the city. For some reason he was sad. But today, he was very sad. Esther slowly approached him, wanting to find a cure for his sadness. She asked him what was wrong, and he just replied with, "Nothing, just nothing...", and walked away, holding head low.
...but now she knew, and it was all too late to help her beloved.
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there
I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
Esther now weeps by his coffin, the very symbol of death. Candles frame the scene, with their light reminding her what a light to the world he was. She longed to hear him say her name. She longed to be held in his arms. And she longed to kiss him, just one more time. The dance of death waltzed around her, spitting in her face as she cried. Crying for her beloved priest to come back, and comfort her from all harm. She wanted to call his name, and he would answer with a simple, "Yes, Sister Esther?". Even the sound of his breath comforted her...
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss
You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this
As the Queen of Albion, she is the beacon of hope. The Star of Albion. Her responsibilities are great, and the threats of her survival are great. But yime to time, she would alwyas remember her counselor, her mentor, her friend, and her lover: Abel Nightroad. She still remembered how he passed on, and what he had told her many many months before. His words were but a mere whisper to her now, and this hurts her even more. She tried her damnest to remember his voice, that very sound that kept her going. But today, she forgot all but his words.
Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
"...someday, Esther, there will come a time where you will not see me anymore..."
"Father?! No! Don't say that!"
"Aaah, but Esther, it is true. You know it in your very soul..." He says solumnly.
Esther held her head low, as she knew he was right. He holds her head up with the utmost gentleness, and looks deep into her dark blue eyes. "...but that time isn't now..." He whispers before kissing her softly on the lips.
Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back
"Someday, Abel, there will come a time where you will not see me anymore..." Esther whispered lowly to herself as she stood upon an open balcony. It had been nearly five years since his death, and Esther slowly chose to move on with her life. There were times when she would break down and cry her little heart out, but those times lessened as the years went on. Today was the exception; as today was the fifth-year anniversary of Abel's death.
9:21 Esther saw on the nearby clocktower.
The very hour he died. Small streams of tears flow gently down her cheeks as a soft spring raindrop on a rose petal.
"Why did you have to leave us?" She whimpered slowly. "Why did you have to leave me?" She whispered before falling to her knees sobbing terribly.
I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that
I've missed you since you've been away
She knew in her very being that Abel wouldn't want this: to have her think of him night and day, constantly crying over him, and blaming herself for his death.
"I'll always love you, Abel. I just wish you truely knew that..." She cries silently to herself. He wouldn't be there anymore to protect her from harm. Just days ago, a assassination attempt was made at her speech to the Albionian people. By the grace of God she survived...or was it Abel still protecting her?
Esther's sobbing slows, and looks back up at the clocktower: 9:25
The moment she cried over his body before Leon and William parted her from him.
"Why did you leave me like this? Why did you have to leave me?" She whispered to herself once again. She longed to be in his arms again, nestled next to him in the courtship of love. To have his wings sprawled out over them, in a canopy of blackness, only him beside her.
She pressed her forehead against the cold, marbled wall of the balcony, closing her eyes to retain what was left of her composure. But somehow, someway, they will meet again. If not in heaven, if not on earth, then maybe God would allow him to see her one more time. Just one more chance to comfort her, to see her sitting upon the throne; the beacon of hope. Not just for Albion...but the beacon of hope for the rest of the world to witness in these terrifying days.
And slowly, she raises her right hand, presses her lips upon it, and blows it towards heaven, hoping Abel would recieve their last kiss...
Oh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line to try to turn back time
I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself...
By hurting you
