AN: This is written and inspired by a line from my fic "Rescue." To quote: "He was known in Konoha for the occasional display of his Drunken Fist now. It was also known to some that the nights he 'forgot the affect of alcohol on his system' or 'mixed up his drink with someone else's' always coincided with nights he happen to be in the same bar as a gentleman whom had slighted either herself, the weapons master, or the Hyuuga heir."
I decided to take that as a catalyst and weave another oneshot from it. This is the result and perhaps it will lead to more such stories in this "world". Enjoy!
Brawl
By Michaela Will
...
With a wan smile she wiped down her instruments.
"Well, it's all over Ibara-san. You are free to go." The chunin nodded with what was probably meant to be a winsome smile. She only found it annoying; more annoying than Naruto's particularly pleased-with-himself shit-eating grins.
"Thank you Sakura-chan," She resisted the urge to roll her eyes, why, she wasn't even sure. She turned to wash her hands and tensed as she felt him behind her, "Surely you're off your shift now, Sakura-chan. There's this bar around the corner…" She could feel his hand moving towards her tensed shoulders. She gamely grit her teeth and hurriedly moved away to wipe her damp hands on a towel. She turned to him with a hard smile.
"I'm afraid I'm still on shift, Ibara-san. In fact, it looks like my next patient is here," Sakura found herself grateful for the boy's sudden presence in the doorway, "Does Lee-san have another injury from Neji-san?" She turned to him as he blinked, and then quickly responded.
"Ooh! Oh yes, Sakura-san! I _do_ have an injury that my esteemed and most diligent teammate bestowed upon me this afternoon while sparring." The green beast opened up on an inspired diatribe, Ibara's eyes going wide as Lee grasped her hands, towel and all, between his. "If Sakura-san has a few minutes to see to it I would be forever grateful, dear Sakura-san, for your assistance!" Ibara sketched a hasty bow and headed out the door careening down the hall at top speed. Lee continued, raising his voice so he could be heard, "No medic-nin in Konoha is more skillful than yourself with the necessary exceptions of our most esteemed Hokage-sama and Shizune-san! Why, Sakura-san has the wealth of a thousand youthful suns shining forth from her perfect pink head!" She shut the door and Lee stopped. They listened at the door for a moment before bursting into giggles.
"Thank you, Lee-san. I really appreciate that." Lee grinned widely.
"Anything to be of assistance to Sakura-san, but may I ask what I have assisted in?" Sakura shook her head in mute awe before sighing.
"Just… thank you for being such a good patient, Lee-san. With you and my classmates, I forget how bad some of the others can be."
"I see. Did he belittle Sakura-san's skills as a medic, then?" Sakura's mouth tied up in a pursed frown. "I see." Lee continued, a matching frown now marring his face.
"No, no," She sighed, "I don't think he was belittling me. I mean, I don't even know what to call it." Lee's inquisitive eyes were fixed upon her, the picture of perfect attention. "He just…" She stalled and he tilted his head to the side, "It's just…" He titled his head to the other side.
"Argg! That asshole!" She blew, her face turning redder than her hair, "He just wouldn't shut up about what an increeedible ninja he is and how he's gonna be a joooonin this year. As if." Sakura rolled her eyes, "The idiot came in for treatment, but wanted to show off to me that he could do medical jutsu himself; 'anybody can seam a little skin together,'" she mocked in a falsely deep voice, "And then the numbskull does just that! Only that! You know how _dumb_ it is to _only_ seam together the surface skin?! There's _layers_ of tissue in there that need to be mended! Blood vessels, capillaries, sweat glands and, and neurons! You can't just do the surface! Doesn't need a medic my ass…" She stared to cool down while putting the instruments to the side. Then in a fire she slammed them on the counter.
"I practically had to _beg_ to do my damn job and fix what he could have permanently damaged! And _then_ he dropped the tongue depressor on the floor. 'Whoops! I guess you'll have to get that Sakura-chan,'" She mocked again face red with fury while she batted her eyes. Lee made sure he had a few feet of distance and a clear line to the door. "He just wanted me to get it so he could see up my skirt! I shoulda _pounded_ his ass! God, I don't know why I didn't! He'll never walk again if I get my hands on that stinking idiot Ibara…" She fumed, breathed heavily like a snarling bull and knotting up the calipers into scrap metal with her hands.
"Sakura-san…" Lee leaned cautiously forward and dragged the remains of the calipers out of her hands, touching only her hands and moving slowly. "Perhaps it is a good thing that your shift is over and that we are to going celebrate Hinata-san's birthday. The restaurant Shino-san chose is very good and perhaps Sakura-san should have a drink tonight." He leaned a little further in to reach up and touch her shoulder. "You are very tense and some celebrational sake with unknot some muscles." They stared at each other for a moment.
"Thank you, Lee-san. It's good to know _someone_ is watching my back."
"There is nothing to thank me for Sakura-san. After all, I promised to protect you and sometimes we must be protected from ourselves." He nodded sagely, clearly repeating something that Gai had once told him. Sakura just sniggered at the irony.
"Let's go!"
…
Lee was right, it was a good restaurant. They arrived and were immediately greeted by a demure Hinata and silent Shino, who showed them to a room off the side of the restaurant. They were the last of the group to arrive and Sakura plopped gamely on Ino's left in front of the open doorway. Lee sat next to her and it wasn't long before food was trickling out of the kitchen in waves, Kiba teasing Hinata all the while with toasts.
It didn't take Sakura very long to unwind: She was among her very close graduating class and Lee's team and those other eleven people (that still included Sasuke, no manner what anyone else said) she trusted and worked with the most. Only a few were missing due to missions, like Naruto, who was currently in Suna.
"Sa_ku_ra-chaaan!" Sakura, who had been smiling and about to tease Ino when she heard the off-key whine, froze, her hand half-way to her just-refilled daiquiri. She swallowed compulsively as the smile vanished, not turning, grabbed the drink and pulled it to her. The room quieted down far too fast for Sakura's liking. "I know it's you," the voice sung, "Sakura-chaan." She closed her eyes briefly and grit her teeth before turning in her chair.
"Ibara-san." She greeted shortly. Ino turned to Tenten and continued talking, the ambient noise in the room picked up again and Sakura tried to push down the flame of embarrassment written all over her face. "Ibara-san, this is a private party." She clipped quietly. "You need to go."
"I knew tha was you." Ibara ignored her and pointed at her head while bending down at the knees childishly to be on the same height as her. He suddenly reached out and stroked his fingers into her hair. Sakura's fist cocked and she fiercely clamped down on the reflexive coil to slug the guy. She was in public at Hinata's birthday. She pulled away, the shake of her head dislodging his fingers from her hair. "The pink hair, I'd know ya anywhere. When I saw you from the bar I _had_ ta come over." He leaned over her and put his beer on the table next to her. "So how you doing?"
"Ibara-san, this is a _private_ party," she ground out, "You aren't invited." He hung over her, his physical presence creating an overwhelming sense of claustrophobia. She pressed herself back into the table. Again, Sakura bit down the compulsion to shove him out the door. She was in public and she _liked_ Kawamura's restaurant!
"But I'm here with you now, so it's okay, you know the host-girl, dontcha?" Ibara waggled his fingers at Hinata, who looked up, astonished and flustered, beet red. "I don't wanna go, Sakura-chan. Now that your shift's over, I want to take you out. You know you wanta leave this little party."
"No." she shot back, "These are my friends and I want to stay." She stubbornly turned her back to him and reached for her drink.
"Then we'll stay," Ibara said, as if it were perfectly reasonable, "I'll buy you a drink."
"I _have_ a drink," Sakura growled lowly, her pretense of minimal politeness disappearing quickly. She looked for her drink and found it wasn't there anymore. She started to scan the table for it.
"Sakura-chan's too tense," Ibara whined and she stiffened as she felt him reach for her. She felt something else barely brush across her back. After a moment she blinked. The room had gone quiet and the only noise was the ambient chatter from the main restaurant. Ibara wasn't touching her. Sakura looked over her should to see Ibara's thick fingers grasping Lee's forearm, stretched out just behind her shoulders.
"Sakura-san toldya ta go." Lee's head hung down, lolling between his shoulders and then he pulled himself up out of his chair, wobbling upright to look Ibara's in the eye. Lee's cheeks were spotted with red and his head rolled on his shoulders.
"Oh shit!" Tenten burst out, her hands jumping up to cover her outburst, Sakura looked at her and then to where Tenten's gaze fell, the empty daiquiri glass at Lee's seat – her empty daiquiri glass. She watched Lee lean forward beyond balance into Ibara's personal space. "I shink ya shood go now. Your ruining da am... da ammbia... da mood of Hinata-san's birthday pairty." He spoke each word as carefully and deliberately as he could and Ibara let go of his arm and sneered down his nose. Lee righted himself in a rolling motion.
"You're that guy from earlier." Ibara waved at Lee dismissively, "Go away. I'm here wit her now. Pathetic drunk." He mumbled shaking his head. He reached for Sakura again, and then crumbled to the floor as the sharp strike to his solar plexus drove the wind out of him. Slightly rocking, Lee turned and stepped in front of Sakura.
"Your... are not ta touch Sakura-san without her per...mizzion." Lee, leaned right heavily unbalanced and looked at Sakura over his left shoulder. "Sakura-san, doez thisss man ha permishion to touch you?"
"No!" The word burst from her lips. Ino giggled, then sobered as Sakura glared at her. Neji strode forward and grabbed both girls by the elbows, dragging them out of their chairs and back just in time to avoid Ibara's lunge.
Lee rocked his hips out of the way and turned, landing a strike with the back of his arm to Ibara's shoulder blades. Before he could react, Lee twisted his wrist, grasped a handful of Ibara's shirt and yanked sharply, sending him back to the floor behind Lee and further from the girls. Lee looked down as Ibara slowly climbed back to his feet, now wary of the red-faced boy. Sakura moved to step forward and found Neji's arm in her way. He shook his head mutely. Ibara used the back of his forearm to wipe his mouth.
"What's this got ta do with you?" Ibara spat.
"Sakura-san is not in...ter...rested in your attentions. As a man a hoNorr an her friend an pro...tector, I cannot sit by an wa... wa... as you diz regard her wiches." Lee raised his hands in the loose curls of his drunken ready stance. His eyes focused indistinctly somewhere over Ibara's left shoulder.
"Sakura_-san_ is it?" Ibara taunted, lowering into a fighting stance of his own, "Some friend ya must be, if I can be more familiar than you." Lee only narrowed his eyes.
Ibara lunged and Lee twisted out of the way again, raising his leg for an axe kick. As his foot turned for the downward swing, Ibara caught his leg. Lee leaned back and kicked with his supporting leg as his hands reached for the ground. Ibara let go as Lee's other foot struck his chin hard enough for recoil. Ibara stumbled back a few steps and checked his neck's flexibility, before closing again. Lee was newly returned to his feet and crouched low. Sweeping forward he tripped Ibara with his outstretched leg and then stood as the bulky ninja began to fall over him, pushing up. The change in momentum caused Ibara to fly through the air in a springboarded manner, upside-down and…
Hinata squeaked as Kiba swiftly jerked her out of the way. The sound of splintering wood and deconstruction as the ninja flew through the wall ricocheted through the restaurant. The chatter of flotsam resounded in the following silence. One beat, two beats.
"Troublesome." Shikamaru intoned from his seat on the other side of the table.
The thunder of footsteps was followed by the wail of the proprietor as he threw himself into the room. Tenten and Neji quickly caught him between them and turned him straight back out, Neji speaking softly as Tenten winked at Lee over her shoulder and gave him a jovial thumbs-up. Lee grinned stupidly and returned the gesture before heavily returning himself to his seat. Sakura immediately moved beside him and clamped a hand on his wrist in warning. Lee just grinned stupidly to himself, clearly pleased with the results and uninterested in further fighting. Kiba, his smile an odd mix of grim and gleeful, seated Hinata before talking to the servers, some of whom started clearing up the debris and some who scrambled back to the kitchen. Shino stood among the debris, moving slightly to the benefit of the clean-up crew while staring into the dark garden, aided by the large, man-sized hole in the wall.
"Shino-kun?" Hinata asked. Shino returned his attention to the room.
"Just making sure he didn't come back. He's done." Lee slowly let out a breath of relief as did Sakura, slowly sitting beside him and releasing his wrist. Lee popped up almost the moment she was seated.
"Arrre you okay?" He asked her and she nodded, still a bit dazed. Lee nodded and walked around and bowed to Hinata.
"My most sin-," he stumbled forward, catching himself and rocking back, "sincere ap...paal..o-gees, Hinata-san, for startin a fight in yoor birthday. Will you forgive me fo such *hic*" His hand popped up to cover his hiccups, "Such a rude diz...play?" Hinata smiled gently and leaned forward, taking Lee's hand.
"Of course, Lee-san. You were just defending Sakura-chan. We all understand. Besides, Neji-nii-san seems to be taking care of it. But you should probably apologize to Kawamura-san if any of us ever hope to eat here again." She giggled softly. Lee rocked violently to his left, turning Hinata's giggle into a gasp. Sakura found herself rising and putting a hand on Lee's back to steady him.
"Yes, Hinata-san is riight," Lee nodded, wavering around a touch even with support, "but if Hinata-san does not mind, I shink I will wait until… until laterr."
"I think that's wise, Lee-san, now let's sit down for a little longer, okay?" Sakura interjected, although Hinata nodded with agreement, and led him back to his seat. He smiled up at her, not the usual fierce grin of the Green Beast, but a genuine child-like smile of pure happiness. Sakura found herself disarmed.
"Tank you Sakura-san." She saw dessert coming out of the kitchen and reclaimed her seat.
"No, thank you Lee-kun. Although I think Ibara-san has a point; you should call me Sakura-chan I think."
The beatific smile on his face the rest of the night was worth the hard-earned concession. He chatted, fell off his chair making an impressive dent in the floorboards, and giggled drunkenly as Neji, Tenten and everyone else eventually made it back for Hinata's cake. The rest of the evening was uneventful, although a mostly sober Lee was nearly in tears while apologizing profusely to a stunned Kawamura, and offering pay for or help with the repairs.
…
"Now, I think you both may know why I called you in here." Lee and Sakura shared a look while Tsunade drummed her fingers on her desk. Neither said anything. They also steadfastly ignored the other chunin in the room.
"You know," she continued conversationally pick up a page, "This all seems… unusual. First, I have the report from Kawamura of the restaurant. It is a simple statement that Hinata-chan's dinner group put a hole through his wall and offered to make reparation. He is satisfied with the arrangement." She eyed them both, "Thankfully, that solves most of the issue." Lee and Sakura let out a breath each.
"The civilian issue, anyhow." She continued, reaching for and holding up another paper. "This is a complaint against chunin Rock Lee issued by chunin Ibara Shotaro. He's claiming that you violently, and drunkenly – drunkenly, Lee-kun!? – abused his person in a civilian setting without provocation or retaliation." Tsunade raised a tensed fist to forestall Sakura's protest, her eyes sliding to Ibara. "Incidentally, he claimed the site of said abuse was Kawamuras restaurant, who does _not_ mention Ibara-kun at all. And _this_" Tsunade ground out angrily, "is another complaint by Ibara-kun claiming that you, Sakura-chan aggravated an injury and refused to treat him! Since when do we refuse treatment in this village?!" Sakura opened her mouth. Ibara smirked.
"I'M NOT FINISHED." Tsunade yelled. She slammed her hands on the desk. "I expect better of you, both of you! What do you have to say for yourselves?!" They remained silent for a moment longer. "Fine, talk now." Lee cleared his throat.
"Tsunade-sama, I regret to inform you that Ibara-san has not been all truthful in his complaints."
"Oh?" One eyebrow rose. Her sharp, eagle-eyed vision, punctured holes into each of them in turn.
"Yes, Tsunade-sama, you see, I attacked Ibara-san because he wouldn't leave Sakura-chan alone at Kawamura's restaurant. She made it clear she was not interested in his advances and when he did not desist I removed him forcefully. While I agree he did not retaliate successfully, there was most certainly provocation."
"Interesting… Sakura, do you concur? Is this why you refused to treat him?" Sakura crossed her arms and looked out the window, nodding and grumbling.
"I told him Megumi-san was available and I was busy. He still wanted me. I told him I wouldn't treat him if he was the last chance to stop Orochimaru from destroying Konoha, which he wouldn't because he'd be dead in the first attack 'cause his ninjitsu sucks." Ibara glared at her and slight amusement showed on Tsunade's face. "It does!" she defended, "Lee-kun took less than a minute to wipe the floor with him and he ought to consider himself lucky Naruto wasn't there to gut him too. Then he grabbed me so I kicked him." Tsunade's smile was growing, and growing mean.
"I see. How… unfortunate." Her eyes slid to Ibara, who tried to restrain a whimper. "And the accusation of drunkenness, Lee-kun? Have you a reason for that?" Sakura's eyes slid away from the window, curious how this would be answered. Lee had the grace to blush, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment.
"Well, you see, Tsunade-sama… What happened was…"
"Yes?"
"I mixed up Sakura-chan's drink and mine by mistake." Silence.
Tsnuade chuckled, she grabbed the two complaints. "That's good enough for me." She ripped the papers up, "You're excused." Lee and Sakura shared a slight smiled while heading for the door. "Oh no, not you, Ibara-kun." Sakura and Lee stopped, shivering at the depth of menace in Tsunade's voice. She had Ibara by the collar and was dragging him back into her office. "We need to talk about acceptable decorum with my medical staff and the _proper_ uses of a personnel complaint form."
This time, the whimper was fully audible as Tsunade slammed her office door. Sakura and Lee just sniggered before leaving him to his fate.
AN Updated 4-6-09: In response to some comments I have changed Lee's "drunken" language, and fixed a few grammatical/usage errors. Thank you to those who pointed out these issues!
