Faith in a Long Shot
"Kibum! Get down here, your uncle is on the phone!" My mother screamed from the first floor of our small house.
"I'm coming!" I screeched and dove off of my bed. I heard the various magazines that I had been flipping through flutter to the floor but they were already at the back of my mind. The socks on my feet caused me to slide across the carpeted hall in my mad dash to the phone and I crashed into the wall when I reached the top of the stairs but I didn't stop running; nothing else mattered but getting to that phone.
I quickly ran down the stairs and swung around the post at the bottom before dashing into the kitchen and sliding to a stop in front of my mother.
"Stop panting!" She hissed and cradled the phone against her chest. I nervously nodded my head and leaned my back against the cold fridge as she began desperately fanning my face. "He sounds eager about something." She said and gently brushed a stray lock of hair behind me ear.
"Do you think this could be it?" I asked and nervously reached out for the phone.
"I think so." She replied and gave me a reassuring smile as I lifted the phone to me ear.
"Hello?" I asked. My mother stood with her hands clasped tightly over her mouth, her crinkled eyes held hope but fear at the same time.
"Kibum, I have some good news for you." He replied. There was a hint of happiness in his voice, which was a rare thing, but there was still the usual seriousness. "I found the boys to put you with."
I immediately snapped my head up to meet my mother's eyes. Finally, after five years of being carelessly dragged around various groups and pairs, after serving as a backup dancer or vocalist but never being in the spotlight, I was finally getting my chance.
"T-thank you sir." I said and nodded my head at my mom. She let out a small cry and threw her arms around my shoulders to give me a tight hug.
"I'm so proud of you." She whispered.
"Tell your mother that I want you at the office in an hour. We need to discuss the details. This isn't exactly what you dreamed of, Kibum. But it's something." Uncle Youngmin said.
"What do you mean?" I asked as my previous excitement began to dwindle.
"I mean that I don't know if the five of you can pull this off. I'll explain it when you get here." He replied and then closed his phone with a loud snap.
"He says that we need to be at the office in an hour." I whispered and handed the phone to my mom so she could hang it up.
"Well then go get your work clothes on! Oh Lord, your hair is a mess. Change and then meet me in the bathroom in five minutes." She replied and gave me a chaste kiss on the forehead before shoving me in the direction of the stairs.
The next twenty minutes passed in a blur. My mother and I were barely flashes as we dashed around the house. I almost had a panic attack when I couldn't find my dress pants only to have my mother throw them at me as she pulled on her dress. Then my hair decided to throw one of its classic fits and we had to use hair spray just to keep it down. When we finally did make it to the car, we realized that the keys were still in the house and I was wearing the wrong shoes.
By the time we actually got onto the road we had little over a half an hour to get there and I had dissolved into a panting mess of nerves.
"Mom, what if we're late?" I asked and reached forward to turn the AC on high.
"We won't be." She replied but she still pressed harder on the accelerator and weaved in between traffic. "What else did Youngmin say?"
"He said that this isn't what I've always dreamed of but he wouldn't tell me what he meant. He said that he'd explain it when we got there."
"Okay." She breathed. "We can do this. Hand me my phone."
"What are you going to do?" I asked nervously as I pulled her purse off the center console and began looking for the device.
"Nothing for you to worry about, just canceling an appointment." She replied as I handed her the cell.
She quickly pressed the six button and send before holding the phone to her ear; a definite bad sign. She only kept important people on speed dial.
"Hi doctor Nimura." She sighed into the phone a few moments later. "Yeah, I'm really sorry but I'm going to have to cancel my appointment tonight."
I felt myself recoil into my seat guiltily. I was tired of causing so much pain and stress for my mother.
"I know that this is the third time we've rescheduled…I'm sorry it's just that…now come on you know how important this time is for me. Kibum might be getting into a group any day now! Ma'am please don't take that tone with me, I can't control my damn ex-brother in law!" She yelled and slammed her phone closed with a loud snap.
"I'm sorry mom." I whispered when she threw the phone to the car's floor angrily.
"It's not your fault, Kibum." She replied and reached over to squeeze me knee reassuringly. "This is all going to pay off in the end. You are more than worth it."
"I'm still sorry." I said stubbornly and self consciously pushed my lower lip into a pout.
"I know you are; that's why I don't mind doing all of this." She laughed and quickly drove the car towards out exit. Within moments I could see the tops of the city sky scrapers.
"Mom…I don't know what I'm going to do if he calls it off again." I whispered after a few minutes of busy city driving.
"You won't do anything. I'm going to take his slimy toupee and stuff it down his throat." She replied calmly and expertly steered our rundown mini-van into a vacant parking space.
"Only if you let me hold him." I sneered and quickly unbuckled my seat belt.
"Kim Kibum, I do not want my only son speaking like that. Where you learned to think that way I shall never know." She laughed and lightly smacked the back of my head once we had both climbed out of the car and were hurrying along the sidewalk. "But you're right."
Ten minutes later we were running through the electric doors of SM Entertainment. We received a few surprised glances from the various employees wandering about the lobby but we didn't stop to talk. Instead, we rushed towards the elevators, past the numerous wannabe artists littering the walls and past the huge hanging posters of everything I wanted to be one day.
"Kibum!" Jin ae called when the elevator arrived on the eighth floor and its doors slid open. The secretary was seated at her usual desk, placed directly across from us. "I didn't know you were coming in today!" She smiled and jumped out of her chair as my mother and I rushed forward.
"Wasn't planning on it." I breathed and ran up to give her a quick hug before dashing down a long hallway to her left.
"We'll explain later!" My mother called as she dashed after me. "I told you we wouldn't be late." She teased when we reached the ominous door at the end of the hall.
"Mom, I barely call getting here thirty seconds before we're supposed to, being on time." I replied but heaved a sigh of relief none the less. When I had finally gained the courage to do so, I lifted my hand and laid three soft knocks on the door.
"You're late." Youngmin called from inside.
"Actually by my watch we are exactly on time." My mom replied as she opened the door and gently pushed me inside.
"By mine you are one minute late. Don't let it happen again."
"One minute, relax Youngmin. It won't. Just tell us exactly why you called us in today."
"I'm surprised the boy didn't tell you." Youngmin said with raised eyebrows.
"He did. He told me that you think you found the right boys…again. You also said that this isn't what he's always dreamed of and that you'd explain when we got her. So start explaining. I swear Youngmin, if you got my boy's hopes up again…"
"Relax, Hana." My uncle sighed and motioned for us to sit in the two leather chairs across from his desk. "I have one last option that I'm going to try with him."
"What do you mean one last?" I asked timidly.
"I mean, Kibum, that this is your last shot. If this doesn't work…then nothing will." He replied with a hint of disappointment in his voice
"What is it? I'll do anything." I asked desperately. "I've worked so hard."
"I know." He sighed and lifted a small stack of folders off of his desk. "These boys may take you where you want to go…or they might take you down with them." He said and held the stack out to me.
"You're not making any sense, Youngmin." My mother snapped and pulled the files out of his grasp before I could.
"Fine. Give the folders to Kibum and have him open the first one." He replied exasperatedly. When the small stack was placed in my lap, I did as instructed and flipped the cover of the first folder. "That's your leader."
"I still don't understand." I said honestly as I stared at the picture at the top of the page. There was a boy, probably a year or two older than me and he looked absolutely normal. I didn't understand what my uncle was fussing about.
"I don't expect you to. Kibum…everyone that I'm putting you with…this is their last chance as well."
"So basically you're just throwing a bunch of nobodies with my son?" My mother screeched and jumped out of her chair. "Five years Youngmin. We have devoted our lives to this for five years. You promised me that you could get him out there! I trusted you! I went through hell to get him where he is now. I didn't even give up when your brother left me a single parent to raise him."
"Calm down, Hana!" My uncle yelled and jumped out of his chair as well. "They aren't nobodies!"
"Well then why is this their last chance? Why is this Kibum's last chance?"
"Because all of them are screwed up in one way or another." He snapped. I saw the same hurt that I felt flash across my mother's face a moment before she hauled back and slapped my uncle harder than I thought possible.
"Don't you ever call my son screwed up, again."
"He's gay, Hana. He's not exactly what you would call normal."
"Shut up!" I screamed and launched out of my chair angrily. "Both of you sit down and knock it off! Mom, both of us know that Uncle is a jerk and he hates us. Uncle, both of us know that my mom hates your guts. Can we please move past this and explain to me why we're here? Without insulting me if it's not too much trouble."
"You're right, Kibum. I'm sorry." My mom whispered and reached up to wipe a small tear out of her eye. "There's no use in throwing useless insults. He knows how much I hate him, already."
My uncle merely grunted before sinking back into his chair and heaving a heavy sigh; my mother did the same.
"So why is it this boy's last chance as well?" I asked weakly as I fell into my own chair. I quickly flipped the folder open fixed my gaze on the picture at the top of the first page. The boy in it barely looked older than me. He had a round face with full lips and long black hair that barely touched his shoulders. His bangs were grown long and they swept across his right temple without actually falling into small, dark eyes. Overall he looked incredibly awkward but somehow managed to be attractive at the same time; f someone gave me a decent pair of scissors I could give really turn him into something special.
"His name is Lee Jinki. He's roughly two years older than you but you'd never know it. He's a lot lie a lost little boy but dear God he can sing. He would be a better dancer but he's extremely clumsy." Youngmin replied calmly.
"Why would you pick him to my leader then?" I asked as I stared down at the folder nervously.
"Because he's a natural leader, he just doesn't know it yet." He responded and leaned forward to rest his forearms on the edge of his cherry desk. "The day of his audition I saw him fracture his wrist while diving to save another boy that had tripped. He was the only one that did anything. I f it weren't for him, that boy would have fallen down a flight of stairs. When Jinki auditioned his wrist was huge but it didn't affect his performance at all. Kibum, I know talent when I see it and he has a lot of it."
"So what do you want him to do about it? You never called us in to tell us about any of the other boys you paired him with." My mother snapped angrily. I could tell that she was already reaching her boiling point; her fuse was getting shorter and shorter during those years.
"I want him to fully understand the situation before he meets them." Youngmin sighed. "That's why I made those folders, Kibum. I want you to take them home and study them. One month from now you're going to move into a dorm near here and I want you prepared for them…not all of them are going to be willing to accept your help."
"That soon?" My mother asked, her voice suddenly drained of all earlier anger.
"Yes Hana. I just found the final boy a few days ago and I want to move on this as soon as possible rather than drag it out only to find that it won't work."
"Fine. But I swear Youngmin if you got his hopes up again…I'd rather you just tell us now if you're going to call this off."
"I'm not, Hana. If these boys can work together the way I think they will then they'll be great. The youngest of them is an incredible dancer, in all or the auditions I've watched I've never seen someone that young dance so powerfully; but he no self-confidence whatsoever. The second to youngest can rap up a storm. He's going to be tall and he's going to be great but he's shy as hell. He barely talks at all. Then there's Kibum who can rap, sing, and dance but…well you know. Then there's…another boy. He's…angry; he's been in the music business even longer than you, Kibum. He was a trainee in YG until a few weeks ago when they sent him here. They sent us videos from his earlier years and he has a gorgeous voice but he won't use it anymore. He won't open up to anyone. That's why I need you, Kibum. I think you are just what these boys need."
"I thought you thought I was screwed up." I whispered and stared at the folders in my lap in awe.
"I do. You're just as screwed up as I am. If my brother wasn't your father you would probably be a pretty normal kid, but normal is over rated anyway." He replied, reminding me that when he tried me uncle could show that he cared; he just had a special way of showing it. "Now I have a meeting with Yunho in ten minutes."
"We'll get out of your hair then." My mom sighed and quickly lifted herself out of her chair. She gave a curt nod to her brother in law before striding out of the door as fast as she could.
"Kibum, the address of the dorm is inside that first folder along with the key. I wrote notes in each folder…read them carefully. I trust you with this. No matter what your mother thinks I do believe in you. I'm just a grouchy old man that's been let down too many times, even my own brother let me down. He let you down too so I hope you can understand. Just don't turn out like me."
"Thank you." I whispered and slowly rose to my feet. "And don't worry." I said as I walked towards the door. "I won't."
I had just enough time to see him lean down and rest his face in the palms of his hands before I softly closed the door and turned to meet my mother's face.
"What was that about?" She asked irritably.
"Mom, I don't think I'm going to hold him when you stuff his toupee down his throat. Watch maybe, but not hold."
