Playing By Heart

Playing By Heart

Disclaimer: I've said it once and I'll say it again, "These characters are not mine. Though I wish they were, but they're not. These characters belong to Columbia Tri-Star, the WB, and Kevin Williamson."

Author's Note: This piece of fanfic (if you can call it that) was inspired by Kristy Woods' fan art. If you want to take a look at it, it's at www.gurlpages.com/celebs/thefreddiecrazedgurl/pjfanart.html

The sunset was stretched across the Connecticut coastline as Joey Potter was busily capturing the moment in her sketchbook. Covered in SPF 40, she was sitting on the deck of True Love, admiring one of Mother Nature's many creations. "What do have there, Potter?" the captain of the vessel asked. "Are you drawing a picture of your handsome boyfriend's charming good looks and dazzling smile?"

She chortled. "Yeah, well, if you manage to demonstrate some sort of human behavior, I'll let you meet him sometime Witter," she replied teasingly.

"Tsk, tsk. Very harsh, Josephine."

"Did I just hear the name 'Josephine' come out of your mouth? Because, and correct me if I'm wrong, everyone who's called me 'Josephine' never lived to see another day."

"Oh, really? Enlighten me then," he said challengingly. And so, due to her stubborn pride, harmless banter turned into a torturous tickling match.

"You…can't…do…this…Pac-ey!" Joey shouted between breaths. He had her pinned down so hard that she could barely catch her breath. "Okay…okay…I give," she surrendered holding up her hands.

"And once again, the almighty talented Mr. Witter comes out victorious!" he declared.

"Yeah, well, 'Talented Mr. Witter,' you might want to steer this boat of yours a little to the left before we crash into that dock over there," Joey remarked pointing towards shore. He turned around just in time to see his pride and joy narrowly miss hitting the port. "You know, for someone who claims to know how to sail, you really don't know how to steer a boat on the correct course. That was the fifth time you almost hit something. With a record like yours, I'm surprised that this boat is still in one piece."

"Yeah, well, for someone who begged to accompany me on this trip across the 'Seven Seas,' you sure have a big mouth," he retorted.

"Geez, Pacey. And I thought Dawson was uptight."

"Dawson," he muttered angrily under his breath. "Tell me Jo, why does every conversation we have, the name Dawson always comes up? Can it be because of the fact that you're not entirely over him or is it because you regret coming with me – choosing me?"

"Pacey, don't turn this into some melodramatic soap opera. You know we're above it," she stated calmly. "And as for the Dawson thing, it just slipped okay? Force of habit…"

"Force of habit…"

"I didn't mean it like that. I mean, I…uh…"

"Yeah Jo." He tied up the boat and got off.

"How could I have been so careless? Mentioning Dawson's name in a conversation with Pacey? I might've as well have the word idiot plastered across my forehead," thought Joey as she was walking aimlessly around town. "What if he continuously mentioned Andie's name every time we conversed? Wouldn't I feel angry too? I guess his emotional outburst was justifiable. Love hurts sometimes." She stopped herself. "Is it love? I know that I said 'I love you' at the Capeside docks the other day, but was I completely sure? I mean, those were just words. And like Dawson said, 'They're only words, Joey. Just words.'"

"How could I have been so delusional to think that Joey was over Dawson? That in the long run she chose me?" Pacey thought as he was loitering in front of a coffee shop. "Like Andie said, 'She is never going to love you like she loves him. He is her first love, Pacey. Her first love.' Maybe you're right, Andie, I'm never going to measure up." He kicked a rock around. "Typical isn't it? That the sidekick never gets the girl because in the end, the leading man always finds some way of resurfacing and sweeping the girl of her feet. And the sidekick just stands idly by, watching as these events unravel."

It was starting to get dark out and neither Joey nor Pacey have returned to the boat. She was trying to organize her jumbled up feelings and he was moping around pitying his lack of self-awareness. Her distractions got the best of her when she walked right into a homeless person standing on a street corner. "I'm so sorry mister," she apologized.

"No need to be my dear. Everyone has somewhere to go these days. It is people like me who prevent them from reaching those places," he said warmly. She batted her big, brown, Bambi eyes at him and he continued, "You're troubled my dear. And if my instincts serves me right, one of the many men in you life has your head spinning, right?" She nodded dejectedly. "Just trust you heart. Those who think are often those who are the unhappiest of them all. Don't think, dear, feel." He patted her on the shoulder lovingly, as if they were old friends, and dispensed his many pleasantries as she started back to the boat.

"Hey," Pacey greeted as he returned to the boat.

"Hey," Joey replied. An awkward silence bestowed upon them.

"Jo-"

"Pace-"

"You first," she said.

"Jo, for the longest time I have been harboring these unrequited feelings for you. You were the first thing I thought about in the morning, and the last thing I saw at night. When you agreed to go on this trip with me, I thought, 'Just Joey and me and the great blue yonder.' But I never anticipated a third party – Dawson. Reality inevitably sunk in and I realized that you will never care about me the same way I care about you so…"

"That's not true Pacey," she whispered through tears.

"Yes it is. Andie was right. You'll never love me the same way you do Dawson."

"That's not fair Pacey."

"To which one of us? We did not sail 600 miles from Capeside so you could think about Dawson. That's why I think we should head home to your boy adventure. Your confidante, best friend, lover, and…soul mate."

"And you're just so sure of what I feel? Pacey, the shrink who holds the answers to all questions! Well, newsflash, even I don't know exactly what I'm feeling. And do you want to know why? Because I don't understand what is going on. I just know that there is this feeling inside of me that I can't control. It feels right. It makes me feel…tingly and warm and…safe," she paused and stared into his eyes. "You saved me from myself. You were the turning point in my life Pacey, my Northern Star. You rescued that remaining shred of raw happiness inside of my heart and made it flourish – that little girl inside of me that never had the chance to grow up. You made me experience things that I've never experienced before, see things I've never seen before, and feel things that I've never felt before. And that's what made me…"

"Made you what Jo?" he encouraged.

"Made me…fall in love with you." She took out a drawing from her sketchbook. "I was drawing this while we were sailing the other day," she sad and handed him the drawing.

"Joey…" It was a picture of them sailing of into the sunset, just like a picture right out of a fairytale.

"I guess there's no easy way to say this, but I love you. I guess I always have and I was just too blinded to see it."

"Jo…I love you too." They kissed and hugged and basically put on a nauseating display of affection. "Don't get all female on me now, Jo. I don't want to start referring to you as Josephine," he joked as he wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Do you want to be thrown overboard or something, Pace?"

That night as they were about to turn off the lights, Joey wrote in her journal:

Dear Diary,

Today I fell in love.

Love,

Joey