CHAPTER 1: HANGIN' AROUND
Since she herself was crazy, of course all the ideas Edith came up with were crazy (just like yours truly). And one day one of those crazy ideas was her sudden desire to fly.
"Edith, I know I ask you this all the time," Margo said while her middle sister adjusted herself on one of their dad's hang-gliders, wearing goggles and a mahogany scarf in addition to the skirt, leggings, striped sweater, and pink knit hat she always wore. "But are you INSANE?"
Edith furrowed her brow in thought and made the so-so sign with her hand.
Margo groaned in frustration.
While her older sister went to go tell their dad, Edith prepared for takeoff.
"In 5...4...3...2...1!"
And the 7-year-old lifted up off the ground...and promptly crashed into the attic.
"Oops," she said with a lopsided frown.
"EDITH!" came Gru's angry cry three-to-four floors below.
Edith sighed. She was in BIG trouble now.
#
A COUPLE MINUTES LATER...
Edith was sitting on the couch in the living room while her adoptive father paced back and forth, trying to regain his composure.
Margo was listening to Shania Twain on her CD player and reading, the ghost of a sisterly heart attack etched on her face.
"Edith Mildred Gru," her dad finally said, stopping right in front of the 7-year-old tomboy."Just vut on Earth deed you t'ink you vere doing!? You could've gotten hurt!"
And as though he'd forgotten to do it earlier, Gru checked his middle daughter for owies.
Edith smacked his hand away with a roll of her eyes.
"I didn't get hurt, Dad! See?"
She held her hands out for her dad's inspection. Unfortunately for the 7-year-old, there were a couple gashes on her arms from where the crash had cut her, further disgruntling Gru.
Grumbling, the super-villain took the First Aid kit a nonchalant Margo preferred him and sprayed Edith's hands with disinfectant, making the 7-year-old scream and jump.
"OUCH!" she cried. "That hurts!"
"Vell, dat's vut you get ven you do somet'ink dangerous, young lady," Gru chided, now dressing his middle daughter's wounds with gauze. "Vy can't you be more like your leetle seester, Edith? She just seets there and plays and never causes trouble."
Edith scoffed as her dad finished gauzing her hands. "As if! Monster trucks and airplanes are way cooler than unicorns." The 7-year-old stuck her tongue out and said the word as though it were a slimey worm she'd found in her cookie.
Before Gru could answer, a loud BOOM thundered from below, shaking the whole house.
A Minion called Gru on his walkie-talkie, sounding as though he'd just smoked a dozen cigarettes.
"Yeh, Boss? Agnes tsuj welb pu eht bal."
Gru face-palmed.
Edith giggled. "Have fun with your little 'golden girl', Dad."
She made for the back door, but Gru caught her by the sweater.
"Oh, no you don't, meesy! You're grounded!"
And he marched off towards the lab, still carrying the 7-year-old by the sweater.
"Tch," Edith scoffed under her breath, her arms folded. "It's 'cuz I'm blonde, isn't it?"
