Hello everyone! This is the first of (hopefully) 64 chapters of this fic. I'm doing a Spirk-themed 64 theme challenge (I would link it, but this site hates links.) I currently don't have a beta, so if anyone would like to do it I would appreciate it very much :) The chapters will be chronological and loosely connected to each other, starting pre-movie and going weeeeeell past the movie itself. I hope you enjoy this first fic I'm posting here :) reviews, critique and everything else is very appreciated! (Contains Q/Picard if you squint... _)

The title of the story comes from a Queens of the Stone Age song, while this chapter's title comes from the prompt it was written for, "The beginning is the end is the beginning"


He woke from his sleep with a start, the dull ache in his joints harshly reminding him he wasn't the young and mobile dream-self. Spock rubbed his eyes and gingerly got up, sitting on the edge and taking in the view from his window overlooking Romulus' capital, the beauty of the city always brightening his mornings. Jim would love Romulus. He winced as the memories flew by and cursed his eidetic memory as he did every day. The only way to get away from the memory, he found over the years, was to start his day, to drown himself in work. He was surprised by a deep, masculine voice behind him, sounding just a little wistful and more than a little theatrical.

"You really miss him, don't you, Spock?"

He turned his head to the other side of the room where a tall, dark-haired man in flowing crimson robes decorated by heavy golden embroidery was admiring himself in the mirror. His face was calm and his full lips were stretched into a small smile. Irritation flared up in Spock at the sight but he kept his face composed and his voice steady.

"That is none of your business. I'm asking you to leave at once."

A frown passed over the young man's handsome features. "What in the world did I do to deserve such hostility, my dear Spock?"

"You are intruding in my private home and my private life."

The man didn't pay any attention to him and was scowling at his reflection. "Ah, red simply doesn't suit me!"

A bright flash enveloped him for a split-second and his clothes were suddenly changed - he wore black pants and a purple tunic over. He scrutinized his reflection, still looking unhappy with his clothing and repeated the flashing process a few more times until he ended up in a cobalt robe with a turtleneck with patterns Spock recognized as Romulan. Spock's joints were throbbing by now but he couldn't get up and start his day or simply go back to sleep before he got the intruder out of his house. He steeled his voice - the only good approach with this man was establishing authority.

"Q. I have things to do, so if you have something to discuss with me I'd advise you to do it now and return to bothering Captain Picard or whatever it is what you do in your free time."

Q was looking at him now, narrowing his eyes and obviously formulating his response - Spock didn't know what took him so long as he very well knew the depth of his intellect through the many conversations and debates they had. Q smiled.

"Maybe the matter is best discussed over tea?"

Spock didn't have time for his games and did his best to sound apologetic.

"I probably shouldn't strain myself because-"

Before he could finish his sentence, Spock was seated on the small table in what was his kitchen, the simple, undecorated room, the pain gone. Q appeared, seated on the table across him, along with two steaming cups of tea.

"Ah, mon capitan Picard. I thought it would be beneficial for his health to let him rest a bit - my attention, of course, can be overwhelming at times."

Spock was amused but didn't show it. Instead, he leaned forward. "He asked you to leave. Am I correct?"

Q looked outraged for a moment. "That is absolutely irrelevant. But let's get to other matters instead. Remember when I asked you to teach me that mind-meld thing of yours?"

He raised his eyebrows in anticipation, apparently expecting Spock to answer. Spock simply nodded and Q continued. "You said you wouldn't, even after my offers of various things you rejected me heartlessly!"

The man clasped his hands theatrically over where his heart was probably located, looking upwards for a moment, but then raised a hand and grinned. Spock couldn't help but pity such a great intellect being so unrestrained - Q was capable of great things, yet he acted like a little child sometimes.

"But I, being brilliant and omnipotent and all, came up with something that I can give you in return."

Q obviously needed his input again, and even though he was getting tired of the childish antics his strong curiosity had reared its head, so he indulged the man. "And what is that offering that can change my mind?"

Q looked incredibly pleased himself as he played with a spoon in his hands, ultimately bending it absolutely out of shape.

"I can offer you a certain... James T. Kirk. Do you happen to know him?"

Spock's mind took a few seconds to process the information given to him, interpreting every possible meaning but it all boiled down to one. A powerful, omnipotent yet rather treacherous being at times was offering him the one person that left a deep impact on his soul and a gaping hole in his heart. No, this can't be true, he thought. Q was probably just playing with him, putting salt on the ever-aching wound for his own twisted amusement. The picture of the sun-kissed body and brilliant mind forever taken from him and the idea of Q's cruel joke made him physically sick, his vision blurring as the strong nausea clutched his mind. He needed to get away, away...

He knocked the teacup over, spilling its contents and probably breaking it, as he got up and made his way towards the door, only to end up sitting in his place again, the ill feeling gone.

Q's face was neutral, Spock observed. The man knew this was his last chance to learn such an amazing and interesting trick and he sure wasn't going to let it get away.

"You know I'm capable of doing this, Spock. So, yes or no?"

Spock couldn't let himself hope, couldn't- "I will think about it."

Q met his raised eyebrow with one of his own and a cocky smirk. "We both know your answer. We're starting tomorrow with my lessons."

Before Spock could protest, the man blinked out of existence, leaving him in the kitchen alone. His tea was cold, his bones and joints were hurting again and the floor was wet with spilled tea seasoned with teacup shards, but a small glimmer of hope stopped him from noticing all of that. He rested his forehead on his arms and partially the table as he thought of something Jim used to say. The whole universe seems to be conspiring against me today, Mr. Spock! He allowed himself a sigh as he drifted off into the memory. Illogical, but true.


As Q was about to depart a week later, having finally mastered the mind-meld, he turned to address Spock for the last time and grinned.

"The other Qs wouldn't allow me to bring you your Jim right away. Power abuse, they said. Don't be so immature, Q, they said. But worry not. I have devised a way to get you two together! It might take some time, though, but no more than a year. Just make sure you continue with your ambassadorial duties."

Spock nodded, his heart clenching in his side. One year! Better than a lifetime alone, his logic supplied. Q slightly bowed, surprising Spock.

"Goodbye, Spock. I'd love to stay and chat but my good Picard is probably tearing his hair out in worry!"

He grinned once more and Spock raised his hand in the Vulcan salute before Q disappeared in a flash.

Spock didn't know why he trusted the man, the infamous Q with no regard for any sentient beings, but the feeling in his gut told him his decision was good.

Do what feels right, Spock. He could almost see Jim's brilliant smile in front of him.


The cold was getting to him as Spock rested, sitting against the wall. The combination of shock and freezing left him shaking violently and he didn't even try to suppress it. It was all his fault - the destruction of Romulus, Vulcan and probably Earth soon. In his despair he had not thought about how Q was going to uphold his side of the bargain.

And I thought I could save all those people with Q's instructions, Spock thought, and get Jim back. It was too late to get emotional again, though, as his emotions had caused all of this. He pulled himself together, stopping the tremors and grabbed his makeshift torch, lit it and was about to exit the cave when his sensitive hearing picked up a lot of noise. 6.2 minutes and one predatory creature later, Spock was looking into the eyes of James T. Kirk, blue eyes, he noticed, and the world was right again, all the tragedies almost forgotten - oh, how selfish he was in that moment!

Q wasn't that bad after all.