Living Year to Year Book 2

Chapter 1

It had been some days since Sam's conversation with Katie. Al placed toast and fruit in front of Sam, watching like a hawk as the younger man started to eat. In Al's eyes, Sam was still far too thin, too preoccupied with life in general to even eat a meal.

"I have to make plane reservations," Sam said around a bite of toast.

"Don't bother; I'll have Hayley do it. That's her job. You'll have to hire your own secretary soon, to handle all that sort of business." Al sipped reflectively at his coffee, trying desperately to wake up.

"Reservations for two?" Sam asked hopefully.

Sighing, Al, set his cup down, shaking his head. "We've been over that before, kid. No way."

Not wanting another row on that subject, Sam decided to drop it for now. "What's on the agenda?"

"Big day, Sam. Admiral Holtzman from HQ - starting the debriefing, needs the info from you. Gushie had Ziggy spit cut data all night, you know that." Sam nodded wearily, remembering the past week of collaborating. "Holtzman is a good guy, lots of kick, but no bite. I've known him for ages. Think you can handle him?"

"I can handle you," Sam said with a grin.

"Sometimes," Al said darkly, remembering the night before. "Not as often as you'd like to."

Sam stirred in the chair uncomfortably. "Just one thing, and I'll drop it forever, okay?" Al looked up expectantly. "What did Tom say to you yesterday?"

Sighing, Al shook his head. It was becoming an old conversation. "Same broken record. Drop it, Sam."

"I just want to know what he said so I can discuss it with him once I get to Indiana."

"And ruin your whole time up there. Well, no way, kid. It's between him and me, and eventually the whole thing will blow over. You're mother is the main thing, Sam. Sit with her and tell her everything. I've made sure that she was in on the clearance. You can give her an explanation of your... absence, and she'll believe you."

"She's pretty sick, Al." For a moment, Sam looked like every bit of his forty- six years. "I'll have to be careful. From what I've been told by her doctor, it might be wise just to talk, not make a fuss about anything. The only thing she wants is me near her. Tom is a little resentful-he gets that way every time Mom is talking about my trip home. Can't say I blame him. I know he's been the one with her while I was gone. It's like that story in the Bible where the older brother resents the younger for being treated well after a long absence." He forced down the lump that was forming in his throat.

Al's eyes narrowed. "What did he tell you? Chew you out? Make you feel like a total asshole because you weren't there?"

"They have to allow me a week soon, Al, " Sam blinked back the emotion that threatened to spill down his face. "Every day she slips a little more. There's nothing they can do - I've checked."

That explained a few things, Al thought. Those nights Sam was late returning from the Project the last few weeks. He'd been driving himself; between his therapy and working on Ziggy... Before leaving work, Al would check on Sam, making sure he was okay, and find him working on the computer, or on the phone. The kid would give him a grin and convince him he'd be home soon. Sometimes 'soon' would be several hours.

Sam had risen from the table, his breakfast, for the most part, untouched. "Sam, you really..."

Sam's gentle hand was on Al' s uniformed shoulder, squeezing gently. "I'll be fine, Al. When we get to the Project I'll grab a snack or something."

"We're going in together today. I'll have Hayley check on your flight, kid." Al said the words tightly, his internal organs churning at the thought of losing Sam for even a week. Snapping into Admiral mode to hide further emotions, he got up from the table and cleared the dishes.

More than ever, Sam was sensitive to the turbulence that played across his lover's face. He went to the sink and wrapped his arms around the slim waist, his head on Al's shoulder. Pulling him close against him, he tried to reassure the older man with his touch.

"Work, kid." Al gently maneuvered out of Sam's embrace, and gave him a light kiss before completely breaking away. "I don't want to get too hot and bothered before that damn debriefing." He grabbed his coffee cup and refilled it as Sam watched him. The older man tried to avoid the disappointed look that shone in the greenish eyes. It would be hard enough losing hi-n for a full week, and he had to adjust to it in the only way he knew.

Sam retrieved his shoes from the bedroom. and slipped the Nikes over his feet, reaching to flop the Velcro tabs over his arch. Al's hands appeared, gently taking the work out of Sam's hands and snugging the tabs over securely. Sam gently ran his fingers over Al's hair, comforting and gentle. "It's like you said, only a week," he said softly.

"It'll seem like forever," Al said, then instantly reverted to a cooler mode. "C'mon, kid. Holtzman's waiting.

Diary of Sam Beckett: Entry 1100. May 1, 1999.

Debriefing numero uno. Spent most of the time trying my best to keep my temper in check. Some of the cross-examination was getting to me. Still and all, it's amazing to see what I accomplished on the Leaps, and yet to worry about the repercussions. At the rate we're going, it might take months, even years, to really correlate all this information. Ziggy still completing background checks. Admiral Holtzman is a lot like Al, easy to work with, jovial, and curious as hell. It seemed I couldn't get a word in edgewise between his questions. We skimmed around Leaps, taking them in and out of order. Sometimes it was hard for me to remember a certain angle, but my memory is intact at the main details. Thank God. And then, there were times when I'd rather forget. When I was a chimp, for example, or a police officer in San Diego. Somehow the real details of that particular leap never came to the forefront. I was glad for that. Al left the room the moment it was mentioned and I wanted to follow him. Holtzman was too wound up in the story to notice Al had gone. When he returned I was relaying some of the stories about being a woman, how it really felt. The Admiral seemed fascinated, asking a lot of questions I couldn't or wouldn't answer. I'm not looking forward to the time when the press asks the same.

One more day of this, then we wait for the correlation. The real details, what was changed, what remained the same. That could take up to a month.

Reservations had been made so Sam would finish his work on the second day of debriefing and go immediately to the airport. Security would assist him in any way possible, helping him avoid the press, if any. Al made sure it was a private flight, with a pilot he trusted, not wanting Sam to have to through the agonies of a commercial flight where he might be recognized.

"What do you mean, you can't see me off?" Snapping the catches on his luggage. Sam turned to glare indignantly at his friend.

"Don't give me that look. Sam." It was late and Al was tired from the day. Maybe it was age, or just stress, but all he wanted was to fall into bed and sleep. "There's still press monitoring at the airport. They take one look and see me and they'll flock around you like a herd of pigs. I can't risk you getting that kind of attention right now. Are you ready to answer the kind of questions they'll ask?"

"Probably not," Sam sighed, setting his suitcase by the bedroom door. He took off his robe and laid on the waterbed, allowing Al to toss the blankets over him. "I was just hoping that you'd be there, that's all."

"Tony is going to fly you over the Project, if that's any consolation.." Al took his place at Sam's side and put his cigar out in the ashtray before turning the lamp off. The room plunged into darkness. "You've never seen what God hath wrought from the air since that day I took you up."

"A long time ago." Sam remembered that day, the bright exuberance of Al, flying as if the very air around him was a part of what he was. "Maybe you can take me up again sometime."

"I'd like that, Sam. Maybe after you come home we can go for a nice long flight and visit that cabin I own in Canada. Just over the border near Cranbrook, B.C. Won it in a poker game with a guy from the Northwest Territory. Honest to God rustic, just the best place in the world."

"I like it here best, I think." Sam rolled over to lay his head on the older man's chest. "What I really want to do is go exploring again, in those caves."

"Underground? Count me out, kid." Al gently brushed through the soft brown hair, wrapping his arm around Sam and holding him close. "I hate subways, let alone a cave. Uh-uh. 'Bena, now, she'll go with you, have the time of her life, too. Maybe you two can take those stupid horses and have a day of it. Next week maybe, after you come home."

"Will you miss me?"

"Aw, c'mon, Sam. It's a stinking seven days. My God, I'm as far as the phone. If you need someone to talk to, take the cellular, lock yourself in the John..."

"Like on a Leap. Sometimes that was the only place we could talk."

"That's what they made them for, kid. So we could talk in ' em without interference. Just grab the cellular and stick it in your bag. And for Christ's sake, don't let Tom lay a load of crap on you. That just bites my butt knowing he's up to something like that. If he starts up, avoid him."

"That might be difficult, Al. I'm not too worried. It's going to be damned odd being away from the Project."

"I bet. Before you leaped you hadn't been home in years. Kate was on my back to get you over to Hawaii for the holidays, and then, well, you left. I sure had to do some fast talking out of that situation, kid. You owe me."

"More than you'll ever know," Sam said softly, rolling over and tugging playfully on his friend's arm. Even in the dark, his greenish eyes picked up a faint twinkle from the security light outside.

"Aw, Sam, seven a.m. is going to come mighty early."

"What?" The hurt in the word came out plain. "I won't see you for a week, Al. I'm going to miss you, even if you want to pretend you won't."

"Now you're a psychic."

"After years of constant contact I can read your mind like a book." Sam pulled the other man close, cradling his head on his chest. "I'm coming back, Al. Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

"Yuck. Clichés, kid. I hate 'em." Al turned and kissed Sam, his lips and tongue telegraphing how he really felt. He broke the embrace, enjoying the look on his kid's face. Pure satisfaction, like a cat that had been stroked correctly. He straddled the spare form, kissing down the long body until he reached his groin. Sam was not completely erect, yet.

They made love, as carefully and slowly as they could, bringing each other to climax, prolonging the feeling for as long as they could. Morning came far too early and both were grumpy when the alarm rang.

Al pressed Sam back against the pillows and gently let him know he could rest for just a little while longer while he made breakfast. The younger man was unused to waking quickly, as he had been before Leaping. Al, career Navy, could rise and dress in moments, providing coffee was ready and waiting.

Thankfully, the coffee pot had been set by Sam the night before, and the wonderful aroma of wake up juice stirred through the air of the kitchen. Taking his largest cup, Al poured himself a hefty draught, and enjoyed the smell before taking a sip. Breakfast. In an hour, Tony would be here to pick Sam up.

He toasted English muffins, spread generously with strawberry jam and butter. Juice and a cup of fresh tea for Sam, who wasn't much of a coffee person and preferred leaves to grounds.

He went to the bedroom to wake Sam up and was surprised to see his friend dressed and ready, his hair damp from a shower. The bed was made, and everything in place.

"I thought you'd still be asleep," Al stated, sounding just a bit disappointed. "Breakfast is ready."

Getting up from where he'd been sitting on the bed, Sam came over and wrapped Al in the tightest hug possible without breaking his ribs. He smiled as Al buried his face into his shirt, trying desperately to hide his expression. Sam bent down and gently kissed his friend's head. "I'll be back before you know it."

"I'm not worried, Sam." Al turned out of the embrace, his face stiff and formal. It was the only shield he had against deeper emotions, and it helped him hide the fear. Sam away for a week - the world out there might not be kind and his family not what he expected or wanted. His brother was practically a stranger to him. "You call me, every damn day, Sam. Did you pack the cellular?"

"It's in my small bag," Sam said, hefting the soft brown leather case by his feet. "I won't forget."

"I arranged for extra security up there." He frowned at the face Sam made. "Listen, do you want to be a prisoner? Those press nozzles will have you by the balls if the troops aren't around."

They ate breakfast, Sam straying looks at Al, wondering what it would be like after all this time, to not have that face to look at first thing in the morning. The older man seemed placid, content, and very cool. It was his way of pushing away worry and emotion, and Sam understood. It hurt for him to say goodbye, even for a week. He decided to not bring up the will he miss me question anymore, at least not right now.

The doorbell rang as they were placing the dishes in the sink. Al was alarmed at the way Sam braced himself against the counter, his eyes closed tight. The tremblings had begun, clearly felt as the older man touched his back gently. "Okay, kid. It's just Tony. He'll take good care of you. C'mon, Sam."

The muscles untensed, and Sam gripped Al's hand for all he was worth, the tears flowing freely down his cheeks. "I'm going to miss you so much," he said.

"Don't get me started. You'll be fine, and so busy you won't remember this old curmudgeon. Now, grab your bags and get out the door. Fast, before you change that damn mind of yours." His face remained impassive, as he hustled Sam towards the living room. The doorbell rang again.

Sam's stricken face turned towards Al as he headed out. He couldn't resist the vulnerability there. "Keep your pants on, Tony," Al yelled. Pulling Sam towards him, he memorized the way he smelled, what this moment was like. Someone sorry to leave him, even to the point of tears, had never happened before - except Trudy. Beth had never cried when he left. She had been a lot like him in that respect; avoiding the emotional because it hurt. He gave Sam one final kiss, making sure he poured every ounce of love he couldn't outwardly express into it. "Now calm down, Sam, or you'll be a mess when you get home." He placed both his hands on Sam's cheeks, framing the expressive face. "You gonna be okay?"

Not able to speak without breaking down, Sam simply nodded. He wiped away the lingering tears with the back of his hand as Al assisted him with his luggage, really just a bag and a suitcase. His laptop was packed, clothes, and toiletries.

Al watched as the car moved away, Sam giving him a brief wave before the vehicle disappeared around the corner of the drive. He closed the door behind him, listening to the sounds of the empty house. The bathroom and a hot shower, then on to work. Get his mind off this. The room was still warm from Sam's shower. His towels were neatly hung over the rack, still damp from his shower. Al buried his face in one of them, not quite knowing how he'd make it a without the kid. He thought over the words that would be his litany this week. He'd be back soon. 'Alone' was an old friend of his, and he'd find ways to make it through this, without letting on to Sam that he was missing him. He couldn't smother him with this love. It might chase him further away than Indiana.