Sarcasm Works Best

Chapter 1 – Welcome to my Life

"I'm here for Arthur's food!" a voice exclaims from behind me. I turn around, quite literally shocked because after all, who in their right mind would call Prince Arthur just Arthur?

A lanky, black haired boy with blue eyes is staring at me, eyebrows raised. "Well?" he asks, looking around the kitchen.

"It's here, Merlin!" a voice tells him from behind me. Zarah, the rather loud obnoxious girl I just happen to share a room with, is holding a large platter of food with bread, cheese and fruit on it.

"Thanks Zarah!" the boy who is supposedly called Merlin says happily, before carrying the platter away from the kitchens. I notice that before he leaves he takes a rather large helping of platter and begins eating it.

"Who the devil is he?" I ask, turning to face Zarah.

"Merlin," she tells me dismissively, as if it explains everything.

"Yes, I'm not deaf. He called Prince Arthur…" I hesitate, unsure how to put it.

"Arthur?" Zarah laughs at my shocked expression. "It's just Merlin being Merlin. Ignore it."

"Why is he not in the stocks or somewhere like that?" I ask, trying to sound as polite as possible.

"He's not that bad, Leia," Zarah tells me. "He really isn't. He's nice, and besides, the things he says to Prince Arthur are quite hilarious."

"They must be," I murmur, not quite sure how to respond. I know that if I ever said that to Prince Arthur, I would probably be hunted down by his father and put to death. Maybe not that harsh, but still, there would be consequences.

"It's your first day, Leia. Stop getting so bothered about him. We have got a feast to prepare!" Zarah snaps jokingly.

The feast, which is to be held tonight, is for Lady Morgana, who had been missing for various months. Prince Arthur had found her just a few days before, and it was all the castle had been talking about. Seeing as I arrived a few days ago too, it was just about the only thing that I could keep up with. Despite Zarah's protests that I will 'learn', I can't help but think I'll be stuck as a kitchen cook for most of my long life.

I say long, but really, I don't know if my life is going to be long.

Zarah loves her job, and I'm not too sure if I love it. I never liked cooking, but I moved here because quite frankly, my parents wanted me to marry an idiot.

"Maybe you set your standards too high?" Zarah had suggested when I first moved into Camelot's kitchens. She had straight away asked me why I was here.

I have this strange inconspicuous feeling that Zarah's the type who gossips daily. I was proven right when I overheard her telling a fellow cook about me. It was nothing nasty, but still, I was proven right.

"Leia, are you finished with those potatos? Belinda needs them for the stew!" Zarah shouts across the kitchen.

"Nearly!" I tell her, even though I am no where near finished. I think I could better wield a sword than a knife, and that's saying something by itself. Not that you wield a kitchen knife in a war, of course.

"Really?" Zarah asks, appearing behind me. She laughs at the mess of the potatos. "I'll do them. Can you take these herbs to the Court Physician? I never knew they could be used in potions, but, well, they can!" Zarah exclaims, handing me a bunch of herbs.

I run off eagerly, happy to get out of the dreaded kitchen where I would be doomed to spend most of my years.

By the time I have reached the Court Physician's room, I have already heard many lovely things about Lady Morgana being back. I knock on the door quickly, peering in. Sitting in one of the wooden chairs is the lanky serving boy called Merlin. He sees me at the door and jumps up.

"Hi…" he says, looking at me confused.

"These are for the Court Physician," I tell him politely, handing him the herbs.

"Oh, you mean Gaius? Thanks...?" Merlin looks at me curiously, clearly asking for my name. I feel compelled not to say, but seeing as I was raised to be polite, I tell him anyway.

"I'm Leia."

"I'm Merlin," Merlin tells me, smiling as he begins to look for a spot for the herbs.

"So I've heard," I murmur, awkwardly about to back out of the room.

"Are you new here?" Merlin suddenly asks politely.

"Yes, I just arrived a few days before…Lady Morgana was found. It seems all that people talk about…" I say, still trying to awkwardly leave. Damn Merlin and his politeness.

"Oh." Merlin suddenly looks uncomfortable at the mention of Lady Morgana, but I don't bother pushing it. I have a strange feeling it's something with a lot of love in it, and as far as I'm concerned, that's all rubbish.

"Well, I'll see you around, Merlin," I tell him, waving goodbye uneasily.

"Of course. See you, Leia!" Merlin says, recovering from his sudden burst of longing or lust for Lady Morgana, or whatever it is.

I run back to the kitchens, and by the time I arrive I'm out of breath. Zarah looks at me curiously.

"Did you run all the way back?" Zarah asks me, looking amused.

"No, of course not! What can I do now, Zarah?" I ask her, quickly changing the subject to avoid more awkwardness.

After all, I think I've had enough awkwardness for one day.

"You can get ready for the feast! We are going to be serving there. I'm really excited…are you?" Zarah chats happily to me, while I stare at her with a look of dread.

Clearly, I haven't had enough awkwardness for the day.

-xxx-

Heya guys! So this is my first fanfiction and I'm not sure if it's any good. I don't know if Leia is too…Mary Sue? I really really hope not, but please, tell me what you guys think! Please review!

-Zanada