The Doctor's DVDs.
INT. TARDIS
The TARDIS is juddering and shaking around, with sparks flying from the console. The Doctor and Amy are thrown to the floor of the TARDIS, as it crash lands. All the lights go out, and the pair are left in darkness.
AMY
Ouch. Argh. What happened?
THE DOCTOR
I capitulated physical ascendancy so we debacled.
The auxiliary lights come on. The Doctor looks at the console.
AMY
Sorry?
THE DOCTOR
Erm, I lost control so we crashed.
AMY
Brilliant! Can you fix it?
THE DOCTOR
Yes. No. Maybe. Possibly.
AMY
Where are we? When are we?
The Doctor sonics the TARDIS monitor. It crackles and fizzes and shows the date "04/04/2010." The screen splutters and goes out again.
THE DOCTOR
Right, I'll go out, see where we are. You stay here; see if you can get anything working.
AMY
What? I can't work the bloody TARDIS.
THE DOCTOR
'Course you can. You're Amy Pond. You can do anything.
Amy looks at the Doctor in disbelief. He smiles and shrugs. He turns and walks towards the door.
THE DOCTOR (con't)
Worth a try, anyway.
The Doctor leaves. Amy turns to the console and just stares at it. Apprehensively, she reaches for the "hot" tap. She turns it. Nothing happens. She sighs in annoyance.
EXT. STREET
The Doctor walks down the street, looking in all directions. As he walks, a number of people glance in his direction and gawp. He grins back.
THE DOCTOR
At least these people appreciate my dress-sense.
One man in particular looks in absolute awe at the Doctor. The Doctor smiles back again. Encouraged, the man runs up to him and grabs the Doctor's hand, shaking it vigorously. The Doctor looks pretty damn uncomfortable.
MAN
It's an honour to meet you Mr Smith! You were magnificent last night! My favourite episode of all time! And you're even wearing the clothes! I heard they were yours. Brilliant! I'm just on my way to buy a bowtie like yours! Bow ties are cool!
THE DOCTOR
Yes, I think you might have the wrong person mate. Sorry. But you're right, bowties are cool.
The man looks distraught. He walks off looking disheartened. The Doctor looks at him for a second, then runs across the road and into a Tesco.
INT. TARDIS
Amy sits in one of the chairs, her feet rested on the console. She looks very relaxed, almost asleep. The Doctor barges into the TARDIS, his arms laden down with objects. He has an angry look on his face.
AMY
You okay?
THE DOCTOR
Amy, call the police.
AMY
Why..?
The Doctor throws her a page of a newspaper. On it is a photo of the Doctor, with the headline "Smith's Debut as Who attracts 8m viewers." The Doctor points at the photo.
THE DOCTOR
Because this guy's stolen my look!
AMY
But that's you.
THE DOCTOR
No, that's Matt Smith. And look at this...
He pulls out a TV listings guide. He flips through it to Saturday. He points at a slot. It reads 'Doctor Who'.
THE DOCTOR (con't)
This is some Parallel Universe. Episodes from my life are being played out weekly at 6:20. And 6:25 sometimes. 6:40 on occasions. And even 6:05 once. And I'm being portrayed by some great, heroic actor of the period.
AMY
What about me?
THE DOCTOR
Oh yes. You're there.
The Doctor pulls out another newspaper. He reaches the section he was looking for and shows the paper to here. There is a large photo of Amy in the kissogram outfit she wore when she met the Doctor after the 12 year interlude. The headline reads "New Doctor Who Assistant Too Sexy."
AMY
Well, being called sexy isn't too-
The Doctor points at a particular word of the article as Amy speaks. She grabs it in horror and re-reads the word.
AMY (con't)
I am not slutty!
The TARDIS console beeps. The room suddenly lights up.
THE DOCTOR
Ah! Right, let's get out of this Godforsaken universe.
The Doctor pilots the TARDIS. It is still a little shaky. When they land, the Doctor looks at the monitor.
THE DOCTOR (con't)
Oh come on. Same universe!
AMY
We're not stuck here are we?
THE DOCTOR
No. Yes. Maybe.
AMY
Don't start that again.
THE DOCTOR
Sorry.
AMY
When are we now?
THE DOCTOR
10th November 2010.
AMY
Well, I'm going to have a look out now.
Amy leaves. The Doctor gets to work on the console.
INT. TESCO
Amy is in the DVD section of the Tesco supermarket. She picks up a DVD in disbelief. "Doctor Who: Series 5." There is an image of herself and the Doctor on the front. Making up her mind, she makes her way to the counter. On the way, she notices another DVD; "Doctor Who: Series 2, Volume 4." Picking it up too. She makes her way towards the counter to pay.
INT. TARDIS
The Doctor reconnects two wires that had become disconnected.
THE DOCTOR
Aha! Done!
Amy walks back through the TARDIS door, a Tesco bag in her hand. She removes the two DVD boxes from the bag and shows them to the Doctor.
AMY
What're these?
THE DOCTOR
I'm a DVD!
Amy points to the Series 2 DVD.
AMY
What about this guy? Same TV programme, different actor.
THE DOCTOR
That's me! Before I regenerated! That's my friend Rose!
AMY
No. They're David Tennant and Billie Piper. Oh, wait. This says they portray The Doctor and Rose Tyler.
THE DOCTOR
This is great. But also kind of bad. How do these so-called writers know how our lives are being played out? Yes, it's very bad. And I don't know how. Anyway, let's go back to our universe.
The Doctor pulls a lever, setting the TARDIS into flights. When it lands, he grabs the DVDs and runs over to the TARDIS door. He flings them open. They are in orbit around a supernova.
AMY
What're we doing here?
THE DOCTOR
We're going to destroy these DVDs.
AMY
What? I paid £45 for those! I want to at least watch them.
THE DOCTOR
No way. Look at this episode. "Vincent and the Doctor." Who the hell is Vincent? Can't watch these, we'll find out how our future will play out. Spoilers.
The Doctor throws the box set out of the TARDIS. It gets caught in the supernova's gravity and soon disappears from sight.
AMY
Fine. Well what about this one? You've already experienced all these adventures.
THE DOCTOR
Nope. I'm going to destroy that too. And I have two very good reasons for doing so.
AMY
And what might they be?
The Doctor points at episode 10 on the DVD. "Love and Monsters."
THE DOCTOR
That's reason one.
He then points at episode 11; "Fear Her."
THE DOCTOR (con't)
And that's reason two.
He takes the DVD and throws that into the supernova as well. He closes the door and runs back to the console.
THE DOCTOR (con't)
Let's go!
