Disclamer~
So I don't own the anime or the characters of course, and as you might have guessed this first chapter is especially full of angst and there is going to be cutting. If you cant handle this then i suggest not reading this, also there is much yaoi and there is indeed some lemon in this as well as the mention of incest. So with this in mind please dont read if you dont like such things. for those who dont mind, go ahead! and i hope you will all enjoy it! thanks.
Lukas was sitting in his room staring forlornly at the wall.
He was depressed. Again. He had another falling out with the man he had thought was the love of his life. Except he wasn't, first of all said man was an idiot who couldn't keep his promises, and secondly he knew that Lukas was actually truly in love with someone else.
The Norwegian sighed a shaky breath as he had been crying for hours and thinking about things. The one he truly loved was with someone else and it left a deep ache in his heart he knew wasn't likely to go away anytime soon.
He had been kidding himself all this time. Mathias had only been his distraction from his true feelings, a mistake.
As Lukas sat in the solitude of his room he could hear Emile's laughter coming from the living room. He was no doubt with his boyfriend Leon.
The only reason that Lukas had tried so hard to ruin their relationship was because he was jealous. And it was of Leon for taking his little brother from him. That's right, he was in love with his younger brother.
He knew it was forbidden but he still couldn't get rid of the feelings he had. It didn't matter how many times he had kissed or had sex with the Dane, his feelings never changed.
He hadn't been able to change. He was still in love with his brother. He may have once loved Mathias but that had been long ago and it had only been due to Stockholm Syndrome.
He could still remember the day he realized that fact. That had been one of the reasons why he preferred to hide his expressions and emotions behind an emotionless and very cold expression, when he started talking in a nearly monotonous sort of tone.
He didn't want to be hurt over and over. He had told himself time and time again that he was done caring about people. That if he let himself care then he would only end up hurt again.
Then he had discovered Iceland. And somehow he ended up forming a strong bond with him. He didn't know why at the time but it all became clear why as time passed and he slowly found out that they were actually brothers.
Iceland had been the only one that had been able to melt away his façade. The only one he could allow himself to be real with. But as he continued to get close to him that was when the problems arose once again.
He had found some feeling other than brotherly love for him hidden deep in his heart. On top of that Emile started acting more cold and moody towards him, saying things like you're a pest and wondering why he wouldn't just leave him alone.
The sort of behavior that a lot of families have. His brother was growing up and becoming independent, he was starting to drift away from him. The worst part was he was fairly sure Emile had no idea how he really felt about him, and even if he found out, he would probably just hate him for it.
Lukas had a lot of trust issues when it came to love which was why he hesitated to the point where he had lost his chance. At least it seemed that way.
Lukas was pulled from his thoughts as his gaze drifted over to the decorative pocket knife just laying on his desk. His first thoughts were, if I cut maybe the pain will fade away.
Of course there was the other part of him that just said don't because it wont help anything. But instead of listening to the voice of reason like a good little nation, his distraught state of mind took over as well as his depression and he got up, taking the knife in his hand.
It was no surprise as he revealed the blade and held it to his wrist. He felt a few more tears roll down his cheeks before he dragged the sharp blade across the pale skin of his wrist.
He winced a little and let out a ever so faint sound of discomfort but at the same time he actually embraced this pain.
He withdrew the knifes blade for a fraction of a second before he began making another cut slightly deeper than the first. Both were already bleeding. Soon he was making more and more cuts, almost frantically at this point, desperate to replace his emotional pain with the satisfaction of self-inflicted physical pain.
And eventually his wrist was covered in cuts that were bleeding quite a bit. He felt much better and he eventually retracted the now bloody blade and set the knife aside, only to lay on the bed, curled up into a ball and staring at the wall, until he fell asleep. He didn't feel like bandaging his wrist. It felt good to just let it bleed.
While this had gone down, Emile had been spending what was a blissful evening with his boyfriend Leon.
He had been grateful that Lukas was no longer interfering with them as of late even though he didn't know why.
He looked to the Cantonese boy sitting beside him. He was somewhat flustered because he had just barely been asked if he wanted to have sex with him for the first time. Being the tsundere that he was he couldn't help but hesitate and say things that nearly implied he didn't want to.
Leon looked at the Icelandic teen, he knew he had him right where he wanted him. They had been dating for quite a while now and he really wanted to take things to the next level.
All they had done so far was kissing. The only reason they hadn't already was because they had been interrupted every time. But he knew this time was somehow going to be different.
He didn't even give Emile room to protest as he captured his lips in a breathtaking kiss. Iceland was blushing even more and found himself kissing him back despite his previous excuses and protesting.
What started out as a harmless make out session, lasting quite a while soon turned sexual when the clothes started disappearing, Emile rather distracted by Leon managing to maintain their passionate kissing in the meantime, only barely breaking it to get their shirts off only to go right back into it without hesitation.
Leon decided that being on the couch was boring and he lead him to the nearest wall, effectively pinning him to it before he started removing Iceland's pants, followed by his boxers, after which, he removed his own.
Since he wasn't a horrible person he intended to stretch him first. Emile was conveniently facing the wall already so he wasn't going to have too difficult a time of this.
"Em, this may feel a bit weird, but you can take it right?"
Of course he answered right away and in a pretty typical for him way. "Just do it already, ill be fine!"
He was more flustered than ever before as he knew what he was planning to do. This would be the part where he would say 'rip my innocence' But that would be lame.
He bit his lip slightly out of nervousness. His boyfriend slipped a finger inside not long after and he cringed at the feeling of the slightly wet finger that was now inside of him.
He assumed Leon had used his own saliva or something but it was definitely wet. Hong Kong waited a moment before slipping yet another finger inside of the nation, and he smiled in a pleased sort of manner as he had earned himself a slight sound of slight pleasure from the slivery haired teen.
By now it also slightly hurt but Emile figured that was normal since it seemed like the brunette Asian knew what he was doing.
It wasn't long before Hong added the third and final finger which caused Iceland to cry out slightly louder in a mix of pain and pleasure. Of course he wasn't used to the feeling of being stretched so it was still very uncomfortable.
Leon began to move the digits around inside of the other male in an attempt to stretch him ever more. Emile let out the occasional sound as he felt himself be stretched more and more. He attempted to relax so that he wasn't making this more difficult but it was hard.
Soon enough Hong decided that he was loose enough and withdrew his fingers before he finally placed himself at the others entrance and simply pushed in.
Emile's hand flew to his own mouth to muffle a very loud cry of complete pleasure and of course pain. He could kiss his virginity goodbye now. "L-Leon wait a moment...before you move."
Leon understood completely and waited for him to adjust. The Icelandic teen took a little while to get used to the feeling of having something inside of him before he gave him the signal to continue.
Leon didn't hesitate to start thrusting into him. The the ever so slight and muffled moans coming from Emile and the less frequent but still present moans of his own filling the otherwise quiet room.
With each thrust Leon slowly picked up the pace until eventually he was nearly pounding into him. He did it with much skill, until he could feel Emile start to move his hips into it a little. Iceland's thoughts quickly became clouded in pleasure and his erection was quite painful at this point.
It was a while of this before Leon started to feel his climax approaching. He was amazed that they hadn't been walked in on yet and he hoped it would last to the end. Their breathing became much more labored and even ragged, Leon took it upon himself to start stroking Emile's neglected member which earned him even more moans.
Sure enough Leon reached his limit after a few more well timed thrusts. A fairly loud cry of his love's name leaving his lips. Emile, being the truly inexperienced one didn't last long after him, especially with the very deft strokes he had been receiving, and he came into the Asian teen's hand.
Hong rode out his climax, filling Emile to the brim before pulling out and turning him around to pull him into a final and lasting kiss.
After what felt like an eternity to both of them, the withdrew. Both panting. Since neither male felt like making their way up the stairs to Emile's room, they simply migrated to the couch and fell asleep in each other's arms. They had no idea what awaited them in the morning.
This is a transfer from the original post of the story that I did on wattpad in which my username is Silveryeyedwitchsari just a heads up on that.
