Title: Whispered on a Breath.
Rating: T
Summary: Based on the Skate moments from "Catch 22" and the promo at the end of the episode. Kate goes to talk to Sawyer after she'd "jumped him" and after he talked to her on the beach the next day.
Disclaimer: Oh please.
Her feet were heavy as she carried herself toward his tent. She sometimes forgot to look past the cocky, self assured cover that he presented and see the insecure man beneath. An insecurity made worse by her attention to another man. She wasn't the cause of his self doubt but she knew that she was responsible for this attack of low self esteem. She'd spent the whole day working on something that she hoped was enough, was a big enough gesture to assure him that he was the only one she wanted.
She swung the covering up and entered his tent and saw the expression that loomed on his face. The gesture was eerily reminiscent of the night before and she knew what conclusion he had jumped to.
"Back again freckles? Doc and Juliet snuggling again?" His voice was disturbingly calm but his eyes raged with a jealous and sorrowful fire.
"No. I came to see you. I don't know or care what Jack and Juliet are doing. Haven't seen them all day." She smiled softly when she saw the confusion on his handsome face.
Moving forward, Kate bent down to kneel beside him where he lay on his 'bed'. Her hand reached out and gently started stroking his chest. She watched as his eyes closed and his face took on a look of peace before following the path her hand was tracing with her eyes. However her attention abruptly snapped back to his face when he roughly grabbed her hand and halted her ministrations.
"Still upset about last night then Sassafras? Asking this time?" He drawled sarcastically. He was hurt, she knew that. She didn't blame him.
"Sawyer please." She whispered looking at him imploringly. She desperately needed to explain. Not just because she couldn't stand the thought of him in pain and especially because of her, but because she needed to tell him what was going on with her. She'd always felt safe with him, like she could trust him, no matter what the evidence to the contrary. She needed to confide.
"What do you want Kate?" The sarcasm and mirth had all left his voice, and for one of few occasions, there was nothing but truth, sincerity and the hint of a plea present.
"I want you James." Kate whispered back and dropped her eyes from his stern face. "I want to explain myself."
"No need freckles. I get it." Sawyer interrupted her. He stood abruptly and headed out. Kate sighed, closing her eyes to control her emotions before following him outside into the bustling dusk of their island 'home'.
"Sawyer, please." She asked again, her eyes searching for his, trying to make contact so he could look at her, like he always could, and read exactly what she was trying to tell him. But he avoided her eyes. Stopping a few feet away from her and waiting for her to continue. It wasn't what she wanted, as he stared intently at the sand at her feet, but it was something.
"I was upset last night, you're right." Her voice dropped as she spoke, trying to maintain some semblance of privacy as they started to attract attention. "But not for the reasons you're thinking… At least not entirely."
Kate had to be completely honest, she knew that, he wouldn't accept anything else but the truth from her and he always knew when she was lying. So she pretended she didn't see the betrayal and the hurt that flashed through his eyes unguarded for a split second, and continued. "Yes, I was upset about Jack. But not that he was with Juliet. Well... ok I was upset that he was with Juliet…"
Sawyer scoffed shaking his head, before turning to walk away from her again.
"James please, it's not like that." He stopped and whirled around on her, looking at her directly and intently, the familiar deadly scowl on his face. Kate glanced around them quickly, noticing that the little scene they were making was garnering more and more attention.
"Well then why don't you explain it to me darlin'." The endearment he used held no affection as it was spat from his mouth like venom. He was hurt, and insecure, and in Sawyer that always manifested itself in rage. But Kate knew how to deal with that.
"I was upset that he could dismiss me, you, all of us so easily and take up being best buddies with a woman that held a gun to my head and threatened to kill you. I was upset at the way he looked at me with almost... disgust. And the reason why he did..." She trailed off as the rage at the memory built inside her. But Sawyer took her pause in the wrong way and shook his head again before turning and walking away from her. She knew what he was thinking and she knew she had to do. Something to prove to him that she had really made her choice, and that he wasn't second best.
She paused only for a second before looking up at his retreating back and calling out.
"James… I love you." She could feel all the eyes of the island on her as he stopped in front of her. She waited with bated breath as he stared at the sand unmoving. When he turned towards her she saw it in his eyes. The plea. The plea that she be telling the truth and not humouring him.
Kate found his eyes and held his gaze as she took first one, then two steps closer to him. And with the same raised voice, wanting everyone to know, she called again. "I love you."
"Putting on a show freckles?" He asked through gritted teeth, his defences kicking in. Kate shook her head softly. She dropped her eyes for a second before looking up again and into his.
With a soft voice, barely above a whisper, and tears in her eyes she answered. "No… I just love you." She shrugged her shoulders slightly and looked at him with a plea in her own eyes.
The world disappeared as he turned to her completely and stalked towards her. She no longer felt the eyes of the island inhabitants on her, only his, as he approached. He reached her, cupping her face in his hands and bringing her lips to his. He kissed her slow, long and deep. Pouring everything he had into it and she gave as good as she got. She didn't know where Jack was, and she didn't care. She didn't make this declaration to make him jealous or for him in anyway. She made it because it was true and she wanted, needed, the man she loved to know.
He pulled away from her slowly looking down into her eyes like he had when they were forced into back breaking labour and smiled softly.
"And the Doc?" He asked, never removing his hands from her face, and loving the feel of hers on his hips.
"He's not you." She whispered back before kissing him again. He pulled away again and dropped his hands to her shoulders.
"And the tears?" He asked, and she could see the fear in his eyes. Kate slid her hands from his hips around to his back, pulling him closer to her.
"All you." She whispered with a smile as she saw the confusion on his face. He was so cute when he looked at her like that. "I missed you." She breathed before her lips claimed his again. She felt when he understood and poured himself into the kiss, completely unaware as everyone around them went back to what they were doing. Already treating the scene before them as a regular occurrence. And neither of them noticed, as they clung to each other, the pair of eyes that watched from the cover of the jungle. The head that shook in disappointment, and they eyes that stared with something akin to disgust before walking away.
