Author: Angie

Title: Not in Love

Characters: CJ / T

Rating: G

Summary: He hates being in love.

Disclaimer: Not mine at all.

Spoilers: None. If only.

Feedback: Always appreciated.

A/N: Grace's first line challenge. I'd give an awful lot to write as well as she.

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Not in Love

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He hates being in love. Well, he'd hate it if he thought it to be true. He doesn't think he's ever felt that grand and swirling, all encompassing delirium that he read about in his sisters' books.

He's wanted someone, he grudgingly admits, to the point of desperation - although looking back, he's not that sure it wasn't all about winning; about getting there first. The prize, once in his hands, appeared not quite as glorious close up. He didn't hold on too tightly, became a trifle careless, and he couldn't deny an almost silent sigh of relief as she slipped through his fingers. He'd become quite used to losing.

He's not in love, he's certain. There's nothing hateful about the warm glow of her presence when it's tempered by his irritation at her naivete. He can thrill at her achievement when he knows he's going to harass her for that split infinitive, for taking the easy laugh. When she made him laugh too. He can stare at her for hours and disguise his admiration when he's (oh so rarely these days) dancing with her, toes on toes, and he tells her that he can't possibly kiss a woman who wears shoes two sizes bigger than his.

But kiss her he does, when no one's looking, least of all her, and, despite the warmth of her skin under his and the smile on his lips and on hers, he knows he's not in love.

He hates being in love and there's nothing to hate about this.

End