Unforgivable

He was alone. The time was not the longest but the suffering was great. He was looked upon with contempt. He was held back from all that he was meant to be. His efforts to become someone else, to do what he wanted were continually thwarted. For a moment, for those reasons, he once thought they were right. What person fought against all the obstacles placed before him and still lost?

He was allowed moments of joy. They were short and each moment was distanced from each other. His mother and his uncle, both beloved, were not enough. He was too lonely. During the times when he was most isolated grew a spark of emotion. He wanted to find strength but knew only his own sorrow and anger.

Time had long since passed from those days. He was loved and cherished. People daren't look at him in contempt. He played his part in saving the common people. He was a xiá. He was beyond the reach of many others but one matter hadn't changed.

He often lied to his beloved wife, Xiǎolóngnǚ. He woke with frightful nightmares often. They whispered of his past. They whispered of past actions and deeds that he couldn't escape. His former self even appeared from time to time with less than friendly reminders of how he had changed. Then, when he tried to protest that change was good, especially the change in himself, he would hear of the people's suffering.

He could never save everyone. People suffered from grave misdeeds and actions beyond their control. They suffered when the rich grew selfish and spoilt. They suffered from trivial matters such as not having an item that they want. He would never save everyone.

That alone marked him as the same, equal to all others; unforgivable.

Author's Note: This is actually the second one that I've done for RotCH for this. I deleted the first one. I couldn't concentrate. I couldn't pin down my ideas. The work made very little sense. I regret deleting the first one but I could never be content with that. I'm slightly more accepting of this one. My acceptance, and somewhat enjoyment, of this work is what prompts me to hope that you enjoyed this tale too. I thank you sincerely for sparing some of your time to read my work. I apologise if you are less than satisfied.

Part of the Revival Collection.