AN: This is my first fic I have the story planned out so far I hope at least some people like it.

My eyes are open now

Chapter 1

"You understand why I have to do this…right?"

Quinn stares into the honey brown eyes that she has grown so accustomed to in the past year. Leaving New Haven was never in her plans, neither was falling in love with Amber and living in a toxic environment.

Amber looks at Quinn through tear filled eyes wondering where they went wrong. Emotions unraveled and erupted within the blink of an eye. How can you part with the one person that you need in order to breathe, the person that can touch you anywhere and you feel it everywhere.

"Quinn we can make this work….once you leave maybe things will be better. I can't imagine you being out of my life, you are my life, you know that right?"

Quinn looks down into those pleading eyes and feels a wave of guilt wash over her.

I won't allow myself to feel guilty over this. Leaving Yale is hard enough, disappointing my mom and being placed on academic probation is hard enough.

"Ber I have to go now, you act as if I'm leaving your life without looking back." Quinn says as tears leak into her mouth.

Amber looks up and rests her head on the chest that has been home for exactly a year. Quinn tightens her strong arms around the petite waist awaiting a response.

"Where things that bad that you have to transfer universities, were they so horrible that you have to leave the place you worked so hard to be apart of?"

Quinn exhales while her eyebrows furrowed in deep thought. She wondered if Amber really has to ask such a rhetorical question. Coming to Yale was a dream that she jumped over multiple obstacles to make a reality. She thinks back to the multiple occasions where her dream became a harsh reality.

"Quinn!"

Amber yells as she forcefully grabs Quinn's IPhone and throws it across the living room while Quinn stares into rage filled eyes.

"Why do you insist on insulting my intelligence Quinn! Why!"

Quinn immediately knows where this anger is coming from. Amber must have gotten word of the advances from her Lit partner. Someone must have seen the kiss she shared with Whitney.

"Did you not think kissing some blonde bitch at the library I work at would get back to me, or do you really not give two shits if someone catches you"

Quinn was unsure if this was a question that needed an answer to follow it.

"Answer me" Amber whispers, while tears roll down her cheeks.

Quinn answered the best way she knew how.

Quinn grabbed Amber's hand and entwined their fingers. She stood up and cupped the smaller girls cheeks wiping away the fallen tears with her thumb. Quinn looked at Amber's eyes while her heart shuttered knowing she was the cause of all the pain. Quinn glanced at Amber's pink lips tracing every curve before leaning down and pressing her mouth against the woman she loved. Amber's tiny fists pounded on Quinn's chest trying to resist the only person that could break her with a single glance. Quinn knew better than to relent her advance, she took Amber's bottom lip into her mouth while running her hand through raven locks. Soon Amber's protests subsided and she let herself acquiesce to Quinn's advances. Amber began to return the kiss closing her mouth around Quinn's while waiting for Quinn's tongue to seek entrance. Quinn wrapped her arms around the smaller girl and lifted her up so that her legs were wrapped around Quinn's waist; she walked Amber to their room and placed her down on their plush bed.

Amber looked up into hazel eyes and wondered to herself when and how she let herself become so blinded by love. Why did she allow herself to be made a fool of time and time again only to get the same results in the end? Quinn was an amazing and thoughtful girlfriend. She showered Amber in gifts and romantic gestures because that was the only way she knew how to apologize, although those superficial things were nice they were not needed. Communication was needed honesty was needed trust was needed the only things Quinn could not provide.

Quinn climbed onto the bed crawling towards Amber and begins to kiss her with renewed fervor. Hoping Amber was able to feel and understand all the love she was pouring into this one kiss, hoping Amber could feel how sorry she was with this one kiss. Needing the girl she loved to understand how sorry she would continue to be because this was not and would not be the last time she slipped, lied or avoided confrontation about another woman.

Quinn snapped out of her reverie and looked into the eyes she would no longer wake up to.

"Ber" Quinn exhaled.

"I love you, like I've never thought I was capable of loving someone and that's why I have to go. I love you too much to stay and put you through anymore heartache. My grades have suffered, your grades have suffered. We have fought verbally and physically. I am so ashamed of who I am to you. I'm ashamed of who I am period. I'm a liar and a cheat I'm everything I despised in my father. Now look at me I've become my father. Going to NYU will give us a fresh start. A clean slate so I can work on not lying and giving into advances. A clean slate to be a sophomore in college and focus solely on my studies like a normal student. When I can honestly say I'm the person that deserves your love and your heart I will come back to New Haven and claim you as mine, if you will have me."

Amber looks up and runs her hands through shaggy blond locks. She pulls Quinn into a kissed filled with hope; she needs this last kiss to convey her undying affection.

"I will always have you Quinn." Amber whispers.

Quinn gives Amber one last hug before loading her last box into her white Mercedes GLK. Closing the trunk, she shoves her hands into her jean pockets and exhales a breath she was unaware she was holding.

"I'll let you know when I get to New York, okay Ber?"

Amber stared at Quinn unable to step any closer fearing she will literally drop to the ground and beg the love of her life not to leave.

"Of course." Amber says, while wiping the single tear that managed to escape her honey colored eyes.

Quinn climbs into her truck and takes one last glance at the sidewalk where ex-girlfriend stands. Quinn reluctantly presses the button that starts the engine. Rolling down her window she looks at Amber through tear filled eyes.

"Hey, you're my part time lover."

Amber lets out a tear filled laugh and blushes while looking into Quinn's eyes.

"And you're my part time friend."

Quinn pulls out her IPhone and sends a quick text to Santana.

On my way

A minute later she feels her phone vibrate in the cup holder with a reply from Santana.

Be safe Qunnie, btw Berry has not shut up about your pending arrival.

Quinn can't ignore the instant increase of her heartbeat knowing Rachel is looking forward to her arrival. At that very moment she looks out the window at the waving hand of her ex-girlfriend. The girl that still holds a significant place in her life.

Quinn exhales and pulls out of her parking space remembering the promise she made. A promise that New York will make her a worthy person, a person worthy of being loved.

The only problem is if she wants to be worthy of Amber or Rachel's love.

RR (please)