A/N: What's this? She's writing another Fruits Basket chapter fic? Yes! Yes I am! And I'm excited for it! Of course, the beginning makes me horribly sad, but I have a plan. Er—sort of. But man, I just really wanted to write another one REALLY bad.

Do you think I'm going to get Furuba'd out? With this and Moments in Life?

….

Yea, me too! Haha. Hope you enjoy the first chapter of Second Thoughts.

PS: Reviews make my day, because I'm so nervous about this one. Hehe. Love you all!

Disclaimer: Fruits Basket belongs to Natsuki Takaya. This very angsty story is mine (awkwardly enough).


Second Thoughts

Chapter One


His heart crushes. He can feel it, almost as if it is in slow motion. Tearing, ripping, shredding, falling, dying…they are all steps to a dance he can't follow. His heart follows the steps. He feels like crying. He feels like screaming. He feels like punching someone.

He feels…alone.

"How?" he asks hoarsely. "How can you…can you do this?"

"It just sort of…happened," she answers honestly—truthfully. He can't fight the sadness in her eyes. He can't fight the hope that he won't be angry, the hope they can still be friends, the hope that…the hope that he'll forgive her.

He doesn't say anything. He spins around. He walks away quickly. As soon as he turns the corner, he breaks out into a run, sprinting through the school doors and into the bright sunlight. He squints. He doesn't know if it's from the glare of the sun or from the tears, because they come flowing now. Pouring down his cheeks, a steady river of sadness. He tries to stop them, but instead a dry sob wracks his body.

What will he do now?


Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

"Auugghhhh…"

Beep. Beep. Beep.

"Shut up," he muttered, patting around for the alarm clock

Beep. Beep. Beep.

"Shut the HELL up, already!" He sat up, grabbed the clock, and threw it at the wall. The cord ripped from the outlet and the clock was sent spinning, smashing into the bookshelf across from him.

It was silent.

"Kyo-kun?" He heard a nervous voice from the other side of his door. "What happened?"

Kyo sighed heavily, scratching at his hair absent-mindedly. "Nothing. Just the clock."

"Did you…did you break it?" she asked meekly.

He lied. "No. I just—shut it off."

"Oh. All right." Kyo could hear her light footsteps fade off down the hall, towards the kitchen. She was off to make breakfast, no doubt. He sighed again, stood up, and began rummaging through the closet to find his school uniform. Afterwards, he headed out to get something to eat.

"Good morning, Kyo-kun!" Tohru cried happily, flipping pancakes into the air. The smell was heavenly, and Kyo felt his stomach rumble. "I decided to make pancakes. You like them, don't you?"

Kyo nodded slightly, headed for the fridge per ritual. "Yea," he answered shortly.

"Okay!" she said, oblivious to Kyo's rumbling mood. He gulped down some milk and placed it back in the fridge.

"Where's everyone else?" he asked.

"Shigure-san is…gone, and Yuki-kun is still asleep."

"Hm," he grunted, walking around the kitchen absently. "Shouldn't you go wake Yuki up?"

Tohru started, nearly dropping the frying pan. "I—I—I suppose so."

"I'll take over," Kyo reassured, grabbing the pan out of Tohru's grasp. Their fingers touched for a fleeting second, and Tohru stepped back nervously.

"Um—well—okay."

"You wouldn't want him late for school," Kyo hinted in a false nonchalant voice. "Right?"

"R—R—Right."

He didn't look back as he heard her disappear. Let her go. He was sick of her acting like everything was normal between them—it so very clearly wasn't. He had to give her points for trying though. Kyo was just too stubborn to accept the truth.

"Okay, Kyo is probably done the pancakes by now…"

Kyo heard a reply. "Excellent. I'm starving."

A giggle from Tohru.

Kyo flushed a deep red, slamming the pan harder on the stovetop then he meant to. He turned around to see Yuki and Tohru walking beside each other, Yuki's arm slung around Tohru's shoulders—just close enough to be obvious, but far enough away to be safe.

Kyo felt like he was going to be sick. "Make your own damn breakfast!" he snapped loudly, stomping past the couple. As he passed Tohru, he thought he saw her eyes watch him almost…sadly. Pitifully?

"What's his problem?" he heard Yuki ask as he walked further and further down the hall.

"I—I don't know. Here, just let me get these for you. Then I'll go see what the problem is…"

"Like Hell you will!" Kyo yelled down the hall. Silence greeted his outburst, but he could almost see Tohru turning red, her eyes downcast whilst Yuki glared down the hall in his direction.

Well, let them think what they wanted. Kyo wasn't about to let their little lovey-dovey antics get to him. Nooo way. This whole Tohru-going-out-with-Yuki thing didn't bother him a bit. After all, it hadn't for the past year.

No way.

But as he headed to the roof, he knew it was a lie. It would bother him until the day he died…and longer.


"Don't worry about it Tohru."

"B—But…he was so angry!"

Yuki's cool hand on her shoulder caused a shiver to run up her spine; his eyes, cold and hard, bored into hers. "You know why he's acting like that."

"Bu—"

"There's no need to investigate."

A silence stretched out between the two; Tohru trying to figure out how to reply and Yuki gazing towards the frying pan. "Oh, is breakfast ready then?" he asked calmly, stepping away and letting his hand float away from her shoulder lightly. She brightened immediately.

"Almost! Let me fix it up a bit…" The two chatted for a bit longer, Yuki animatedly describing the latest problem with the student council, and Tohru listening easily, nodding every so often and laughing in all of the right places.

But she couldn't help but picture Kyo, out on the roof, with a look of pure anger on his face. She didn't want him to be angry. Although she had made her choice, she decided he had no right to be angry.

After breakfast. Then she would talk to him.

"Tohru? Tohru?" A hand shook her shoulder, and she immediately snapped out of her daze, turning around to see Yuki watching her with concern. "Are you all right?" he asked softly. Tohru felt herself blushing under his gaze, and lowered her eyes to watch his shoes instead.

"Y—Yes. I'm fine…"

"Don't let him bother you, okay?" Yuki was so kind, Tohru realized, as he smiled at her and ran his fingers through a bit of her hair lightly. So kind, and so sweet. So much like the man she had always dreamed of being with.

And yet…

No. She wouldn't let herself think like that. Things were going too well. Too perfect. She didn't want to disrupt such a thing with her confused thoughts.

Time to let go; she told herself sternly as, minutes after breakfast, she changed into her school uniform. I'm not going to go talk to him. Don't think about the past anymore. At least…try.


"Kyon! Hey! Kyon! Orangey!" The sharp, barking voice awoke Kyo with a snort. Then someone shook his arms, which were resting on the desk and protecting his head while he drifted off in homeroom.

"Wha--?" he mumbled, lifting his head a fraction of an inch with his eyes still partially glued shut from sleep. In front of him stood a fuming Uotani, her eyes slanted very dangerously. Kyo let out a groan of exasperation and let his head fall back into his arms.

"Hey!" she snapped again, shaking his arm with such force he felt like there was an earthquake. "What're you sleeping for? I'm asking you a question!"

"I didn't get any sleep last night!" Kyo cried suddenly, sitting up and looking as visibly angry as Uotani. "So can you shut the HELL up and let me get some damn sleep!"

Uotani blinked at him, eyes crossed in front of her chest. "As if, Kyon," she muttered, eyes glinting. "When I have a question, I expect it to be answered."

Kyo's anger deflated into defeat. "Whaddya want?" he asked monotonously, holding his chin up in his hands to make sure he didn't fall asleep again.

Uotani pulled over a chair with an obnoxious screech, plopping herself down in front of Kyo, who continued to glare at her with all the sleepy hatred he could muster.

"Where's Tohru?" she asked unexpectedly, her voice suddenly more worried than cross. Kyo bristled at her question. In fact, he was set on edge whenever anyone mentioned her anymore.

"I don't know," he replied in that same neutral tone, letting his eyes wander from Uotani to the wall behind her, where a group of students were drawing obscene things on the white board while the teacher was out.

"As if!" Uotani's voice slashed through his thoughts again, bringing him back down to his chair with a slam. He glanced over at her, surprised.

"Why would I know?" he asked venomously. I barely know her anymore.

"Because you two…are friends?" Uotani asked, quirking an eyebrow almost suggestively, as if saying 'what's your story, buddy?'

"You're better friends with her then I am," Kyo snapped at her, rubbing his eyes with a lion's yawn. "Can you leave me alone now?"

"I guess," she said with a shrug, watching him closer now. "I guess," she repeated.

Kyo watched her in silence as she moved her chair back to the table and walked over to the group of boisterous boys in the front, where she proceeded to tease them. Kyo only sighed again, gazing out the window to his left. Oh, he knew where she was. Off with Yuki, of course, helping him with his little Presidential duties.

Whatever.

As soon as the bell rang, Kyo bolted from the classroom, anxious to go his next class. The class where no one knew him. Where he knew no one. It was a blissful class.

He couldn't wait for high school to be over now.


"Oh, there's Kyo-kun now!" Tohru cried, as a throng of students wrestled their way out of homeroom. Tohru waved at him, but he only averted his eyes and acted as if he hadn't seen her. Maybe he hadn't.

Yuki stood beside her, brow furrowed with thought. "I don't think he saw you."

"I don't think he does anymore at all," Tohru replied almost sadly. Yuki looked down at her and lightly touched her shoulder, causing her to jump and look imploringly up at him.

"We have study hall now," he reminded her absently.

"Er—right!" she agreed readily, smiling up at him. "I really do need help with that algebra quiz that's coming up."

"I'd be glad to chip in," Yuki told her warmly, grabbing her hand. She grew red, and he smiled at her. She was so adorable. The two proceeded to walk down the hall, hand-in-hand…but not without someone watching them from down the hall with hateful eyes.


School was done for the week. Kyo was so relieved to be able to go home and rest in his room for two days straight, only to leave to go out and train, and then hurry back in. With this new strategy his marks had gone up amazingly; he had nothing else to do with his time other than homework.

But this weekend was going to be different. When he walked in the front door a note was taped to the wall opposite. He couldn't tell who had written it but as he slid off his shoes he saw the little heart in the corner and knew: Shigure.

He ripped it off viciously, scouring the note for anything important. Rolling his eyes, he taped the note back up for the Tohru and Yuki to see.

Dear Lovelies,

I will be out for the evening on writing business. Surprisingly, I ran into Mayu-chan this afternoon and discovered something—you three had signed up for a volunteering event numerous months ago!

Just wanted to remind you to be at the school at eight o'clock tomorrow morning. She wouldn't tell me what it was, but she wanted me to remind you.

PS: Just to rub it in a little, I'll be sleeping then. Heehee!

-Shigure

Kyo remembered that. Clearly. He and tons of other students had volunteered (well, he had been pushed into it by Tohru…when they had still talked, that is) to do a complete clean out of the school: classrooms, halls, the gym, walls, floors, lockers…everything.

"Oh, Kyo-kun, it's only a bit of cleaning!"

"I would think that since your job is cleaning, you'd get sick of this."

"But it's for the school! It could be fun!"

"…You sure?"

"Yes!"

"…All right."

"Thank you Kyo-kun! Thank you!"

Disgusted with himself, Kyo threw his backpack into the corner of his room. Why had he ever agreed? Sure, they would be split into groups; there were so many students that it would be very rare for him to be in a group with any of his so-called friends. He could go the day wiping at some dust and maybe rearranging a few books, and then he would be done. Nothing too serious. He might even cut the last half, just because he really didn't want to do this now.

Then again, being in a school is less chance of seeing her then at home, he thought mildly, flopping down on his futon as his eyes stared blankly at the clock he had broken that morning. And I really need a new clock.

Dammit. He had forgotten about that volunteering, and he had been happy. Stupid Shigure! Why the hell did he have to know his teacher, anyway? That was just creepy.

Fifteen minutes later (or so Kyo assumed; he didn't have a clock, after all) he heard Tohru and Yuki enter the house, chattering away like excited little birds. Then a pause, some mumbles, and the ripping of tape as the note was taken off of the wall.

Well.

He should have just tore it off and threw it in the garbage. Of course, Yuki wasn't one to forget. Being President he was forced to remember basically everything that happened every moment of the day at the school.

Yawning and stretching out, he tried to force his mind onto other things. He wriggled his toes, and then let out a big gasp of air after stretching. His head was light as he sat up abruptly, running a hand through his unruly hair. He was restless, and he knew it.

Might as well train. It was better than nothing. After he had changed and grabbed a towel, he snuck quietly past the kitchen to go through the back door. Before he did though, he caught a glimpse of Tohru and Yuki sitting at the table, laughing with their hands clasped together and being so close it made Kyo sick with a memory.

A memory he seriously wanted to forget. But he knew, deep down in his heart, it was impossible.

And that was what had started this whole mess in the beginning.