Okay, this is kind of just me venting. Yes, it is probably completely out of character. But I needed to get this out. It will either be a one-shot, or maybe three or four chapters, at most. I doubt it will be super huge though. Like I said, it's just me venting.
Yeah, I don't own Young Justice. It wouldn't be a bad birthday present though :P
Lightning cracked through the sky, threatening rain. Robin, who was hidden within the shadows awaiting to 'ok' from his Martian friend, didn't seem to care.
Ok Robin, the telepath's voice rang in his head. He's coming your way. Be prepared. His body tensed, aching to leap from his hiding place in the shadows and do what he'd been waiting for all night. But he must sit still.
Suddenly, the door across the alley opened, and a man stepped out. He popped the hood up on his black hoodie, and began to casually walk out of the alley. His brown hair covered part of his pale white face as he walked right past Robin. I could take him. Easy. Robin thought to himself.
I have visual. Robin telepathically announced.
Good. Engage. But be careful. He is just the messenger. Kaldur replied. The rest of the team was stationed atop various rooftops all around. Robin, being the stealthiest and knowing his way around the Bat-glare, had been stationed in the alley to catch the thug when he exited the warehouse.
Robin didn't reply to his leader, but instead let out a loud cackle. He turned, wide-eyed, then whipped around again and started running away from the mysterious laughter. Fortunately, Robin had been counting on that.
He shot his grappling hood to the rooftop across the street, swinging himself with enough force to land right in front of the guy. Instantly, fluidly, Robin sent an upper cut straight into the thug's jaw. However, the man began grinning as Boy Wonder realized his fist was stuck in the hand of this guy.
He stood, frozen in shock, for just a moment. Unfortunately, a moment was all this thug needed. He punched Robin square in the face, sending him flying backwards.
The cold concrete was hard under Robin as his back slammed against the asphalt of the old roads of Gotham. The air was momentarily knocked from his lungs, and as he struggled to catch it, a large, booted foot slammed into his chest, rolling his body over.
Robin! M'gann thought.
Don't! he replied sternly, glancing up at the rooftop where her dark form stood. I can handle this.
The Martian looked at Aqua Lad, who nodded, understanding Robin's desire to win. She restrained herself, but reluctantly.
As Robin finally seemed to catch his breath, he began to get up. But another kick to the face sent him back to the ground, struggling to get back up. Panting, Robin forced himself up and into a fighting stance.
"C'mon out, Batsy!" the thug yelled at nothing. "Or," he thoughtfully looked at the boy who was sloppily charging into him. His fist that was slowly swung towards the thug's face was easily dodged. Robin received a punch in the gut, face, side, back, or chest for every stupid move he pulled. And tonight he seemed to be full of them. "Bird Boy didn't come alone did he?"
"No he didn't!" Suddenly, the whole team was there. Robin lay, panting, on the ground. His head drooped low in shame, and he was afraid to look up at his team mates; he was afraid of what he might see in their eyes, written so obviously on their faces. How could you be so stupid Robin?
"Dude," he felt KF's gloved hand lightly touch his shoulder, not quite patting it and not quite resting. Just gently hovering above him. "Are you,-"
"I'm fine." Robin jumped up, shrugging off his friend's hand and turning away without looked at them. He began walking towards the shadows, where he could hide away his humiliation in peace, where he could escape to get home and away from the disappointed expressions that he was sure was all over their faces. He knew it wouldn't be long before Bruce heard about it. He didn't want to talk about what just happened.
"Robin! Wait!" he heard Artemis scream after him. But he knew she couldn't see him. He knew he was hidden in the shadows, away from their faces and their sympathy. He didn't need it, and he certainly didn't want it.
He slipped into an alley and silently climbed the fire escape ladder. Once up on the roof, he stopped to look over the edge at his confused friends. Although they searched for their friend, they knew they'd never find him. When Robin wanted to disappear, he would disappear. He had, after all, been trained by one of the stealthiest men alive.
Ashamed, he turned away. He couldn't look at his friends right now. How could you be so stupid, Robin? He asked himself, although right now he felt a lot more like Dick Grayson than Robin. He ran at full speed across the rooftop, leaping from building to building.
That night…
Standing in front of the mirror, he felt paralyzed. His Robin uniform looked almost perfect, a little dirty and wrinkled, but the fabric had been designed for wear-and-tear. Slowly, his hand reached up to his face, rubbing the small dark bruise underneath his mask. Suddenly, angered with himself, he ripped the mask off, so that Robin no longer stared back at him. Now, he looked at the sapphire eyes of Dick Grayson. They looked so beautiful, yet empty.
Put the mask back on. Richard Grayson is nothing special. A voice in his head said. Perhaps the Richard Grayson half of him.
But Robin, the Boy Wonder, got the beat up by an everyday thug, a common criminal. Said the Robin in him, out of shame.
Robin is a hero! He is brave, fearless, he fights evil and protects the world on a daily basis. Dick Grayson is just a spoiled rich kid. The other voice retorted. He had grown used to arguing with himself about who he really was. It had been happening since he became Robin.
Robin is a failure. He doesn't deserve to be a hero if all a common thug has to do is push him around a little. He is a shame to the Justice League, to his team mates, and to his mentor. Wow. That one hurt more than he'd expected it to.
Suddenly, his mental argument was interrupted by a gentle knock on his bedroom door. He knew it was Bruce, and he knew what he wanted. He wished like hell he would just go away, but he knew that would not be happening. He had just head the slight click of metal as the knob turned and the door swung open.
"Dick?" he heard Bruce's voice filled with uneasiness. Apparently, he wasn't the only one not looking forward to the conversation at hand.
"I'm in here, Bruce." He said, stepping out of the bathroom. Bruce looked slightly shocked, but did his best to hide it, knowing the boy would take it as disappointment. Dick knew better though. Anyone else would have said that Bruce or Batman's features were as easy to read as a rock, but Dick and Robin could always tell. When you know someone like the two knew each other, you get to the point where you can practically read each other's minds.
"We should talk, about what happened tonight."
"I'm fine." Dick assured the man, who had made himself comfortable on the boy's perfectly made bed. "Really." He put on a smile, but Bruce could easily see it was fake.
"Just tell me what happened." Bruce said, patting the bed next to him as his saying, Sit down and tell me how bad you messed up.
Obeying the older man, Dick sat down. "I got cocky, and messed up. Then I let some stupid thug hand it to me." He said, holding back his disappointment in himself. He did well this time, for Bruce didn't notice it. But masking it didn't make it disappear, and Dick knew that better than most people.
"Well, next time, try to-,"
"There won't be a next time." The boy interrupted the older, shocking them both. His words were dripping with sorrow, but sadly he knew it was true. If he couldn't even take down a drug dealer, how could he handle all the other psychos of Gotham?
"What?" Bruce asked, confused.
"I can't be Robin. I obviously can't handle it, so I failed you. I'm sorry." He whispered this time, not bothering to hold back the disappointment, he was trying too hard to hold back the tears instead.
"Dick," Bruce started. "Just try again. You just messed up. Believe it or not, I did that once or twice." He chuckled slightly to himself, as if remembering fond memories. "Clear your head and it won't happen again."
Slightly smiling, Dick let a small, almost inaudible laugh escape his lips. "Thanks." Was all he said. And with that, the older man got up and left, feeling he had comforted the boy.
As the door clicked shut, he remained on the bed. He realized he was still wearing his Robin uniform, but he didn't care. The only thing that changed when Bruce left was the smile on his face as it slowly morphed into a frown. The fingers of rain began lightly tapping his window, matching his mood. Suddenly, he felt a small buzz.
He reached into his utility belt and pulled out a small phone. It was one of those fancy phones that only rich people get. Looking at it, he felt more like the average Dick Grayson than ever. He turned it on, noticing he had a text.
"Hey, dude." The screen showed him the words, and in his voice Wally read them in an excited voice.
"Hi." He replied, knowing Wally would soon bring it up.
He looked down at his phone, now freaking out in the palm of his hand. INCOMING CALL: WALLY. Underneath the flashing words was a picture of Robin and Wally doing bunny ears on one another.
"Hello?" Robin said, his voice boring and flat.
"Hey!" Wally exclaimed. "I didn't think you'd pick up." He admitted a bit sheepishly.
"I didn't want to." Robin said, just a little too harshly. He could tell his friend's mood had been dampened slightly y the remark. "Sorry. Just… Not feeling very whelmed right now." Robin said, trying to clear his heads from the events of that night.
"It's cool." Wally half-heartedly murmured. "Are you going to the mountain tomorrow?" he asked.
"Probably not, why?" Dick responded, his voice so emotionless Wally had to remind himself it wasn't Batman on the phone.
"M'gann is throwing this huge party. She told me to make sure you come." Wally said, sounding a little depressed due to his friend's lack of happiness. This whole thing must have affected him more than he first thought.
"Dick?" Wally said, the silence boring him.
"Yeah, I'll think about it." The thirteen year-old's voice was grave, and seemed distant.
"Rob, are you okay?" There it was. Those dreadful words he had been hoping would not come. But they echoed in his head and he knew he had to pretend everything was okay.
"Yeah, I'm fine." Robin, no Dick, he didn't know anymore who had responded. His fake excitement was almost believable. But Wally knew better."I'll be there." He promised his friend.
"Alright, call me if-,"
"I will." He hung up the phone. He knew what the end of that sentence would be, and he didn't want to hear it. Call me if you can't handle yourself, Dick. But he couldn't.
He stood up, pulling his tunic over his head and tossing it carelessly across the room. He heard his phone buzzing again and say the picture of him and Wally.
"Leave me alone, Wally!" he screamed, clenching his fist around the buzzing phone. He heard the plastic shell cracking, and suddenly threw the phone angrily at the wall. Powder fluttered through the air as the phone exploded on impact into the now broken dry wall.
He walked back into the bathroom, shedding his body of the rest of the uniform. He looked at himself in the mirror. Now staring back at him was Richard Grayson, the happy, freshman, genius. But he didn't want to be Richard Grayson. He wanted to be Robin.
But weren't they the same person? Underneath the mask, Robin was just Dick Grayson. He was just a child pretending to be a hero.
No. They weren't the same. Robin was a hero. He'd never lost. Not until tonight, anyway. Dick Grayson was just some kid, wise cracking at adults and playing with the English language.
Standing there, staring into the mirror, he decided he needed to get away. He needed to stop looking at this, stop questioning himself. He was a hero. He'd saved countless lives, including Batman's. He looked on the floor, spotting his Robin mask crumpled up. He reached down, picked it up, and looked at it, hanging limply hanging in his hands. He put it back on his face, masking his beautiful blue eyes. Looking back on the mirror, he looked odd in his boxers and Robin mask, but he felt better slightly.
Exiting the bathroom once more, he noticed the rain had picked up slightly. Above the tapping of rain, he heard another knock and the concerned voice of Alfred on the other end.
Suddenly, he didn't want to be there anymore. He didn't know where he'd rather be, but anywhere but here. Anywhere but this prison of a life. Impulsively, he opened his window. Poking his head out, he saw a rain gutter trailing down the side of his house. He grabbed a hold of it, pulling himself into the accelerating rain. He began to slowly climb, using the brick house to push up.
He lay facing up, his hands behind his head as the rain plastered his ebony hair to his forehead. His masked eyes were closed behind the mask, raindrops exploding on his body and the shingles surrounding it. He opened his eyes when he heard his name through the darkness.
"I'm on the roof, Alfred!" he shouted through the night.
"Master Dick, I do wish you would come down from there!" he heard Alfred call. "You will catch a cold out in the rain like that!"
"I'm fine, Alfred!" he replied, his annoyance tampering with his tone. Why can't anyone just leave me alone today? He thought. He didn't want to go back. He wanted to be alone right now, away from all this, where he could just take a moment and not think about anyone except himself. Whoever I am… he quickly erased that thought from his mind. He felt so trapped.
Not that he'd never been trapped before. He'd been kidnapped by too many times to count.
But this was different. He was trapped in his life, in his own confusion. He lacked a family. No, he had a family, it just wasn't the same though. He was trapped in his same routine, he wanted to do something impulsive and reckless. There was no room for recklessness in Robin's life. And Dick Grayson wasn't impulsive.
He no longer wanted to be Robin, or Dick Grayson. He could make up a new alter ego, and go somewhere else. Somewhere where his humiliation wouldn't follow him. He knew that that thug would be so delighted to tell everyone at Arkham about how he'd beaten Boy Wonder. Everyone would know. The villains would use that against him. He didn't know how, but they would.
"Dick!" he heard Bruce call. The concern echoed through the words that filled the darkness.
"Yes, Bruce?" Dick called back in mock excitement, just like all those preppy boys on old television shows.
"Come inside."
Batman mode: engaged. Dick thought to himself. He found himself smirking at his own mental remark.
"It's late, Dick. Come inside."
Not wanting to argue right now, he stood up. Before beginning the climb back to his room, he took off the soaking Robin mask. Crumpling it into his fist, he hid it from sight. He jumped back into his room, little water droplets falling to their deaths on the hard wood floor. Alfred and Bruce looked away from the soaking wet thirteen year old in his boxers.
Awkwardly, Bruce left the room, murmuring good night to both of the others. After bidding Dick a good night's rest, Alfred did the same. Dick found himself alone in his room, his shame and humiliation radiating off the walls. It seemed like that's how it always was.
So….? Love it, hate it, I don't care. Review it. Again, I was just kind of venting. It's not an actual story, just me putting my thoughts on paper. Or screen, whatever the case may be.
However, as I was writing, I did kind of come up with a few places to take this story. If I get a satisfying amount of reviews, I'll pick one and go with it. If not, I'll probably upload another chapter and leave it at that. So, tell me what you think. Thanks for reading!
