Getafix Pick-Me-Ups
Naruto
In a certain village of indomitable Gauls back in the year 48 B.C. there was a certain druid mixing up a vat of potion. As he was stiring the cauldron he was surprised by a certain man boulder. "Oh Druid is the potion ready yet?"
Getfix jumped and knocked a transportation medallion he usually kept for emergencies into the potion with a great flash the entire potion and cauldron disappeared in a flash of light.
Konoha
One young Naruto Uzumaki was heading for the training grounds where he would be given a final gennin exam from his new Sensei Kakashi when, with a sudden flash of light, a huge iron cauldron fell out of the sky and, because of its upside-down position, pinned the boy under it. The weight made a partial seal and prevented the liquid in the cauldron from splashing out; all was silent for a while, then "Yahooo! The iron cauldron went flying through the stratosphere, and off into the horizon. Naruto had thrown the cauldron, and was now glowing a golden color.
He immediately started to run like a bullet for the training grounds, not even noticing the fact that he was punching holes through large trees or make the ground rumble with each step.
"The objective is to get these bells from me. A word of advice, if you come with less than the intent to kill than you won't pass." Kakashi grinned then tapped the timer to start it. "The test starts…now!"
KERPOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kakashi is slammed by a inhumanly fast haymaker from Naruto and he is sent through one- BOOM! …er two- BOOM! … uh, three? SPLAT! ugh!
Make that through three trees, three trees and stopped by a particularly hard boulder. Naruto stared for a moment, then with a sheepish grin trotted over to where the stunned pile of pain was peeling of the rock.
Naruto walked back to his shell-shocked teammates and said, "Ugh I guess we pass?"
A fly landed in Sakura's open mouth and wandered around on her tongue, she never moved a muscle.
"Get down!" was the shout by Kakashi as a huge sword came spinning through the air straight for Kakashi and the others, most of the group hit dirt except for Naruto who grabbed the thing and held it like a tooth-pick he hefted it for a moment then sent the thing off into the horizon.
"AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH! My Sword!!! You Bastards!! I'll Kill You!" Out of the trees came a tall masked man with murder in his eyes and was holding a kunai in one hand and his other was in a clawing position. Naruto cocked back one hand and sent a haymaker in the man's brisket that sent the man clean over the horizon as well.
"Man what was with that guy? Some people are crazy!"
Thud! Out of a tree fell the young girl Huku.(I really don't care either way what Haku's real gender was but female usually makes for more funny;)
Naruto stared at the unconscious girl and said, "Wave people are crazy!"
It was a pretty ordinary day for Ichraku Ramen stand until old man Teuchi happened to see a orange shape coming. He immedietly slammed a big red button, started a siren to start blaring and while Teuchi hollerd commands, "Batten down the hatches, start the pots, get the noodles ready, chop the ingredients, battle stations people, HE is coming!"
"Hey old man! Give me a hundred of everything, I not all that hungry today." The only thing that kept the old man going through these frenzies was the fact that the boy was single-handedly funding the Ichiraku family's private yacht and island getaway.
Orochimaru was in disguise toying with young Sasuke Uchiha and was about to go on the attack again, when, BOOOM! The snake he had summoned before crashed into a tree and caused part of the tree to crack and fall of the rest of the forest giant. While Orochi maru tried to understand what the hell just happened, he was blindsided by the mother of all sucker punches. The snake was slammed through the tree and made a large crater into the ground.
Orochimaru pulled himself out of the ditch and leaped at his attacker who turned out to be the Kyuubi vessel. Thinking he had tapped into the fox, Orochimaru made a five prong seal and slammed it into Naruto's gut. There was a flash of Chakra and Naruto was blasted backwards. "Well that takes care of that little nuisance, now on to-" BOOOM!!! Orochimaru was once again sucker punched by the blonde-haired stick of dynamite. Again and again the punches came until in an explosion of smoke the Snake Bastard disappeared to lick his wounds (not literally ya' sick freaks though with that tongue who knows, blech!)
"This next match will be between Naruto Uzumaki and Kiba Inuzaka, 3…2…1…Figh-" KER-WHAMMO! "Uh fight goes to… uh… Naruto Uzumaki?"
"I will not allow my existence to cease!" The collosol sand badger thing howled at the tops of its lungs. As Gaara roared his rage he failed to notice that the tip of his sand form was grabbed by the little orange grease stain and then he was being spun around like a lasso and then was flung right for the village, where he happened to burn out a certain barrier that was containing a certain still mildly mangled Orochimaru and Sarutobi who was doing better then he would have otherwise.
"I'll make you a deal, if you can make me use more than on finger, I'll give you my necklace." Said Tsunade of the Sannin.
"You'll have to use everything you got to beat me granny!"
"Oh yea you little punk!"
"I'M NOT SHORT!" WHAMMO!
"So what happens if I actually beat you granma? Granma? You awake?"
No answer was given from an unconscious Tsunade, or a shell-shocked Shizune, or even a Jiraiya was on his knees praising Kami for finally sending a protector for him from the punch of doom, after all aren't students supposed to aide their masters anyway they can?
Sakura was waiting at the gates for the others to come back from their mission after Sasuke. Soon there was an odd shape coming over the horizon and soon she could make out a grinning Naruto along with the others looking no worse for wear though a little stunned. Across Naruto's back was an unconscious Sasuke along with the rest of the Sound Five and one Kimmimaro.
And where was Hinata after all these shenanigans? In a deep dark cellar of the Hyuuga compound there is one bloody and bruised Hiashi Hyuuga chained to the wall. "Now Father what was your answer about me and Naruto-kun?"
"Alright! You can date him, you can marry him! Hell, I'll pay for the entire wedding, honeymoon, and your first house!" He croaked out.
"Oh thank-you Papa! I knew that I could change your mind and I know you'll love Naruto-kun once you get to know him." She smiled widely and skipped her way out of the cellar, leaving Hiashi behind.
"Hey! Get me out of these things!"
