Promises
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or places from Star Wars. They belong to George Lucas and Siri Tachi belongs to Jude Watson
Over shifting sand dunes and through a twisting path, steep canyon walls rising on each side there laid a barren land known as the Dune Sea. Past that, there was nothing but sand with no shade of which to speak, nor any sign of life, except for one.
A lone figure stood there, sand shifting all around him. A few dozen yards behind him stood a small hut, the walls white from the relentless beating of the twin suns, which were now lowering in the sky.
"You need to stop worrying so much."
Even without turning, Obi-Wan knew who it was. Her voice used to aggravate him as young teenagers, often because it was a sarcastic comment or a joke made at his expense. That changed though and one day he realized it did not bother him. In fact, while he would never admit it, he did not mind the jokes because it meant he could hear the voice that had captivated him and the familiar sparkling blue eyes. They were the same blue eyes that had haunted him in his dreams. Sometimes he slept well, those eyes laughing with or at him, a memory of better times. Often though, he had a reoccurring nightmare. It always started with Anakin. Anakin was his failure for he had not wanted to see what others had. He remembered the duel that he thought had killed the man who was like a brother to him. Those yellow, angry piercing eyes then turned into blue eyes full of pain, though trying to be brave. Then those eyes closed and all was dark.
"You never can just greet me with a simple hello, can you?" Obi-Wan asked his companion, still looking into the horizon toward the two suns that were setting. It should have been peaceful, but the red reminded him of the blood that had been shed during those long years of war and he knew that soon nighttime would fall. He hated the night. His nightmare would wake him up with the pain so fresh it was like a monster, tearing at him. There had been nights when the pain had been too much to handle and he had broken down in tears. Tears he had never shed until now. For all that he had lost, for all the galaxy had lost.
"I would, if it was not for the fact that each time I see you, you are worrying about something," came the reply. While he still had not turned, he could imagine how she was standing. One hand on her hips, eyes watching him for some sort of reaction. While her tone might have been firm, it held a joking underlying to it. Oh Force, he missed that.
"I have a lot to worry about," he answered, finally turning around. He was right. There she was, standing just as he thought. Her blue eyes were studying him, head cocked slightly to one side. She was wearing a Jedi tunic, pants, and boots, instead of the unisuit she sometimes wore. She said liked it more, but sometimes he was certain she did it just to see the reaction of the other Jedi. Her blonde hair was a bit longer than it had been as a Padawan and now it moved slightly as if by a very light breeze. Force, she was so beautiful.
"You know I never liked to hear that," she spoke.
"Are you a mind reader now?" he asked, a hint of teasing in his voice that he had not used in a long time.
"You are not good at masking your feelings with me," she replied, taking a few steps closer.
"I used to. However, who would I mask them from out here?" He moved his hand to take in the desolate terrain; sand as far as the eye could see and dunes that were constantly changing in the ever present wind.
"You don't have to worry about him, you know. Luke is safe here," she spoke, going back to her earlier topic.
"You must be a mind reader," he gave a wry smile.
"Well, maybe it is because you worry constantly about the same thing. Or maybe death truly has given me the power to read your mind."
Obi-Wan winced at this. She often greeted him in the same manner, and their banter had become something he had begun to look forward to. Sometimes days went by without it, and sometimes these visits would last an entire day.
"Obi-Wan, there was nothing you could have done."
"Ben," he corrected her. It was his true birth name. His parents had been well known on their home planet, and he had been named for his father. The Jedi had changed his name in case anyone attempted to make the connection and problems occurred. "And if only I had known…"
"It doesn't suit you. And no one could have known."
"Ferus did. I didn't want to believe him, or the Council. I truly thought he would have brought balance to the Force. Instead…" he trailed off.
Neither of them had to finish the thought for they both knew what few others did. Anakin Skywalker had not been killed in the purge. Darth Vader had killed him, from a certain point of view. It did not help Obi-Wan with the guilt he was feeling. Anakin had betrayed the Jedi and become a Sith Lord.
He was so lost in thought that he did not see her come closer. It was not until he felt the cool sensation of her closeness. When she had been alive, such closeness would have caused his temperature to rise. The coolness she brought with her now was just as welcome, especially in the heat that bore down upon him on a daily basis.
When he came back to the moment, he found her blue eyes looking back at him, concerned. Those eyes. Force, those same eyes could haunt him nightly, or could bring him the only joy he could find on this outer rim planet. It gave him hope. While the twins were the last hope for the galaxy, Obi-Wan found it hard to hold onto that hope.
"Siri, I wish you were here with me. Truly here. You are the only thing that keeps me sane."
"Talking to a dead person means you are sane?" she joked in her usual sarcastic manner.
"You know what I mean," he replied then sighed, looking back at the sunset. One of the suns was now below the horizon and the shadows were growing longer. He used to not mind the dim lighting during meditation at the Temple, but here it worried him. He was afraid that something would be lurking there. Hiding. Waiting to attack him, or worse, find Luke.
He felt cool fingers slip into his and felt her tuck on his arm. "Come on, Kenobi. Let's go inside."
Obi-Wan let her lead him inside without protest. Just feeling her like this made him feel more alive, unlike the shell of the man he felt like he was. He knew only a special bond, as well as being able to use the Force would allow him to feel her. Sometimes he was able to and sometimes they passed right through one another.
The hut was small, yet clean. Obi-Wan made sure that there was no sand scattered on the floor by cleaning it at least twice a day. The walls were clean and smooth and the small amount of furniture he had was kept in good condition. He also made his bed with such perfection that it looked as if no one had ever slept in it. It was toward this that Siri led him.
Seeing this, Obi-Wan shook his head. "Siri, no." He slept because he knew he had to, but that did not mean he liked it.
"Stop being so stubborn," she told him firmly. "I'm not going to use a sleep suggestion on you." Back when there had been a Jedi Order, sometimes Masters had to use sleep suggestions to help younglings sleep if they were having a hard time or were unwilling.
"Then what…" he stopped as Siri put a finger to his lips. It was cool and a strange relief to his dry lips. With her other hand, she pulled him gently onto the bed so he was next to her. They looked at each other for a moment and Siri moved her hand and touched his beard. "You really should shave."
"I have had it for years. Why change now?"
"I always thought you should shave. You looked younger without it."
"I wanted to look mature like…" he trailed off.
"Like Qui-Gon," she finished. Obi-Wan nodded. He had started to grow it after Qui-Gon's death and while he kept it trimmed, he would not shave it.
"It is starting to turn gray, isn't it?" he asked her. "And don't lie to me."
"Only a little. I think you still have awhile before you have to worry about that."
"I never did worry about it. Should I start to?" he gave her a teasing smile.
"Star's sake, are you making a list?"
"Not yet," he answered good naturedly, and then sighed deeply, small smile fading. "It was not supposed to be like this. Even if he was no longer a Jedi, things still could have been alright. The Chancellor would have been destroyed. He would have been with Padme and his children. The Jedi Order would still be here and you-"
"Don't torture yourself with these thoughts," Siri interrupted.
"Might still be here," he finished. "You might have joined me on the Council."
"The Council members would never agree to that. Besides, I think I would get too bored there."
All the memories were coming back to the older Jedi now and Siri slowly helped ease him so he was lying down. She stretched out beside him. While Obi-Wan had aged only five years, it seemed as if it had been at least a decade. Siri on the other hand, looked as young and vibrant as she had in life, never aging.
The two of them looked at each other, silently. The seriousness of moment was like a blanket and for once, Siri did not make some joke to lighten the mood.
"Siri, I love you," he told her.
"Well, I would hope so," she gave a small smile. "I wouldn't give my warming stone to just anyone."
Obi-Wan's hand went to his chest. He wore the stone on a leather cord so that, like Siri, it was close to his heart. Now he felt it warm slightly, as it did when Siri was near. Unlike the warmth of wanting, this was a loving warmth. Siri had never said that she loved him, but she didn't have to. They both knew it.
"Siri, if I would have asked you a specific question, what would you have said?"
"That would depend on the question. If you really do think I am a mind reader, you must have too much sand in your head."
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Would you have married me?"
Siri looked surprised and it showed in the flicker that went over her. "But the Code…"
"I mean if it was like now. If there was no more Code. Or if the war was over and we had both survived."
Siri thought it over for a moment, considering it. She was a Jedi, just like Obi-Wan. He was right though. After the war, things might have been different if the Order had survived. And now, with the way things could have been if she had survived…
"Yes, I would have," she answered.
A light came to Obi-Wan's eyes, one that Siri had not seen in quite some time. "Say that again," he requested, voice low and quiet.
"I would have married you," she nodded. She leaned over and kissed him. It was a cool feeling but it made his heart beat faster and he felt warmth spread all over him. She had one hand on the side of his face, the other she was using for support. One of his hands went to her waist while the other was also used to keep him propped. When Siri finally pulled back, Obi-Wan was breathless. He also could not speak at first. He opened his mouth and then closed it a few times until he finally found his voice.
"You are amazing."
"It took you long enough to figure that out," she smirked and rested her head on his pillow. He did the same and she noticed the circles under his eyes. He did not sleep well. She sometimes came to him when he slept and would help calm him. He would thrash in bed, crying out, reliving the worst moments of his life over and over. Sometimes she would talk to him and sometimes would gently brush her hand over his face. She did not tell him that though. First of all, that was not something she felt like admitting. Being considered strong was something she always prided herself in. Also, she liked to think it was better that he felt it was by his own doing that some of the dreams were good. "Get some rest."
"I am not tired," he insisted.
"You are a horrible liar. Just sleep and I will stay here." She never had to sleep, but she would watch him and hopefully help him have good dreams.
"Do you promise?" he asked. He wished he knew what it would be like to sleep with Siri beside him every night, but would settle for just the night. She might be a ghost, but she had returned to him.
"I promise," she answered and kissed his cheek. It was a cool sensation that, for a moment, brought him peace. He could force himself to forget about the Purge, the war and his isolation on Tatooine. He was just going to relax, close his eyes, and think about the fact that, if she had survived, Siri would be his wife. It was not a lot, but it was something. Something he could cling to, knowing she loved him, even though the years had not been kind to him. His last conscious thought before sleep over took him was the memory of being curled up next to Siri on the possibly doomed ship. Even in that situation, he was happy that they were together. It had been a hopeless situation, but with Siri in his arms, he found it impossible to lose all hope. As long as she was with him, in one way or another, he could never completely lose hope.
As he slipped away into a deep sleep, Siri watched his features slacken, the worry lines lessening, his breathing deepening and becoming more even.
"I promise. I will never leave you. Ever," she whispered as she settled in to watch over him for the long, dark Tatooine night to keep his nightmares at bay and give him a glimmer of hope, like a lone, lit candle in a dark room. It was small, but there. Siri had never broken a promise and would never break one. The promise she made that night, while the conditions were unspoken, was to stay by his side until daybreak. With the dawning of the suns, a new day would also arise. Each morning, Obi-Wan remembered the promises he had made. The one to protect a young child named Luke. Jedi did not break their promises. Luke would be kept safe by Obi-Wan and Siri would never leave him. She would be there, one way or another. She had promised him that she would never leave him and she never would.
"I promise."
