"Well, I guess I'll see you next Saturday, senpai!" Isshiki Iroha said this as we walked side by side towards the train station.
I replied with a grunt and continued walking, shrugging off the mock angry stare she was giving me. I was no longer affected by it, seeing as I've experienced it countless times already.
"Senpai!" she whined, "Did you hear what I said?"
"Yes, yes. See you next Saturday, as usual."
"Jeez, would it kill you to reply with words?" As a matter of fact, yes. I believe some questions should be answered with body language. It saves both parties from exchanging meaningless pleasantries and is ruthlessly efficient.
Now, if only society would stop labelling it as rude and standoffish. I grinned at that thought.
"Ew, gross." She said, looking at me with a crinkle in her forehead. Ah, if only my kouhai could be as cute and polite as the ones in anime.
"Is this how you treat someone who paid for your dinner?" I said.
"Nope!" Isshiki declared it with a smile so dazzling I almost had to shield my eyes, "Only you, senpai." Is that an insult or compliment? Bah, who cares? At this point, my Hachiman armour can shrug off those pebbles with ease. Unlike the Ice-Queen's silver bullets, Iroha's can barely graze me.
"I'm honoured." I said, rolling my eyes as we both entered the train station.
The train that soon arrives is pleasantly empty, and we sit in the empty seats by the door. We strike up a conversation and exchange more insults. Before I knew it, my stop was approaching, and I stood up in preparation for its arrival at the station. And then it hit me.
"Oi, Isshiki. How long are you going to make me hold your bag?" I asked, staring down at the paper bag in my hand.
I just realised I've been holding them for the entire day. She'd insisted we go shopping before the movie and I'd ended up carrying the skirt she'd snatched off the mannequin. As expected from the female species. We males were but slaves to their will.
The fox that was my kouhai pretended to gasp in surprise, but I could see amusement in her eyes. You can't fool Hikigaya Hachiman!
"Right, thanks for holding it for me!" she giggled and held out her hand. With a soft grumble I handed her the bag, and received a cheeky 'cheese!' hand sign in return. This brat was really getting on my nerves…
I got off at my stop and waved goodbye, standing on the platform as the train sped away. I checked my watch. Geh, it was already nine pm?!
Komachi was going to kill me. Maybe I should buy a snack for her on the way home, or my Hachiman points would be in the negative.
To my surprise, Komachi wasn't mad at all. She was grinning widely and looked immensely scary. How can my imouto look so scary and still be so cute? It must be the genes. Were the men in my family cursed with dead fish eyes? I feel sorry for my future nephew. Not that I'd let anyone marry my imouto. Especially not Kawasomething's brother.
"Soooo," she sang as she danced circles around me. Did I trigger a flag of some sort? Why was she so excited? I've taken great pains to avoid the siscon route, though I wouldn't complain if it happened. "How was your date with Iroha-chan?"
I cleared my throat. "Er, practice date you mean? It went fine. Have some faith in your onii-chan." I gave her the plastic bag that contained some convenience store snacks – the cheap kind that wouldn't bankrupt you. Years of being sent to buy them have trained me into the ultimate penny-pincher when it came to choosing delicious but affordable snacks. Banzai! "Here are snacks for Komachi."
"Practice date?" she said, "Onii-chan, you can't be that dense, right?"
Now it was my turn to be confused. "Didn't I tell you? Isshiki is just going on these 'dates' for practice when she goes out with Hayama."
I made sure to tell Komachi to not misunderstand the situation when I first started going out on Saturdays. It would be suspicious if my Holy Saturdays were being spent outside, so I told her beforehand to prevent misunderstandings.
Knowing the god of romcom, Komachi would see us somewhere and get the wrong idea.
"Didn't she already confess to him?"
"Well, yeah." Thinking about destiny land made me annoyed. That blonde riajuu can just go explode, dammit. "But she hasn't given up."
Komachi sighed and gave me a disappointed look. Oi, oi. What did I do to deserve that?
"I can't believe it. My onii-chan is an idiot," she muttered. "You damned Hachiman." My name is being used as an insult again. Am I going to get a dragon and lose a leg, too? "How long have you and Iroha-chan been going out for these dates?"
"Like I said, they're not real dates."
"Just answer the question!" Komachi pouted and crossed her arms.
"Whatever. Let me think." I shut my eyes and try to recall when we started hanging out. We would meet at a park if I was low on money, or else we'd be at Chiba, playing ping pong or shopping for whatever stuff Isshiki wanted. If she felt really luxurious, we'd watch a movie or something. I mentally counted the days in my head and looked at Komachi. "Around three months…?"
Komachi let out another loud, exaggerated sigh. "Onii-chan," she said, exasperated. It reminded me how our mother spoke when we refused to get up in the mornings. "A girl would not go out with you for that long if she were just practicing. A few weeks, maybe, but three months? Impossible!"
I thought about her words for a minute. She had a point…but no no no, Iroha liked Hayama! She even said so during our second or third practice date.
But come to think of it…she stopped talking about him soon after. In fact, I haven't heard anything about him for months. But not talking about him didn't mean her feelings for him were gone. I sighed. There was only one way to clear up this misunderstanding.
I looked at Komachi, who was standing impatiently by the sofa.
"I'll call her and ask."
I look longingly at my vita-chan before throwing myself onto the bed.
This is paradise! The silence, the air-conditioned air, and the freedom. This was what Saturdays were meant to be about.
I held up my phone and stared at Iroha's contact number. I'd debated on using RINE to send her a message but she might go into one of her rejection spiels again, so it'd be better to call. No one wants to see something like that in their chat history.
I sighed. This was way too troublesome. Maybe I was just worrying too much about this. I was 98% sure my kouhai still liked the riajuu. With another sigh, I sat up and peeled off my socks and left them by the bed.
Maybe I'll play my vita-chan before I take a bath. I stood up with that thought in mind and sauntered over to my desk, where I caught sight of something.
The notebook had an obnoxious, flowery cover. I ran my hand over the indented designs – which felt surprisingly high quality – and flipped it open.
Happy Birthday, Senpai! :D
The smiley face caught me off guard. "Oh wait. Isshiki came over to deliver this present didn't she?"
I sucked in a breath. With that thought I suddenly started looking for suspicious items scattered around my room, and caught sight of several things.
That scrapbook displayed on the shelf. From where I stood, I could see several pictures that had me and my kouhai in various poses, some far too intimate to be called merely 'friendly'.
When had that been there?! Oh, wait…that was when she made us trade gifts. I'd given her some kind of knitted scarf and she'd given me that.
That snow globe by the window. That was from when we visited the Snow Park. I caught a cold after we went and she had texted me non-stop. Not that I needed her comfort, my loner abilities allowed me to recover from it fairly quickly anyway. That and my mother's chicken soup.
That bra hanging on the– wait a sec. What the hell, Komachi? You can't go leaving that in your onii-chan's room! If any friends visited, they would think I'm a pervert.
"Like that would happen." I had no friends anyway. I rubbed my face in silent distress.
My god. I've been dating Isshiki, haven't I?
But no. That fox of a kouhai would never allow such a thing, right? I was the dead eyed fish, Hikigaya Hachiman!
I grabbed my phone and dialled her number. I needed to check with her before I exploded from overthinking. I didn't want to go to soul society and become a shinigami!
I held the phone to my ear and waited anxiously for her to pick up.
"Hello~"
The cuteness meter for that greeting was off the charts. Calm down, Hachiman, you're already getting swept away.
"Hey. I just wanted to confirm something." I said, satisfied that I'd kept voice from shaking.
"Could it be?" she gasped, "You want me to come over? I'm sorry, things are moving too fast, even if I'm dating you, I still can't." There it is. The classic reject– wait. Did she just...
"Senpai? Senpaiii? Are you thereeeee?"
"Yes."
"So, what did you call me for? I'm about to take a bath, so can we wrap up this talk before it gets cold? I know your natural habitat is that of cold water, but still." Cruel. So cruel, this girl is.
I shook my head before summoning my non-existent courage to finally ask, "Isshiki. Are we dating?"
"Yep. Why?"
Critical hit. She answered it so casually that my rotten heart took the full brunt of the attack. This sly fox was definitely out to get me.
"W-We are? I thought it was just," I said, fumbling with my words, "practice, or something?"
"It was, at first. But I think it's obvious who I like now." I could practically imagine this brat giving me a cute smile that could rival Totsuka's. I clenched my fists. Shit, be still my beating heart!
…ugh, this inner monologue was getting embarrassing.
"Um, so we're a c-couple?"
She hummed. "Not really. After all, you haven't asked me to be your girlfriend yet, senpai."
This development was seriously scary. I feel like I'd just been caught in a trap laid out by a predator. I feel like I'm the heroine in a visual novel who just triggered the flag of his love interest.
No. It was obviously the opposite, she'd triggered mine.
"Buuut, I won't let you ask me over the phone! You can do it tomorrow, since its Sunday."
You may be able take my Saturdays, but will not take my Sundays. "I refuse."
"Too bad," Isshiki sang, "But luckily for you, I'm nice, so I'll come over tomorrow! Now you won't have anything to complain about. See you~"
She hung up before I'd gotten the chance to get any words in. With groan, I fell face first into my bed. I think I've gotten mixed up with someone troublesome…
So. I've been in oregairu heaven/hell for the past weeks. And of course, I end up going for the pairing that will never be canon. :')
Next chapter won't be up so soon, but it'll be set several years after Hikigaya and Iroha start dating. Thanks for reading!
