This is a oneshot that I came up with on a sudden whim. It's untitled because I had no idea what to call it. Regardless, I still think it's pretty good and it has that Christmassy feel. By the way, the narration is from Kyon's POV.
December 8.
It's a week before the Christmas Break and the snow was falling like morning dandruff. You can never get that stuff out, no matter how much Head and Shoulders you apply. Great. Listen to me ramble. Anyway, I decided to spend my Saturday afternoon buying presents for my friends. I only knew where Nagato lived because she took me there herself, so I decided I had to work quickly in order to get presents for Haruhi, Koizumi, and Miss Asahina (especially Miss Asahina). I would give them their stuff during the next SOS Brigade meeting, provided Haruhi tells me about it, of course. After spending time with them during Brigade meetings, I've decided on the following.
Since Haruhi was so interested in aliens, time travelers, espers, and stuff like that, I bought her a movie called Evolution. Despite the fact that it was an American made movie, it wasn't half bad.
Miss Asahina was basically like a big child. A very beautiful child with the perfect body whom I would like to take to the movies sometime. Of course, Haruhi's world-resetting disposition would never allow it. Regardless, I decided to buy her a stuffed yellow mouse that my sister seemed to be into.
Despite the fact that I didn't have a thing for glasses, I decided to buy Miss Nagato a new pair of thin reading glasses. You know, the kind that fold up into this little skinny case. I didn't know whether or not they would work for her eyes, but then I figured she would just reconfigure them for herself anyway. Besides, I had a feeling she didn't know much about Earth holidays anyway.
I had no clue what to get for Koizumi. As much as I can barely stand the guy, he's helped me get out of hairy situations before, like that thing with the camel cricket. What do you buy for an esper anyway?
As for Taniguchi and Kunikida? Tch. Who cares?
Anyway, it is now 4:00 and I just finished my shopping for today…
"Hey! Kyon!"
…when that annoying voice struck my ear like a punch in the head. Haruhi Suzumiya came running my way and her heels actually screeched when she stopped in front of me. I half-expected her to slam into me. Wait, how do you "half-expect" something?
"Like I know," Haruhi answered.
"What are you doing here, anyway?"
"What do you think, stupid?" Haruhi said in her usual mean tone. "I'm continuing the SOS Brigade's neverending quest to find aliens, time travelers, and espers!"
Is that what the shopping bags are for?
"Even a girl like me has time for the holidays. It's a really busy time of the year."
I don't doubt that. "So what's in the bags, Haruhi?"
"Presents! I personally like the one I got for Mikuru the most. Lemme show you!"
Haruhi got a present for Miss Asahina? Well, that's enough to make me smile any day of the…
"Check this out!"
Plaid miniskirt. White blouse. Hair wraps. Fishnet stockings. Did she plan to make Miss Asahina dress like a naughty schoolgirl? Haruhi Suzumiya, are you trying to make me nosebleed?!
"Don't be an idiot." Haruhi said, stuffing the clothes back in the bag with a huff. Once again, we found ourselves walking the same way home. I sometimes wondered if Haruhi was stalking me or something. And for some reason, she kept glancing at me as though she expected me to explode or something. Look, if you want something, then just say it already!
"Fine, I will!" Haruhi said, almost angrily. "There's…something that's been bugging me for a while."
Tell me something that doesn't bug you. We had stopped in front of the train crossing gate which had just lowered when she asked me this. What was going through her mind? Was she finally going to admit her everlasting love for me?
"What's your real name?"
Yeah, right. Like that'll happen. Actually, I was expecting this particular question even less. I was just getting used to her calling me "Lackey #2."
"Look. I don't really care or anything. I-It's just for club dynamics, okay? So just tell me your name and we can go our separate ways from here!"
Wait. Rewind that. Did she just stutter? What's up with that? She was good at making lies before when she blackmailed the guys from the Computer Research Club. Regardless, the thing was obviously a big deal for her so I told her. Coincidentally, the usual train passed by the crossing gate at that exact same time and I'm not sure whether she heard me or not, but whether she had some sort of telepathy or could just read lips, I think she got the message. Wait…what's with that face? What are you smiling about, Haruhi?
"You have such a stupid name!"
Haruhi doubled over laughing and held onto her stomach. What the hell was that about?! What was so stupid about my name anyway?! All of a sudden, Haruhi grabbed my shoulder to hold herself up, but I was so unbalanced with Christmas stuff that we both actually fell over. As the snow continued to fall, I could only continue to stare at Haruhi's grinning face.
"I like Kyon better."
I really wish people would stop calling me that.
So. What's Kyon's real name? Pfft. Like I know.
Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu/The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya belongs to Nagaru Tanigawa
EVOLUTION belongs to Ivan Reitman
Pikachu (stuffed yellow mouse) belongs to Nintendo/GameFreak
