It wasn't as bad as it could have been.
The words had float among the cool stilled air of the hospital.
It wasn't as bad as it could have been.
It wasn't as good as it could have been.
If there was a god, if there was someone listening, it would be Maggie in that bed. Maggie with the cracked ribs and gunshot wound. Maggie with the hospital gown crisp and white, matching the sparse hospital room.
If it was Maggie, the cries of Kara wouldn't have ricocheted throughout the warehouse. If it were her, the blonde woman wouldn't have fallen apart in front of her. If it were Maggie, the world would keep spinning.
But it wasn't.
It wasn't Maggie in that bed; The world wasn't spinning.
Maggie's world wasn't spinning.
Alex.
Alex; The strong woman rushing head first into battle to save everyone, her bulletproof sister included. Alex; The woman who teased Winn mercilessly, the woman who was loved by so many.
The woman who was loved by her.
If it were Maggie, things would be better. She's sure of it. No parent would drop the phone in worry as the news was delivered, like Eliza had done mere minutes before, not if it were her.
Maggie can't help but blink back her tears as she clings to Alex's cool hand. She has to be strong for two of the strongest people she has ever met. She has to be the comfort Kara needs, and the calm Alex will cling to when she wakes up.
She would wake up.
The news that Alex would be recover hit her ears like a bell restarting her heart and breathing after hours of pacing, of fretting, of hugging.
Kara by her side, she had rushed to the room forcing herself not to stall, not to stutter, not to think of how close it was.
Tears sprung to both of their eyes, Maggie blinking hers away to wrap Kara in an embrace. She had pulled her to the chairs beside Alex's bed, where she sits now, making sure to bring them close enough to grip her hand and arm in tandem.
That was hours ago. Hours of nurses fluttering in and out, of half smiles aimed to comfort, and texts requesting updates. Kara fell into a fretful sleep, head nestled on Maggie's shoulder tucked under her arm. She would be her comfort until Alex came back to them.
Three more hours. She shouldn't count, she knows. These things don't run on timers; people don't have alarm clocks to wake from the blanket of medications.
Three more hours and the doctor's estimate would be reached.
Three more hours until Maggie could breathe.
Maggie busies herself running her thumb lightly over Alex's bruised knuckles. When her thoughts go too far, too dark, too- she presses her fingers to feel Alex's beating pulse. She matches her breathing to the rhythm, calms, only to have her mind drift again, and restart the cycle.
She thinks of the "what ifs" both good and bad.
What if they got married one day? What if it had been worse? What if they took that vacation they'd been talking about? What if it had been worse? What if it had been worse?
What if it had been worse?
The thoughts and cycle were a constant. Almost matching the soft snores and fidgets of the woman sleeping on her shoulder. Her sleep so much more alive than the stillness of her sister's.
She's broken from this cycle when she feels more than sees a figure slinking into the room.
Removing her hand from Alex's pulse, her breathing steady once again, she finds herself glancing up at blue eyes trying so hard to conceal their fear.
"Mrs. Danvers." Maggie greats softly, voice hoarse with a slight nod doing her best to keep Kara comfortable in her embrace
"Maggie." The word comes out on a halted breath as her eyes exam Alex's pale form
"They said it should only be a few hours now."
A nod is her only answer for the moment, the woman's focus averted.
After what must have been a long mental checklist is run down, Eliza's eyes showing less fear is a comfort.
It's a moment into their shared gaze that she remembers her position. Not seeing another chair, she moves to get up, offering her seat and Kryptonian blanket to the woman.
"No, no, it's okay. You stay right where you are."
Maggie swallows before nodding her head and finding Alex's hand once again.
The forty-five minutes until Alex awakens –"always an over achiever" Eliza had remarked wetness in her rolled eyes- were passed in quiet understanding. Eliza had poured over the surgery notes lips pursed, eyes jumping between the pages and her daughter consistently.
It starts with a twitch. The slight curl of Alex's fingers against Maggie's palm.
Instantly alert, Eliza calls down the hall for the doctor not caring to wait on the button. Eliza's voice wakes Kara who sways a bit as she sits up and out of Maggie's arms. Legs meeting the floor, Kara seems to stare at her feet in confusion before she tenses, memories assaulting her.
Maggie rubs her back, eyes trained on the fluttering of Alex's eyes.
Her eyes are clouded as she blinks heavily into consciousness, eyes roaming around the room curiously. Their eyes meet as the doctors and nurses flood the room, only for her attention to be pulled away for their checks.
A sense of calm settles over Maggie, only accentuating the bubbles of swirling fear that had taken over her body since the incident.
The incident.
What a small word for all the fear and blood and- God, why wasn't it her?
Maggie's tears begin to flow unable to be kept at bay anymore. Kara has her sister back now, Eliza has her daughter, she can lose it. She can lose her cool -needs to lose her cool before she can be the calm Alex needs. Before she can feel the relief Alex's opened eyes gives her.
She makes an excuse to call and update Winn and J'onn, attempting to sweep from the room without notice. The nurturing hand that comes out to embrace her bicep tells her her tears have been seen, but the loving glint in Eliza's eyes grants her a wave of care. A wave of understanding.
Only, it wasn't just Eliza who noticed Maggie's retreat. Alex's eyes defy the doctor's orders, instead they follow the woman's escape.
The doctors are gone moments later, their tests coming back normal.
Eliza focuses on discreetly studying her daughter in concern. Alex never did like her overbearing nature. Meanwhile, Kara fumbled offering pillows, TV channels, "food from that one food truck in Chicago -only to receive a stern glare from Eliza and backtrack- I mean, Jell-O! I can get you some Jell-O!"
Alex replies careful shakes of her head, brow furled.
"What's wrong, sweetie?" Eliza asks, leaning to take a seat on the bed
"Who was that?"
"Who was whom?" It's the duo's turn to glance at her in confusion
"The –um- the girl with the hair and the-" The brightness in Alex's eyes just from thinking of the woman gave the duo no doubt at who she was speaking of.
"Maggie?"
Kara stares at Eliza in concern as Alex sounds out the name as if savoring it.
"She's fine, Kara. The drugs will wear off soon, it's just temporary amnesia."
"Is she coming back?" The question is lost to the air as Kara's mind continued to scream the word; Amnesia.
"Is Maggie coming back?" Alex's anxious voice finally cuts through Kara's mind's assault.
"Yeah, honey. She's coming back. She just stepped out to call Winn and J'onn to tell them how you're doing." The confusion Kara's words are met with prompts her further, "our friend and our boss."
A nod shows Alex's acceptance of the information even as her eyes refuse to stray too long from the doorway.
Moments pass before Alex begins to look even more concerned. Eyes pleading with Kara's she asks with a soft voice, "You're sure she's coming back?"
"Positive." Kara replies with a smile, reaching her hand out to pat at Alex's blanket covered leg.
'Of course even with amn-amnesia,' Kara thinks, the word causing her to blink back more tears, 'she'd want, Maggie.' The thought and her effort not to let the tears fall has a smile tugging at her lips.
Alex settles back down for a few moments, but not even thirty seconds later Kara could feel Alex's question coming.
Luckily, before Alex can open her mouth Maggie breezes into the room with a wide smile and "Hey, Danvers" falling from her lips. Kara and Eliza kindly ignore her reddened eyes, the one proof of her breakdown she could not disguise.
"Maggie!" The excited and cheerful tone of Alex's voice, startles the group into light laughter
Shaking her head at her girlfriend's antics, she moves to her original seat beside Kara. Reaching out she's sure to grasp the woman's hand in her own, noting the way Kara has done the same with her leg.
Maggie feels Kara's slight shaking and her heart tugs. Wrapping her arm around Kara once again, she pulls her closer against her body. Kara's soft smile and calmed exhale is the only thanks Maggie needs.
The look they share is short but speaks more than: 'we almost lost her', 'we got her back', 'thank you for being here,' could ever express.
They miss the beginning of the souring of Alex's face making their minds spiral in confusion when their eyes meet an upset Alex.
"You know, Maggie?"
Before Maggie's eyes can widen further in fear, Eliza steps in with a calm, "The drugs have her a bit loopy, she doesn't remember Winn or J'onn either." A breath. "It should only last a few hours."
Maggie nods, swallowing audibly before looking back at Alex. Instinctively, Maggie pulls Kara in closer as Kara's mind fumbles over the word again, her shaking returning slightly.
"Yeah," Kara replies, smiling wide as if the bigger she smiled the more normal the situation would be, "Of course I know, Maggie." Punctuating the sentence by pulling Maggie into a side hug was meant only to give the two of them comfort, but Alex's increased hurt shown through.
"How- uh, well- how well do you know her?" Maggie's too busy studying her girlfriend, realizing that she's here, that she's safe, to take any meaning from her raised eyebrow.
Kara smiles, feeling normalcy start to creep back in to the room.
"Pretty darn well! Eliza! Maybe now you can taste some of Maggie's homemade chicken fried steak. It's so good."
"Is it?" Eliza's lips ease into a smile as her worries fade to the back of her mind
"Yeah! It's not even chicken." Eliza smirks, "I know it says it's steak but there's also the word chicken and it's fried! Maggie teased me all week about it" Kara explains quickly
Joining in on the slice of normalcy, Maggie can't help but mock, "It doesn't taste like chicken, Maggie. Maggie! I'm scared! What am I eating?"
"I wasn't that bad."
Shaking her head, Maggie meets Eliza's eyes with the dimpled smile her daughter loves so much, "She never stopped eating it, either. Just freaked out between bites."
"That's our Kara." Eliza comments, reaching over to pat Kara's hand which still lay on her sister's blanketed leg
"I just thought Nebraska had different chicken!" She tries to defend, cheeks reddening as she starts picking at the blanket
Maggie's snarky comment dies on her lips as she sees Alex's downturned, studying look. Instead it switches to a soft, "Are you feeling alright, Alex? Do you need a drink or?" She leaves the sentence open, unsure of the woman's needs.
Alex seems to shake herself off mentally, her upset thinly masked by fake cheer.
"Are you two? I mean- you are, aren't you?"
Confusion paints the faces of each of the other women.
"Are what?" Eliza asks, noticing the wetness in Alex's eyes as she tries to track her vision. Maybe the scans missed something?
"Dating." Alex replies with a finality that has her blinking back the wetness again
They know that look. They all do.
It's the look of, 'I'm not enough, I'll never be enough'.
"What? God no!" Kara reacts first, only to receive a slight slap by the arm Maggie still has wrapped around her
"Hey!"
Only the outrage doesn't just come from Maggie.
Kara's defense is cut off by Alex's definitive, "Don't be mean, she's pretty."
Kara holds back a squeal, even drugged her sister is in love. For her part Eliza shakes her head, smiling at the blush heating Maggie's cheeks as well as the glimmer of love she can see in Alex's slowly clearing eyes. That's all she ever wanted for her daughter. This happiness, this love. Judging by the love and care Maggie has been showing Kara, Eliza can only imagine the kind of love she has for her other daughter.
"So you're not?" Maggie and Kara shake their heads in tandem, "Does that mean you're single?"
Kara is barely able to silence her laugh at her sister's excitement.
Sharing a look with Eliza, Maggie can't help but play along.
"No, not single." She says sharing a wink with Eliza as her hand runs over Alex's palm
"Mom?!"
"Oh my god." Kara tries, she really does, but the laughter washes over her. It's infectious and soon has the others stifling their giggles.
Alex stares on eyes wide in shock and upset.
"She's you're girlfriend, Alex."
If only James was here. The look on Alex's face was of pure joy. Eyes wide, hope and love swirling within them.
"She is?"
"I am."
"Really?" Alex whispers, eyes only for Maggie
"Really."
"Oh thank god." Alex exclaims, smile lighting up the room as she links her fingers with Maggie's.
Blinking away the tears in her eyes, Maggie tries to keep the mood light.
"You weren't hitting on all the nurses when I was gone were you? I was only gone a second, babe!"
Alex seems to light further at the nickname, eyes growing serious as she stares into Maggie's own. "You were gone forever."
She finished her comment with a tug on their linked hands, weakly pulling Maggie closer to her side and coincidentally out of Kara's arms.
Kara will be sure to tease Alex about the jealous glare she receives once the drugs wear off.
Maggie shakes her head as she follows the pull of her arm –and heart- until she is seated opposite Eliza on Alex's bed.
"So, we're dating?"
"Yes, Alex, we're dating."
Splitting her focus between Maggie's eyes and their clasps hands, she continues.
"You like me."
"Want to know a secret?" Maggie asks, leaning closer to Alex in a faux whisper. She tries to control her blush as she notices Alex's eyes shifting between her eyes and her lips as they grow closer.
"What?"
"I love you."
Luckily the beeping of the heart monitor had been turned off earlier, or the nurses may have rushed in for the second time in as many minutes. Alex's heart rate speeds as a look of wonder takes over her face.
"That's exactly how she looked when she told me you guys had said it for the first time!" Kara announces, basking in her sister's happiness
"Really?" A nod is Alex's only answer as Maggie has trouble speaking through her smile
"Kara, Maggie loves me!"
"I know, slugger. Look at you!"
Alex preens under the acknowledgement.
"Mom! Mom, did you know she loves me?" Alex asks, her glow increasing
"I had an idea."
Alex's eyes grow tender as she settles back in the pillows gaze never wavering from Maggie.
Noticing a shift in the atmosphere, Eliza offers to grab some coffees and all but drags her youngest daughter out of the room. "They need a second alone, honey."
"What're you thinking about, Alex?" Maggie asks, feeling more at ease being affectionate with Alex without Eliza's presence, she runs her free hand through Alex's hair as she nuzzles into her hand
"You're my girlfriend."
"I am."
"You're my girlfriend not Kara's or my mom's."
"Yeah, little weird you thought your mom was a lesbian cougar but…" Maggie trails off, with a soft laugh
"You picked me."
It's said oh so quietly. Through the haze of drugs and love, the thought rings through.
"Always, Alex."
The kiss they share is one of relief, of promise, of hope, and love.
Exhaustion and comfort draws Maggie onto the sliver of bed unused by Alex's thin frame. Scooting closer together, Alex finds herself contently wrapped in Maggie's careful arms.
A mumble barely makes it to Maggie's ears as she feels Alex relax into her body.
"What was that, babe?" She whispers in Alex's ear, the feeling drawing a lazy smile from Alex.
"We fit better together than you and Kara."
"Damn, straight!" Maggie replies, controlling her laughter so as not to jostle the woman in her arms.
"I love you too, just so you know."
No one was surprised when they made their way to Alex's room to find her and Maggie cuddled in a heavy sleep.
"I give it six months until someone puts a ring on it." Winn announces after the group retreats to the hallway
"Winn." Eliza states, the authority in her voice readying Winn for a reprehend, "I give it two months tops. You didn't see how much, Alex, was glowing."
"Uh, no, definitely sooner. She glows like that constantly. A text from Maggie or her stopping by for lunch makes her pretty happy."
"How long do you think then, Oh, great sister-whisperer?"
"Two weeks."
"No way, Kara! It would take either of them a month to even pick out a ring!"
"I have to agree with, Schott, here, Kara. Alex does a lot of things head first, but this is Maggie we're talking about. I've seen Alex test three of the same gun just to make sure the one the DEO gave Maggie was perfect."
"I stand by my decision."
A group of shaking heads is her only reply.
"Let's let them sleep. I saw they had some board games in the cafeteria."
As the group makes their way to the cafeteria, Kara can't help but think about the sleeping women. The happiness she got to see Alex relive was beyond any happiness she had ever wished for her sister.
She can't wait to see that happiness again.
The others were right about how long it would take Alex to decide on a ring.
"It has to be perfect, Kara. She's perfect, and amazing, and oh god what if she ways no-"
A beat.
A 'how stupid are you' look curtesy of Kara.
And Alex had continued.
"No, I know she'll say yes. Well, I don't know, but I-"
Let's just say it was a fun few months.
A fun few months that will all be worth it.
Now, if only Alex will stick to her plan.
