Disclaimer: I own none of these characters.

This is an alternate reality to my series "Darcy Lewis, Vampire Slayer (Semi-Retired)".


Hearing the 'Scooby Doo' theme song of the small cell phone on her nightstand, Darcy Lewis reached out and flipped it open. "Hello?"

"We've got a problem," the female voice on the other end replied.

"Hi, Merideth," Darcy said as she sat up in bed and pulled her dark wavy hair off her face. "What's up?"

"There's some sort of secret government facility setting up shop nearby," the woman on the other end replied. "You're the closest. We want you to go and give it a look over. I'm texting the GPS coordinates to this phone."

"I sent a report about it," Darcy pointed out. "They took Jane Foster's research earlier today. They're called SHIELD, and there's something they're guarding. That guy I sent the report about, Thor? We had to rescue him."

There was a pause as Darcy heard muffled conversation on the other end. "We still need you to look into it. If we're looking at another Initiative, we need to know."

"And, if I get caught?" Darcy asked as she pulled herself out of bed.

"Don't," Merideth replied before hanging up.

Darcy got dressed in dark clothing and comfortable shoes. Grabbing a few weapons to stash on her person, she also grabbed her lockpick kit, a pair of binoculars, and a small flashlight.

Grabbing the keys to the Science-Mobile, as she had named Jane's van, she drove off into the desert.

It wasn't long before she was crouched low on an overhang above the hastily erected facility, full of activity, even this time of night. The activity seemed to be focused on an open air courtyard in the middle of the facility. Looking at the brightly lit facility, she knew it would be impossible to reach the courtyard without being seen and probably captured.

Luck seemed to be with her, however, because lightning hit the compound below and the power went out.

'Maybe too convenient,' she thought to herself, but decided to go with it.

As quickly as she could, she had cut her way through the fence and raced across the compound and up the mound of dirt that had been set up around the center and sliced open the plastic of the courtyard and slipped in.

Darcy blinked at the column of rock in the center of the room and the hammer imbedded in it. She was alone in the area as everyone was off trying to help get the power back on.

Only hesitating slightly, Darcy reached out and grabbed the handle of the hammer. Feeling a hum of contentment in the back of her mind, she pulled. The hammer left the pile of rock easily, and the stone it had been imbedded in crumbled.

Knowing she didn't have much time, Darcy turned around and started to head back the way she came.

"Hey!" a voice shouted out.

Ignoring the plea that seemed to come from the hammer to bludgeon the figure in front of her, Darcy did a leg sweep of the male agent with a bow strapped to his back and punched him in the face with her non-hammer carrying fist.

Racing back, she was lucky to reach the Science-Mobile before the power in the compound below came back and was again flooded with light.

Driving with the headlights off, Darcy made her way back home, with the hammer lying in the passenger seat. As she drove, she softly hummed a song that she couldn't know, since it was a victory song of Asgard.


After she had made a quick report to Watchers Headquarters, Darcy stared at the hammer in her hand.

"You're Thor's hammer, aren't you? The one he was looking for?"

Darcy felt a little silly talking to a hammer. But, when she felt it reply affirmatively, she didn't feel so silly. "Do you want to go back to him?"

Getting a negative response, she continued, "I'm sorry, but I can't pronounce your name. I hearby dub the Mew Mew!"

Feeling the hammer's contentment, Darcy nodded. "Now, I have to get some rest. We'll talk more in the morning."

After placing the hammer on the pillow beside her, Darcy turned over and went back to sleep.


But, further 'conversations' would have to wait. The arrival of Sif and the Warriors Three put a damper on Darcy and Mew Mew's talking time.

And, then, the Destroyer attacked.

Darcy watched as Thor sacrificed himself to save the town, her hands over her mouth in shock.

Then, she heard a crash of glass and turned to see Mew Mew flying out of the defunct auto dealership that was Jane's lab and into Thor's hand.

Feeling the tentative apology from the hammer, Darcy grinned and waved. "Go for it, Mew Mew!" she shouted out.

The Destroyer was soon, well Destroyed.

Then the Ipod thief agent showed up to make some sort of complaints, and Thor used Mew Mew to fly off with Jane.

A quick caravan followed, ending up at the site Thor and the other Asgardians had arrived at.

But, Mew Mew wouldn't let Thor stand in the Bifrost symbol on the ground.

"I do not understand," Thor exclaimed, staring at the hammer.

"Umm, yeah," Darcy said as she stepped forward. "Mew Mew and I sort of bonded?"

"Bonded? How?" Thor asked, confused.

Darcy started to explain, "Well, after I rescued it from SHIELD custody "

"That was you? How?" Coulson asked.

"We just, you know, clicked," Darcy continued, ignoring Coulson's interruption.

"Mjolnir, we must leave!" Thor stated. Suddenly, his grip on the hammer shifted as it became heavier and heavier.

"Mew Mew! We'll see each other again!" Darcy called out. "You need to help Thor!"

But, Mew Mew wouldn't move without Darcy.

"I believe you are about to become the first mortal on Asgard in millenia," Sif stated.

"What?" Darcy asked, blinking as the female warrior herded her onto the Bifrost site. "What?"

As soon as Darcy entered the knotwork in the sand, Mew Mew stopped fighting Thor and allowed him to move again.

A few moments later, the rainbow bridge appeared and whisked the five Asgardians and one Slayer away, leaving behind only a heavier ingrained knotwork pattern in the sand, and Darcy's call of "Later!"


This is the first part of a series titled "Darcy and Mew Mew's Excellent Adventures".