The Plan of God
A Book of Eli Story
By Bong & Schoolgirl Studly
Sponsored by The Logic Stream Network
Jesus took a massive bong hit and passed his dad the piece. "Here you go God."
"Thanks son!" God then took a big bong hit too.
"Hey Dad, what's with this shit you're doing with this Eli guy? I get it, he's gotta get this book to the publishing house and crap, but damn, like, why? There's gotta be another way to get a Bible to those stupid jerks"
"So like, here's my plan bruh. I'm having Eli go through this town where this dude Carnegie lives. See, Carnegie is looking for the Bible too. And eventually he's going to give up and write his own holy book. People being stupid, they won't know the difference. I'm like way too petty to let some other guy get worshipped, so I'm going to have Eli walk through the town and mess up his empire. Once that topples, and he dies, I have no more competition. Do you know how long it took to kill all the Muslims and Jews and Hindus and everyone else? A long time. Now that my religion is about to be the only one left, I couldn't let some smart guy come in and ruin the whole thing. With this plan, I'll finally be the one and only true God.
Buddah then entered with a machine gun and shot up God and Jesus with hollow point rounds. "Not today" he said over their dead bodies. He then took a bong hit.
