A/N: This piece might seem complete, but there's more on the way! Hopefully, after reading this you don't think I was going to leave things this easy? I'd like to give a special shout-out to MinervaSnape394 who has been an extremely active reader today! Your faves and follows are greatly appreciated and your reviews even more so! Thank you :)
XOXOXO
Nicky hadn't realized that sleep would be so hard outside of Litchfield. Nicky thought that going home to Red would be the answer to all her problems. Sure, realistically she knew that wasn't completely true, but she thought it would at least make the small stuff easier.
Red had been Nicky's rock and stability for years. Living without her for the past four months had left Nicky feeling unbalanced and alone. Now that she'd been released and was going home to Red, she felt like she could finally breathe.
"Don't you like it?" Red asked. Her thumb was bouncing against her leg in anticipation. Only knowing each other in prison hadn't given them a chance to really learn each other's tastes."We can change it if you don't, but I didn't want you to come home to an empty room."
Nicky stood in the doorway of her new bedroom taking in all that Red had done for her. "It's perfect Ma," she said, reaching down and grabbing Red's hand. No one had ever gone to so much trouble to give her space of her own.
Every bedroom that Marka had ever set up for her came straight from the catalog, the showroom floor, or a decorator. When Nicky was thirteen, Marka had started dating the germaphobe. That was the year her mother had decided that separate apartments were a perfect solution. Granted they were just across the way from each other, but separate nonetheless.
XOXOXO
Nicky had overheard Marka and her boyfriend fighting. It was about her-again. It felt like it was always about her. Nicky was a tomboy, sure, but she wasn't dirty or sick. Why he always acted like he would catch something if he stood too close to her Nicky never understood.
The next morning, on her way down to breakfast, she heard Marka talking to Janice-her personal aid. Nicky peeked around the corner to watch the exchange.
Marka was flipping through the pages of a catalog in front of her, barely paying attention to what she was looking at. "Here, this one," she said pointing to a picture. Nicky couldn't make it out, but she could see pink. A lot of pink. "This seems appropriate for a fifteen-year-old."
"Ma'am?" the younger woman asked confused.
Nicky rolled her eyes. She wasn't confused. She knew exactly what was happening.
Marka looked up and shook her head as though the woman were an idiot. "For Nicole, I told you I needed to pick out some new things before the move. She has to have somewhere to sleep. Unless you thought that maybe she'd prefer the floor?"
Understanding her job quite clearly, Janice blushed and dropped the matter. "Of course, I just got mixed up. I apologize."
Nicky gritted her teeth in frustration. Why was everyone so eager to please her mother? Sure Marka had money, but was her abuse and frustrating nature really worth it?
"Mixed up?" Marka asked. "Honestly, the apartment isn't even that big. If one bedroom is going to confuse you then maybe I should seriously be questioning your qualifications."
Jance closed her eyes and tried to bite her tongue, but there was only so much she could handle before turning a blind eye was too much. She'd met Nicky only a handful of times, but felt like she knew her better than her employer. "I shouldn't have said anything. It's just that..."
"Just that what?" Marka asked in irritation.
Janice bit her lip but met Marka's gaze. "Nicky is only 13."
Nicky had to cover her mouth to contain her laughter. The sheepish look on Marka's face sent a thrill down her spine. She had never seen her mother called out like that.
"Yes, well," Marka said, stiffening and adjusting her posture. "I only meant that the style would last for a few years. What do you think?"
Janice looked down at the picture Marka was pointing at. She had to force a smile, knowing that she had already pushed her luck. She needed her job. "It's very… nice."
Rolling her eyes, Nicky shook her head. She had almost liked this woman. Now she was destined to live in a cotton candy nightmare. Well, that wouldn't last long. Surely Marka would increase her allowance. Nicky could get whatever she wanted then.
Marka nodded indifferently. "I think so." She pushed the catalog towards Janice and began flipping through her phone to check her email. "Go ahead and get her that one. Order it express."
"The bedding?" Janice asked, making sure that they were on the same page.
Marka lowered her phone and raised her eyebrows in dismay. "The whole room. Honestly…"
"Should I show it to Nicky first?" Janice asked tentatively. "To see if she likes it?"
"Why she's not paying for it?" Marka asked, eyes not leaving her phone. "She's not paying you either. She'll be fine regardless-just take care of it." Rising to her feet, Marka left the room without another word.
Two days later, Marka explained to Nicky that she was going to give her a very special gift. Nicky was instantly skeptical. Marka's gifts were never anything she liked or wanted. She had no idea how unbelievable her latest would be.
Marka told her the night before about the new apartment. It wasn't that Nicky cared so much about moving, she just cared that Marka didn't want to have a kid. Without her, Marka and her boyfriend wouldn't have even fought. She'd heard Marka on the phone explaining the new arrangement to him and how she'd have Nicky moved out by the end of the week.
XOXOXO
"What's wrong Nicky?" Red asked, noticing the stiffness that had crept its way into Nicky's body. She squeezed her hand gently. "You won't hurt my feelings if you don't like it," she promised. Red had spent a lot of time trying to turn the empty room into something she thought Nicky would like, but she would redo the entire thing if it meant that Nicky would understand she belonged there.
Nicky shook her head and looked at Red. "I told you it's perfect," she said, running a hand through her hair. "Thank you." When Red continued to stare at her Nicky sighed in displeasure. "I hate when you do that," she whined before explaining. "It just brought up some memories. No one has ever done anything like this for me. It means a lot to me."
Red's heart hurt at the admission. She wished she hadn't made Nicky say all that out loud, but she felt like she needed to know these things. Nicky hated talking about her past, but if Red didn't know, then she couldn't make sure that she hadn't done something wrong.
"Come here," Red said, voice thick with protective understanding. She pulled Nicky into her arms and enveloped her in what comfort she could. "How about we make some new memories instead, huh?" She kissed her temple and pulled back, squeezing Nicky's shoulders encouragingly.
Nicky nodded her head and offered Red a shy smile. She looked back at the room and just took it all in. Tugging on Red's hand, she looked at her shyly. "Sit with me?"
Nodding, Red let Nicky pull her along. She sat down next to her and just watched Nicky, drinking in the sight of her. Finally, her home felt complete. "Do you really like it? Not just that it's here for you, but what's in it?"
"Yes ma, honest," Nicky answered. She hoped that Red could see the sincerity in her eyes. "Who'd have thought we'd end up here," Nicky said, flopping on her back.
Red looked down at her and brushed hair away from Nicky's face. "I missed you," she murmured. She tugged playfully at a lock of curls and grinned. "But you're home now, little girl."
Blushing, Nicky's bottom lip popped out. She didn't even realize she'd done it, but it seemed to happen often around Red. "Stop," she laughed, feeling both embarrassed and giddy. She loved when Red showered her with attention, but she hated admitting it. "You don't get to do that anymore."
"Why not?" Red asked, curious to hear what excuse Nicky might come up with. It wasn't like Nicky to push her affections away. Maybe in front of others, if Red embarrassed her Nicky might feign annoyance, but not like this when it was just them.
Nicky shrugged. "I don't know. It's just that we're out here. I'm supposed to be a grown up and shit." She sat up and looked at Red, trying to find answers that she couldn't figure out how to ask. She didn't want to be a burden or responsibility that weighed on Red.
Red nodded. "Maybe you're right. You are a bit spoiled… and needy…." her voice held a lightness that she knew would not be misunderstood.
Playfully shoving Red, Nicky huffed. "Fine. Okay. I get it. An adult with everyone except you." She shook her head. Getting quiet, she reached for Red's hand, needing the contact for her next question. "You ever gonna let me grow up?" she asked.
"Nicky," Red sighed, trying to figure out how to word her thoughts. "I think you did a lot of growing up before you were ready. You're my daughter, yes, you always will be. It's more than that, though. You missed things and weren't taught things. As grown up as you want to be-and I won't ever stop you from that-there are things you still don't know. Wounds that haven't been healed."
Listening to Red talk, Nicky furrowed her brow in confusion. For once, she managed to keep her questions to herself and let Red finish.
"I don't just fuss over you the way mom's do with their kids. There's more to it than just 'you're always a child in your mother's eyes'. You had a lot of hurt growing up, and there's still a lot of pain in your eyes when things get too close to that. So, yes. I'm always going to fuss and play and love you too the point where it hurts your teeth. Think you can handle that?"
Nicky couldn't hide her grin. "I suppose so. I mean if I don't have any other choice," she said dramatically. Sitting up she leaned into Red's arms, finally settling her nerves. She was home.
