Disclaimer: I don't any of the characters from JLU.
Pairing: Flash/Superman
Author Notes: For merfilly's JLU fanfiction challenge.
Summary: Superman really likes his apple pie.

Tasting the Pie:

The Flash didn't know when Superman's apple pie obsession started, but he knew he had to stop it. Sure, everyone in the league had one, even him, but they were healthy. Well, J'onn's love of Oreos and Batman with his broodiness didn't count, nor did the Question, period.

Come to think of it, Superman's addiction was nearly as bad as the Martian's, and that worried Flash even more.

'What is it with aliens and earth food!' he often thought.

He had to put a stop to this before it was too late! But how did one go about dissuading a Kryptonian from apple pie? And without the severe physical pain one would certainly go under?

Flash would have to think for more than a minute on this one.


'Oh God! I never thought that—guh!' Flash tried to think as he was literally being sucked into oblivion. Who knew Superman would go so far for apple pie?

'Bats did that's who!' The scarlet speedster realized, trying to control his shaking. Batman was to blame for his situation.

---Flash Back---

"Hey, Bats!" Sitting next to the Dark Knight at a cafeteria table, Flash proceeded to ask, in a hushed whisper, "Have you noticed Superman's addicted?"

"What?" Batman asked, dreading what would be said next.

"You know, his obsession with apple pie?" Flash clarified, and ate three out of his twenty trays.

"Oh, that," Batman said relieved, but in perfect monotone. He continued to eat his lunch as Flash explained how he noticed Superman's appetite for apple pie grow and grow at an alarming rate.

"...and I don't know how to go about stopping it! I mean, Kryptonite is already his weakness. Why add another one?"

"You have a point, Flash," Batman began in reply, and raised his hand to prevent interruption he was sure to get. When he was positive the scarlet speedster would stop talking and listen, he then gave a plan he used on J'onn a few weeks ago.

The concept of the plan was simple. Make Superman aware that he had a problem, and that he needed to fix it. It was the way of doing that that was questionable.

First, Flash had to drink a bunch of apple juice, and it was a lot, even to Flash standards. Then he had to chew cinnamon flavored bubble gum. Also Wally had to wash his hair in apple scented shampoo, as well as spray green apple perfume. He wanted to draw the line with the green apple lip gloss but Bats scared him into it.

"If you smell like apple pie, Superman will think there is apple pie nearby. He'll get hungry and race to find the source of the scent. However, once he finds out it's you who smells like one, he'll realize he has a problem. Because no matter how tempting, he cannot eat you," Batman explained, in one of the longest speeches ever told by him.

---End Flash Back---

There was more than one way of being eaten, and Flash discovered that soon enough when he had found himself in Superman's bedroom three seconds after saying, "Hey, big guy!"

At first, Flash was angry at Batman for more than likely setting this up. But upon his second orgasm, all Wally could think was, 'Apples rule…'

-END OR IS IT?