"Aleister fucking Crowley, Baz you've got to see this!"
Baz looked up from where he'd been working on his laptop. He saved the document he'd been typing on and slid the device onto the coffee table before getting up to come sit on the settee with Simon.
He looked down at the other boy's screen, unsurprised to see the familiar T logo and blue background he'd become used to seeing on Simon's laptop over the last few days.
"Are you on Tumblr again? I thought we agreed we'd both spend an hour working on our resumes and looking at job opening," Baz said with a sigh. "You need a job, Simon. And Tumblring doesn't pay."
Simon frowned, pink lips forming a cute pout that Baz was tempted to kiss.
"But… look!"
Baz looked at the screen more closely, examining a painting that Simon's cursor was currently hovering over. He took in the details, a tall and dark haired man dressed in a suit, a violin perched on his shoulder with his eyes closed. It was indeed quite pretty, though Baz couldn't see the relevance.
"It's like you," Simon said with a smile. "Like if someone painted a picture of you."
"He doesn't have long hair," Baz said, tossing his own. "And from what I can see he looks pretty white."
Simon's tail lashed out and snapped at his leg. Baz rolled his eyes and grabbed for it, easily capturing it in his hands. There was a soft sigh from Simon, who immediately relaxed as Baz began stroking the appendage.
"But he's…handsome and tall and muscular and he's playing the violin all brooding like."
"How you managed to go so many years of your life without realizing you were gay is beyond me," Baz said with a snort. "Seriously, Snow?"
"I'm not gay," Simon retorted. "Well…I mean…not labeling… and my therapist said I didn't have to and you agreed you'd be supportive of that."
Baz sighed. He had indeed agreed upon that, although some of that might have been the fact that Simon had been perched on his lap at the time, those cute eyes sparkling as they looked at him as he whispered that he didn't have a label but that was okay. Yeah, that was Simon all right. Too adorable to say no to.
"Okay, fine," Baz said. "Yes, you're not gay. Better? Okay, follow the fucking artist so you can see more of this handsome violinist if you'd like and then get back to work."
Simon sighed and clicked on the artist's page. Baz froze as he looked at the first image. There was that same dark haired man, although this time he appeared to be younger. More of a teen. He was wearing a dark coat with a dramatic looking collar (fuck that would be fun to have) and more importantly a smaller blond boy was snuggled up in his arms, kissing at his neck.
"Morgana, what is that?" Baz asked.
Simon's eyes had gone huge. "Fuck they're cute. It's us! It's us Baz! Someone drew us."
"Get a grip, Simon," Baz growled. "They clearly aren't us. I don't have curly hair and you don't have straight. I mean, they're adorable but… no."
Simon frowned and looked at the tags. "It's based on a show called Sherlock. Do you know it?"
Baz shrugged. "As though I would know much about Normal popular culture. You haven't heard of it? After all your time on Tumblr?"
"I made my account three days ago, thank you," Simon said with a huff. "Well… they're cute. And gay. And British apparently. Want to watch?"
Baz rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine. Pull up the first episode. Let's see if this is any good."
Simon found it quickly enough and soon they were snuggled together on the couch, one of Simon's wings curling neatly around Baz, Baz's hand on his knee. The show started, and Baz found himself watching, soon wrapped up in the story.
"Oh god, they're flatmates," Simon whispered a few minutes in. "And…and John is like a…soldier. He's had to battle his enemies."
Baz sighed. "For Merlin's sake, Snow, they're not that similar to us."
They watched a little further, Simon giggling as John Watson seemed to rake his eyes over Sherlock Holmes.
"Okay…yeah this is you," Baz admitted midway through the episode. "Trying to pretend you're not infatuated with me."
"I wasn't always," Simon argued. "Honestly first year I thought you were a total prat. Well…a very cute prat. But still… and I was convinced you had to be plotting something. I mean… how could you not be you little psychopath you?"
"I'm a high functioning sociopath," Baz said with a smirk. "Honestly Snow, do your research."
They both broke into giggles, snuggling a bit closer as the first episode continued. Baz found his gaze flicking between the screen and Simon's adorable face. He looked so incredibly happy. Baz had to wonder how they hadn't discovered this series earlier. Clearly it was just the thing they needed.
They were into the third episode when the door opened.
"Hey, I'm home. I brought scones."
Simon bolted out of his seat in an instant and ran to meet Penny at the door. Baz sighed and pressed pause on the laptop, standing up and brushing off his jeans.
"What were you two up to?" Penny said as she spelled her groceries out of their bag and into the proper cupboards in the kitchen. Baz rolled his eyes as he noted Simon stuffing his second scone into his mouth.
"Watching Sherlock," Baz said. "Have you heard of it?"
Penny raised a brow. "Heard of it? Of course. It's insanely popular. I've only seen the first episode myself."
"Well, Simon just discovered it today," Baz said. "So we're watching through the first season. Because Simon thinks they're basically us."
"Do not," Simon said, crumbs spewing from his mouth. "I mean… I think Sherlock is basically like Baz. He's a real prat, and he thinks he's always right, and he plays the violin and is dark and mysterious and shit."
"Fair point," Penny said.
Baz snorted. "You're not going to argue with him?"
Penny raised a brow and looked Baz over. "Are you joking? You are brooding, and you play the violin, and you do tend to think you're the best, until I beat you last term at Watford of course."
Baz sighed and rolled his eyes. He crossed his arms as Simon grabbed yet another scone.
"Are you going to bring those back to the couch or are we done watching for the day?"
Simon perked back up, grabbing the bag filled with scones. Penny nodded to the three coffees sitting on the counter as well. Baz smiled. She really did know them too well. He grabbed for his own drink, smiling as the first taste of the drink met his lips. He took Simon's as well and headed back to the couch where his boyfriend was already curled up with a blanket still devouring his scones.
He pressed play and settled in, curling an arm around Simon's shoulder and watching on as Sherlock and John worked through the latest case.
"So if we're Sherlock and John," Simon said, "who's Penny?"
"Molly?" Baz suggested.
"That would make her in love with me," Baz said, wrinkling his nose. "I think Molly is more like Agatha."
"Okay… what about Mrs. Hudson?" Simon said.
Baz froze and looked at the screen again. "Simon, you're brilliant."
"Penny, we decided you're Mrs. Hudson," Simon yelled into the kitchen.
Penny appeared in the doorway, looking thoroughly confused. She came over and pushed Simon's wing out of the way so she could sit on the settee.
"Okay, might as well watch this so I get what the hell you two are talking about all the time. And I am not Mrs. Hudson…" She straightened the cushions and then froze. "God I am. Going to start using that not your housekeeper line on you two then."
Simon smiled and offered her one of his scones. Baz sighed and snuggled a little closer. He knew full well what they were in for if Penny decided to watch with them. Sure enough, five seconds later was the first comment.
"Dear lord, why is everyone white?"
"Sally's black," Simon said. "But she's kind of a prat."
"Probably only because she's a female. If she was a male character you'd likely say she was simply intelligent," Penny said with a sniff. "Speaking of which, is everyone on this show a male? Can this even pass the Bechdel test?"
"If you're going to watch you've got to relax and realize this show is flawed," Baz said with a sigh.
"Fine," Penny said with a sigh. "But they'd better get more female representation in the next episode or I'm done."
Thankfully she was much more satisfied once she saw Irene Adler come on screen.
"Now that is woman power," Penny said. "And a Sapphic woman too? Yeah I'm all down for this."
Baz rolled his eyes, though he noted the way Simon's eyes lighted on the riding crop in Irene Adler's hand. All right, something to keep in mind for later then.
"Oh it's so you," Penny said as John declared himself to not be gay. "Look, all cute and in denial."
"Am not," Simon said with a frown. "I mean… not…we talked about this already! Maybe John doesn't have a label. Or he could be bi or pan. Just because he's not gay doesn't mean he's in denial."
They fell into silence again until Baz interrupted later.
"Do you think…these have become popular enough sayings that they're magic now? I mean…what if I waved my wand and said I'm Sherlocked?"
Penny frowned. "That would be a horrible idea. You'd probably cast a convoluted love spell on yourself or someone else. But it's possible. Some of these words have clearly been given some power."
That shut Baz up pretty quickly and he went back to staring at the screen.
After "The Hound of the Baskervilles" they agreed it was time for a break, though Simon pouted as they did so.
"We can watch more tomorrow, Snow. Promise," Baz said. "Can marathon a bit, okay? But for now let's get some rest."
"Sure," Simon said with a yawn. "Baz?"
"Yes, Snow?"
"Do you think we're as cute as them?" Simon asked with a slow smile.
"Of course," Baz said with a sigh. "But only because John doesn't have dragon wings."
Simon blushed, tailing twitching a bit wildly. Baz grabbed for him and pulled him close.
"I love you," he said softly, pressing a kiss to Simon's familiar lips. "I don't need fictional characters to say that."
"Oh shut up," Simon said flushing. "You're lowering the IQ of the whole street."
Baz rolled his eyes. "What have I started?"
"Only the greatest adventure ever… okay fine second….guess ours should come first," Simon said with a smile.
Baz smirked and leaned in for yet another kiss. He felt Simon's hands on his waistband.
"What are you doing?"
"Are you wearing pants?" Simon smirked.
Baz effectively rolled his eyes and grabbed Simon to pull him towards their shared bedroom. "If I take them off are you going to tell me to put my trousers on again?"
"Well, we're not in Buckingham Palace," Simon said. "So I think I'll let it slide just this once."
"Good," Baz said. "Then maybe I won't need to bring out the riding crop."
Simon flushed.
"Or maybe not," Baz said with a smile. "After all, who needs kinky. Brainy's the new sexy."
Simon's grin grew wider and he yanked open the door. "Well then, Mr. Holmes. Do show me a thing or two about brainy? I think you've got just the mind to puzzle over the next riddle I give you. I'll give you a clue…it involves me and you and a bed."
Baz smiled. "I think I already have a fair idea how that case works out, but why don't you remind me regardless. I need you beside me, Watson. After all, I'd be lost without my blogger."
The next day was another whirlwind of episodes, all of them in their pajamas sitting together with breakfast foods. Penny wasn't altogether thrilled, but she put up with it regardless. Simon curled up in Baz's arms and laughed through the funny bits and even got a bit teary at the end of the second season.
"Oh god, I can't imagine if I thought you were dead," he whispered.
"You don't have to, so don't worry about it," Baz muttered.
"Shut up, I'm starting season three," Penny said.
Season three, as it turned out, was a disaster for the three of them to watch. Simon was immediately outraged that John was engaged.
"He loved Sherlock, he wouldn't go and marry someone else!" Simon said in disgust.
"Shut up, this show needs more representation," Penny said. "And Mrs. H's line was priceless by the way. Think if I'd said something to you about Baz you might have started dating him sooner?"
Simon flushed. "What…no…that's not…"
Baz took his hand tightly in his own. "Calm down. It's just a show. It can't be that bad."
Episode two had Simon crying again, even Penny wiping at her eyes. Baz had to admit the emotions of the other two might be getting to him a bit.
"This is messed up," Baz muttered.
The last episode pretty much just left them speechless. Penny pressed "next episode" without another word.
"Why the fuck is everyone dressed like that?" Baz muttered as the episode started up. "What the hell is this?"
"Ooh authentic costuming," Penny said, rubbing her hands together. "This should be good."
Penny was squealing by the end, while Baz was rubbing his eyes trying to process what had just happened. Simon was an ecstatic mess.
"John came and rescued him. And he shoved Moriarty off the cliff. And now they're going to be together forever! Plus it was all in Sherlock's head, so clearly Sherlock is thinking of John and knowing how much he loves him."
"This is so gay it's not even funny," Baz said with a sigh.
It was nearing evening, but none of them felt like stopping. Penny sent out a quick Meals on Wheels to get the food started and before long they were all eating a home cooked pasta dish and setting into the real season four.
"Okay this season is awesome," Penny said. "I'll agree to being Mrs. H. It's true, I'd stuff you in my trunk Baz. Know why?"
Baz frowned.
"Why?"
"Because the front seat is for people who haven't been kidnapped by fucking numpties!" Simon and her yelled together and then high-fived.
"Crowley, remind me to never let you two binge watch a series with me again," Baz muttered. "And to never let my aunt come by again."
"A nice murder, that'll cheer you up," Penny muttered under her breath.
The final episode had all three of them in silence. After a long moment Baz closed the laptop and pulled Simon into his lap. The other boy followed his movements without a protest, curling up against his chest.
"That was…wow."
"Quite," Penny said, pursing her lips. "A little unfortunate if you ask me. Rushed. Not near as good by the end."
"They didn't…" Simon frowned. "They didn't let them have their happy ending."
"We should have known better," Baz said. "Sentiment is a chemical defect found on the losing side… clearly."
Simon closed his eyes and squeezed Baz a little tighter. "But…"
"But nothing," Baz said with a sigh. "It's…open ended at least. I mean, sure canon might have been nice. However, at least for the two of us…we can always believe in Sherlock Holmes, and his dearest friend and…and love John Watson."
Penny nodded. "He's so right. Plus, if you found fanart I'm sure the internet is chalk full of fanfiction."
Simon frowned. "What's fanfiction?"
"You know like…people writing stories about characters? About how they think the story should have gone," Penny said.
Simon snapped to attention. He pulled away from Baz and grabbed for the laptop.
"You're kidding me, Snow," Baz said with a sigh.
"Nope," Simon said with a grin. "It's not over, Baz. The game is never over. We can…"
"Sure, sure Snow," Baz said with a smile. "Just the two of us…" he glanced at Penny, "the three of us against the rest of the world."
"Yes," Simon said with a smile. His eyes were shining as he opened up a page labeled Sherlock/John fanfiction. "The game… is on."
A/N: Didn't turn out quite like the prompt, but I had fun writing it. If you enjoy please leave a review!
And...For the record I don't care what you ship for Sherlock, but I figured Baz and Simon might be heavy Johnlock shippers, and it was fun to write them as such. :)
