Harm's Reaction Too Mac's Marriage
Chapter 1
Summary: What if the new beginning at the JAG-A-Thon wasn't what Harm thought it was.
Inspired by a part of Clairisant2000's story - Eternally Yours.
Disclaimer: I don't own JAG or its character. They are the intellectual property of DPB, CBS & Paramount Studios.
Saturday, December 14, 2002
2030 Hours Local Time
Benzingers Restaurant
Falls Church, VA
With his arm around her waist Admiral AJ Chegwidden made the announcement, "Mac is not transferring just to assume a new post, but so that we can get married. We didn't want to wait any longer to officially be together. So we set the date at this Christmas Eve. "
Everyone in attendance for what they thought was Mac's going away party cheered and applauded at the unexpected, but now welcome news. That is all but one.
Commander Harmon Rabb, USN sat stunned. He watched as the other officers and sailors from Navy JAG Headquarters were smiling, dancing, laughing and generally feeling good about the news that was just announced. He used to feel that these people were an extension of his family. Now he was not so sure. His working partner Lt. Colonel Sarah Mackenzie had agreed to have a new beginning after the JAG-A-Thon. Based on that, Harm thought that they were moving things forward romantically. Their working place bantering was friendlier, touching on romantic. They shared after work dinners at each other's apartment and leisurely, one could say, date-type dinners at some nice restaurants on Friday and Saturday nights. They even danced at some of those restaurants. Based on that, Harm made plans to move his relationship with the woman he loved and thought she loved him, to a higher, hopefully more permanent level. The terrorists' attacks on September 11, 2001 put his plans on hold for a time as the whole of the military dealt with that. Still despite that Harm thought that he and Mac were on track romantically. To facilitate that he had a New Year's Eve surprise planned for them. But what he heard in the last five days put the kibosh on those plans.
First on Monday Admiral Chegwidden announced in the bullpen no less that Mac was transferring out of headquarters to the command of the Marine MP Detail at Quantico. Her last day at headquarters would be Friday.
After the announcement she wouldn't even talk with and generally avoided Harm for the whole rest of the week when he attempted to ask her why she didn't even have the courtesy to tell him first.
Even when he called her apartment, he got her answering machine. He even so much as went over to her apartment the previous evening to personally speak with her to find out what she planned, but she wasn't even there. He went home totally bewildered.
Now at the party he heard that the real reason she was leaving JAG was that she was going to marry their commanding officer, of all people and on the next Christmas Eve, of all days.
'What the hell?' Harm thought to himself as he sat there wondering when the Mac and Chegwidden relationship first started happening.
As he sat pondering that, he felt someone tap him on the shoulder. He looked up and saw Mac with her hand out.
"Dance with me flyboy," she asked.
Harm got up with some reluctance. As they danced he held her close so that only she could hear him as he asked, "How long have you and the admiral had feelings for each other?"
"A while," was all Mac said.
"Was it before the Jag-A-Thon?"
"Yeah right about when you made that comment about "anyone who has ever been involved with me is either dead or feels like they are," Mac answered sarcastically.
"I thought we cleared the air about that when I explained that I said it only to get nosey-hole Sturgis to back off and we moved on."
"We did. When you apologized, I moved on. After you told AJ about the remark, he found me and said that no one as lovely as me should be treated like that and that you wouldn't have said that."
"So you began dating?" Harm asked incredulously. The implied question was that they were fraternizing for the whole last year. The same time they were going out on their "dates".
"No we didn't. Not at that time, though we talked a lot between now and then. Without saying that we were attracted to each other, we expressed what we wanted to see from a partner in a relationship. In all that talking we realized we both wanted the same things from the other. That made us able to express our mutual attraction for each other this last week. It had been simmering for a long time since we almost kissed the night of his daughter's party. He told me that he wished that we did kiss."
"You mean when the stalker was after you and you were mourning Dalton?" Harm asked incredulously.
"Yes, then. When I said that I wished we had kissed as well, we realized we didn't want to be apart any longer, which was as I just said was this past weekend. We both knew what it would look like, so I requested a transfer. After it was approved, then we started dating this week. He didn't want to wait so he asked me to marry him and I said yes on the spot and picked Christmas Eve," Mac explained.
"Well what about us? Why didn't you tell me those things? Why didn't you confide them in me?" Harm asked. He so much did not want that to sound like a whine.
"Harm, there is no 'us'. I love AJ. The reason that I didn't confide in you was because of that remark. And as I explained, I have been in love with AJ for a long time now. That's why we're getting married so quickly."
"He's too old for you!" Harm declared desperately.
Mac knew that he was referring to the eighteen year age difference between her and AJ and reposted with, "And you're too young!"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that you're like Peter Pan, you've never grown up. You don't want to change. You never made a move to go forward with us. You never told me that you loved me. You were satisfied the way things were. You only gave up flying because you had been out of it for so long and couldn't advance in that MOS. I sensed that at Sydney when you said you weren't ready for a relationship. So I moved onto Mic. Then he left me after I wouldn't hurry the wedding up after you crashed. He thought I was in love with you," Mac explained.
"Weren't you?" Harm asked hopefully.
"No I wasn't because you didn't give me any indication that it would be reciprocated. I felt that if you loved me, why was that the first thing that you felt you needed to say to get Sturgis to back off. That told me that you didn't feel that a relationship with me would work. Based on that, I certainly didn't think there was anything romantic between us. I do hope that when you meet someone you want to love, you refrain from saying remarks like that."
"What about what we said at the JAG-A-Thon?"
"At the JAG-A-Thon when we said we were at the beginning, I thought it was just friendship, certainly nothing romantic. "
"Oh really? Well what about the time after that when you told Sturgis that you were in love with me?"
"You found out about that?" Mac asked with wide eyes.
"Yes I did and no it wasn't Sturgis who told me. It was one of the ensigns. He heard you say it as he walked by your office. Your door wasn't fully closed. He told me about it when he was assisting me on a case and he saw me looking at you in a certain way. And no you're not going to find out who it is as he's no longer assigned at JAG HQ."
"We-well, well at the time I was talking about AJ," Mac stammered. Though that wasn't the reason she told Sturgis that day.
At that Harm released her and stepped back saying, "Well I've certainly been played for a fool. I guess all the dinners and dates we went on were only so you could have a good time. Good-bye Mac. I hope you're happy with your choice."
As he turned to leave Mac almost pleaded, "Harm, don't be like that. I still want you at my wedding."
Standing in the middle of the room and speaking now so he could be heard, he said, "Don't be like what, a spoiled child that didn't grow up? You so much as just said I was. And I'll say it again, just like I said when you wanted to marry Bugme. If you feel you need me at your wedding to validate it, then you better re-examine who it is you're going to marry. Better yet, do me a favor Mac. Don't even bother sending me an invitation to your Christmas Eve wedding. I already have enough bad memories of that day. I don't need you and the admiral to add to them."
Turning to Chegwidden who was approaching Mac's side, he practically spat, "And admiral, I'll have MY transfer request on your desk first thing Monday morning. Please don't delay approving it. I don't think it would be appropriate for me to serve under your command any longer. In fact I no longer wish to. Also I have 30 days leave accrued on my books. I'll be taking the rest of the year off until I report to my new billet. I'd very much like to visit my REAL family. That request will on your desk Monday as well."
He turned to leave but then turned and thinking of something else went back to Mac. She stepped back a bit in fright of what she thought he might do. He stopped and leaned in and spoke so that only she and Chegwidden could hear, "You know, I should have known better. You haven't changed a bit. You have the same behavior patterns as before."
"What do you mean?" Mac said her stomach dropping as she half knew what he was going to say.
"Does the name John Farrow ring a bell?" he hissed to her.
Mac stood there stunned as the color drained from her face.
"Now just a minute," Chegwidden said as he tried to grab Harm's arm in an attempt to have him stop so he could upbraid him.
Harm pushed his hand away and contemptuously said, "Don't even think about it, SIR."
All the others stared in horror as Harm turned, picked up his coat and walked out of the restaurant without another word. Harm thanked his lucky stars that he didn't have his Corvette valet parked as he got in and quickly drove away.
After that everyone started making excuses to leave.
When AJ & Mac got into his Escalade, Mac was very subdued, as she dealt with all her conflicting emotions. She was sad that she lost her once best friend and afraid that he would cause trouble. AJ gave her time to digest what she was going through.
About half way to his house in McLean, Mac finally said, "I've never seen him get that angry."
"I'm sure Commander Rabb has been angry before," AJ snorted.
AJ himself was very angry that Rabb had just about accused them of fraternization with his comment about John Farrow, Mac's former CO at her first office billet in Okinawa. She had an affair with him after she was assigned to transfer out and go to law school.
"No you don't understand. He keeps his emotions under a very tight wrap. He's been doing that since his father went MIA. He told me that he felt that he didn't want to add to his mother's burden of misery. When she had his father declared dead, he withdrew into himself even more. He can be very secretive. Look how he managed to go to Vietnam at 16 years old to find his father. His mother didn't find out about it until he was gone. She sent the FBI after him and they brought him back. Then he just withdrew further into himself and went to the Naval Academy."
"Do you think he'll try to cause us any problems?" AJ asked.
"I don't know. He's never shown himself to be vindictive, but if I were you I'd give him his transfer and grant him his leave. It will give him the space he needs to get away and think about why it never worked out for him and me. At least I hope so for his sake," Mac replied.
"And ours," AJ muttered.
Later that evening
Harm's Loft
North of Union Station
As he entered his loft, Harm slammed the door closed behind him and threw his overcoat onto the couch. His suit jacket and tie followed. He went over to the kitchen island where he kept his mail. He flipped through and found the envelope he was looking for. He opened it up and extracted the generic non religious Holiday Greeting card, two tickets for the New Year's Eve performance of the Nutcracker ballet at Kennedy Center and the handwritten note that was between the card fold. He read the note briefly and then picked up the cigarette lighter that he used to light his cigars when he used to smoke them and went over to the wood burning stove in the corner. He lit the note afire and dropped in on the wood. He dropped the greeting card on top of the note and watched that burn to. He thought better about adding the tickets to the fire saying to himself, "Mom and Frank are going to be in town. They'd like to go."
He watched the paper burn and stirred the ashes a little until it was all gone. Then he picked up an empty file box and went around the loft. He took all the photos of Mac from the walls and the shelves and started to fill the box with them. When he got to the bookcase where the photos of he and her at the Roberts' wedding and in Afghanistan stood, he hesitated a bit remembering those days and the related adventure with fondness. Then he placed them in the box as well. He put the box in a corner to be placed in storage later.
He went into his bedroom and opened the top drawer of his dresser. He pulled out the two jewelry boxes and opened them. One had a matching set of his & her gold wedding rings and the other had a 1.5 carat diamond in an antique ring setting. He looked at the initials inscribed on the inside of the diamond ring. HR loves PW. It was the ring his dad gave his mom Patricia or Trish when he proposed.
Holding it up, he said aloud, "Well dad. This is going to have to wait a little longer to be used again."
Harm put the boxes back in the drawer. He got his bottle of Jim Bean and a glass out and poured a generous dollop over ice. He sat down on the couch and took a long swallow.
"Well at least I can drink this without guilt for once."
He drained the drink quickly and went to pour himself another. He sipped at that a bit more conservatively. Then he pulled out his laptop computer, powered it up and opened the Desktop file icon labeled "Transfer Requests". The file was three years old. He went through what he had saved. He wanted one that would place him wholly out of the Navy's JAG Corps, thus out of Chegwidden's chain of command. He knew that with his legal AND aviator skills he had more choices than any other lawyer in JAG.
"Shit, even more than Mackenzie has."
He had already evolved onto referring to Mac by her last name, that's how much he was growing to hate her.
As he worked on the wording for his request, there was a knock on his door. He didn't answer it at once.
He tried to ignore it. He figured that it had to be someone from JAG, but the person behind the door had now resorted to pounding. He finally resorted to "Go away! I'm not very good company right now!"
"C'mon buddy, open up!"
Harm recognized the voice. He sighed and got up. He opened the door to reveal that his caller was, "Jack, what're you doing here?"
Jack Keeter sauntered into the apartment as he said, "Bubblehead Turner gave me a call a little while ago. He said that you could use a friend right about now. He didn't say why though. So being that I was already in town, I'd figured that I'd come on over. Is that Jim Bean I see on your counter?"
"Yeah, help yourself," Harm said returning to the couch and his computer.
When Jack had poured his drink he went over to sit. As he passed behind the couch, he looked at what Harm was working on and asked, "Why are you looking to transfer?"
"I need to get away from Mackenzie and Chegwidden," Harm explained tersely.
"What'd she finally do to piss you off and what's Chegwidden got to do with it?"
"She agreed to marry Chegwidden and on this Christmas Eve yet," Harm said in simple explanation.
Jack whistled softly at that and then said, "Ouch, I see." As he sat down next to Harm to look at his choices, he added "You know being drunk and angry never leads to good decisions."
"I'm angry but I'm not drunk, yet. I've had these choices prepared ever since Mackenzie came home from Oz three years ago with Bugme's ring. I didn't delete the file because after she came back from the Guadalcanal, I thought we were moving forward and that I would be the one to transfer out of JAG HQ command if we wanted to be together. Right now I'm looking for the one that would get me out of the JAG Corps entirely. That way I never have to see her or Chegwidden again," Harm explained.
Jack said sat and looked at the list Harm had on the screen. He saw him delete a file and asked, "How come you didn't pick the executive/legal officer at the Naval Support Facility in Anacostia. With your pilot and legal skills that position is right up your alley."
"Yeah I know. I had that as a choice for getting out of Mackenzie's chain of command so I could ask her to marry me. Like I said I'm looking at posts that will get me not only totally out of JAG but also out of DC. I've had it with this fucking town and its lousy memories," Harm said bitterly.
As he went down his list of open posts he stopped at one, "The Executive Officer position at North Island NAS, near San Diego sounds good. With my record that's also right up my alley and it takes me out of DC."
"So apply for that one," Jack said as he sipped his drink.
"Yeah give me a minute," Harm said as he started to fill out the boiler plate application on the screen.
He finished typing, saved the file to print later and sat back. He was satisfied with his decision. Still he felt the usual sense of melancholia at ending the latest part of his life on a bitter and sad note.
Jack sensed that and said, "Okay, NOW let's get drunk."
Jack reached for the bottle and started refilling Harm's and his glasses with bourbon.
Monday, December 16, 2002
0600 Hours Local
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, VA
It was still dark when Harm got to JAG. He was pleased to see that Mac and the admiral's cars weren't there. They were notorious for being early.
He knew the admiral would insist on him clearing his cases before he left. So the previous day, despite his hangover, he went to headquarters to do just that after he went to 8:00 o'clock mass at his local Catholic church,.
He carried his briefcase and a full to bursting accordion folder into his office.
He entered his office and hung his coat up. Then he sat down at his desk with the cup of store bought coffee. He didn't want to get caught in break room with either of the two.
Even though he had his blinds closed, he still was able to see Mac pass by on the way to her office. Shortly thereafter he heard Tiner announce, "Attention on Deck!" signaling that Chegwidden was there. Harm waited until the admiral reached his office and then he got up with his transfer request and leave request in a manila folder and the accordion folder.
When Tiner saw him, Harm simply pointed at the office door.
Tiner buzzed and announced, "Admiral, Commander Rabb to see you sir."
Harm heard him sigh as he said, "Send him in."
Harm approached the desk and stood at attention and simply announced, "Sir my transfer and leave requests."
Chegwidden reached his hand out and Harm gave him the manila folder. He stayed standing as he read them for a time.
After he perused the documents, he placed the folder open on the desk and taking a pen, signed both requests and announced, "Request for transfer granted. You will begin your new billet at North Island on January 2, 2003. Tiner will cut your orders and send the paperwork to BUPERS for processing. Request for leave delayed until you have cleared all your cases."
"Sir, I already did that yesterday. They are all in Tiner's in basket with all of my notes and recommendations therein. I only need to hand over this one last case sir," Harm announced as he plopped the accordion folder on the big desk.
"What the hell is this commander?"
"Sir it's Colonel O'Hara's file. I've been his lawyer all this time. I was always working on getting him out of prison, even when I went back to flying. Besides doing my job to the best of my ability, I thought I also had a vested interest. Now that I no longer have that interest, I no longer wish to work that case. I have faxed a letter to Leavenworth to inform the colonel that I am severing myself from the case. Since you're marrying his niece, maybe you or she can take over his appeal. Just before Thanksgiving I submitted a brief to President Bush to request a pardon. Consider it my wedding present," Harm said with a bit of snark.
"Watch your tone commander. You got away with it at the restaurant because we were in a social setting," Chegwidden threatened.
"Aye sir I'll keep that in mind," Harm said still at attention.
Chegwidden noticed that he didn't apologize for that and what he said at the restaurant. He let it slide for the sake of expediency. He said, "Very well commander. You're excused from this morning's staff call. I'll let you take the morning to clear your office and you can begin your leave right after you do that."
"Thank you sir, is that all?" Harm asked as a way of requesting to be dismissed.
"No not just yet," AJ said reaching into his breast pocket and extracting an envelope. He reached over the desk offering it to Harm.
"Mac wanted you to have this. She sat up all night writing and re-writing it. She didn't show me what she wrote as she explained that it was for your eyes only. So please don't just discard it without first reading it. She ordered me to make you promise you would read it. She said that you never break your promises," AJ almost pleaded.
Harm had to grin a bit at Mac giving the admiral an order. He reached for and respectfully took the envelope and put it in his own breast pocket.
He sighed as he said, "I promise I'll read it, maybe when I'm not so damned angry."
"I understand," Chegwidden said. He offered his hand over the desk.
Tamping his anger down, Harm took it in a firm grip saying, "Thank you sir. Despite this latest episode, it was an honor serving under your command."
Keeping hold of his hand AJ said, "It was an honor having you commander, good-bye and good luck. I know you will think this cruel of me, but when you find someone you want to love, treat her kindly and tell her that you love her. Maybe if you did that with Mac, I'd be the one on the other end of this good-bye."
Harm gulped a bit at that as he now sincerely said, "I'll also keep that in mind sir. Will that be all?"
"Yes dismissed," AJ replied for the last time to him.
Harm stepped back and braced himself back to attention and said, "Aye, aye sir." He turned about and marched out of the office.
As Harm walked to his office and went in, he saw that the blinds to Mac's office were closed. He was glad for that. Being that it was still 0730 hours, there were still very few people in the bullpen. He was thankful for that as well.
"Less people to say goodbye to," Harm muttered to himself.
He had already taken his personal property he kept in his office home the previous day when he left after clearing his caseload. It didn't take him long to scan his office and square it away for its next occupant. He picked up his briefcase, coat and cover and went back out to the bullpen and then through the double doors. He avoided the elevator and took the stairs to the Lobby. He handed his personal building ID Pass to the gunnery sergeant in charge and signed himself out of the building.
The gunny, named Walters, said in surprise, "Got a hot case commander?"
"No gunny, just a new billet. The admiral just signed off on it," Harm said in a hurry, anxious to leave and avoid the Roberts' and Turner's imminent arrival.
"Well good luck then sir," Walters said extending his hand.
Harm gratefully took it in a firm shake. When they released Walters stood back, locked up to attention and bellowed, "Attention on deck, Officer departing!" Then he snapped and held a salute. All of the non-coms, marines and sailors alike, stopped where they were, turned to Harm and snapped and held their salutes.
Harm put his briefcase down and facing Walters locked himself to attention. He snapped a parade ground quality salute and held it for the requisite 5 seconds. When he dropped his salute he said, "As you were people and Semper Fi!"
"Hoorah sir!" they all bellowed in reply.
Harm picked his briefcase up and proudly walked out the door into the morning sun.
