In the small town of Kakariko, in a newly opened dairy Milk Bar is a blond boy in green clothes sitting in front of a bar with few friends face, watery eyes and lost look.
The waiter can not help but feel compassion for the young man and decided to speak to him.
- Why the long face?-.
Link directed the look at him and decided to try to be as kind as possible.
- Sir, if you knew I would understand ... - I reply with sadness.
- You can tell me if you want, there is no problem that has no solution.
- All right ... it all started ... -.
Flash Back
Link and Saria were always best lifelong friends. During her stay in the Kokiri Forest, she and the Great Deku Tree were always her moral support.
He was deeply in love with Saria but did not dare to admit his feelings for fear that his friendship would be lost.
One day his routine changed when Navi came into his life and started her epic adventure. The only consolation for Link was that he could keep in touch with the green-haired girl thanks to the ocarina and her fairy.
Seven years had passed and Link had become a handsome, well-rounded man. After learning of the grave danger that his best friend did not see for a long time, he went to the Temple of the Forest and fought against the evil beasts that were in the place.
Upon beating Ganondorf's Phantom, a portal was opened which teleported him to the chamber of the Sages and discovered that indeed Saria was the one who knew the Forest.
After a brief chat they were about to say goodbye and Link wanted to take the time to confess her love but what she told him, shattered inside.
- We'll always be friends..- Saria said sweetly.
Those three simple words were enough to take away the dream for almost a week and plunge into a mild depression.
End of Flash Back
- But boy, she was a kokiri anyway and will be a little girl forever-.
- Yes, but there is not everything ...-.
Flash Back
Link was running towards the waterfall of the river where the zoras inhabited, he to the effort to remain calm and his head still ached by the "affection" samples of Darunia.
Upon arriving at his destination he found that Princess Ruto had disappeared and in order to advance he needed to be able to swim deeper. After losing all his rupees due to his countless failures, he finally win a zora fin, swimming until Lake Hylia got a message of help from the princess and returned again with King Zora, who finally opened the way.
Link to enter Jabu Jabu offered him a fish and hours later against all odds for the disgust, tiredness, complaints and electric shocks, he had rescued Ruto and obtained the last spiritual stone in exchange for "engaging" with her .. Which he did not like, since the Princess of the Zoras was not exactly very graceful.
Years after being roasted by Volvagia wanted to go to see the zoras but to his surprise on arrival he realized that everything was frozen and after a little adventure could unfreeze King Zora and Sheik explained that Princess Ruto had gone to the temple of the water.
When he got back to the place, he meet that annoying girl who was now transformed into an attractive woman, Link smiling mischievously, I agreed to help her finish with the monsters.
After a while Link fought against Dark Link, it was a hard battle but the hero was victorious although with multiple physical and psychological damages.
Finally he overcame the chief and as was custom was transported to the sages chamber again.
The princess Zora flooded him multiple times and he only wanted his reward but ... his plans were frustrated because Ruto and his person had to stay in different worlds.
A few hours later Link was furious all he had to suffer for was in vain .. he was beaten, electrocuted, used as a donkey, insulted, drowned and even his reflection robbed him of his identity and used his own attacks against him.
Blinded by rage he walked around hyrule killing how much monster he will cross his path even lost his fear for the redead and the Dead Hand. In the end the boy quenched his thirst for revenge and ended up lying in his bed crying gracefully like a baby and with several wounds on his body.
End of Flash Back
- Man ... you were not in love with that fish girl, you only wanted her for her body- said the waiter seriously.
-It's true, but ... do not you think that after spending so much time at least a good butt would have been enough?- exclaimed Link indignantly.
- You're right, well is that all?-.
- No ... there's still someone missing ...- the blonde murmured darkly as he looked down.
Flash Back
After running under the sun in the Hyrule meadow, having overcome his obstacles, Link had met with Princess Zelda but to be honest he was more aware of her beauty than of his words.
When she asked him to look for the spiritual stones, he completed his mission in the hope of seeing her again, however, things did not go well ... she escaped from Ganondorf and if it were not enough he made fun of Link and step He attacked
Link went directly to the Temple of Time and when he took out the Master Sword his soul was trapped for seven years, upon awakening Rauru explained everything but he only had three things in mind: first to save Hyrule, second to win the heart of Princess Zelda and third to take revenge Of Ganondorf.
Then the hero was determined to perform with determination his objectives until after all difficulties beat Ganondorf, saved Hyrule, released the wise and now was again with his princess everything seemed a dream come true.
Link and Zelda floated in the sky they both talked and the minutes seemed hours, Link was only concentrated in her eyes but just as he prepared his lips to kiss her, Zelda suddenly touched the ocarina of time and returned to the boy to his childhood.
It had been months and Link was still in shock he could not believe that Zelda simply gave it back in time just like that and in case it was not enough Navi abandoned him like a dog.
End of Flash Back
- It is very tragic seriously but she is a princess and the princesses marry monarchs, not with plebeians.
-Well, this simple plebeian was the one who risked everything to save that bitch's ass- Link spat.
- .. And what about the beautiful daughter of Talon? She is within reach, young man- he insisted hopefully.
- True! I had forgotten to not ... it turns out that I wanted to invite Malon to leave but she confessed to me that she is a lesbian and that she is with the lady cucco! - the blond replied sternly.
- Creator goddesses of Hyrule! Boy, you have very bad luck with women!- Exclaimed the waiter, laughing non-stop.
- If old man makes fun ... I'll be happy being remembered as Link " The Fucking Friendzone Hero" -he finally said wryly as he left the bar.
