Chapter 1: starting over again.
Link awoke is a place that he'd seen once before, he'd must have died. Now he was back here.
"OH NO, NO NO NO NO NO!" Link moaned. "DON'T EVEN SAY WE ARE DOING A SEQUEL WHAT DID I DO TO YOU!"
"Shut up! I liked the first one. So I'm gonna put you through hell again." Said the writer. Link looked hard and saw a glowing blue light.
"Hey listen!"
"Crap." Link said. Knowing what that sound meant.
"Linky poo, I'm here too!" Said the demon fish.
"Double crap!" Link said.
"Prepare for the worst speech of your life. From me the mighty owl."
"Triple crap."
"Oh Link, I the princess of Hyrule, want my revenge."
"Double the triple crap." Link said very said.
"OH OH MR. FAIRY."
"Hey Listen." Navi doesn't like being left out.
"I wish I could threaten you but my butt is just too big." We all know who that is.
"MY TREE CURSE THE DAY!"
"You gotta be kidding my." Link pulled out his sword and quickly stabbed Ruto in the head, she let it happen. She suddenly re-spawned next to Link.
"ISN'T THIS GREAT NOW WE CAN BE TOGETHER FOREVER!"
"Dude this is so un-freaking fair." Link moaned.
"Oh yes it is, you see you killed us and took us out of the world therefore, you were killed to be annoyed for all entirety by us. You see because even if you kill use we spawn right where we were when we were killed because this is the afterlife. So killing us does no actual good, because we spawn again right next to you. To spawn means to reappear. So we will reappear next to you. Do you understand?" Asked Keaporea Geaporea.
"Link your so beautiful. Your so utterly beautiful. I feel so lucky to have you be mine, I just I don't know how to say the words."
"I do," Said Link. "Not at all."
"You see you killed us and took us out of the world therefore, you were killed to be annoyed for all entirety by us. You see because even if you kill use we spawn right where we were when we were killed because this is the afterlife. So killing us does no actual good, because we spawn again right next to you. To spawn means to reappear. So we will reappear next to you. Do you understand?"
"Hey listen." Ruto start hugging Link tightly.
"Shh.. I understand I don't need to say anything, you already understand." She said.
"I really hate my life." Said Link.
"Actually you see your dead so you hate your death. Which is good cause I hate suicidal people." Zelda said and hugged him. "You know Ruto is right. You are nice."
"Ew.. Gross, you've been with Ruto too long." Link stabbed them both. They both appeared right next to him.
"Hey listen."
"Mr. Fairy. Mr. Fairy."
"You see you killed us and took us out of the world therefore, you were killed to be annoyed for all entirety by us. You see because even if you kill use we spawn right where we were when we were killed because this is the afterlife. So killing us does no actual good, because we spawn again right next to you. To spawn means to reappear. So we will reappear next to you. Do you understand?"
"SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU JUST SHUT THE FRICK UP. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!" Link cried, with very little dignity.
"Aw.. my poor baby. I love you it's ok." Said Ruto.
"Yeah you'll be ok." Said Zelda. Link sat and wept because, he knew there was no way to escape this hell.
"I'm a big blubber nugget!"
"Hey listen."
"You see you killed us and took us out of the world therefore, you were killed to be annoyed for all entirety by us. You see because even if you kill use we spawn right where we were when we were killed because this is the afterlife. So killing us does no actual good, because we spawn again right next to you. To spawn means to reappear. So we will reappear next to you. Do you understand?"
"NO! I'm sorry I'll never kill anyone ever again, I will even stop using the bathroom outside. Just let me OUT." Sorry that's not within power.
"Hey listen."
"I swear I am actually a blubber nugget." Said the Zora King.
"I hate you stupid writer."
"Yeah well start the freaking club. People want this story so I'm going to give them what they want live with it." Said the writer.
"Couldn't you at least make me more you know heroic?" Asked Link, looking at his puny muscles.
"You have a freaking sword shut up or I'll take that away." Link shut up.
"Hey listen."
"Yeah I am a blubber nugget, don't believe me look at my official card. See creature - Blubber nugget. HA!"
"Mr. fairy. MR. FAIRY."
"I love you Link." Said Zelda.
"But not as much as me." Said Ruto.
