Alternate ending for 1.02, Red Hair and Silver Tape
I realise this is much too early on in the series (and their friendship) for them to have these sorts of conversations, but I couldn't help it! Bear with me and pretend they've known each other longer than they actually have at this point ;)
"Put the gun down!" Lisbon yelled before another shot sounded and suddenly there were two dead people instead of one. Jane stared at Lisbon, and he could see his own wide-eyed horror reflected on her face. He saw her lip tremble briefly - very briefly, so brief even he might've missed it had he not been hopped up on adrenalin - but then she pulled herself together and knelt down to tend to the kidnap victim, stoic mask in place once more.
•LJLJLJLJLJ•
"I don't get it," Van Pelt murmured as the funeral came to an end. "She actually enjoyed helping him kill. One crazy evil person, I understand. But two? Husband and wife? Marriage is supposed to be a sacred, loving thing."
Jane took a deep breath, glancing at Lisbon. She'd been unusually quiet since the double-murder a couple of days prior. "They were soulmates in their own, strange way," he replied, watching her reaction closely. She sighed silently but otherwise didn't acknowledge their exchange.
After the funeral had ended, Cho, Rigsby and Van Pelt left, leaving Jane and Lisbon alone. Although he was standing behind her, he could see the tension in her shoulders and the way she kept swallowing fiercely, even more so when the parents of their original murder victim - that girl - gave her a slight nod, by way of thanks.
Yeah, that'll make her feel less guilty, Jane thought sarcastically as he waited patiently for her to face him and tell him curtly that they were leaving, as he was sure she'd do - her voice always grew sharp when she was trying to conceal how upset she was.
And she was upset, he knew - no matter how hard she'd been trying to hide it. He wasn't going to leave without her, and he most definitely wasn't going to leave until she was okay again. Well, maybe not one hundred percent okay, because that could take a while, he reflected. But he was at least going to make her smile. She was taking a surprisingly long time to turn around, though. Still he waited patiently. She shouldn't be alone right now, and he would see to it that she wasn't, even if it would end up having to be against her express wishes.
Eventually she muttered without turning to look at him, "I'm going for a walk. Don't wait around."
"Lisbon-"
"Don't, Jane," she said softly, back still turned. "I... I just need a walk, okay? I'm fine."
Unconvinced, he took a couple of steps forward so he could see her face, not the least bit surprised to find tears in her eyes that she wouldn't let fall.
"You're fine, are you?" His voice was amused, but his eyes betrayed his concern. He paused for a moment, before saying, "Come on." He reached for her hand.
When she didn't move, he said again, more gently, "Come on. Come for that walk you say you want, and then I'll buy you lunch. I know a nice little place near here..."
She stared at him, eyes tired and unseeing. He knew she hadn't been sleeping. "Fine," she said wearily after a moment.
Jane smiled one of his most brilliant smiles and took her hand, giving it a squeeze.
They wandered through the trees till he found a bench under a shady tree. It was quiet, secluded - peaceful. He led her over to the bench and sat down, gesturing for her to sit beside him. "Lovely place for a funeral," he commented after a while, glancing at her.
"Mm," she agreed absently.
Jane searched her face. "Lisbon... it's okay." That got her attention.
"What is?" she asked sharply, immediately on the defensive as she turned to glare at him. There it is, Jane thought.
"Being upset. Crying. Grieving. Everything that comes with the whole death-package. It's nothing to be ashamed about. It's natural."
"I'm not upset," she said, in a tone that warned him not to argue.
He'd never been much good at heeding warnings.
"Look, you clearly are," he said, suppressing the urge to roll his eyes at her terrible lying skills. "I mean, you're crying, for Pete's sake."
"No I'm not." She quickly wiped the tears from her eyes, the tears that were threatening to spill over now more than ever, but more replaced them just as quickly.
"Yes, you are," he said gently. "And it's okay. You're allowed to cry, you're allowed to be upset. You did just kill two people."
"Gee, thanks for the reminder," she snapped, moving to get up. Jane caught her wrist, and she turned on him, mouth open, but Jane interrupted her.
"Lisbon, look at me. It's better to cry here, where it's just me, than break down in the office in front of all your coworkers. You'll feel a thousand times worse if you do that. You know what I'm saying makes sense. Let yourself be upset."
Tears welled up in her eyes - she knew he was right in that regard - but she shook her head stubbornly even as she sat back down beside him. She would much rather go home, where she could curl up on the couch under an old blanket and cry herself to sleep. However, maybe he had a point. Maybe she needed a friend. She sighed, feeling herself relenting.
Knowing he had won, Jane put his arm around her shoulders, allowing her to lean into him as she closed her eyes, still trying to fight the losing battle of holding back the sobs building inside her. She wouldn't cry, she wouldn't. Not in front of him. God, he'd mock her for who knew how long.
As if he could read her thoughts, Jane murmured, "I'm not going to make fun of you for being upset, Lisbon. This is not some kind of elaborate con. I genuinely don't want you to feel sad - or guilty - and the only sure-fire way to feel any better is to let it all out. You're safe here, it's okay."
That did it. 'You're safe here'? she thought as a sob finally escaped her. Damn it, Jane.
She buried her face in her hands in an attempt to hide it as she broke down, but he wrapped his other arm around her and pulled her into a tight hug, resting his chin atop her head and rocking gently from side to side in a way that she found surprisingly calming. "It's alright, that's it, just let it all out," he murmured soothingly. "You're not alone, Lisbon. You'll be okay, it's alright..."
Eventually Lisbon stopped trembling against him and pulled back, looking even more exhausted than before.
He reached across and stroked her hair gently, letting his hand come to rest on her cheek, gently wiping a stray tear away with the pad of his thumb. "Better?" he asked quietly, marvelling at her beauty.
She nodded, giving him a small, grateful smile before her face turned serious. "You can't ever tell anyone about this. Promise?"
"Cross my heart," he said, smiling warmly as he stood up, pulling her with him. "Come on, let's get you home. I'm driving - you're practically falling asleep on your feet."
"You don't know where I live!" she protested.
He winked at her. "Wanna bet?"
"Have you been stalking me?" she teased, playfully pushing his shoulder. "I should've known - Jane's a creepy stalker. Wow. So obvious in hindsight."
They started walking back to her car, brushing up against each other with each step.
"Ah, Lisbon, you got me. Thought my cover was damn good, too!"
Jane grinned as she shot him a really, you thought you could fool me? look, complete with the raised eyebrow and complimentary smirk. She was going to be just fine.
