This is my first Constantine fic, so please tell me if anything needs work, or if you liked it and would read more of these fics if I wrote them.

Zed knocked on the door to Constantine's room crossing her arms, he night had been shit. She had told Jim hwas going to die, and then she'd been too drained to bother stopping his kiss, and then John had seen it, and then she'd had to shoot the man down, and he tried to play it cool, but everything else between them had been awkward and weird. A olive toned girl with dark curls opened the door wrapped in a sheet, it was like looking in a fun house mirror.

"Hello?" The chubby short doppelganger asked, Zed's gaze flicked to John's bare ass as he lay speed egeal on the bed face down and clearly passed out.

"Hey, tell John to get dressed so we don't miss our flight." She told the woman dryly, she beamed looking back at him.

"So that's his name." The girl said going over to the bed and shaking John by the shoulder. Zed leaned against the open door frame waiting impatiently, she knew she should have come over sooner.

"I'm up, just stop bloody shakin me!" He groaned pushing up on his arms, giving her a none too decent view. He still hdthe damn condom on his now flacid cock, even all rumpled and gross, Zed couldn't help but appreciate how easy he was on the eyes, not muscular, but very fit. John stood up in her direction his eyes half opened to shield from the sun pouring in the open window. He pukledout a fag, and reached down peeling off his hardly used condom, he'd passed out long before it had seen proper action.

"Classy." Zed finally took pity on him, his head snapped up the ciggy hanging loosely from his lips.

"Jesus, Marry, and Joseph! Did we..." He started, he remembered a mop of dark curly hair, but he hadn't thought it was hers. She pointed behind him, he saw a still thin, but softer, fuller curved short version of Zed.

"Sorry luv, didn't see ya there. Ya wouldn't happen to have seen my knickers have ya?" He asked, she giggled pointing to the pile of clothes, he flashed her a smile and went over to get dressed feeling in no way bashful in front of the two women. Zed's gaze went from the triangle tattooed in heavy black lines on his skin down to his surprisingly nice ass while he dressed with his back to her.

"Have fun at the pub last night luv?" He asked, she rolled her eyes remembering the horror of trying to let Jim down easy.

"No, it was awkward. Jim is a nice guy and all, but well... He was hard to let down easy." She told him, he looked up from his button up shirt cocking an eyebrow at her. He was a nice guy, John had thought she would have jumped at the chance to be with a nice normal guy who knew about this gift.

"Poor Jimbo, guess it's for the best, what with him kickin the bucket soon and all." John teased grabbing his bag, he shot the girl a wink and closed the door behind him. Zed rolled her eyes grabbing her own bag from the floor of the hall.

"Chas called, he said we should swing by Daton, something about more unexplained coma victims. He's waiting outside." She told him, he clicked his gold lighter open lighting his fag.

"So ya lied to that sweet bird about us missin our flight then?" He asked, Zed rolled her eyes.

"I'll start feeling guilty if you can tell me her name." Zed told him, he chuckled billowing smoke into the lobby.

"Fair enough." He said flicking the ash from his cherry taking long heavy drags to finish his smoke before they got to Chas's taxi.

"Put it out!" Chas told him just as he dropped it crushing it under his toe.

"Done mate, no worries." He teased, and they got in, the drive was long enough for John to get a solid nap in while Chas and Zed talked about his family.

"Wake up John!" Zed called out smacking him lightly in the back of the head while they parked.

"How much did you drink last night?" Chas asked as he got out, Constantine wiped his face with both hands.

"Too much mate, like always. So this is it hu, seems peaceful, let's go see these coma blokes." He said leading them in, Chas shook his head, which made Zed laugh, John looked over his shoulder at them, but before he could comment he had to lie to the nurse to get them into the coma ward.

"Look at that!" John pointed to the tiles a maintinence man was changing out, all covered in wet rot.

"What happened here mate?" John asked pointing to the wet tiles, the man looked down sneering at the tiles.

"Stupid pipes must be leaking, this is the second time in as many weaks that I've had to change these stupid things!" He growled, John nodded touching the rot as he walked by licking his finger as they went over to one of the patients.

"Oh ya, this is deffinetly a demon." John said pulling holy water, and a jar of some kind of ash.

"In nomine patris, et filii, et spiritus sancti eiciam vos de!" John said smearing the ash in the form of a cross and splashing the water on the stranger. A white light flashed throwing John back into the wall. Ashen smoke billowed from each of the bodies swirling around them into a hulking demon. John gaped at the behemoth, he wasn't prepared for this.

"Oh God, please help us!" Zed pleaded, and to his surprise a beam of heavenly light shot through the ceiling and wings unfurled around a striking blond man who looked a lot like Many with the exception of his arien features. He swung down with a blade of light splitting the beast in two. It screamed the smoke dissipating, and the angel swirled around.

"Who the bloody hell are you?" John asked, as the angel looked at him, he sheathed the sword of light.

"Gadreel, you called and I answered, God will always help you when you truely need him John Constantine. Be at peace." He told them flapping off, John rolled his eyes, angels were so pretentious.

"Bloody wanker." John mumbled, Zed sagged, and John spun around catching her before she fell.

"You alright luv?" He asked, steadying her, she looked up at him with wide eyes her hands fisted in his shirt.

"It was just that demon, I could feel it's darkness, it weighed on me. I'm sorry." She whispered, he tucked a strand of her hair back.

"I've got ya luv." He whispered back, she smiled tucking closer to him.

∆ † ∆ ∆ † ∆

John flew back into the wall landing with a thud, he arched away from the wall tilting his head back sucking in a breath before collapsing back.

"John!" Zed and Chas ran to him, the maintinence man had left before John had started leaving them alone thankfully, but he wasn't waking up.

"His pulse is strong, Maybe it just nocked him silly. Let's get him to the cab." Chas said scooping him up, the man he'd been standing over started to stir.

"He did it, that seems too easy." Zed mumbled as they carried John between them trying to make him look normal.

"I don:'t think John would agree." Chas teased, Zed chuckled and they walked him out without incident. The drove all the way back to the house, and Constantine still hadn't woken up. They carried him inside and as they got down the stairs something caught Chas's eye. He practically dropped John to go over and grab it, Zed stumbled under his added weight managing to fall with him to the couch.

"What the hell Chas!" She snapped, he spun around holding up a crystal that she recognized from when they met Jim.

"The demon wasn't banished, it let those people go, and latched onto John!" Chas told her, she looked over at him splayed out awkwardly beside her.

"What do we do?" She asked, Chas sat down beside her looking over at John who's mouth was hanging open awkwardly.

"I don't know that's always been John's area. We need help Zed." Chas admitted, she frowned reaching out and stroking John's arm.

"What about midnight?" She asked, Chas shook his head laying back with a heavy sigh closing his eyes.

"No, midnight's as likely to kill him as he is to help him." Chas told her, she frowned not even realizing it when she started tracing absent patterns on his arm.

"Is it possession, I mean we could play one of his exorcisms on that tape?" She tried, Chas watched her worry over him her hand never leaving the bare skin left by his rolled up sleeve.

"No, he's not possessed he has wards against that, this demon is just feeding off him. It has to be strong too, if the preexisting connection wasn't severed by the wards on this place, unless... Unless he isn't fighting it." Chas told her, Zed frowned dropping her head back in exasperation.

"What about Anne Marie?" She asked, Chas nodded slowly really thinking about that possibility.

"Ya, she would probably at least know what was happening to him, if she'll help." He answered, Zed pulled out her phone.

"Let's find out." She said dialing her number.

∆ † ∆ ∆ † ∆

He took Zed home, and life went on in something of a blur. They fought demon's and then he found the way to save the soul of the little girl he'd damned. It was a hard bloody struggle, but they set it right. He had limped home with Zed both of them hurting, Chas had lost three lives and had gone home to his family.

"You almost died tonight." Zed whispered as they got to the first bed they could reach in the house.

"You too luv, sorry for draggin ya into all this." He mumbled falling back into the bed, Zed fell back beside him.

"I chose this John, I love this life, I... I love you." Her last words were hardly even a whisper, but John heard them all the same. He rolled onto his side his hand coming up to cup her cheek. She looked over at him, and he didn't say it, but he kissed her with everything he had, and she understood the message all the same.

She tasted like honey and black tea and the blood from her split lip, she wrapped her arms around him eagerly tangling her fingers in his hair. Eventually he had to pull away from her soft sweet lips to breath again, she looked up at him with dark lust filled eyes that shone with love.

"Stay with me tonight John!" She pleaded as he kissed her neck his hands drifting down her sides.

"Anythin you want luv." He assured her, as she worked to unbutton his blood stained white shirt.

They made love there in the middle of the sitting room on the cot bed Chas had brought out when they excersized him. John had never felt anything like he did with Zed, and for the first time he didn't sneak out of bed when he woke up. They didn't leave that bed for anything but food and to piss until two days later when Chas came back and nearly blinded himself.

Everything changed after that, his smile came easier, and life was good for the first time ever. Eventually Zed convinced him, and they got married, and they were even thinking that maybe having a kid wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

∆ † ∆ ∆ † ∆

"Balban, he's a demon of delusion. He must be trapped in his delusion, most likely he doesn't even know. As far as I know he could snap himself out of it if he just knew he was in it." Anne Marie told them when she finally got there, they had John in the cot bed now.

"So how do we tell him then?" Zed asked sitting on the bed beside him, Anne Marie looked down at him.

"I can send one of you into his mind like I do with bilocation, but it has to be someone who'd still be in the life he thinks he's living." She told them, Zed looked over at his sleeping form a lax smile playing on his lips.

"I'll do it." She told them Chas shook his head crouching down beside her looking worried.

"No, Zed I will, it could be dangerous!" Chas insisted, she shook her head her hand going to his.

"Do you really think he'll listen to you?" She asked, Chas sighed if anyone could get him to listen it was Zed.

"Okay, but we're pulling you out at the first sign of danger." Chas told her, Zed smiled at him.

"Okay, lay back beside him, and keep holding his hand. It helps if there's a loop." Anne told her, Zed looked down at their clasped hands, she hadn't even meant to touch him. She scooted John over laying beside him and Anne Marie moved to the head of the tiny cot bed while Chas paced.

"Chas we need alcohol, something strong." She told him putting her hands on both of their heads.

"To lubricate the transition, or..." He started to ask, Anne Marie held her hand up stopping him.

"No, for you to drink, your pacing is distracting." She told him, Zed laughed, and Anne closed Zed's eyes. Zed woke up in a much larger bed in what looked like John's room, but with her drawing and things scattered around it. She sat up realizing she was in just one of John's white button up shirts and nothing else.

"Mornin luv, I made breakfast!" She looked up at John who was carrying a tray full of breakfast food, and wearing nothing but his black slacks hanging low on his hips.

"What?" She asked looking around for more clothes, she felt dizzy, and confused, this place looked so real.

"Alright, Chas made breakfast and I knicked it, but it's the thought and all. Are you alright luv?" He asked, while she scrambled to stay covered up with him setting the food down to crawl into bed.

"No, John this isn't real, Balban has you under his delusion!" She told him, he furrowed his brows.

"No luv, Gadreel vanquished Balban almost a decade ago. Is that the last thing you remember?" He asked coming around to crouch in front of her grabbing a jar on his way over.

"No, I remember you trying to cast him out, and it knocking you out, he's feeding on you now!" She pleaded for him to believe her, he took a pinch of whatever he had blowing it at her, she blinked as it made her eyes water.

"Bloody Chas! I told him to get rid of that slate, it trapped your mind in whatever dream you were havin last night luv, I'm here, and I love you, ya just have to fight it, and don't do anythin while I go wipe that bloody slate." He told her putting his hands on her knees and getting up. Before he walked away he pressed a chaste kiss to her lips like it was the most normal thing in the world.

She was too stunned to protest, he had kissed her, his little dream bubble had them happily in love. She looked down at her finger finding a wide gold band covered in tiny etching much like his lighter on her left ring finger. She examined it for a moment before he came back, and she saw a similar band on his left hand.

"Are we married?" She exclaimed, he tossed a small grey slate on the bed looking at his hand.

"Three years now luv, haven't killed me yet. These were your idea, got 'em spelled down in New Orleans by Mamma Otway." He told her digging through a drawer until he pulled out a cream colored rag.

"Part of the shroud of St. Peter should do the trick. Might be a tick before ya feel yerself again." He explained reaching past he for the slate, leaving his bare chest so close she could feel his heat.

"I'm not the one under a spell John, you have to fight this, Anne Marie can only hold me in here for so long." Zed told him, he wiped the slate tossing it aside and moving to sit behind her.

"If this is a delusion, why in the name a Christ would I want to break it luv? You remember my life before we defeated Balban, I was a lonely wanker, who could hardly even remember how to hope for sod all." He told her wrapping his arms around her and leaning his head on her shoulder while he talked. She never realized how miserable his life must be, but she didn't doubt that it was.

"You said you love me." She whispered making no move to escape the warmth of his arms.

"Of coarse I do luv, I always did. I watched everyone I loved get destroyed, killed, or worse, so I was rightly hesetant to spill my guts, but I always loved you." He told her, she shifted so she could look back at him.

"I love you too John, that's why I need you to fight this. Ya the real world hurts, but it's worth it. If you don't you'll die in here, and I'll lose you forever. If I'm wrong then nothing happens, please John!" She pleaded, he closed his eyes as if he was trying to shield himself from her words.

"I like it here luv." He whispered, leaning in and kissing her soft and sweet at first, but as she pressed into him her lips hungry for his taste of cigarettes, Jack, and the heady spice that was all his own he tangled his tongue with hers.

"Please John, I can't lose you!" She pleaded desperately against his lips, the stubble of a day without shaving tickling her chin.

"I'm right here luv, I'll give it a whorl, but... Let me have this." He whispered pulling her up so she straddled his waist. Her wet heat pressed against the buldge in his slacks without restriction, as she was nearly naked.

"Love me John." She breathed kissing his neck, this was all she'd wanted since the day she met the real him. The one who had crawled in the hospital bed with her, who caught her when she fell, who sent angels to check up on her, who promised to keep her safe from her father, and who risks his life almost every day to save innocent lives. She just wanted to be loved by him, because he loved with everything he had.

He worked on the buttons of his shirt while he kissed her, her hands explored every inch of him that she could reach. She'd been waiting so long to touch him, he groaned when she rolled her hips into him. No one knew, but she had never had sex before, her father had made sure of that, but now, here with him it felt so right. She wondered for a moment if he would ever admit his love in real life if he even felt that way, but all thoughts fled her as his shirt fell off her shoulders and his lips found her breasts, his free hand snaking between them and circling her clit.

"John!" She gasped bucking into his hand, he chuckled nipping just below her ear, and making her whole body quiver. He seemed to know all her favorite tricks, even when she didn't.

"That's it luv, come for me." He purred flicking his tongue along the shell of her ear, she whimpered doing just that. She came undone around him rocking against his incredibly hard cock. She bit down on the hollow of his neck to keep quiet her hands going down to struggle with the button on his slacks.

He bucked up into her, and she rose up enough to free his cock, he was so big, no wonder the ladies loved John Constantine, he was a hell of a grower. She settled back down sheathing him deep inside her. She whinced expecting the pain of breaking her maiden head, but instead she welcomed him in like old lovers.

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph Zed you're so soddin tight!" He growled little details of reality blending with this world, but not all. She grinned rocking her hips, he bucked deeper putting his hand back to work as shroade him hard.

"Oh God yes, John!" She mewled as he worked her back over the edge, he smirked flipping them over and working into her hard her hips pulled up to keep her riding her orgasm until he spilled into her.

"Zed!" He roared collapsing into her, she wrapped herself around him whimpering pathetically, feeling sated and oh so relaxed.

"I love you Zed." He murmured against her skin, she beamed kissing his neck over the mark she'd left.

"I love you too, so much John. Come home with me!" She pleaded, and then she was gone, John fell to the bed with a start.

"Zed! Zed!" He cried out jumping out of the bed, he finally believed her, because if this was real he'd lost her.

∆ † ∆ ∆ † ∆

Zed sat up with a start looking around frantically, she had been so relaxed, everything had been perfect. Her eyes found John laying beside her his brow creased with worry, and he flew up frantically looking around until he found Zed.

"Bloody hell! You lot drag me behind the bloody car, I feel like piss!" He complained rubbing his face, both on lookers laughed.

"We were worried you were being hurt, we thought we'd pulled you out too soon. What do you two remember?" Chas asked, Anne Marie met Zed's embarrassed gaze, and she knew at least one of them remembered.

"Sod all mate, it's a blur after I hit that bloody wall!" John answered, and Zed's heart sunk lower then she'd ever felt.

"Ya, me too." Zed mumbled getting up and rushing out of the room, they all watched her go.

"Don't blame her there, might go void my own stomach, gotta work on your bedside manner luv." John said holding his stomach and getting up to follow her despite not feeling the least bit nauseous. He went to the room he knew she would be in rapping on the door frame once.

"You alright luv?" He asked moving to sit beside her in the serene land scape, she shook her head.

"I just... It's all muddled and I just feel... Hollow." She whispered, the last part was true, but she remembered every second.

"Like ya had somethin for just a second that was so bloody perfect, and now it's up and vanished, and ya can't even remember at the soddin hell it was." He offered because that was how he felt, she smiled weakly leaning her head on his shoulder.

"Something like that." She agreed, she could still feel that sweet ache as if it had all been real, but now it was just a dream. John wrapped his arm around her shoulders leaning his head against hers.

"Me too luv, me too." He comforted her, they sat in silence for a long time before she got up, and they went back to face Chas and Anne Marie. Zed fell into her bed that night feeling empty, she ached for that closeness that he'd given her. She just ached, she didn't know when she fell asleep, but she woke up exhausted her stomach in knots.