first time writing anything for portal. this was written in response to a request at the portal kink meme. the prompt: "An AU (I guess, because I can't see a way to work this into canon) where Human!GLaDOS and Chell go to a nightclub. Lots of dirty dancing, grinding, etc., with GLaDOS being skeptical at first, but eventually getting into it." i made it in canonverse. i ship these two like nobody's business. enjoy?
This wasn't what she had expected at all.
Honestly, it is the opposite of what she had expected; being freed from the laboratory, by her antagonist no less, but not only that. No, that almost seemed to make perfect sense by comparison.
On her way out of the lab, after the (begrudgingly admittedly) beautiful turret opera, there was horrible, crackling, deafening grinding sound. Chell swung her head around, searching for the source, but there was nothing that seemed immediately threatening, so she shrugged it off as leftover damage from Wheatley, or GLaDOS beginning to repair her facility. She just barely caught the melodious scream that echoed just before the door slammed behind the Companion Cube.
She'd wandered through the seemingly endless grassy field for about an hour when she saw a shape far ahead. Intrigued by the change in scenery, she sped up her pace. As she got closer, she realized the shape was human, and closer still, female. The stranger was incredibly thin, and all of her body visible above the grass was nude. She had her back to Chell and her arms crossed tight over her chest, seemingly undisturbed by the sound of Chell's footsteps. Chell found it incredibly odd, but also comforting to see another human. She had gotten so sick of robots.
Even when Chell got right behind her, the stranger didn't move, and Chell would have assumed she were a statue if she had not been obviously breathing. Chell blinked a few times, observing the woman's short, bobbed blonde hair, then slowly walked around her to meet light brown eyes. The woman opened her mouth.
"You have got to be kidding me."
That voice... nasal and smug and sarcastic, and somehow more unsettling without its computerized lilt. There was no one else it could be. But how the hell did GLaDOS end up a naked human woman standing in the middle of a field? Chell flinched, but only for a second, because GLaDOS was saying she'd already told her to go, so Chell decided she wouldn't even dignify this ridiculousness with a response, and turned around, dragging the Companion Cube behind her.
"Wait-!"
Chell would have kept going, if not for the edge to that soft new voice. She had never known the AI to panic except for those moments in the old Aperture labs, recalling her past as Caroline. She was loathe to admit it, but she had bonded with the murderous robot, and as she was obviously vulnerable and in need of help, Chell couldn't just leave her there. She wasn't really a monster, after all.
Turning back to the strange blonde woman, Chell fixed her with a stern look, then undid the knotted sleeves at her waist and stepped out of her orange jumpsuit, revealing a sort of beige, knee-length leotard underneath. She stepped purposefully back to GLaDOS, holding the jumpsuit out to her. GLaDOS looked at it as though it were diseased, shrinking back a little. Chell jabbed it toward her, gesturing to GLaDOS' naked body, and the other woman finally gave in, taking it gingerly with long, thin fingers.
Once she had put it on, she looked at Chell, then averted her eyes, muttering a stiff "thank you." She tried to cross her arms again, but it was obvious she was not used to having such appendages, and she had to attempt it three times, fully aware she looked like a fool. If it hadn't been nearing dusk, Chell might have seen a blush on her cheeks. GLaDOS huffed impatiently and clutched her arms tightly.
"Look, if things were different, I would have flatly refused your stinky, sweaty, stupid-looking jumpsuit," and she did not want to admit just how stupid it looked on her, let alone Chell, "but seeing as I am not currently in charge of a bottomless deathtrap, I am not above humbling myself just enough to get you to help me." When Chell continued to stand still, GLaDOS took it as a sign to continue.
"No, I don't know how this happened. My best guess is that that idiot triggered a dormant experiment while he was destroying my facility. I wouldn't be surprised if, while attempting to transfer Caroline's consciousness into me, the scientists came up with a back-up way to get her out should complications arise. As to where this body came from, I have no idea. There are some areas beyond my sight, as you well know," she finished, glaring at the brunette human. Chell merely continued to stare, then lifted a shoulder in a half shrug, asking if she was done yet.
"Anyway, I ... respectfully request your assistance with this nonsense. There's an entrance to the facility in the ground a few feet from here. If we can find the lab where they performed the transfer, then we could-"
Chell held a hand up to signal her to stop. Setting her features to a stern expression, she pointed to herself, then to the vast field behind her. When she ascertained that GLaDOS had gotten the idea, she turned around and began trudging away again. GLaDOS fidgeted with her arms again, now trying to un-cross them, and haltingly followed her.
"Wait, where are you going?" she asked, voice high-pitched with panic. Chell just pointed straight ahead again, dragging her cube along behind her. GLaDOS caught up to her, half-walking and half-trotting with her new, spindly legs, trying to catch Chell's eye with the utmost urgency. "I know you don't have many charitable feelings towards me, but hey, I let you go, didn't I? Why, when you were carrying me around, I almost felt as though we could call each other friends. Can't you help out a friend?"
Chell just kept moving forward.
"This isn't because I'm thinner than you and I look better in the jumpsuit, is it?"
Chell stopped, gave GLaDOS a wild-eyed look, then kept going.
"So you're really not going to help me?" It was only half a question. She shouldn't have expected it, but Chell was just so good at following orders, GLaDOS had hoped she'd be willing to follow one more. But alas, no. "Fine," she huffed, keeping pace with Chell. "Well, it wouldn't be the first time you murdered me, but instead of giving you that satisfaction..." she went quiet, surveying the surroundings.
"You really don't know where you're going, do you?" she prodded. Chell's silence was her answer. "I know the locations of all the entrances to my facility. I can lead you to one near a city." Chell did not respond. "Follow me," GLaDOS ordered, then broke away in a completely different direction.
Chell wordlessly followed.
GLaDOS didn't hate humans, as she liked to constantly remind Chell. They made excellent test subjects, and their smell wasn't really that horrible once you "grew accustomed" to it. And GLaDOS, or Gladys, as she had come to be called, had plenty of time to grow accustomed to it, in this city full of thousands of the creatures. When the two of them walked down the streets, Gladys would sometimes stare after particularly athletic-looking people wistfully, and Chell would have to punch her in the arm to remind her that staring is rude.
Gladys learned a lot about Chell in their first few months together, perhaps most importantly that Chell was capable of speech. Very articulate speech, actually. The first person she spoke to was a bank teller, whom she had to argue with over re-activating an account that had been dormant for 99999[CORRUPTED]. She made her case eloquently and with trademark tenacity, and eventually obtained a checkbook, debit card and several hundred dollars in cash. They spent their first night in a park, camping in a tent Chell wisely purchased. The next day, Chell spoke to a landlord and obtained the lease to a two-bedroom apartment.
They've been living there for five months. Chell still hasn't spoken to Gladys.
Gladys still makes the time to fling barbs at her, but never vicious enough that Chell will change her mind and throw her out. She's still a little stunned at the human's hospitality toward her, and she thinks that maybe they've become infected with that human emotion called friendship.
She would never in a million years admit that out loud, though.
