"Not the way I wanted to spend my Saturday night."

Deadpool kicked a stray soda can out of his path, sending it flying into the murky water of the nearby ditch. He didn't have any pockets to put his hands into, so instead, he placed them on his belt and continued to trudge along. The tar was still wet from the rain that had just ended a few minutes earlier, as was his costume, giving him chills to add to his anger.

How did you want to spend it?

He stalwartly ignored the voice.

Sitting at home watching infomercial reruns again?

He ignored this one as well, instead choosing to sulk in silence. The road he was on was one of the quietest he had seen, with pristine divider lines that seemed to glow in the dark. He had been walking for a little over an hour, and hadn't seen a single vehicle the entire time. Worse, he had seen three driveways.

"Stupid, rich, snobby..."

The neighborhood, if it could even be called that, was the most affluent in the state. The wide acres of forest were spotted with mansions, both old and new, a number of miles from a small street that made up the "downtown" area. On that street was a grocery store, a small boutique, a craft store, a single restaurant and the clinic, amongst a couple family-owned shops. It was the kind of place chain stores couldn't touch, and only old, rich families retired to.

Down that almost perfectly horizontal road, he saw a flash of light. The silence of the night was suddenly broken by the sound of an engine, speeding down the road at what he knew had to be over ninety miles an hour. The headlights came up fast, and he could recognize the car as that of a BMW Z4 Roadster, definitely the car of one of the locals.

"HEY!" Wade began to wave, running towards the car.

What the hell are you doing?

Getting a ride? Duh.

He chose to ignore the voices and continued to try and get the drivers attention. The BMW showed no signs of slowing down, which he thought was curious, but he continued to stand in the road. As the car closed in on him, the brakes let out a shriek and the car swerved to the side. It nearly hit him before it came to a halt several long feet behind him.

Taking the fact it stopped as a sign he was welcome, he walked up to the passenger side, noting the hood was down and the seat was a little damp.

"Cool stop." He told the driver, pulling the door wide open for himself. As he went to settle in the seat, he noticed the driver. A woman, who in the dim glow of the dashboard seemed to have a dark fluid dripping down her chin and staining the collar of her pale blouse. He couldn't see the injury from his angle. "Hey? Did you hit your head?"

She lifted her head to look at him, but was only able to keep herself up for a moment, and dropped back against her seat. Blood bloomed through the fabric of her long shirt, the only fabric she had on, overtaking the grey with a blackish red. He watched for a moment as gaping wounds disappeared up her shirt and down into the darkness beneath the dashboard, from her wrists to beneath her sleeves. The dampness in the passenger seat, he realized, was likely not from the drizzle that had begun.

Holy shit. Look at her, bro.

Motherfu-

"Yeah." Wade mumbled as her eyelids began to flutter shut, and her heaving breaths began to soften. He reached into the vehicle from the drivers side and lifted her easily into his arms, feeling her cool skin contrasting with the thick warmth of her blood. As it soaked through his suit, he felt himself becoming disgusted by the feeling for the first time in his long, violent life. He placed her down gently in the passenger seat and took over, lingering only long enough to put the hood up to block out the rain. The only sign she was even alive was the occasional ragged breath.

It's like...fate. Or something.

That we almost made her hit us with her car?

But did she? No. Fate, bro. F-A-T-E.

So what do we do?

First of all...we might wanna stop that bleeding.

Then what?

"Then we find a wedding chapel."