Max promised that he would love me forever. He lied. He said we would have a future together...marriage with children. Again he lied. We'll never live happily ever after like in those fairy tales. I can tell you that fairy tales are just that...fairy tales. It's just a figment of one's wishful imagination. It's make believe. A pretend. No one's ever going to be happy. Along with happiness comes sadness. Only, I hadn't expected my happiness would have been short-lived. Now my sadness is overshadowing whatever happiness I had with him.

I can't imagine ever loving anyone else as much as I love Max. I can still hear his voice in my head. I don't want to drown him out. I never wanted to know the feeling of missing someone in my life. It's been years, yet I still do.

I have decided to close this heart of mine, and to make sure there won't be any opening left to have someone else slither into it. I can't do this. I won't allow myself to have my heart broken all over again. It's too painful. I wish I could rip this heart and exchange it for a brand new one. One that will never feel, will never love, one that will be numb.

My dreams are no longer dreams, only nightmares of a future of me growing old and gray alone. There will never be another him. Nor will there be anyone else for me.

I know Max is looking down at me. Sometimes I feel his presence. How can I go on when his life has ended? I'm no longer living, but just merely existing. Merely existing.