OK, OK...I don't own any of the Scooby Doo people. Nor do I own Phantom or anything else I mention in this phic. The only thing I own is lil ol' me. *sigh*

PROLOUGE
(The Mystery Machine drives up next to the Palais Garnier and Scooby and the gang all climb out.)
Velma: Jinkies! Why are we stopping here?
Shaggy: Like, I dunno. That crazy lady at the computer said something about Phantoms. Zoinks!
Scooby: Rantoms! Roh no! (jumps into Shaggy's arms)
ME: oh gawd! Don't you guys EVER listen? I've brought you here in an attempt to make a humourous parody. (tosses down some scripts) Here are some overviews of what I want. Now go get into costume and take your places. We're gonna start as soon as I track down Erik.
Fred: And what if we refuse to be part of your diabolical scheme?
Me: (blinks) Fred...you used a multisylaboled word! Wow. Anyhow, a small demonstration of my powers. (snaps her fingers and fire rains from the sky for a little bit) So I can count on all of your cooperation right? The sooner we finish this fic, the sooner you may all go back to where you belong.
Daphnie: I think we should listen to her. She scares me.
Me: Good. See you all in a little bit. (poofs down to Erik's lair.) Erik!
Erik: (Emerging from the shower in a towel [don't flame me, you ladies like it and you KNOW it] and looking miffed) What do you want now??
Me: I found some new playmates for you!
Erik: This isn't going to be like last time is it? I STILL haven't gotten rid of all the Smurfs! (Smurf runs past and Erik groans)
Me: No no no....I brought Scooby Doo people to do the story with.
Erik: You have GOT to be kidding me.
Me: Aww...c'mon. It'll be fun. Now be a good little Opera Ghost and get dressed.
Erik: OK, fine. But you owe me, Phantomess.
Me: All right. One sappy piece with Raoul killing and Christine just for you.
Erik: Deal. (he grabs his clothes to change....long pause as he waits for the author to leave) Ahem....
Me: huh?
Erik: A little privacy?
Me: Oh yeah....sorry. I should...um...check on the others. (zaps herself out)

AND NOW, THE STORY

Cast:
Erik-himself
Daphnie-Christine
Fred-Raoul
Velma-Mme. Giry
Scooby Doo- M. Firman
Scrappy Doo- M. Andre
Shaggy- Piangi
Myustery Machine with the radio left on-Carlotta

(Everyone is rehearsing for the new opera, Hannibal Lector, the Mystery Machine is centre stage cranking out some old rock song, everyone else is standing around doing theatre stuff, except for Scooby and Scrappy who are looking over their new investment)
Scooby: Wow, Rappy...Ris is really ramazing!
Scrappy: Yeah, Uncle Scoob...And I got it really cheap. The guy I bought it from was real happy to get rid of it! Said something about a ghost!
Scooby: Ra Rost!
Velma: Ah, I see you gentlemen, er dogs, have heard the legend.
Scrappy: Not really.
Velma: Jinkies! I should tell you! The Opera Ghost has been here long as anyone can remember. That box up there, Box 5, is his! And he gets 20,000 Scooby Snaks a month as his salary. (rummaging in her dress) Here's a note from him. I found it in your office...thought it might be a clue....
Scappy: My Uncle Scooby and I don't believe in ghosts! Right Uncle Scoob?
Scooby: (hiding) no...of rourse rot....
Shaggy: (entering the scene) Like, sad to return to find the land we, like, love....threatened once more by, like, Rome's, like, far-reaching grasp, like....
Reyer: No, no, NO! Shaggy, we don't add like after everything!
Shaggy: Oh, yeah....like, it's just, like....hard for me....(practising) no likes, no likes, no likes....
Scrappy: Wow! Is that the Mystery Machine! I wonder if we could have a private rendition of one of the arias? Wouldn't that be swell, Uncle Scoob?
Scooby: Reah...Ronderful....
(the Mystery Machine revs in agreement and changes the radio station, suddenly *gasp* part of the set falls over and everyone panics)
Velma: Jinkies! It's the Phantom! And he's pissed!
Scrappy: He can't do that in my Opera! Lemme at 'im! Lemme at 'im!
Scooby: (holding Scrappy back) No, Rappy!
(the Mystery Machine revs angrilly and peels out of the place playing Hit the Road Jack at top volume)
Shaggy: Like, wait! I have a pizza in there!!! (chasing after the Mystery Machine)
Scrappy: Aw shoot! Now we don't have a diva to sing the lead
Velma: We don't have a tenor either....
Scrappy: No one cares about that.
Velma: Well...if you need a diva, how about her? (points to Daphnie)
Scrappy: Can she sing?
Velma: Not really. But she looks good!
Scrappy: Sounds good to me! Get her into costume! C'mon Uncle Scoob, let's go see if we can find a bum off the street to replace Shaggy with.
(After the performance, Fred knocks at the door of Daphnie's dressing room)
Fred: Hey Daphnie! You looked really hot out there!
Daphnie: Fred! I remember you! You ran into the sea to fetch my scarf!...Then you kept it....you're wearing it right now....
Fred: Umm...yeah....Anyhow, do you want to go for dinner?
Daphnie: Oh no...the little voice in my head said I can't.
Fred: Ha, yeah, that's cute hon. I'm gonna go call a cab. I'll be right back, be ready to go. (walks out)
Daphnie: Whatever....
Erik: (showing up behind the mirror, then turning to the author) No.
Me: What?
Erik: I am not going to do this if that shallow creature is my leading lady.
Me: Aw please? (puppy eyes)
Erik: Not gonna happen.
Me: I'll tell everyone about the Halloween party....
Erik: That's cheating.
Me: I know (grins)
Erik: (groaning) All right....(turning back to the dressing room with a shudder) Ok, I'm here, let's go.
Daphnie: Huh?
Erik: (Opening the mirror) Will you hurry up?
Daphnie: Who are you? Nevermind. You're sexy. (steps through the mirror)