Prologue: The Miraluka
The Jedi Purge ordered by Emperor Palpatine didn't only affect the Jedi Order. Force Sensitives across the galaxy were eradicated, including the Miraluka. Sparse populations remained, with the survivors joining the Rebel Alliance or staying hidden. After the Battle of Endor and the Empire's defeat, these survivors began to make themselves known again.
The Miraluka are a race of near-human Force Sensitives that have no eyes, only vestigial eye sockets. They 'see' through the Force, and can detect the auras of all living creatures. Their sightlessness often causes people to assume they are helpless or vulnerable, while in reality, Miraluka can detect creatures all around them. This makes it difficult to ambush a Miraluka who is trained in the Force and for this reason, many Miraluka joined the Jedi Order. Those who didn't possess strong enough Force aptitude to become Padawans were still found among the Jedi as administrators, clerks and instructors.
Chapter One: Training
Gray mists surrounded me as I knelt on the floor and allowed my consciousness to expand out of my body. I could feel my Master, Korgan, behind me. His aura was a bright gold that banished the mists around him. Through the Force I extended my sight far beyond my body, seeing myself kneeling on the ground in the meditation room. My vision passed through the walls, traveling down the Academy hallway. Padawans walked to and from classes, each having a different colored aura. Some were blue, others were yellow or tinged with gold. None shone as bright as Master Korgan.
It became more tiring to maintain as I pushed my vision out further, into the lush jungles of Yavin IV, and details became muddled and obscured. Shapes lost cohesion and simply became swirls of color, and when I could go no further, I began to bring my vision back to myself. As the trance ended, I took several steadying breaths. Master Korgan rose from his seated position to stand behind me, and laid a hand on my shoulder.
Being a Kel Dor, his hand was leathery brown and each finger was tipped with a long, sharp claw. When I first came to the Academy as a child, his hands scared me. I had nightmares of him growing angry with me and slashing me to ribbons with his claws, and removing his respirator to bite me with his grotesque mouth. As the years went by with him as my Master, I came to love and appreciate every moment I spent with him.
"Excellent work, Torr." he said, voice made robotic through the mask that allowed him to breathe in Yavin IV's atmosphere. "You have extended your mental reach far beyond your limit from last year."
I smiled from my Master's praise; it was the single greatest gift I could receive from him. I rose to my own feet, still somewhat surprised that I had grown taller than him. As a child, he had always towered over me- it frightened me at first, as he reminded me of a rancor and I feared he would transform into one during the night. When I stopped being afraid of him, his height always made me feel safe when I stood in his shadow. Now I stood several inches taller than him- indeed, I was taller than most of my peers here as I was the oldest Padawan in the Academy. It was called the Jedi Praxeum by the Masters, but most of us simply referred to it as the Academy.
"It's thanks to your flawless guidance over the past ten years, Master." I said reverently with a small bow. Korgan couldn't repress his laugh.
"Flawless? You were a little hellion when you first arrived. Some of the other Masters thought you'd never calm down. I know I was close to losing my temper with you at times."
"But you didn't, Master. My early struggles were a result of my issues, but your tutelage has shaped me into who I am today."
"For better or for worse." Korgan said, and if the Kel Dor's eyes weren't covered by a visor they would be twinkling with mischief. I smiled at him and adjusted the veil that hung over my face. Master Korgan gestured towards the door, indicating it was time to leave.
"Come, Torr, it is time for lightsaber practice. Padawans Jona and Klyx will be joining us." Korgan said, speaking of my fellow students. Jona being my closest friend in the Praxeum, a human girl who joined the Order a few years after I had arrived. Klyx is a Trandoshan, a reptilian humanoid who had a hard time getting along with the other Padawans due to his aggressive nature. I enjoy his company enough, especially as a sparring partner.
Traveling down the hallways at a brisk pace, Korgan and I picked up the other Padawans along the way. Jona was inside of her quarters, and under Korgan's watchful gaze I could only greet her with a chaste hug rather than the more intimate greeting I preferred. Jona followed behind me as I reached the sparring grounds, where Klyx was already running through an obstacle course to test his agility.
The Trandoshan leaped across chest-high obstacles, vaulted over pits and clambered over high walls. When Korgan called to him, Klyx immediately descended and jogged over to us, his breathing coming out as a low hiss. He bowed to Korgan and gave a friendly (for a Trandoshan) nod of greetings to Jona and myself. Klyx fell into line behind us as we approached the arena. A wide circle of well-tended ground, the dirt showed signs of battle damage that had been repeatedly smoothed out. A concrete shack on the far side of the arena housed the Praxeum's training lightsabers- weapons that would deliver a nasty shock, but not kill.
Korgan began handing out weapons to us according to what we had shown affinity for over the years. Jona received a single standard lightsaber, while Klyx received two. I was handed a saberstaff, a long handled weapon that emitted blades from both ends. The saberstaff was my personal favorite weapon, giving me multiple options during combat such as the ability to split it into two single-handed sabers. Like Jona, Korgan himself kept a single bladed saber. Sallying forth, we traveled out to the arena and faced each other. Korgan was staying out of this duel, promising to fight the victor.
Pacing in a circle around one another, we watched for an opening. I ignited only one end of my saber, and held it low like a spear. Jona was the first one to strike, launching a debilitating blast of Force energy at me while charging Klyx. I was shoved back, digging my heels into the ground to slow my travel. The Trandoshan leaped up over her head, attempting to strike Jona from above. Parrying his saber and thrusting out with the Force, Jona sent him flying far further than he had expected. I was ready to get into the fight, and used the Force to speed my movements as I ran at Jona
In an attempt to slow my charge, Jona lashed out with crushing blasts of telekinetic power that I countered with my own use of the Force. When I was ten meters away I leaped forward, the force of my jump kicking up a spray of dirt. Bellowing a battle cry in midair, I swung my saber, slamming into Jona's guard. She staggered back but managed to keep her footing, using the Force to anchor herself against the strength of my attack. We were locked, struggling to break the other's stance. I broke the stalemate by igniting my saber's other blade and sweeping up with it, forcing her to leap back to avoid getting hit. Throwing my hand out with my fingers outstretched, I curled them into a fist and pulled down. Jona was trapped in a prison of immense gravity, the dirt around her being flattened and compacted.
She struggled to stay on her feet, completely paralyzed by the immense pressure. Though was stronger than I was in raw Force power, she was being exhausted by having to counter my attack. Jona's eyes locked on mine as the contest of willpower swung in her favor, and she was able to make small movements towards me.
Jona was rescued by Klyx, who vaulted over her head, sabers swinging towards me. I had to release my grip on Jona to block the Trandoshan's attacks. Though unspoken, a truce was immediately formed between my two opponents. Jona joined in the assault and I was hard-pressed to defend against three lightsabers as the pair attempted to flank me. I was a whirlwind, spinning my saberstaff around to parry the other Padawans' strikes. Jona occasionally interfered with me by thrusting out with Force blasts and clouding my Sight to stealthily move to flank me, while Klyx was simply brutal with the strength of his blows.
With both of them hammering on me, I began to feel something unusual. A cold, vicious cunning put the chaos of battle into the background. My vision detached from my body, seeing Jona and Klyx's respectively blue and purple auras hammering against my silver aura. Jona was a bright beacon of the Force, and Klyx's aura almost seemed to swirl with darkness.
Using them against each other was the only way I could win. Klyx brought back his arm for a half second too long- enough time for me to use the Force to grip his blade and divert his swing- into Jona. His blade struck her squarely in the face, creating a loud crack and the smell of ozone as she crumpled to the ground. Korgan, watching the brawl from the sidelines, pulled her out of the fray with the Force.
With just Klyx in front of me, I stomped on the ground to create a shockwave of Force that pushed him back. Splitting my saberstaff into two separate blades, I threw one in a broad arc while running forward at him. He blocked my thrown blade with his stronger arm, and I thrust forward hard. His less favored arm couldn't hold my blade as I drove forward with both hands gripping my blade. Breaking through his guard, my saber rammed into Klyx's chest with such force that the explosion hurled him back, hitting the ground and tumbling away.
Though he tried to get back up, his limbs wouldn't cooperate and he collapsed to the ground. Master Korgan gently lifted him up and laid him down next to Jona, who was similarly unconscious. Giving me a moment to recover, my Master strode out on the field to face me. I Force Pulled my lightsaber back and re-assembled my saberstaff, both blades out and ready.
"Ready, Torr?" Korgan said, his golden aura glowing brighter as he prepared for the duel. I nodded, and dropped my stance lower. Immediately, my Master lunged forward, propelled forward like a rocket. His legs didn't seem to move before he was on top of me, his single saber crushing my guard and forcing me to drop a knee. I separated one of my sabers, using the Force to swing it at Korgan while both of my hands were busy holding him off me. He wrestled with me for control of the saber in midair, making our struggle both mental and physical. Korgan was pressing down on my blade with his own, inching it ever closer to my face while I fought to make the airborne saber strike him.
The feeling from before was growing. While Jona and Klyx together had been a challenge that I could overcome, Korgan's sheer might was overpowering. My body was already slightly fatigued from the exertion of fighting my fellow Padawans, and Korgan's strength was burning through the last of my stamina. While our sabers were locked and we attempted to control the airborne saber, he was also pushing down on me with the Force, making me split my attention even further.
It started as a growl in the back of my throat but grew into a roar as a surge of power rushed through me. My vision left my body again, showing Korgan burning like a sun, nearly eclipsing my silver aura. A surge of the Force bubbled forth from me, and I was barely able to control its explosion. Shoving against Korgan's saber, I was able to break the lock and rise to my feet; simultaneously, I took control of the airborne saber and slashed the back of his legs, driving Korgan to his knees. My hand thrust out, and silver lightning burst from my fingertips.
Absorbing the lightning with his hand and his saber, Korgan was able to weather the lightning barrage, and ended up turning it against me, coloring it gold as his own energy powered it. I attempted to block the energy as he had, but I couldn't contain it. As I caught more of the golden lightning in my hand, it built into a blazing incandescent sphere. My arm felt like it was vibrating as more energy was contained within my hand, and terror momentarily gripped me as I felt myself lose control.
With a deafening crack, the ball in my hand burst and a tidal wave of electricity poured forth. The bolts struck the ground, charring the dirt and puncturing clean through me, passing through my chest and searing the ground behind me. My clothing burst into flame, the loose training robes melted to my chest. The concussive force of the blast picked me up off me feet and threw me out of the arena. As I tumbled across the ground, I could feel the power draining from me. It was quickly replaced with pain. My skin felt like it was melting off my bones, and from the raw flesh of my hands and sizzling noises coming from my face and chest, I wasn't too far off.
I was laying on my side, my vision dark as the burst of Force energy had blinded me. All I could hear was my own breath in my ringing ears, and my heartbeat thudding in my chest. I felt hands grip my shoulders and knees, lifting me into the air. Even though all of the pain, I smiled because that was the longest I had ever lasted against Master Korgan. My vision went darker as unconsciousness took me into its shady embrace.
My sleep was disturbed by visions, memories from my childhood that often returned to plague me. I found myself in my childhood home on Dantooine, sneaking into my father's room while he was away at work. My mother was cooking meat pies for dinner, but I wanted to play before settling down for the night. Opening the drawer next to his bed, I pulled out a blaster pistol that was too large to hold in one hand.
Leaving the house, I told my mother I would be back in time to eat. I hid the weapon under my shirt and traveled to the settlement's spaceport, a relatively small but still busy part of town that always had a lot of empty cargo containers to play in. I was playing Rebel Commando, hunting imaginary Imperial Stormtroopers between the metal boxes. An explosion in the distance brought an end to my games. Peeking around the boxes, I could see a firefight from the settlement moving closer to me. Actual Stormtroopers were emerging from shuttles that had landed all around the settlement, firing on a speeder that was rushing towards the spaceport.
I opened the door of one of the cargo containers and hid inside. After a few minutes I heard yelling outside and the crate I was in started moving. I was lifted up, and the clanking of metal drowned out my screaming. Eventually everything became deathly quiet and extremely cold. My Sight was weak, and after my panic had subsided I was able to see just barely out of the cargo hold. I was surrounded by the void, on a cargo freighter in space. Hours passed there, shivering in the dark before the transport finally landed and I was revealed as a stowaway.
My Masters said that it was the Force working in its mysterious ways that I happened to be playing outside when the Empire rolled in to crack down on the planet. The settlement had been razed, and those who hadn't escaped on ships had been shot down. Later I understood why, as the place had been a secret Rebel supply camp. My father had been working for the Rebellion without my mother knowing, his day job of 'inventory management' was actually coordinating materials to go to the Rebel Alliance.
I had kept that blaster as a sentimental symbol. It wasn't the weapon of a Jedi, but I still practiced with it. The blaster was a low power civilian model, and I had never used it outside of the firing range but the blaster made me feel grounded. Like the ghost of my parents wouldn't truly leave me as long as I carried it.
As I floated in a vat of cool, soothing liquid, a respirator covered my mouth and nose that allowed me to breathe. My vision had also returned, and I could detect Master Luke Skywalker, Master Orsinian Dak, and Master Varro Korgan nearby. They were speaking, and out of sheer curiosity I moved my vision towards them in order to eavesdrop. Their voices were faded and distant, but I could still make out the words.
He used lightning, Master Skywalker. He's dangerous.
I disagree. I feel no dark side taint in them.
And none of us felt the dark side inside of Darth Sidious, either, Master Skywalker. It could be hiding itself now as it did then.
Darth Sidious was a trained and powerful Sith who was brought up in secrecy. Torr is young, still finding his connection to the Force.
And I used lighting during the fight as well, Master Dak.
You were channeling and reflecting the Padawan's attack, Korgan. The boy has shown troubling signs for years now, and this doesn't make me any more confident in his future.
His only 'troubling signs' are youthful independence. He doesn't fully embrace the Teachings, that doesn't mean he follows the dark side.
How are you two not concerned about this? The Padawan used techniques powered by the dark side. He was unable to control them, and nearly got himself killed.
You weren't in battle with him, Dak. It wasn't anger or fear that fueled his powers. I was purposely pushing him to the edge of his abilities. I could have ended the fight at any time, but I wanted to see what he would do to win. I was very impressed with the result.
If not anger, than what was it? What could power that manifestation of violence? Certainly not the light.
There is more to the Force than light and dark, Master Dak.
Of course, Master Skywalker. But the dark is constantly subversive.
It was Torr's sense of balance. He was losing; losing to a being of light. So his spirit channeled a surge of aggression and the desire to win- not necessarily evil traits- to bring balance to the fight.
Precisely, Master Skywalker. My Padawan couldn't fully control the rush of energy but I believe he can be trained to wield that power, call on it at will.
I don't know if that's a power we can teach him, Master Korgan. I know you care for him, but you know his sentiment towards joining the Order.
He always has been independent. While you may be right, I can't give up on my responsibility as his instructor.
The Padawan never stops learning, even if they are not physically with their Master. If you respect his wishes and let him go peacefully, he will learn far more than if you try and restrict him.
Then I propose...
There was silence for a time, and it felt like they were actively blocking me. My perception was dark and clouded, and not even sound penetrated the gloom.
Embarrassment flushed through me as I realized they had been aware of my eavesdropping and allowed it until those last few moments. Their discussion brought up feelings of conflict that had been rolling around my mind for years. The feeling of dread when it came to joining the Jedi Order as a Knight. The reasons for my not wanting to fully join the Order were numerous, and almost entirely selfish.
I recalled a discussion I'd had with Jona last month on this very subject. We had stolen a few moments of passion while Master Korgan was offworld recruiting new prospective Jedi. We lay in my bed, speaking barely above a whisper with our hands joined. Tears were rolling down her face by the end of our conversation.
"You'd leave all this? Me?" Jona asked, her whispered voice cracking from emotion.
"The Order would never allow us to be together even if I stayed." I replied. "They know about us now, I'm sure, and are only allowing it because we're Padawans."
"But why? I just can't understand why you want to leave."
"I just can't take the mantle of a Jedi if I fundamentally disagree with them." I said, trying to sort my own thoughts on the matter out. "The Jedi Order is the mirror of the Sith Empire. One fanatically follows light while the other fanatically follows darkness. Both are blinded by their complete devotion to their own side. While the Jedi aren't as overtly destructive as the Sith, their hands aren't entirely clean either. The Jedi suppress dissenting voices and knowledge, and not always because that knowledge is inherently evil. Austere sacrifice of emotion isn't the only path to mastering darkness."
"We who use the Force feel emotion far more strongly than those who don't, and if your willpower cracks, then you can 'fall'. The dark side is insidious and corruptive, but denying the chaotic part of yourself doesn't make it go away. Order and Chaos are opposing forces, and finding Balance is my path to enlightenment. Embracing and balancing your feelings, allowing them to guide you as much as reason and logic, is how I intend to live."
Jona's hands were warm and soft as she touched my cheek, and I knew that she wasn't fully understanding my reasons. She was a Jedi through and through. The Jedi's ideals were hers, and she had been determined to become a Knight and begin the process of rebuilding the Order for years. Her naiveté was charming, but it blinded her from seeing things that she didn't understand or approve of. Perhaps Jona expected we could continue our romance without anybody else knowing; though doing so would severely compromise her morals. I might be able to live and love, but to Jona it would be an enormous potential threat.
"I love you," she murmured. "I don't want to lose you."
"You're not losing me, Jona. You have the strongest connection to the Force I have ever seen, even the Masters have said so. I may not physically be here, but I will always be with you. And that's not just a figure of speech. Call on me at any time, and I'm sure I'll be able to feel you."
"Yes, I know. But it feels like our paths are going to take us in different directions."
"They undoubtedly will. But I don't think you'll ever be rid of me."
A smile graced her lips, giving her shiny eyes an extra twinkle and making her cheeks dimple. Sniffling and wiping her eyes, she gave my lips one last kiss before standing up and pulling her clothing back on. We both knew this was the last time we would be able to have a day like this, and before she was finished pulling her robe on I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back for one final kiss.
Back in the present, my bacta tank began to drain, the translucent blue liquid disappearing down a grate on the floor.. My limbs were stiff, but I pushed myself up to my hands and knees, then sat back. I pulled off my respirator, and untangled it from my gooey shoulder-length hair. My entire body was covered with the slimy aftereffect of the bacta treatment, which made my skin prune up and exaggerated the rippled look my scars had. Where the Force Lightning had pierced me, my skin was covered in thin red scars that branched out in hundreds of thunderbolt patterns.
A door opened in the tank, allowing me to stagger out. Jona and Master Korgan were waiting with towels, wrapping me up and assisting me back to my room. On the bed, a warm stack of clean clothes were waiting for me. Pulling myself into the loose beige pants and tunic of the same color, Master Korgan spoke to me.
"I'm glad you're awake. That was a rather spectacular duel."
"Thank you, Master. I'm feeling sore, but I think everything is healed. "
"You almost looked dead when they brought you in," Jona said, "your chest was bubbling like it had been boiled."
"Too bad you were unconscious, it was a beautiful fight." I replied.
"Torr." Korgan said in a stern tone, "This is a very serious turn of events and I want you to understand the gravity of it." I nodded and bowed.
"Of course, Master. I apologize. I understand if you wish to punish me for the outburst."
Korgan shook his head, and instead walked to my study desk, where a wooden box had been placed.
"I'm not upset with you, Torr. If anything, I'm proud. You're clearly coming to the end of your training."
Opening the box, Korgan tipped it towards me to reveal its contents. Lightsaber components were laid out, disassembled. Leaving the box open, Korgan lifted it with the Force and deposited it in my hand. It was fairly heavy, with the box and padding being extra weight.
"You have much to learn about yourself, my Padawan, and it's my opinion that you won't learn everything you need in the Praxeum." Korgan said, "The other Masters and I believe it's time for you to construct your lightsaber."
"Thank you, Master." I said breathlessly as I looked over the contents of the box. Everything was there to build the weapon, except the most crucial part.
"The crystal is missing, and that will be your final task here as a Padawan." Said Korgan. "Far to the east are caves full of lightsaber crystals. That is where you shall journey to find yours. You shall travel alone, with nothing but food, water, and weapons. There is no time limit to complete this task, but if you return here without your crystal then you will have failed the test and must attempt it again when we deem you ready."
I bowed again, and closed the box's lid.
"Shall I leave in the morning?" I asked, a sense of excitement and urgency making my heart beat faster.
"Leave when you're ready. I advise traveling during the day, as the jungles of Yavin IV are host to numerous dangerous beasts."
"Such as?" I asked, wanting to know what exactly I might be facing.
"I do not know the names of all of them, but tuk'ata and shyracks lurk in the darkness. One of the scouts reported seeing signs of a nexu, but not the actual animal itself."
Fighting against wild beasts would be radically different from anything I had done before; I hadn't even left the Praxeum since I arrived, and the wilderness outside of the temple remained largely untamed. There was only one road that led to an auxiliary spaceport in case multiple ships needed to land or take off, and even that road was lightly guarded for most of the year.
Korgan stepped forward and pulled me into a tight hug, the most affection he had ever shown me. My chin rested on his shoulder and I returned the embrace, thankful for his presence. Jona had been silent for the whole exchange, and as Korgan and I separated she moved in for her hug as well. Ours was brief, not wanting to make a scene in front of Korgan. My Master gave me a short, respectful bow before exiting.
"It has been my honor to train you, Torr Advantir. May the Force be with you."
The door shut behind him as he departed, and I sat with Jona for a while discussing my journey into the wilds.
"This day came so fast." She said, and I felt the same way. When it came to leaving the Praxeum, there was no formal graduation date. You were given a task when the Masters deemed you ready to become a Knight.
"I agree. I thought they would have kept me here longer for more training after my outburst earlier." I replied.
"I felt it while I was laying on the ground," Jona said, "I was on the edge of consciousness when I felt it flare up in you, like a geyser that exploded out of the ground. All of us felt something from it. I felt joy, and Klyx was mesmerized, like watching a god descend to the ground. The other Masters all had to see what was going on, even Master Skywalker."
"I heard them talking about me while I was in the tank," I said, "Master Dak is convinced I used the dark side but Master Skywalker said I channeled something else. Not light or dark, but the manifestation of balance. Since I was fighting Korgan, a being of light, I channeled feelings of aggression to defeat him. I think that their hope is that sending me into the dark side-filled jungles, it will strengthen my light side ties to balance myself."
"They could be sending you to your death."
"That's part of why they're sending me alone. I have to be tested, and if I fail then I'll only be dead. Not something worse."
"That's a terrible thing to say."
"I'd rather be dead than return and hurt you."
Jona was quiet for a while, looking over the datapads between us with information on some of the beasts I might be encountering soon: Tuk'ata, dark side-strengthened hounds; shyracks, giant bats with mouths full of sharp teeth, and possibly a nexu- a massive feline with a grotesquely grinning maw. Any one of those creatures could kill me easily, and the shadowy nature of the jungle impeded even my Force Sight.
When nightfall came, I decided to pack in for an early night. I lay in bed with Jona, and both of us slept deeply until the morning when I woke to find her gone. She had always been incredibly stealthy, using the Force to make her movements quieter and cloud the sight and thoughts of others. She called herself a Shadow, referencing an ancient classification of Jedi agent.
Where she had been, a backpack full of food and other supplies remained. I grabbed my father's old blaster pistol and holstered it on my belt. More goodbyes would be too painful on her, so I silently left the Praxeum. Master Korgan and Master Skywalker were standing by the gate leading out, and my Master handed me a practice saberstaff.
Master Skywalker shook my hand and inspected the scars that branched up my throat and down my arms.
"I was struck by Sith Lightning," the Master said, "it was the most excruciating pain I have ever felt. I am glad you survived with mere scars. Master Korgan and Jona both held your body together with the Force following your injury. In doing so, they left parts of themselves in you, echoes of love and light that you can call on when you're swallowed by despair."
I bowed to Master Skywalker.
"Thank you, Master, for giving me the opportunities you have. I shall try my best to succeed."
"My old Master once told me, 'Do or do not. There is no try.'. Trust in yourself, trust your feelings and trust in the Force. You will return to us."
The Master handed me a blaster pistol from his belt. It was larger and heavier than the one I carried, and I attached it to my belt. Though it was just a blaster, I could feel traces and echoes of Master Luke's aura on it. The weapon had been imbued with the Force.
I said my final farewells to them and turned to leave. The jungles in front of me looked dark and shadowy, a place of despair and death. I gripped my saber tightly as I strode towards it. To bolster my resolve, I repeated and focused on a mantra Korgan had taught me to overcome my fears.
Fear shall not consume me. I am one with the Force, and I shall come to no harm.
