A/N: Ok this is my first fanfic and I was inspired to write this after watching the final battle between Ichigo and Grimmjow. It probably feels kind of really OOC but when the idea popped into my head I had been awake for 30 hours straight and then the idea wouldn't leave me alone so here it is. Please enjoy ^^

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort/Romance, sort of Angst, probably Drama, MPREG, mentions of rape, Yaoi, MalexMale, OOC, etc... IchixGrimm Inspired by 156 Feelings by Shadow of Arashi (at least the chapters like 18, 20, 23, and 29)

Full Summary: This starts when Ichigo and Grimmjow are fighting in Las Noches. As they fight, Ichigo sees something flash in Grimmjow's eyes... That look confuses the shinigami because hollows weren't supposed to have hearts, so why did Grimmjow's eyes carry such sadness? As Grimmjow attacks, Ichigo catches his hand and asks the question; "Why do you look so sad?" That question flung open the flood-gates and filled them both with new and surprising emotions that could be just what they needed...

Ichigo's POV:

Why do you look so sad? That thought flitted through my mind as we danced with our swords. When you challenged me to fight all I could see was fire and excitement in your eyes; but now as we clash steel, and through the dust and debris when you think I can't see your face, that fire dims and that emotion slips through. Then after that split second is past you put on that smirk and re-stoke the flames in your eyes to ready for another attack. Our blades clash again and again, and where I could previously only feel rage and blood lust, now I sense something I cannot describe for I have never felt it from another during battle.'

Another blow found its mark and I smashed through another giant pillar. I must admit that these emotional slips of his catch me off guard and I'm probably taking more damage than I normally would. His loud laugh seems hysterical as he attacks almost as if something is slowly pushing his mind to insanity, and I wonder for a moment if it's this strange emotion. His next attack sends me crashing into another pillar leaving a gapping hole in the solid stone. My mask is about three quarters gone by now and I try to regain my breath as he slowly walked in front of me like a cat stalking it's prey.

His eyes seemed to be full of turmoil and it conflicted with the way he moved, like a predator. He was dashing towards me with his claws set to pierce my chest. I caught his hand in mine and looked at him with all the warmth in my eyes I could muster before finally asking the question plaguing my mind, "Why do you look so sad?"

He looked genuinely surprised at that single question because he didn't say anything; he just kept staring into my eyes. After the initial shock wore off, a range of emotions flashed through his eyes, the most prominent were confusion and fear, which caught me by surprise because I never in my wildest dreams thought I would see fear on that proud panther's face. The next question slipped past my lips, "What are you afraid of?"

He tensed at the question and tried to put some distance between us, which didn't work, as he noticed his hand was still firmly caught in my grasp. As he realized that I wasn't going to loosen my grip on his hand his posture changed entirely; his shoulders tensed, his feline ears flattened against his head, and his long tail wrapped around his legs. He then slowly turned his head to face me, the only emotions I could see on his face were fear, anxiety and deep rooted pain.

Seeing those emotions in his eyes and the defensive, fearful posture I did the only thing I could think of, I tugged on his hand and pulled him into a gentle embrace. A surprised gasp escaped from his lips and he tried to shrink away from my body; this just made me grip him tighter around his waist. I then slowly let go of his hand and used my now freed hand to gently run through his silky blue hair. I could feel his body tremble in my arms and his next move caught me by surprise; he shifted his weight so he was leaning on me, it was light and his body was still tense, then he tilted his face so it rested in the crook of my neck.

This slight shift was quite shocking for me but not as shocking as what I now felt on my shoulder; almost immediately after Grimmjow had buried his face in the crook of my neck, warm moisture spread slowly. At first my mind rejected the thought that was forming until I noticed that his shoulders were still shaking and his breathing was ragged and uneven. What I thought was impossible was actually happening, the proud blue haired arrancar was crying on my shoulder! Instinctively I started gently rubbing his back as he seemed to unravel in my arms.

Grimmjow slowly started to adjust to my touch, he leaned against me a bit more and his shoulders started to relax. Then slowly, tentatively his arms circled around to my back and he lightly gripped the cloth at my shoulders. These slow cautious moves made me think that he was acting like a skittish kitten. This thought brought a smile to my lips as I tightened my arm around his waist. We stayed like that until I felt his breathing even out and his shoulders stopped trembling.

When it seemed like Grimmjow had calmed down, I gently pulled him off of my shoulder so I could see his eyes. Those beautiful cerulean eyes of his that were usually so full of fire now were bloodshot and slightly puffy. The expression they held was devoid of that fire, replaced with a tired, cautious and curious look. I opened my mouth to ask him what was wrong when he put a finger to my lips, effectively cutting me off.

"I want to tell you about my past, will you listen?"

I just nodded my head and pulled us over to a large piece of the pillar that had fallen. We both sat down and I immediately pulled him so he was leaning against my chest with my arms wrapped around his middle protectively. He seemed to relax at my touch, which caused my lips to pull upward into a smile. He just relaxed against my chest as he thought of how to begin.

Grimmjow's POV:

"Why do you look so sad?" the orange haired shinigami asked calmly. The fact that he caught my attack, and then he goes and asks the same question that basically got me into this mess had me surprised to say the least. After all that was the question that Aizen asked me when we first met, although he was nothing but sarcastic and cold when he did so. I froze as the unwanted memories came flooding back. Something must have shown on my face because the next thing I hear is the shinigami quietly ask "What are you afraid of?"

This had to be a first for me, someone being able to read my true emotions so clearly and actually seem to care and mean it. This left me momentarily stunned and feeling vulnerable so I tried to get away from this man. I suddenly realized he still had my hand in his tight grasp and he had no intention of letting go. My body suddenly remembered being dragged to Aizen for more abuse and as a reflex my body curled in defense.

I chanced a look at the man who had me trapped. I could feel the adrenalin pumping through my veins, fear almost certainly etched on my features as I peered into strange gold on black eyes, the expression those eyes held was soft. He let the last bit of his mask crumble away and his eyes returned to those warm chocolate brown eyes.

I didn't expect what happened next; after looking into my eyes for a moment, he suddenly tugged my hand and wrapped his other arm around my waist. I gasped at the sudden motion and tried to back away from his body. This only made him grip me tighter. I was momentarily confused when he let go of my hand, but then I felt his hand moving through my hair. To be treated so gently was a completely foreign sensation for me. I shivered as I felt something welling up in my chest, something I never felt before. The feeling rose and I felt my eyes prickle with moisture.

Something told me that I could trust this shinigami, no Ichigo; I can trust Ichigo even though my instinct was screaming at me to trust no one. I decided to follow that strange felling and I leaned into him slightly and turned my face into the crook of his neck.

I was confused when I felt the cloth getting damp, then I noticed that I was crying. When I realized this, the tears seemed to fall faster and my breathing became uneven. Then I felt his hand move on by back. The gentleness of the action was comforting and I could feel the tension in my shoulders start to melt away. I leaned a little closer to him, and seemingly on their own, my arms circled around him slowly. His arm tightened around my waist and for the first time, I felt completely safe.

We stayed like that until my tears stopped and my breathing evened out. He slowly pulled me off of his shoulder and when I looked at him I saw his chocolate brown eyes filled with concern. He opened his mouth to say something and I placed a finger to his lips before he had the chance to get the words out. The words that I spoke seemed to surprise us both; "I want to tell you about my past, will you listen?" He nodded and pulled me over to a particularly large piece of rubble that used to be a pillar. We sat down and he pulled me against his chest and wrapped his arms around my waist in a protective manner. That feeling of safety came back and I relaxed into his embrace as I thought of where to start my story.

I took a deep breath and started by telling him about how hollows become gillians, then how gillians became adjucas, and the fear that prompts all adjucas to seek out more power. Then I told him how I became the leader of a group of adjucas who were striving to become vasto lorde. After some time they abandoned their goal and I became a king with no subjects.

"Shortly after that Aizen found me and turned me into an arrancar…" I turned my head to look into warm eyes "…and that is when my hell truly began."

I paused and Ichigo stayed silent, waiting for me to continue. "When we are reborn as arrancar, we are given a number; the numbers one through ten are reserved for the strongest. As well as the number we in the top ten are called espada. What we didn't know at the time was that there was another reason Aizen chose us to be espada." My breath caught a little as I recalled those events. I pushed myself to continue but I could feel my muscles tense a little and my shoulders started to shake. I guess I felt reassured when Ichigo tightened his grip, trying to calm me down, because I stopped shaking.

I took a few shaky breaths before I continued. "We found out his ulterior motives pretty quickly, but none of us could do a damn thing about it." I turned and looked into Ichigo's eyes, trying to find the strength to voice out Aizen's sins and my humiliation. What I saw in his eyes must have been what I needed because the words poured from my mouth before I could really process anything. "Aizen used us all in cruel and unmentionable ways. We were his pet projects, lab rats for his sick experiments. One of his tests showed that my body had some of the rare qualities that would allow me to carry children."

My eyes stayed locked with Ichigo's and I could almost see the gears of his mind turn, processing the information, then it clicked and his eyes went wide in a look of horror. "It looks like you can guess what happened." I broke our eye contact, afraid to see his reaction to what I was going to say next.

Tears started to prick my eyes again; I didn't let them spill as I said what would confirm Ichigo's hunch. "That bastard raped me countless times until I did get pregnant." Ichigo went rigid behind me, to the point where I couldn't even feel him breathing. My shoulders were shaking and my eyes were burning with unshed tears but I forced myself to keep talking. "He locked me in his lab until they were born, there were three of them. He separated us immediately but my instincts screamed at me to get them back. Apparently hollows have extremely strong parenting instincts, no matter who fathered the litter."

"I haven't seen them since, hell I don't even know if they're alive or not." Now the tears did fall as I imagined what happened to my kittens. Ichigo was silent. I turned to look at him; he was looking off at the distance with pure fury and hatred burning behind his eyes.

"I-Ichigo?"

His eyes snapped to mine, the loathing switched to determination. "Let's go get them." When he said that, the determination in his voice made me feel like I was floating. He relit the fire in the very depth of my being. Along with that fire was… hope? Was that what I was feeling? Then they hit me, all of the questions I had forced myself not to thing about. What if I fail? What if I can't get them back? How can I raise them away from Hueco Mundo? What if they are already dead?

Thinking that last question made me gasp. I started to shake again as that question echoed in my head. Ichigo must be a mind reader because what he said shocked me again. "If Aizen killed them, then you get the first swing at him, then you can pummel his corpse into a bloody pulp." If I wasn't sure before I am sure now, I can trust Ichigo.