I coughed and hacked trying to regain the air I had lost. Tom... for a moment there, I thought he was about to crush my ribcage. I never knew he had that much strength. I was just saying why he wasn't a nothing. The someone loves him, and then... he just completely exploded and clutched at me as if I was going to disappear. I could feel the tears start to soak into my sweater. He was crying. I was going to ask what was wrong but his grip-I wasn't able to gasp for breath.
He bolted out of the room before I was even able to regain my composure. Why did he act like that? Why did he start to cry? I struggled back to my feet and was about to leave when something caught my eyes.
A cord... Was he... no... No...
I moved away and out of the room. Silently I walked into his. Opening the door, little by little. I gasped when I saw him. His face was stricken with an expression of pure shock and terror. He was huddled into a ball staring at nothing but his reflection. I couldn't believe it. Slowly I walked toward him and placed a hand on his shoulder. He flinched as if he were being burned burn.
"Peter, please leave me alone... please." I kneeled down in front of him and looked at him in the eye.
"Tom..."
"GO AWAY!" He yelled. I instantly grasped him and then held him toward me. Struggling and flailing, he tried but couldn't get out of my hold. No, not in the condition he was in... I held him tightly against me. Finally he relaxed and turned around and buried his face into the base of my neck and cried. His body trembled and I felt his arm slip around my neck. I stroked his hair, his back, trying to comfort him.
"I did it... it was all my fault..." I heard him.
"What's you fault?"
"Dickie is dead... I did it... I killed him... I did it all... and I almost killed you... Peter... everything I am is nothing but a lie and now... I don't know if I can keep doing this... how I can... " He hiccuped and moved away from me, but I held him back. He looked at me, eyes filled with tears.
"I'll be here, Tom, I will always be here for you." I kissed his tears. "I will help you through this." I pressed my lips against his forehead and then looked straight into his eyes. "I care about you Tom. I am willing to do anything to help you." I closed the distance between us and kissed his lips lightly, a physical proof of my commitment. He responded shyly and broke the kiss and just snuggled against me. I buried my face into his hair inhaling him.
"I'll never leave you alone. I promise." I murmured to him as the silence befell upon both of us.
He bolted out of the room before I was even able to regain my composure. Why did he act like that? Why did he start to cry? I struggled back to my feet and was about to leave when something caught my eyes.
A cord... Was he... no... No...
I moved away and out of the room. Silently I walked into his. Opening the door, little by little. I gasped when I saw him. His face was stricken with an expression of pure shock and terror. He was huddled into a ball staring at nothing but his reflection. I couldn't believe it. Slowly I walked toward him and placed a hand on his shoulder. He flinched as if he were being burned burn.
"Peter, please leave me alone... please." I kneeled down in front of him and looked at him in the eye.
"Tom..."
"GO AWAY!" He yelled. I instantly grasped him and then held him toward me. Struggling and flailing, he tried but couldn't get out of my hold. No, not in the condition he was in... I held him tightly against me. Finally he relaxed and turned around and buried his face into the base of my neck and cried. His body trembled and I felt his arm slip around my neck. I stroked his hair, his back, trying to comfort him.
"I did it... it was all my fault..." I heard him.
"What's you fault?"
"Dickie is dead... I did it... I killed him... I did it all... and I almost killed you... Peter... everything I am is nothing but a lie and now... I don't know if I can keep doing this... how I can... " He hiccuped and moved away from me, but I held him back. He looked at me, eyes filled with tears.
"I'll be here, Tom, I will always be here for you." I kissed his tears. "I will help you through this." I pressed my lips against his forehead and then looked straight into his eyes. "I care about you Tom. I am willing to do anything to help you." I closed the distance between us and kissed his lips lightly, a physical proof of my commitment. He responded shyly and broke the kiss and just snuggled against me. I buried my face into his hair inhaling him.
"I'll never leave you alone. I promise." I murmured to him as the silence befell upon both of us.
