Author's Note: I don't own Mortal Kombat or any of its characters - Though I wish I did, because then I would be more popular...

Prologue:

A long, long time ago, in a realm far, far away...

The war between the fallen Elder God, Shinnok, and the heavens had come to an end. Entire civilizations were destroyed and many were killed, but at long last, Shinnok was defeated and imprisoned in the Netherrealm. For the next bazillion years or so, Shinnok rotted away in Hell, forced into doing odd jobs, such as scrubbing toilet seats, shoe-shining Lucifer's hooves, or working part-time as a singing waiter at a Netherrealm jazz café.

As fate would have it, a travelling demon-sorcerer named Quan Chi visited the Netherrealm one day in search of cheap hookers. Upon meeting Shinnok, the two made a deal - In exchange for retrieving Shinnok's old amulet, Quan Chi would be offered a cushy position at Shinnok's right hand once they succeeded in overthrowing the pompous fatass in charge of the Netherrealm. In time, Shinnok would return to the world above and finish what he started.

Meanwhile, backon Earth, the heroes had just successfully defeated Shao Kahn and prevented his merger of Outworld and Earthrealm. Just as everything seemed peaceful once more, a new battle was just beginning - A battle that was more chaotic, more twisted, and more unbelievably raunchy than both the battles against the Deadly Alliance and the Dragon King combined...

MORTAL KOMBAT EPISODE 4: A NOT-SO-NEW HOPE

In the fifth plane of the Netherrealm, Satan von Lucifer, the realm's almighty lord and ruler, was sitting in his office filing paperwork with his assistant, Marco, at his side.

"Here," said Lucifer, handing Marco a folder, "You know, Marco, I've been thinking..."

"About what, sir?" asked Marco in a small, squeaky voice.

"About promoting Jeff," replied Lucifer,"You know, from the fifth floor."

"Jeff?" said Marco, placing the folder in a drawer "You mean the guy who leaves flaming doggy bags on on doorsteps? Or sends faxes of his ass to everyone in the office? No offense, sir, but he's a complete goofball."

"True," said Lucifer, "But he's a damn good worker...And everytime he looks at me with those puppy-dog eyes, it just makes me feel all warm inside."

"But..." began Marco.

"But nothing," interrupted Lucifer, "We're all hard workers and every once and a while we deserve a nice reward for our efforts. For example, check this out!"

Lucifer held up a large cheque.

"See this?" he said, "This is from those old Red Bull commercials I did!"

"Sir," began Marco, "When are you ever gonna cash that?"

"Soon," promised Lucifer, "For now, I just like looking at it!"

Just then, the office door burst open, and Shinnok and Quan Chi appeared at the entrance.

"Well, well, well," began the Devil, "If it isn't the Fallen Elder God, Shinnok, and his new buddy, Uncle Fester!"

"Dammit!" snapped Chi, "Who the fuck is Uncle Fester and why does everybody keep calling me that?"

"Listen," said Lucifer, "I've told you a thousand times! If you wanna talk to me, you have to make an appointment first!"

"I'm not here to talk to you," said Shinnok coldly, "I am here to overthrow you!"

Lucifer and Marco instantly fell to the floor and began laughing uncontrollably.

"This guy's a fuckin' riot!" yelled Lucifer, trying to regain composure, "Overthrow me? HA!"

Shinnok merely crossed his arms and patiently waited for the two to finish their laughing fit.

"Alright," said Lucifer, wiping a tear from his eye, "So what is it you wanted to talk to me about?"

"I told you," began Shinnok, "I'm here to overthrow you!"

"Oh," said Lucifer, "You're serious?"

Shinnok and Quan Chi nodded.

"And how do you plan on doing that?" asked Lucifer, "You know that your powers are useless in Hell! I'll easily destroy you!"

"Actually," said Marco, "You can't die in the Netherrealm. The worst that can happen is that your head will comically blow up and then regrow and then you'll get tossed in a dungeon for several centuries until you learn your lesson. Trust me, I've been there..."

"Sweet!" said Quan Chi, "It's just like that guy from Men In Black...What's his name again?"

"Jimmy?" said Shinnok.

"Jeff," said Lucifer, "It's Jeff!"

"No!" snapped Marco, "It's Jeebs!"

The room was filled with a chorus of "Oooooohhhhh's."

"HEY!" snapped Shinnok, "Enough of this bullshit! I came to defeat you and I'm gonna accomplish this mission!"

"How?" demanded Lucifer.

"With this!" said Shinnok, holding his amulet, "My buddy here can travel through realms and so I had him to pick this up for me!"

Lucifer gasped, "They separated you from that thing!"

"Well," said Shinnok, "Now it's back!"

Lucifer charged up a large fireball and shot it at Shinnok and Quan Chi, who merely deflected it.

"EEP!" screeched the Devil, "Help me, Marco!"

"Um," began Marco, "You're on your own, sir!"

Marco then jumped out of a nearby window.

Shinnok then fired a white beam at Lucifer, who began to shrink. Shinnok picked up the now-tiny devil and held him in his palm.

"Please!" begged Lucifer in a small, squeaky voice, "Don't kill me!"

"Then you'll let me have your throne?"

"Yes! Yes! You can have it!"

"Good..."

Shinnok flicked the miniature Satan out the window before sitting in his old chair.

"Aaah," said Shinnok, lifting his feet onto the desk, "This is gonna be sweet!"

"Tell me about it, sir!" said Quan Chi, "In no time, we'll be able to return to the heavens to finish what you started."

"Yes," said Shinnok, "Now, as my first order of business: Announce to the people of Netherrealm that there will be some major changes!"

"Yessir!"

"Oh, and tell Jeff from fifth floor that he's fired..."