SCHADENFREUDE

'Do you mind?' A hufflepuff said distastfully while Sirius laughed as a beautifully executed breeze charm that displayed her neon pink underwear under her skirt.

'Not at all, honey.' Sirius laughed. The girl turned an even darker red and hurried away.

'That's not very nice, Black.' Evans snapped.

'Schadenfreude, Evans.'

'I don't want to talk to you anyway.'

'Oooh, what's wrong Lily-flower?'

She turned away, her red hair bouncing.

Sirius frowned, then he had an idea. 'Right now, you are down and out, and feeling really crappy.'

Lily nodded, 'That's for sure.'

'And when I see how sad you are it sort of makes me...happy!'

'Happy?!' Lily cried, thunderstruck

'Sorry, Lily, human nature- nothing I can do!' Sirius explained, 'It's... Schadenfreude! Making me feel glad that I'm not you.' He added after seeing Lily's expression.

'Well that's not very nice, Sirius!' Lily shouted, looking horrified

'I didn't say it was nice! But everybody does it!' Sirius pesisted, 'even you, I mean, did you ever clap when a waitress falls and drops a tray of glasses?'

'Yeah...' Lily said ashamedly.

'And ain't it fun to watch figure skaters falling on their asses?'

'Sure!' Lily said sarcastically,

'And don'tcha feel all warm and cozy, watching people out in the rain!'

'You bet!' Lily said, genuinely playing along. A smile now graced her face.

'That's...' Sirius gestured for her to join in, so she did so, 'Schadenfreude!' they chorused.

'People taking pleasure in your pain!' Sirius concluded,

'Oh, Schadenfreude, huh? What's that, some kinda Nazi word?' Lily said politely,

'Yup! It's German for "happiness at the misfortune of others!"'

'Watching a vegetarian being told she just ate chicken!' Lily laughed along, gaining disapproving looks from nearby people.

'Or watching a frat boy realize just what he put his dick in!' Lily stared at Sirius. HYPOCRITE!!

'Being on the elevator when somebody shouts "Hold the door!"' Lily continued,

Sirius nodded and joined in, '"No!!!" Schadenfreude!'

'"Fuck you lady, that's what stairs are for!"' he added,

'Ooh, how about... straight-A students getting Bs?' Lily added. Sirius raised an eyebrow. HYPOCRITE! 'Exes getting STDs!' he continued anyway,

'Waking doormen from their naps!' Lily hollered,

'Watching tourists reading maps!' Sirius shouted, waving his arms in front of him,

'Football players getting tackled!' Lily cackled, really getting into it.

'CEOs getting shackled!'

'Watching actors never reach...'

'The ending of their oscar speech!' They continued, 'Schadenfreude! Schadenfreude! Schadenfreude! Schadenfreude!'

'The world needs people like you and me who've been knocked around by fate. 'Cause when people see us, they don't want to be us, and that makes them feel great!' Sirius explained,

'Sure! We provide a vital service to society!'

'You and me!'

'Schadenfreude!'

'Making the world a better place...'

'Making the world a better place...'

'Making the world a better place...'

'To beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!' They ended triumphantly,

'Hey Sirius how do you spell it?'

'S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E!' SIrius hollered,

Lily laughed, 'Thank you Sirius, that really cheered me up.'

'Oh you shouldn't thank me.' Sirius said, matter-of-factly,

'Why not?'

'Well...' Sirius paused, 'because it's going to be all over school that Lily Evans takes pleasure in other people's pain...' He finished, eying Lily warily yet amused.

'BLACK!' Lily screamed, 'Why did you do that?'

Sirius laughed, 'Schadenfreude, baby!' And with that he sped out of there with a furious redhead on his tail.